Do What I Want: A High School Bully Romance (Dirty Little Secret Book 2)

by Kai Juniper

I grab his shirt and yank him down to my face and kiss him. It's something I would normally only do in my head, or in a dream, but I mustered up the courage and just did it.

  I've wanted to kiss Briggs since that day at his pool, and finding out he did something nice for me and didn't even try to take credit for it? It turns me on. I had to kiss him.

  "Ella." He breathes out my name, cupping his hands around my face and backing us up to his car. I turn and lean against it, my hand still gripping his shirt as we kiss. His body presses against mine, his hand running over my hair.

  He stops kissing me and rests his forehead against mine, sounding out of breath. "Why are you doing this?"

  "Because I wanted to."

  "Fuck." He squeezes his eyes shut.

  "What? What's wrong?"

  "Nothing." He shakes his head. "Everything's fucking great."

  "I don't get it. Are you being sarcastic?"

  "This." He looks in my eyes. "When we're together like this, it feels good. It feels...fucking amazing."

  "Then why are you upset?"

  "I'm not. It's just—this wasn't supposed to happen. You're Ella Quinn."

  I smile. "And you're Briggs Chadwick, III."

  "Exactly. This isn't us. We're not supposed to do this."

  "Does that mean we can't?"

  "I don't know." He turns and steps away.

  "Briggs, I'm not forcing you to do this. If you don't want to, I—"

  "But that's the thing." He walks back to me. "I want to, which makes no fucking sense."

  "Why does it have to make sense?"

  He stares at me, not saying anything.

  "Does it?" I ask. "Does it really have to make sense or can we just do this without thinking so much?"

  "Why would you want this? After everything I've done to you, why would you want this?"

  "I'm still trying to figure that out. My brain keeps telling me to stay away from you, but I can't make myself do it. Spending all this time with you, I've seen a side of you I didn't know existed. I think I always knew you weren't as evil as my mind made you out to be, but I didn't want to believe it. It was easier to think of you as this evil monster who couldn't possibly care about anyone but himself."

  "Maybe that's who I really am."

  "It's not. That day you had me backed against the wall at school, you could've done anything to me. We were alone. Nobody would've heard me. When you put your hands on me I panicked, but then I looked at your face and your eyes and I could tell you wouldn't do it. Finn would've. Parker might've too. But you wouldn't."

  He looks down, then back up at me. "I think you're giving me too much credit."

  "Are you saying you were going to do something to me that day?"

  "I'm saying you think I'm better than I am. And you're wrong."

  "Why am I wrong?"

  "I'm a Chadwick. I'm the evil monster you thought I was. I always have been. It's who I am."

  "I don't believe that."

  "Believe what you want, but it's the truth. You need to stay away from me."

  "What if I can't?" I take a step closer, so close we're almost touching, and look up at him. "What if all I've been able to think about is when I could kiss you again?"

  "Ella, don't do this," he says, leaning down to my face, his hand gently wrapping around my head. "You'll regret it. We both will."

  "Maybe later. But not now."

  I go to kiss him, but he beats me to it, his lips pressing into mine, his arm going around my waist. I can feel the hard length of him against me and my mind goes back to the two of us in the pool. We almost did it. I wanted to, but I couldn't. I want to again now, but I still have doubts. I still worry about what will happen afterwards. How I'll feel. How Briggs will treat me.

  So for now, I'll just do this. This is good. So damn good. Briggs' tongue moving expertly in my mouth. His hands touching all the right spots. I've never felt this much with a guy, and it's not just my body, but my emotions. That's what worries me the most, how much I'm falling for Briggs. How much I'm getting my heart involved, knowing he can't be trusted with it.

  After a few minutes, I feel him slowly pull away. "You should go home. Your dad's probably wondering where you are."

  "He's out with Susan. He won't be home until late."

  "You should still go home."

  "Why? Do you need to leave?"

  "I need to not be alone with you. I don't trust myself."

  "I trust you."

  "You want to, but you don't. And you shouldn't." His eyes lock on mine. "I want you, Ella. I'm not even going to try to pretend I don't. And when we kiss like that, I don't want to stop. I want to feel you, and touch you, and do the things that will lead us down on a path we can't go."

  "You could stop yourself if you tried."

  "You really want to test that theory?"

  I shrug. "I'm open to it."

  "It's a bad idea."

  "Or the best one ever."

  He smiles. "You seriously don't give up, do you?"

  "It's something we have in common."

  "I fucking love that about you. That drive to go after what you want? It makes me want you even more."

  "Then kiss me."

  "What if I can't stop?"

  "You would if I told you to."

  He pauses, looking at me. "You're right. I would."

  "Then what are you waiting for?"

  He leans down and kisses me, and the feeling is back. That spark, the exhilarating feeling I can't get enough of. The feeling I only get with Briggs.

  Briggs is right. Being with him is a bad idea.

  But stopping it seems like an even worse one.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Briggs

  It's Thursday night and I'm running out of time to make the donation. I have the money in my account, but I don't want to give it away. That money is my future. I've been saving it in case my dad doesn't follow through and give me the car. It was my backup plan for getting the hell out of here. So far, I've saved up twenty thousand. I'm giving up half if I do this.

  "Briggs!" my dad calls out.

  "In the kitchen!" I yell back.

  It's seven, and he's supposed to be at the club tonight. If I knew he was coming home, I would've eaten dinner in my room.

  He walks in, wearing his dark gray suit. His tie is still on, which means he must've skipped the club and worked late. He usually removes his tie after a few drinks at the club.

  "I had a horrible day," he says as he opens the fridge. "Why isn't there ever anything to eat in this house?"

  "There's leftover sushi in there," I tell him.

  "I'll just have a drink." He opens the freezer drawer and takes out a bottle of vodka. He grabs a glass and fills it almost halfway. He's not using the proper glass for vodka, which means he's in a hurry to get drunk.

  He's in a bad mood and drinking. I need to get the hell out of here.

  "I'm going to finish this in my room," I say, picking up my plate of leftover pizza.

  "Sit down," he orders as he stands across from me at the high-top counter. "I want to talk to you."

  I sit down on the barstool. "What about?"

  "Did you talk to your mother?"

  "Yeah, she called me."

  "And what did she say?" He takes a swig of his vodka.

  "What you already told me. All that shit about her spiritual awakening."

  He lets out a harsh laugh. "It is shit, isn't it? What the hell is she thinking? She's clearly lost her mind."

  "I asked her to come to graduation."

  He sets his glass down. "And?"

  "She told me no."

  He sighs. "I'm sorry, Briggs."

  He's sorry? What the hell? It almost sounds like he cares. It must be the vodka talking.

  "I shouldn't have asked," I say. "I already knew the answer."

  "It's good you asked. Your mother needed to hear your disappointment. I assume you told her you're disappointed."

  "She could tell. I kind o
f got angry at her."

  He smirks. "Good for you." He gulps down the rest of his vodka. "The woman is insane to not attend her own son's graduation. It's shameful, and I'll make sure everyone knows her lack of attendance is out of pure selfishness and a lack of concern for her son."

  He'll do it to make her look bad, not because of any concern for me. It's part of his revenge for her divorcing him.

  "Were you working late?" I ask, wanting to change the topic before his anger for my mom ends up back on me.

  "I was meeting with the accountant." He gets the bottle of vodka and refills his glass. "He seems to think we should be giving more to charity." He huffs. "I almost threw him out of my office. You know how much I hate the idea of giving to people who aren't motivated enough to meet their own needs. It disgusts me." He drinks his vodka.

  "Why does he want you to give to charity?"

  "It wouldn't be me, personally, but the company. And it would decrease our tax liability. When he explained that, I felt less of a need to fire him. Reducing our taxes is the only reason I give to charity, but I still hate it, unless of course it's for something worthwhile, like supporting the opera or the art museum. At least then I can tell our clients I'm supporting something that benefits them."

  "Maybe you should do it," I say, thinking this could be my way out of having to use my own money for the donation. I could use the company's money, and maybe even give more than ten grand. Maybe I could give thirty, covering what Finn and Parker were supposed to give.

  "I'd rather pay the damn taxes," my dad says, "and you know how much I hate paying taxes."

  "It's good marketing," I tell him. "You could attract new clients if the company name was listed on donor lists of different charities. People on the board of directors look at those lists. And those people tend to have money."

  He rubs his chin. "You may have a point. Perhaps I'll consider it."

  "Could I do it? Could I pick the charity and make the donation?"

  "Why would you want to do that?"

  "It's good practice for when I'm running the company. You always say I should take more initiative. This is me taking initiative."

  He eyes me. "Why now? You've never taken initiative before."

  "I'm graduating soon. It's time to step up and be more involved in the business."

  "What exactly are you proposing?"

  "I pick the charities and work with accounting to get the check out. I'll take care of all the details. You won't have to worry about it."

  "We need to make sure we get credit for the donation."

  "Absolutely."

  "And I want to approve the charities."

  "I won't learn if you take this over. You need to let me do this on my own, which means I pick the charities."

  "And what would those charities be?"

  "The local food bank. The homeless shelter. And the after-school program for kids."

  It's the same charities I was going to give to if I used my own money. I researched them a few days ago.

  "No," my father says. "I will not support organizations that give handouts to people who refuse to work or pay for their child's after school care."

  "This isn't about your personal beliefs. This is about expanding our client list. People involved in these charities tend to be younger, and we need younger clients. Our current clients are old and will be dead soon. We need younger people to invest with us and keep investing with us as they get older."

  "It's a valid point," he says, swirling the vodka in his glass. "Okay, fine, I will allow you to do this, but strictly as an experiment, and with a very limited budget."

  "I'm thinking ten grand for each charity."

  He laughs. "Absolutely not. Ten total, split three ways."

  "Deal." I get up and take my plate to the sink. "I'll send a note to accounting in the morning, telling them where to send the checks. I need to go study. See you tomorrow."

  "Actually, you won't. I have an event tomorrow. It's at a resort, and I'm planning to stay overnight and golf in the morning. I'll be home in the afternoon. Be prepared to go in the office when I get back."

  I smile to myself at his news. A whole night without him? I wish it was all weekend, but I'll take a night.

  Finally, something good happens. I get a whole night without my father and can use the company’s money to make the donation.

  On Friday, I'm feeling a sense of relief knowing I can keep the money I've saved and still meet the texter's demands. I emailed the accounting department this morning and they said they'd send out the money today. I just hope it's enough to buy us time. Finn and Parker not doing their part could ruin it for us.

  As I'm going down the hall, I see Ella and want to tell her the news but I'm not supposed to talk to her at school. I shouldn't be talking to her at all, and I definitely shouldn't be doing what I did to her at the warehouse parking lot the other night.

  When Ella asked me to get out of the car, I thought she wanted to talk. I didn't think she'd grab me and kiss me. She doesn't seem like someone who takes charge like that, especially with someone like me. I'm usually the one in control, so when she called me over and kissed me? Totally unexpected. And fucking hot. I wanted her so bad.

  I kept telling myself to leave, to get out of there before it went beyond a kiss, but I couldn't make myself go. We ended up in Ella's truck because it's bigger than my Porsche and doesn't have the center console in the way. I laid her down on the seat, slid off her shorts, then her panties, and devoured her. She was moaning, panting, and grinding against my tongue, making me so damn hard I almost burst through my jeans. After she came, I was going to take off, but she wouldn't let me. She went down on me. Ella Quinn went down on me. A few weeks ago, she wouldn't even get near me. Just the thought of touching me repulsed her. So I was beyond shocked when she undid my jeans and lowered down to my cock. And damn, the girl knew what she was doing. I don't know where she learned that. I didn't think she'd been out with many guys.

  I can't get that night out of my head. I keep replaying it, wanting to do it again, but knowing I shouldn't, not just because of our history, but because I want more. I want all of her. If Ella told me to stop, I would, but if she wanted to keep going, I don't think I could turn her down. My commitment to never take a girl's virginity could easily be broken if Ella tempted me to do it.

  "Briggs!" Scarlett yells, coming up beside me in the hall. Ella's just up ahead and looks back at me, and then Scarlett. "Did you hear Trailer Girl did it with one of the tech geeks?"

  Ella stops and turns around, calmly walking up to Scarlett. "People who make up stories only do it because their own lives are so damn boring that nobody wants to hear about them."

  Aubrey appears beside Scarlett. "I heard the same story. It was the skinny guy with the glasses. I bet he weighs less than you." Aubrey looks Ella up and down. "You might want to lay off the trailer food so you don't crush your boyfriend."

  "Go to hell," Ella says, turning and walking away.

  "Look!" Scarlett runs up behind Ella and yanks on the back of her shirt. She laughs. "Look at this stain!"

  There's a small, light-colored stain on Ella's shirt.

  Aubrey rushes up to her. "Oh my God, is that..."

  Aubrey and Scarlett look at each other, then burst out laughing.

  "He came on her shirt!" Aubrey says, loud enough for everyone to hear.

  People in the hall turn to look.

  "Let go of me!" Ella yells, which only makes Scarlett get an even tighter hold on her shirt.

  "He probably didn't know where to put it," Scarlett says, laughing.

  Three girls come up beside her. "What happened?"

  Scarlett points out the stain. "Look!"

  "One of the tech geeks came on Ella's shirt and she wore it to school!" Aubrey says.

  I can't watch this anymore. I know I'm supposed to treat Ella like nothing's changed, but it has changed, and I can't let them do this to her.

  "That's enough!" I say in a loud vo
ice, going up to Scarlett and yanking her hand from Ella's shirt.

  The hall quiets down as everyone stares at me, and then at Ella. She whips around. "All of you can fuck off!"

  "On your shirt?" Scarlett says, laughing. "Briggs, go ahead. She wants you to fuck her shirt."

  Ella turns and continues down the hall.

  "Just leave her alone," I say to Scarlett and Aubrey before walking off.

  "You're just mad you didn't see it first!" Scarlett yells.

  I glance back and see Aubrey watching me, looking at me with suspicion. I've never stuck up for Ella, or anyone here. It's not what I do. I'm usually the one doing shit like Scarlett just did, but today was different, and everyone noticed. But I couldn't just let it go. There was a part of me that wanted to, but I couldn't. I couldn't let them treat Ella that way.

  During lunch, I'm sitting at my table, not listening to whatever stupid story Finn is telling, when I get a text from Ella.

  You're still doing the chem assignment, right? It's due on Monday.

  I text back, Aren't we doing it together?"

  I did the last one, so you were going to do this one.

  I'd rather do it together. I send the text, then look over at Ella's table and catch her eye.

  She looks down at her phone.

  Another text pops up. When?

  I smile. Tonight at seven.

  This could be dangerous. Ella and me alone at the house? I'm getting hard just thinking about it. Shit. This is definitely dangerous.

  Parker kicks my foot under the table. "Is it him?"

  "Who? What are you talking about?"

  "The text you're looking at. Is it from him?" Parker leans over to me, lowering his voice. "You said you sent the money."

  "I did," I say, keeping my voice low. "But I need the confirmation from accounting to prove it. Once they send it, I'll text it to him."

  "Why are you fuckers whispering?" Finn asks, shoving his tray aside.

  "None of your fucking business," I tell him.

  "Did you tell him about tonight?" Parker asks Finn.

  "What about it?" I ask.

  "We're going to Aubrey's party," Finn says.

  Parker looks at me. "You gonna get pissed if we go?"

  I shrug. "I don't give a shit. You can fuck her, for all I care."