An Act of Hodd

by Nic Saint

  Her jaw dropped. “Dad?”

  “Great talk, hon,” he said, patting her shoulder. “Great talk.”

  She watched him hurry inside. What was going on here? Her parents never kept any secrets from her, so what was the big secret now? She only hoped that Aunt Bettina would have better luck with Uncle Achilles than she had with Dad. Because if she was to take over Bell’s one day, she needed to know all there was to know about the store, even the identity of the flour-covered skeletons in the pantry.

  Chapter 11

  Alice had pressed the bell twice already and still no one answered the door. She chewed her bottom lip nervously. If Uncle Mickey found out she’d allowed a customer to steal a gun—and ammo—there would be hell to pay. Her first instincts were to tell Dad, but she knew he would simply arrest Gardenia, his heavy-handed methods sometimes less than subtle. So she decided first to reason with the woman before going down that route.

  Crap, where could Gardenia have gone to? She remembered she worked downtown somewhere, for one of the law firms, but surely she would never take a gun to work, would she? She would take it home and put it away so her son couldn’t reach it. She wouldn’t carry it in her purse like a bauble.

  She stepped back from the front porch, and wondered how to go about this. She didn’t want to keep the store closed for too long, but she didn’t like the idea that Gardena was lugging a stolen gun around either.

  She decided to call in a favor from Virgil. Like her dad, he was a cop, of course, but he was also a friend, and if she asked him nicely, he might want to keep this incident under his hat. So she picked up her phone and dialed his number, and when the call went straight to voicemail, she was surprised.

  Usually Virgil picked up on the first ring and was always happy to hear from her. She tapped the phone against her chin. Now what? Then she saw there was no other option than to leave the matter to the Neighborhood Watch Committee, of which she was the fearless leader. She needed to call a meeting, and discuss this Gardenia Radcliffe affair with them.

  The committee consisted of herself, Fee, Fee’s aunt Bettina, Mabel Stokely and Virgil’s mother Marjorie. So for the next few minutes she busied herself calling the four other women and they all agreed to meet after work at Fee and Alice’s place, to discuss this new crisis that had unexpectedly arisen.

  Mabel, especially, was extremely concerned when she heard that Gardenia had gone straight from her house to the gun store and had talked about destroying all the vermin in her life. She’d told Mabel she’d been fired that morning, that her son was being bullied, and that her husband was made to work like a dog, for little pay, with all the credit going to his boss.

  “I think she’s going to shoot them all,” Mabel said, sounding shocked.

  “Shoot who?” Alice asked.

  “Shoot her boss, Roy’s boss and the kid who’s bullying Sam!”

  “Oh, dear God,” exclaimed Alice. “So that’s the vermin she was going to destroy! She said she wanted to look them in the eye when she pulled the trigger, so that they could see who their avenging angel was!”

  “This is not good, Alice. We need to put a stop to this right now, before she carries out this insane plan of hers!”

  “All right. Meeting. Right now,” she said, still reluctant to call in her dad. This was still only conjecture on Mabel’s part, and they had no real indication that Gardenia was crazy enough to carry out a plan like this. Still… “Do you think I should call my dad?”

  Mabel seemed to waver. “Let’s wait and see if we can’t resolve this ourselves,” she finally said. “Once we call your dad Gardenia is going to be in big, big trouble. Maybe even face jail time. And with all the trouble she’s already in, I don’t want to add to the pile and tip her right over the edge.”

  “If she’s not over the edge already.”

  She quickly mounted her bicycle—still the best way to get around town—and made her way back to the store. It was only one more hour until lunch, and what could possibly happen in one hour, right?

  And as she pedaled along, she happened to see Virgil’s patrol car parked by the side of the road. The vehicle was parked in front of a construction site on Lawford Street, but of the man himself there was no trace.

  Since she could use both a friend and a policeman right about now, she searched around, but as far as she could ascertain Virgil had left his post and desired not to be found. Then her eye was drawn to the construction site, and she quickly deduced that the man might be hiding behind the wooden fence, answering nature’s call. Reluctant to catch him in the act, she called out, “Virgil? Virgil, are you there?”

  When no response came, she quickly peered behind the fence. And it was then that she saw it. Virgil’s cap, lying forlornly on the ground, amid the dirt.

  Mh. Now that was odd. There was the man’s cap, but of the man himself there was no sign. So she walked over to the cap and picked it up. Yep, it was definitely Virgil’s. It even had his name stitched across the bill. Marjorie’s handiwork, she was sure. Marjorie probably sewed her son’s name in all his clothes, even his underwear. To what end, she didn’t know, for it was highly unlikely he would lose his shorts in the course of duty. Or his shirt.

  “Virgil!” she called out again, in case he was hiding in plain sight.

  But all remained quiet on the construction site front, and she had to admit defeat. And a mounting curiosity. The man’s car was here, his cap was here, so logically he would have to be here as well. So where was he?

  She glanced down at the spot where the cap had lain, but saw nothing of interest. Just some regular old dirt and rubble. So she shrugged and figured Virgil had stepped behind the fence to do his business, had lost his cap and had moved on. No doubt this sort of thing was commonplace in a cop’s life.

  Five minutes later she was back at Mick’s Pick, counting the seconds until closing time, and when finally the clock struck twelve, she quickly closed up shop and hurried home for the meeting. She just hoped that Reece’s actor buddy wouldn’t pick this moment to give them a demonstration of his tricks again. She loved the show, but right now they had other fish to fry.

  Chapter 12

  Gardenia eyed the kid malevolently. Randy Number. Bully Number One. Each time she picked Sam up from school, he’d pointed Randy out to her as the bully who was the bane of his existence. So she’d set up a meeting with the principal but apparently there wasn’t all that much the school could do.

  They had put Sam in a different class, but that hadn’t stopped Randy from picking on him during recess, and when the principal had organized a meeting with Traci and Shepherd Number, the bully’s parents, they had simply denied the whole thing and said Sam must be making it up. For their sweet, darling boy would never do a horrible thing like that. When she mentioned Sam often came home with a bloody nose or torn shirt or even worse, they had eyed her stony-faced, and straight out called her a liar.

  Well, good thing she had thirty bullets in that new toy of hers. One bullet for the bully, two for the bully’s parents and plenty more in case she missed the first time. If nobody believed her or Sam, it was time to take matters into her own hands and deal with the issue once and for all. She watched as Traci and Shepherd picked up their kid, and decided to follow them home. She was feeling a little overheated right now, but not too overheated not to realize that if she was going to shoot the Numbers she’d better do it with no one around.

  So she cruised behind the Numbers’ Toyota Prius, taking it nice and easy and making sure to leave two cars between them. The couple lived in the nice part of town, close to the beach, where the rich set lived, and she knew that Randy was their only kid. They might have a maid or a housekeeper, and if that was the case, she had a couple of bullets with their names on it as well.

  Then she remembered Alice Whitehouse might blab, so she decided to take care of her as well. And then there was Mabel Stokely, of course, who’d blab too. It pained her to admit it, but perhaps it would behoove her to put a bull
et into Mabel’s head, just to be on the safe side. She made a quick calculation in her own head, and saw she still had enough rounds left for the school principal, her horrible boss and Roy’s horrible boss. When the dust settled, nobody would ever mess with her again. Or with Roy or Sam.

  She followed the couple home, and saw them drive up the driveway of their colonial so she parked a little ways away across the street. The moment they disappeared indoors, she got out. She’d already loaded up the Kel-Tec and watched a YouTube video on her phone. It was pretty straightforward. Switch off the safety, which was ambidextrous, point and shoot.

  The gun was surprisingly light in her hand. It was practically all polymer, with only a few parts in steel, and felt like a toy gun. She patted the gun, now tucked away in her pocket, and strode up to the house and rang the bell.

  When nobody came to answer the door, she rang again, this time pressing her finger down until a harried-looking woman with florid face opened the door. “What do you want?!” she cried, her expressive eyes wide and fearful.

  Weird, Gardenia thought. She hadn’t even pulled out the gun and already this woman looked scared to death.

  “May I come in?” she asked, then added, “I have a message from my son.”

  “Now’s not a good time!” the woman cried, and made to close the door.

  No way, Gardenia thought. She hadn’t come this far to turn back now.

  So she shoved her foot in the door and pushed her way in. “Like I said, I have a message for Randy from my son Sam. Where is he?”

  The woman’s eyes widened even more. “He’s out back. With the man.”

  She frowned. “Man? What man?”

  “The man from space!” cried the woman, and then laughed hysterically. “He says he’s going to destroy our realm if we don’t do what he says!”

  “Look, I don’t care about some stupid man or some silly realm. I need to find Randy. Show me to him!” she said emphatically when the woman clutched at her own hair, seemingly about to go into hysterics.

  The housekeeper abruptly raised her hands over her head and turned around, then hurried along the hallway, Gardenia right on her heels. She took a right into the living room, then a left through the sliding glass doors and onto the terrace. And what she saw there disconcerted her so much that all thought of murder left her mind. In the backyard some big, giant disk was floating in the air, the Numbers standing huddled together, husband and wife clutching at each other while Randy clutched at his mother. In front of the giant metal disk, a man was standing, looking resplendent in gold lycra.

  He looked like that guy from The Lord of the Rings, the handsome one, Gardenia thought, and as she approached, he called out, “This is your final warning! If you don’t hand over the Ring of Hodd right now, I’m going to destroy this realm and all of its inhabitants.”

  “But we don’t even know Felicity Bell!” Traci cried feebly, on the verge of tears.

  “Well, we do know her, in a vague sort of way. She’s our baker,” Shepherd said, but when his wife eyed him furiously, he quickly added, “No, we don’t know her. No idea who she is, buddy boy.”

  To Gardenia’s satisfaction she saw that Randy was quaking in his boots—if he were wearing boots, that is. Not such a big bully now, she thought, and wished her son Sam was here to see this.

  “Don’t lie to me! I know you know Felicity Bell! A Bell’s bread bag was lying on your front porch, and the Bell’s Bakery van pulled away from the curb just as I flew over your house. I have appealed to both women!” he thundered, his voice surprisingly powerful. “And they have decided to thwart me by foisting fake rings on me! I have even appealed to their lover, Virgil Scattering, who is currently suffering the consequences of his opposition in the Allard dungeons. Now I’m appealing to you, their accomplices. Where is the Ring of Hodd, for this ring is not the one!” He held up a ring that looked like a Hello Kitty ring, Gardenia thought. She’d once had one just like it.

  Only now did the man in gold seem to realize they’d been joined by another party. “You!” he boomed, pointing the ring at Gardenia. “Are you one of Felicity Bell’s accomplices?”

  “Well, I know Fee,” she said with a shrug. “And I know Alice from the gun store.” She felt the gun pressing against her thigh as she said this.

  “Then you know where the ring is!” he roared.

  “Sorry, I don’t,” she said, some of her customary meekness returning. Authority figures always intimidated her, and none more than this fellow.

  His eyes narrowed into thin slits. “Do you dare to thwart me?”

  “Well, I don’t know anything about any rings,” she said, lifting her hands helplessly. She stared at Randy now, and saw that the kid was crying and whimpering, his face contorted into an expression of extreme fear and anxiety. It was actually hard to imagine he was her son’s tormentor now.

  “Since you have collectively decided to thwart me, you will all suffer the consequences,” the spaceman growled, and suddenly, as Gardenia watched, she saw that the nice paved terrace floor opened up beneath the Numbers, and then the ground simply swallowed them up! One minute they were standing there, and the next… they were gone! It was the darndest thing.

  “You!” said the spaceman, pointing a finger at Gardenia. “I will give you a second chance. For I can see that you have a noble and pure heart.”

  “Tha-thank you,” she said, and darted a quick look back at the housekeeper… who was no longer there. Nor could she blame her.

  “You want vengeance for what has been done to you and your loved ones,” the spaceman now said, and quite surprisingly so, she felt.

  “How-how do you know about that?”

  “I know all, Gardenia Radcliffe.”

  Whether this was true remained to be seen, as he didn’t know where his ring was. But this was not something she was going to point out right now.

  “If you help me find the ring, I’ll help you exact revenge on those who’ve caused you pain.” He pointed at the spot where the Numbers had been before the ground had swallowed them up. “They will spend the remainder of their lives in the Allard dungeons, and will soon die of hunger and thirst. Is that enough vengeance for you?”

  She licked her lips, the prospect of Randy and his parents dying of hunger and thirst not as appealing as murdering them herself, but better than letting them off the hook, so she said, “Yes, that sure sounds good to me.”

  He smiled and raised his hands as he approached. “You are a woman after my own heart, Gardenia Radcliffe. If you will be my emissary in this world, and help me navigate its many dangers, you will receive your just reward.”

  “Thanks, I guess,” she said, feeling mildly grateful to this stranger. He seemed to know of her plight, and sympathized with it, which was good enough for her. “So what do you want me to do?”

  “Go to the house of Felicity Bell and get the Ring of Hodd from her,” he snarled, balling his hand into a fist and shaking it at the heavens. “And if she doesn’t comply, use any means necessary to make her. Tell her I have her lover Virgil Scattering and he will die if she doesn’t give me back the ring.”

  “How can you be so sure she’s got it?”

  He smiled a smug little smile, his blue eyes flashing. “Oh, she has it, all right. She’s had it in her possession for a long time now. A very long time.”

  She shrugged. None of her business, she felt. “All right. I’ll do it.”

  He thrust out a hand. “We have an agreement then, Gardenia Radcliffe. A bond that unites us.” He nodded seriously. “I will wait to destroy this realm until you have fulfilled your sacred oath and have fetched the ring for me.”

  “Wait, if you have this ring you will still destroy this place?”

  “Of course. I need to set an example. Make sure this sort of thing never happens again.” He eyed her closely. “I’m sure you understand.”

  Well, oddly enough she did. Setting an example was exactly the reason she was here in the first place. And then sh
e thought there wasn’t all that much in this world left for her. Apart from Roy and Sam, of course. “What will happen to us if this world is destroyed? To me and my family?”

  “I will take you and your loved ones to Allard, where you will live out the remainder of your lives in the highest luxury you can imagine. You will live like a queen and your spouse and son will live like kings.”

  That sounded pretty good to her, so she said, “All right. Let’s do this.”

  He grunted his approval. “Well spoken. You’ve made the right choice. Now go forth, hurry along on winged feet, and fetch me the Ring of Hodd.”

  Chapter 13

  There was a lull in the conversation. Alice had just told the others how Gardenia had managed to sneak a gun right from under her nose when she’d least expected it, and Mabel had told them the story of Gardenia’s lament. The two stories put together were ominous to a degree, and Fee, for one, wasn’t too sure Gardenia wasn’t going to use that gun to put things right.

  It was obviously not a great state of affairs, and if she used the gun Alice had sold her there would be hell to pay, both for Alice and Uncle Mickey.

  “We need to find Gardenia and stop her,” Fee stated the obvious, and the others seemed inclined to agree.

  “The first place she would go would probably be the Numbers,” opined Mabel. “She seemed to feel very strongly that Randy Number had ruined Sam’s life. My best guess is she’s going to take matters into her own hands and mete out punishment personally.” Mabel seemed abhorred that she hadn’t seen this coming, and for once she was not her usual forceful self.

  Bettina was of the same opinion. “Why don’t we simply spread out and cover all our bases? Mabel, you could go over to the Numbers and see if you can’t catch Gardenia before she arrives. And if she’s not there you can at least warn Traci and Shepherd not to let her in. I could go over to her old office and warn her boss. And you, Marjorie, could do the same about Roy’s boss.”