Tom Bites Back

by Steven Banks

  I could have killed him.

  “Make sure he gets into his house,” said Coach. “You’re responsible for him, Lucas.”

  “Gotcha, Coach! No worries. I am on it.”

  I got in the back seat with Tanner Gantt.

  39.

  Taco! Taco!

  It was weird to be sitting next to Tanner Gantt. We were pretty close to each other because it’s a small car and he’s big.

  “What’s your friend’s name, Tom?” asked Carrot Boy.

  “He’s not— His name’s Tanner Gantt.”

  “Hey, Tanner. I’m Lucas.”

  Tanner Gantt didn’t say anything.

  “Where do you live, Tanner?” asked Emma impatiently.

  “Three-five-zero-zero North Isabel,” he mumbled. “By the park.”

  Emma put the address in her phone to find it. “Let’s go, Lukey.”

  “Seat belts on, dudes,” he said. “Prepare for hyperspace.”

  We drove out of the parking lot at, like, five miles an hour.

  Carrot Boy looked at me in the rearview mirror.

  “So, Tom? Did you use any of the sweet dance moves I showed you, before they kicked you out?”

  “Uh…a few;” I lied.

  “You didn’t try the Lucas Lockdown, did you?”

  “No way.” That was the truth.

  All of a sudden, I got zombie-hungry. I hadn’t had a chance to get pizza at the dance. “Emma, I need to get some food.”

  “We are so not stopping for food,” she said.

  “I’m kinda hungry too,” said Carrot Boy.

  “I am not hungry at all,” said Emma.

  I pointed my arm in between their seats.

  “Look, there’s a Taco! Taco! in the next block.”

  “I love Taco! Taco!” said Carrot Boy.

  “I hate Taco! Taco!” said Emma. “Can’t you wait, Tom?”

  “No, I gotta eat something right now.” Tanner Gantt looked worried. I think he thought I was going to eat him.

  “We’ll be home in ten minutes!” said Emma.

  “I’m really hungry, Emma.”

  Tanner Gantt moved as far away from me as he could, leaning against the door.

  * * *

  We went to the Taco! Taco! drive-through and ate in the car. I got three carne asada tacos. Carrot Boy got a burrito, which Emma fed to him as he drove. That was kind of gross. Emma got nachos, even though she “wasn’t hungry at all.” Tanner Gantt didn’t get anything, even when Carrot Boy offered to pay. He just stared out the window.

  When we pulled up in front of his house, the lights were on and loud music was blaring from inside. There were a lot of cars and some motorcycles parked on the street.

  “Looks like it’s party time at Gantt Manor,” said Carrot Boy.

  That was weird. Coach had called his mom a million times and nobody answered. Tanner Gantt got out of the car.

  “Later, Tanner Dude,” said Carrot Boy.

  We watched him walk up to the house.

  “Oh my God! He didn’t even say ‘thank you.’ ” Emma leaned her head out the window and yelled, “You’re welcome!”

  Tanner Gantt didn’t say anything or turn around. He knocked on his front door. Why didn’t he have a key?

  “Let’s go, Lukey,” said Emma.

  Tanner Gantt turned around to look at us. You could tell he wanted us to leave.

  “We can go,” I said from the back seat.

  “No, we gotta make sure he gets inside,” said Carrot Boy. “I don’t want Coach Tinoco going all Roman gladiator on me.”

  Tanner Gantt kept knocking on the door. He turned around to look at us again.

  “You can go!” he yelled.

  “Not till you get in, dude!” Carrot Boy yelled back.

  The door finally opened and his mom was standing there. She has long blond hair and wears a lot of makeup and dresses like she’s in high school. I could hear them talking because of my Vam-Wolf-Zom ears.

  “What are you doing here?” she said. She didn’t sound happy.

  “The dance ended early,” he mumbled.

  “Why?”

  “I dunno.”

  “Did you get in trouble? What’d you do this time?”

  “I didn’t do anything! Let me in.”

  She looked over his shoulder at Carrot Boy’s car. “Who brought you home?”

  “A kid from school called his sister.”

  “Well, go spend the night at your friend’s house.”

  “He’s not my friend.”

  She came out of the house and dragged him with her, down to the car. She was smiling and talked in a fake nice voice.

  “Hey, guys! What’s up? I’m Tanner’s mom. But y’all can call me Brandi.”

  “Hi. I’m Lucas, this is Emma, and her brother, Tom.”

  “Awesome! Great to meet you! Tanner never brings any of his friends over. Hey, Tom, can Tanner spend the night at your house?”

  That was The Worst Idea in the History of the World.

  “Sorry, Brandi,” said Emma, using her fake nice voice. “He can’t tonight. My mother’s sick. She has this really contagious, infectious disease.”

  For once I was glad that Emma was The Queen of Liars.

  “She does?” asked Carrot Boy.

  Mrs. Gantt looked at me in the back seat. “Did Tanner get in trouble at the dance?”

  I should have said yes, but for some reason I said no. I think I just wanted to get out of there.

  Mrs. Gantt’s eyes got super wide.

  “Oh my God! You’re the Vam-Wolf-Zom kid! Tanner, why didn’t you tell me he was your friend?” She leaned into my window. “I am so sorry; I didn’t recognize you. I saw you on TV. You are such a brave little guy! Can you turn into a bat and fly?”

  “No, ma’am, I can’t,” I said.

  “And polite too!” She shoved Tanner Gantt in the shoulder. “Why aren’t you polite like that?” She turned back at me. “Hey, I got a great idea! You guys all want to come in to the party? There are some friends of mine who would love to meet you.”

  I knew she just wanted to show me off to her friends.

  “Sorry, Brandi,” said Emma. “We just picked up some special pills for my mother and if she doesn’t take them in, like, fifteen minutes, she’ll die. Bye! Let’s go, Lukey!”

  As we drove away, I looked out the back window. Mrs. Gantt yelled at Tanner Gantt and then she went back in the house. He walked across the street to the park and sat down on the swings. I felt a little bit sorry for him. But not too sorry.

  40.

  All Hallow’s Eve

  On Halloween night, even though I had told Zeke a million times he couldn’t wear it, he showed up in his Randee Rabbit costume.

  Sort of.

  He had put a hockey mask on over the rabbit head and he was carrying a plastic bloody machete in one hand and an Easter basket with a chopped-off head in the other. I have to admit, it looked pretty good.

  “See, T-Man, I’m not Randee Rabbit! I’m the Evil Easter Bunny, like Bus Lady said.”

  He held up the bloody machete and made a noise that was supposed to be an evil rabbit growling. It sounded like he was gargling. He should go on YouTube and find a video that teaches you how to do sound effects.

  “Zeke, it’s still too close to Randee Rabbit. People will know it’s you and so they’ll know it’s me with you. This is the only night of the whole year that I don’t have to be a Vam-Wolf-Zom.”

  I made him wear an old skull mask and black hood I had. He was disappointed at first, but got over it and started making what he called “Mr. Skull Man Noises.” It sounded like he was yodeling.

  I put on the Creepy Clown costume. The box said “Medium,” but it was a “Small.” It was super tight on
me and the arms and legs were too short, but I didn’t have anything else to wear.

  * * *

  We started trick-or-treating as soon as it got dark. It seemed like a lot of people were dressed up as vampires and werewolves and zombies this year. Or maybe I noticed it more because I was a Vam-Wolf-Zom.

  We passed a tall girl dressed as a nurse covered in blood. I got a little thirsty. Luckily, Mom had some raw liver in the fridge for when I got home.

  Down the block, we saw Dog Hots and Elliot Freidman, from Art class. I wanted to see if they’d recognize me. I made Zeke hide behind a bush, so he wouldn’t accidentally say something.

  I walked up to them.

  “Hey, you guys,” I said, making my voice sound higher.

  Dog Hots laughed. “You got a funny voice, kid.”

  “Uh, yeah, I got a cold.”

  “And you got the wrong-sized costume on too.”

  “I know. My mom put it in the dryer and it shrunk. That’s an awesome Frankenstein costume.”

  I didn’t say “Frankenstein’s monster,” because nobody ever does and Dog Hots might know it was me.

  “Hey, does that Vam-Wolf-Zom kid live around here?” I asked.

  “Tom Marks?” said Elliot. “Yeah, he does.”

  Elliot was dressed as the Where’s Waldo guy, which was a good costume for him because he could wear his glasses.

  “Do you know him?” I asked.

  “Yeah. We go to school with him,” said Elliot. “He drew my picture in Art class.”

  “What’s he like?”

  Dog Hots shrugged. “He’s okay, I guess.”

  Okay? That was it? I was just “okay”?

  “I heard he can do cool stuff,” I said. “Like, he’s really strong and fast and has super hearing and night vision.”

  “Yeah, but he can’t turn into a bat and fly,” said Dog Hots.

  Why did EVERYONE want me to turn into a bat and fly?!

  “C’mon, let’s go,” said Elliot, and they walked away.

  They didn’t know who I was.

  This was going to work!

  41.

  Dumbness

  Zeke and I got a lot of candy, but some people gave out weird stuff.

  WEIRD STUFF THAT PEOPLE GAVE OUT ON HALLOWEEN

  1. Breath mints: I told the people that technically those weren’t candy. They said, “Take it or leave it, kid.” I took it. I’ll give it to Emma.

  2. A comic book called “The Real Truth About Halloween!”: It was pretty boring except for the cover, which had a devil eating two kids dressed as ghosts.

  3. A bag of Cheetos: Tanner Gantt would love that house, if he went trick-or-treating.

  4. Hot Sauce Packets from Taco! Taco!: They had run out of candy and felt like they had to give us something. Zeke ate his and coughed for about five minutes.

  5. A toothbrush: The people giving those out thought it was hilarious. I didn’t.

  * * *

  We’d just left a house that gave us black licorice (yuck) when two high-schoolers came up to us. One was dressed as Wonder Woman, although she had blond hair, when she should have black hair. The other was Groot, the talking tree, from Guardians of the Galaxy.

  “Does that Vam-Wolf-Zom kid live around here?” asked Wonder Woman.

  “Yeah!” said Zeke. “And he’s really awesome. He’s like the coolest person I know.”

  “Are you the president of his fan club?” said Wonder Woman, and then she laughed like it was the world’s greatest joke.

  Zeke’s eyes lit up. “No, I’m not…. But he should have a fan club! Excellent idea!”

  “We want to get a selfie with him,” said Groot.

  “You can’t do that,” I said.

  “Why? Is he stuck-up or something?”

  “No,” I said. “He doesn’t show up in pictures because he’s a vampire.”

  “Can he turn into a bat and fly?” asked Groot.

  “No,” I said for the millionth time.

  Groot laughed. “That’s dumb.”

  “Yeah?” I said. “Well, you know what else is dumb? When you dress up as Groot you’re only supposed to say, ‘I am Groot.’ ”

  “Oh yeah?” said Wonder Woman. “What’s really dumb is when you wear a clown costume that’s two sizes too small!”

  “You know what’s even dumber than that?” I said. “A Wonder Woman with blond hair!”

  She called me a lot of nasty words as they walked off.

  * * *

  Since Zeke didn’t have to explain to everybody who Randee Rabbit was, we went to so many more houses and got our best candy haul ever. Our pillowcases were practically full. We took a shortcut back to my house, but we shouldn’t have. Just like Martha Livingston shouldn’t have taken that shortcut through that dark alley.

  42.

  The Shortcut

  We were on a block we don’t usually go to. There weren’t any kids trick-or-treating because most of the houses didn’t have their lights on. That means the people who live there ran out of candy or they hate Halloween and don’t want kids banging on their door.

  There was a big teenager, in a greasy T-shirt, working on a motorcycle in a driveway. An even bigger teenager came out of the garage, flipping a wrench up and down in his hand, as we walked by.

  “Hey, Skull Face,” said Big Teenager. “Cool costume.”

  “Thanks,” said Zeke.

  “Come here, kid. I wanna check it out.”

  “Don’t, Zeke,” I whispered.

  It was too late. Zeke was walking up the driveway. They didn’t look like the kind of teenagers interested in some kid’s costume.

  “You got a lot of candy,” said Big Teenager.

  “We did!” said Zeke. “Twice as much as last year.”

  “That’s cool. Hey, we didn’t have time to go trick-or-treating, can we have a piece?”

  “Sure,” said Zeke, opening his bag.

  I knew he’d do that because he’s generous. And he trusts everybody. I have to remind him not to do that.

  Zeke looked down in his bag.

  “What would you like? I got Butterfinger, Snickers, Twix, um, breath mints, Kit Kat, Nerds, Sour Patch…licorice…Skittles.”

  “Gee, I can’t decide,” said Big Teenager. “I guess I’ll have to take the whole bag.”

  He grabbed Zeke’s bag and laughed.

  “Hey! What are you doing?” said Zeke.

  Bigger Teenager turned to me.

  “Give me your bag, Clown Boy.”

  We had walked a long way and worked hard to get all that candy. I was not going to give it to these guys.

  “No,” I said.

  Bigger Teenager started walking toward me. Now, if I wasn’t a Vam-Wolf-Zom I would have given it to him. Since I can run super fast, I knew I could get away from these guys, but I also knew Zeke couldn’t.

  Bigger Teenager tried to grab my bag. I pulled it away and put it behind my back. He looked surprised at how fast I moved.

  “Give me the bag, kid!”

  “No. And give my friend back his candy,” I said.

  Bigger Teenager laughed. “Who’s gonna make me?”

  Zeke said, “You don’t wanna mess with him, you guys.”

  “We don’t?” said Big Teenager. “Why not, Clown Boy?”

  “Because he’s a—”

  “Shh,” I said to Zeke.

  I moved over to the motorcycle and lifted it off the ground with one hand. The teenagers seemed surprised that a kid in a too-small clown costume could do that.

  “What the—?!” said Big Teenager.

  “Put it down, kid!” said Bigger Teenager.

  The motorcycle felt like it weighed nothing. I could have held it up all night.

  “Okay,” I said. “Here�
��s what we’re going to do…. You’re going to give my friend back his bag of candy. Then we’re going to leave. If you don’t give his bag back, by the count of three, I’m going to throw your motorcycle into the street. One…”

  “Don’t!” said Bigger Teenager.

  “Two…”

  I raised the motorcycle up over my head.

  “Holy—!”

  Big Teenager tossed the bag at Zeke. Some of the candy spilled out.

  “Pick it up,” I said.

  Both of the teenagers picked up the candy, put it in the bag, and gave it to Zeke. I still wanted to throw the motorcycle in the street, but they’d probably sue me and I’d have to buy a new one, so I put it down.

  Bigger Teenager said, “Who are you?”

  “Me? I’m just a clown.”

  * * *

  Zeke wanted to go to one more house, the one with a monster maze in the backyard. But it’s just little kids in masks jumping out at you in the dark and screaming. And with my night vision I’d be able to see where they were hiding.

  So, I left him there and started walking home by myself. I was going to have some candy, a little raw liver, and watch an old, scary movie that Gram recommended called Carnival of Souls.

  I was walking toward the park. It was empty, because they close it off on Halloween night so people don’t go in and wreck stuff. On the corner, I saw Tanner Gantt in his “This Is My Costume” T-shirt, talking to a girl dressed up as a vampire. He was laughing and smiling, which he usually doesn’t do unless he’s just thrown you in a trash can. I figured he was going to take her candy, but she didn’t have a bag.

  I didn’t want to deal with Tanner Gantt tonight. As I turned around to go the other way, I heard the girl laugh.