Hatred Day

by T S Pettibone

  Then one day I left the room forever.

  I’d been drawing a picture of a snow-ferrier beast for Ghost when the door opened. I was so afraid, I dropped my pencil. The man with the silver eyes picked me up and carried me down a passage for a long time. He didn’t talk to me or look at me, only held me in one arm, and kept the other one behind his back. I tried tickling his chin, but he didn’t smile. He had a big black Mohawk on his head and I touched it to see if it was sharp. It was poky and soft. When he didn’t talk to me, I told him about my friend Ghost. He stayed quiet. I fell asleep on his shoulder.

  When I woke up, he was setting me down before a metal transport. I’d seen a picture of one in a book and knew the guns on the side were dangerous. The door in the transport opened and I moved back when a young man with short black hair came out, smiling at me. He was handsome like the highborns in the books I read, but his brown eyes were slanted funny, and he didn’t wear armor. He crouched in front of me, and said, “I’ve waited to meet you a long time, Snofrid. My name is Ryuki Yagami and I’m going to take you to a new home.”

  I was afraid and hid behind the silver-eyed man’s leg. No one had ever spoken to me before—except for the raspy-voiced man behind the wall, who taught me about Inborn etiquette, and how to read and speak English and my Mystish language, Prenax. I didn’t want to go to a new home. I liked my room. I liked my books and my beryl barb chest, and I didn’t want to leave Ghost. The silver-eyed man picked me up and put me inside the transport. Then, for the very first time, he talked to me, and said, “Daringly dared, half of it won, Snofrid.”

  I didn’t know what these words meant. I wanted to ask him, but he’d already put his back to me was talking to Ryuki in a language I didn’t understand.

  There was a little boy with golden brown eyes sitting in the back seat eating dried leaves. It was the first time I’d seen a person as small as me before. I wanted him to like me, but I was too afraid to sit close to him, so after I greeted him saying, “Saldut debokter,” I sat behind him. He stared over his seat with wide eyes, and said, “Stone me! You look just like my Aunt Lorna.” His voice was loud, and I didn’t know how to answer, so I just nodded. The boy talked a lot more after that and I listened. He told me his name was Desya, and that we were going to live in a place called Hollowstone City, and that Ryuki was a good dad, and that we’d never have to be afraid with him, even though we were shamed. I didn’t know what he was talking about really, but after a while, I started saying things back.

  We drove through the passage for a long, long time. When I first saw the sunlight, it happened so fast that I screamed. It was the brightest light I’d ever seen. It was brighter than all my candles and lamps, and it burned my eyes. Desya gave me a pair of black goggles. As soon as I put them on, I was able to see the mountains, the trees, and the flowers. I thought of Ghost right away and was sad I couldn’t tell it how happy I was.

  Age 4-6

  Hollowstone City, Borough of Eastwick

  Desya had told the truth about Ryuki. He was a good dad and I was happy he was the one who’d come for me that day.

  We lived in a fancy, Japanese-style house on Quintree Quay. It was only a mile from the Hollowstone Zoo, so Ryuki took Desya and me there every time we asked to pet the animals and run through the poison maze. Our house was very different from my old room. Lots of plants grew inside and the doors slid open instead of swinging. After a few months, I got used to the things Ryuki and Desya did, like wearing house slippers on the tatami mats, sleeping on low beds, doing meditations, and eating with chopsticks. But it only took me a few days to become best friends with Desya. He was a Hematic, so he was fast. He knew how to swim all the way to the bottom of the pool; he wasn’t afraid of the dark; he always shared his toys with me, and if I was scared at night, he’d let me sleep in his bed.

  I’d lived in the house for almost a year before Ryuki said he wanted me to be smart and enrolled me in preschool. When I told him I already knew how to read, he said, “Nou aru taka wa tsume wo kakusu. The hawk with talent hides its talons.” He didn’t want me to be proud, but sometimes it was hard, because I knew more than the human children in my class. I wanted to make him happy so I pretended to need help from my teacher, even when I didn’t.

  I always kept my Halo hidden. I knew my classmates would tell on me if they found out I was an Inborn, so I didn’t sleep over at girls’ houses. Ryuki didn’t have humans over to our house either. When I asked Desya why Ryuki didn’t have human friends, he told me, “Dad had bad deals with the Hollowstone Trojan Mortals. Now they won’t let him in their club.” He didn’t tell me what the bad deals were, but said it had something to do with Ryuki and his gambling. I didn’t know what that meant.

  I thought about Ghost every night before I went to sleep.

  Sometimes when the floor would creak, I’d think it was watching me and tell it things. I told it how much I loved Ryuki and Desya; I told it that I missed it; I told it that I was learning to speak Japanese and that I’d be a Beast Specialist when I grew up. I even told it about Mandek Skala—a big Polish boy who lived in the house above us. He wasn’t nice. He didn’t like me because I laughed when I found out he was afraid of dogs. After that, he started calling me maggot, and the other children did too. I was smaller than all the children on my street, but no matter how much I ate, I stayed skinny and short. Everyone on the street liked Mandek because he was a leader. He told all the children not to talk to me, so I didn’t have any friends except for Desya.

  Mandek and his friends only called me names at first. But after a while they started to hurt me. It was small things at the beginning, like twisting my wrist, pushing my face in the snow and stealing my gasmask. Whenever they stole my gasmask, I got really scared because I thought I’d get rashes on my body from breathing the bad air, but I still didn’t tell Ryuki. I didn’t want to be a snitch.

  But then it got worse.

  Mandek broke one of my ribs with his fist. He made me eat dog poo, and once, he told his friend, Gunther, to throw a rock at me. Gunther threw it so hard, I went to sleep. When I woke up, I was in my bed and Ryuki was screaming at Mandek’s father. Desya had carried me inside, so no one would see the cut heal. Even though Ryuki yelled at Mr. Skala, Mandek never got in trouble. Desya told me it was because his father was a Bluecoat Captain, but I didn’t see how that was fair. I wanted Mandek to be punished.

  Ryuki didn’t get mad a lot, but when he did, it was scary. I’d never seen him so scary as the day he yelled at Mr. Skala. Desya started walking me home from school every day to keep me safe; Ryuki couldn’t do it because he had to work. Mandek stayed away for a while, but I knew he’d come back.

  A month after he’d cracked my skull, his friends cut us off at the end of Quintree Quay. It was the most dangerous street because it was close to the alleys. There were six boys with Mandek and they all had metal bats.

  “You think you can tell on me and get away with it?” Mandek hissed at me, twirling his bat around his hand. “Well, you can’t, little maggot.”

  I knew what would happen, but still, I held tight to Desya’s hand and tried to run. Ryuki had always told us never to use our abilities in public. I wished Desya hadn’t listened. When he yelled for me to run home, they hit his face and I saw blood come out of his mouth. His eyes got big, like he was surprised, before he fell on the ground. As I heard the bats cracking his bones, and his cries, I became madder than I’d ever been in my life. My body got so hot it felt like fire, and my eyes went blurry. I jumped on Mandek and bit his neck as hard as I could. He screamed and swung his bat, his face scarier than any monster I’d seen in my books. He ripped out my hair, squealing bad words, and then beat my ribs with the bat. Even though I cried, he didn’t stop. I’d never felt so much pain as I did then. When everything turned red and black, I thought I was going to die.

  But instead, I woke up. I was fine—I had healed.

  Desya’s face was puffy and bloody, his arm was bent, and his breath sounded r
aspy. I was so afraid I ran all the way to Ryuki’s office downtown and told him. He drove Desya to a young Inborn doctor who lived in a tower named Neko Aberthol. The doctor told Ryuki, “Your son has a physeal arm fracture and fractures on his seventh and ninth ribs. Most Hematics earn these types of injuries through their wild lifestyle, so there’s no need to worry, but I still recommend he stays here for a few days.”

  I felt better after that.

  Three days later, Ryuki came home with important news. I’d been drawing a picture of a warrior troll for Desya in the washitsu when I smelled Ginjo Sake; Ryuki’s brown leather jacket always smelled of Sake. After he picked me up and held me, he said, “I was able to get ahold of your uncle and we made some changes. Traditionally highborns get their Shadow, which is a protector, when they turn ten, but you’re going to get yours now, Sno. His name is Lycidius Heidrun. He’s a Lambent Necromancer and he’s served as a Dracuslayer for five years.”

  I smiled because I was happy about this news. It meant Desya and I wouldn’t ever be hurt again and that I’d have my own warrior friend, who was also a student of the fire element. Shamed highborns weren’t supposed to get Shadows, or even be recognized by Inbornkind. That’s why Ryuki told me my Inborn uncle was doing it in secret. Then he told me my Shadow was flying from Norway and would be here Friday. I wanted my Shadow to be here now, but decided I could wait five days, and started drawing pictures of what I thought my warrior would look like.

  Soon after, the men who always yelled at Ryuki came through the antechamber with guns. I hid under the futons, as I did whenever they showed up. The men got mad at Ryuki about money and even though I hated it, I stayed in my hiding place; Ryuki would be upset if I came out. After they left, Ryuki took me out of the house to the zoo, where I told him that I wanted to move away. He shook his head, and said, “We can’t leave Hollowstone, honey.” Then he held my hand and told me, “But I swear, I’ll always protect you, Sno.”

  I saw that he was sad, so I asked him, “Are we not allowed to leave because of the debt men?”

  “No. Those men have nothing to do with it.” He rubbed my back, the same way he’d done the first nights I was here when I’d cried, and said, “Suki dayo”, which is in English, “I love you.”

  I didn’t go to preschool for the rest of the week. I went with Ryuki to his government job and played in the office playpen with human babies and toddlers. We visited Desya at Neko’s tower every day and each time, I brought him a new drawing and a box of daifuku—sweet rice cake. By the time Friday came, I’d already told Ghost all about my Shadow: that he was nine years old, that he was a powerful Lambent Necromancer, and that he’d fought in the Inhuman War under a famous Skinwalker Commander. I also told Ghost that I wanted him to be nice, handsome like a highborn, a fast runner, and a strong fighter.

  He turned out to be three of these things.

  The day I met Lycidius, I wore the blue floral kimono that Ryuki had given me for my fifth nameday, with a headdress I’d made from silk sakura flowers and a pink obi-belt. He’d flown to Hollowstone on a Doubloon Raider vessel, so we met him at an illegal port in the Hollowstone Underground. We waited for a long time before I finally saw a tall boy with red hair wearing the traditional button cassock of Inborn men. He had black beast-fur on his shoulders and carried a leather rucksack and a weapon case. He looked strong and his face was handsome, but he only knew how to frown and his eyes scared me. Especially the dark, cloudy one; I thought it wanted to hurt me.

  To follow Shadow traditions, we greeted each other alone. I bowed to him, in the way Japanese humans did when they greeted each other and then gave him the Inborn salute.

  Lycidius just grunted and chewed the barbell in his tongue; a lot of Inborn rulers and warriors had them because the barbells reminded them not to talk without thinking. He said to me, “Because you’re a halfbreed, I’m your enemy. I’ll protect you according to our Law, but I won’t ever like or accept what you are.”

  I was hurt he was so mean. I glared at him and told him, “I’m still a highborn and you’ll listen to whatever I say, Shadow.”

  That night we sealed a Covenant Spell where Lycidius promised to use his life to protect me.

  At night, he slept on a futon in my room and I’d see his dark eye peeking at me after he fell asleep. I hated his dark eye and, after two weeks, I knew it hated me too.

  Lycidius walked me to and from preschool every day, but the only things he’d talk about were his adopted Skinwalker brother and the Inhuman War. And he never held my hand like Desya had. When I asked him why, he just said, “Shadows don’t touch the body they protect.”

  I still talked to Ghost every night. One night in autumn, Lycidius asked me who I was talking to and I told him, “I’m talking to my best friend. And it’s not you.” He kept asking me for weeks and I got tired of it, so I told him about the room I used to live in and about the person behind the wall. But I only told him this because I wanted him to tell me about the invisible person he was always talking to. It didn’t work. Lycidius got mad and told me I was nosy. He slept in the washitsu for three weeks after that.

  I was so happy the day Desya finally left Neko’s tower. I made up a futon in his room so I could read him books at night and so we could play shadow puppets. Lycidius would peek through a crack in the door at times, and I always told him, “Go away, Shadow. This room is only for friends.”

  At first, Lycidius ignored Desya because his parents were traitors; but then, after a few months, he started talking to Desya without saying mean things. I knew Desya liked him because he thought Dracuslayers were awesome and because he’d always wanted to be a soldier. But the war didn’t hurt us here. I’d hear students and teachers talk about the war at school sometimes, but no one ever got bothered over it. Only Lycidius did. He wanted to go back to his unit and be a Dracuslayer again, and I knew it was the biggest reason he didn’t like me. Ryuki told me that the only way to make Lycidius stop being mean was to be nice to him. I tried doing it for a long time. I let him have the last of the rice balls at dinner; I gave him my fuzzy sakura-print blanket when it was cold; I shared my candy and my books with him; and I even tried not to get mad at him when he was mean. But even after this, he wouldn’t be nice. I didn’t care after a while. He was a bully, just like Mandek Skala.

  Mandek figured this out too and stayed away from me for almost three months. When I’d walk home from school, he’d stare at me from his window, or he’d hide in the alleys with his friends and watch me. I knew he’d try to hurt me again.

  He shouldn’t have tried.

  Lycidius and I were in the poison maze at the zoo, arguing over the proper uses of phasgora thistles and creeping sprouts, when Mandek and four of his friends surrounded us. I tried to run, but Lycidius grabbed my hand and made me stay. I was more scared than I’d ever been because this time, Mandek had a knife.

  “I’ve been watching you, maggot,” he told me, holding the knife at Lycidius’s throat. “And your new boyfriend needs to know who the law is in this neighborhood.” He tapped the knife on Lycidius’s neck. “Come on, Ginger. Squeal and maybe I’ll let you run back to your daddy.”

  I’d never seen anyone move as fast as Lycidius did then.

  He locked Mandek’s wrist and punched him in the neck. He grabbed his shoulder, kneed him in the privates, kicked his face, and then yanked the knife out of his hand. Mandek was screaming so loud I cupped my ears. When the other four boys saw what Lycidius had done, they ran away. I thought Lycidius would leave with me right then, but he didn’t. He grabbed Mandek’s hand and forced it through the security fence, under a poky black plant. Then he said, “This is a Death Tassel. They digest the flesh of small rodents; its why cannibal worms build their nests in the leaves.”

  At first, I didn’t think Lycidius would really let Mandek’s hand get eaten. But when he pushed Mandek’s hand closer to the cannibal worm nest, I knew he wasn’t playing tricks. “Stop, Lycidius! Stop!” I screamed.

  Ly
cidius yanked Mandek’s hand out of the fence. His cloudy eye was so dark, I thought it wanted to kill me.

  Mandek tripped three times as he ran away. His face had turned redder than Lycidius’s hair and he was crying and squeezing his hand. I was crying, too. I thought I’d be happy if Mandek was hurt, but I wasn’t happy then.

  “You shouldn’t have interfered. That bastard deserved to die,” Lycidius growled. “I thought you wanted protection.”

  “That wasn’t protection,” I told him. “You were being bad.”

  Lycidius frowned the whole way home to Quintree Quay. I laid in my bed right away, with the blankets over my head, and told Ghost that I didn’t want a Shadow. But that was only the first time Lycidius hurt someone to protect me.

  Age 7-9

  Hollowstone City, Eastwick

  The children who lived on Quintree Quay stopped calling me maggot. They stopped throwing mud and snow at me, they stopped talking to me, and they even stopped looking at me. All of them were afraid of Lycidius. He was the new leader of Quintree Quay now.

  Mandek never spoke to me again. For weeks, I found candy on our doorstep with my name written on the bag. I didn’t know who’d left the candy until I decided to sit by the window and catch the person in the act (I hoped it was Tristian, a tall boy in my class, because he was smart, handsome, and funny). As soon as it got dark, I saw Mandek Skala drop a bag on the doorstep and then run away. I thought he was trying to thank me for saving his hand and I felt sad for him.

  I stayed small while Lycidius got taller and stronger. Before sunrise each morning, he’d jog around the city for two hours. The only things he did were eat all the soba noodles in the cupboards, practice weapon techniques, do exercises until he was sweaty, read Demented Books, talk to himself, and work on his computer. Sometimes I’d find him doing video-chats with a young boy with long black hair and green eyes. The boy caught me spying once and growled at me; I didn’t like him either. I thought he must be Lycidius’s only friend because Lycidius didn’t make friends in Hollowstone and only talked to Desya sometimes.