Hard to Forgive (Hard to Love Book 3)

by L. M. Reid

  “Good luck.” We hold our gaze a bit longer. As desperate as I am to break it, I even more so want to hold onto it. We just stand there, both unsure what to say or do.

  “Well, what happened here?” an older woman asks as she approaches us, her eyes darting between us before settling on Cooper.

  “Just a little accident,” Cooper says. Well, at least that’s what he says verbally. His eyes are pleading with her. To leave, I assume. Though, I would think he would prefer the distraction and use it to get away from me.

  “No such thing as an accident,” she says with a wink in my direction. “I’ll see you at the office tomorrow.” The woman smiles at me. “Coop’s a good boy. Sweet as they come.”

  Cooper hangs his head, his eyes trained on the floor. “Goodbye, Edith.”

  I smile at the woman and wish her a good day before turning my attention back to Cooper, “Thanks for the coffee, I uh… I need to get going though.”

  I throw a quick phony smile his way as I maneuver past him.

  “Mia?”

  I turn and look at him and I swear that when I do, my heart stops. As I stand there, waiting for him to say whatever it is he wanted to say, I see the boy I fell in love with. I hold my breath waiting for him to speak. He doesn’t say anything though, he just stares. His face filled with uncertainty. Tired of holding out hope, I breathe. I remind myself that I’m not here for him. That he isn’t what matters anymore if for no other reason than the fact that I don’t matter to him.

  “Don’t worry, Coop. I’ll do my best to avoid you,” I say throwing his words from last week back at him.

  His face falls and it takes everything in me not to care, to just keep walking out of the coffee shop and back home.

  So much for my little coffee oasis. Looks like I won’t be going there again.

  “What the hell happened to you?” Kassie asks when I return to my apartment. She stifles a giggle at my current state.

  I glance down at my now coffee stained shirt, then back up to her amused smile. “Cooper Williams. That’s what happened to me.”

  11

  Cooper

  Between filling my current obligations and trying to work on the restaurant endeavor, I’m burning the candle at both ends. Coffee is a requirement. What is not, is running into Mia. Or spilling coffee on her. Or touching her breasts trying to clean said coffee off.

  I groan as I make my way to the Onyx where I am supposed to meet Mitchell. I was half asleep when he called, and I needed some caffeine to get me through the meeting. That’s when it happened. That’s when I ran into Mia for the first time since that night at Lust. As fucked up as she made me feel that night, today was so much worse. She’s staying. And while she told me she would do her best to avoid me, let’s face it, two times in a week? That ain’t happening. At least not as easily as I would like for it to.

  Standing in front of the Onyx, the mere sight of the hotel makes any thoughts not related to the restaurant escape my head. There is so much to do, so much to plan. Every detail from the menu down to what napkins to order is mine to make. Mitchell is giving me carte blanche and as grateful as I am for that – I’m fucking overwhelmed beyond belief. I don’t know about that shit. I’m a chef. I cook. I don’t know what or how to create an entire restaurant.

  Mitchell and Edith have both been championing me along, but I still feel lost out of my league here. Maybe this wasn’t the right move. Maybe I should have just kept doing what I was doing; cooking, catering, and making people happy. That’s what I know.

  Mitchell greets me enthusiastically. As exhausted as I am a surge of exhilaration comes over me the minute that I look at the space. My space.

  “How are the plans coming along?” he asks.

  I could lie and tell him everything is great, but I don’t want to start our relationship off with lies. If I can’t hack it, he deserves to know.

  Scrubbing a hand over my face I admit something I normally would never cop to, inadequacy. “Honestly, Mitchell, I think I’m in over my head. I know the kitchen, the rest… I’m struggling. I don’t know, maybe I wasn’t cut out for this.”

  Mitchell begins to laugh and I’m not sure what part of what I said was actually funny. The part where I admitted I can’t handle it? Or the other part when I admitted I can’t handle it?

  “If you didn’t feel overwhelmed and out of your element, I would be concerned,” he says when his laughter dies down enough for him to speak. “I’ve opened five hotels and each and every time, I swore I was going to quit. We all have those moments. But, Contemporary Lodging, it’s a team. And lucky for you the hotel manager here at the Onyx – she’s the best. She will be able to help you navigate your way through this process and she’s great with details and extras, so if you need an opinion – ask her. She is one hundred percent invested in making this place an absolute success. Every piece of it. So, I am sure she won’t have a problem lending a hand.”

  That sounds great and all, but I can’t help but feel like I shouldn’t need her to lend me a hand. I should be able to handle this on my own. I mean, it seems like Mitchell thinks she can handle a whole hotel and a restaurant and here I am struggling over here.

  “Relax, Cooper, everything is going to work out. I promise you,” Mitchell says reassuringly.

  I wish I had the faith in me that he does.

  “Why don’t the three of us meet first thing Monday morning? We can do a walkthrough of the hotel; you two can pick each other’s brains. Then you can get settled in your office.”

  “Sounds like a plan,” I say.

  “Now, the reason I called you here.” Mitchell hands me a small box.

  “What’s this?” I ask.

  “Just open it and find out,” he chuckles.

  Removing the lid from the box, I smile down at the contents. A set of keys.

  “Can’t have your own restaurant without your own keys,” he says.

  I can’t stop staring at them; I can’t stop thinking about all of this. It’s actually happening, it’s coming true.

  “Thank you. I…You really have no idea how much all of this means to me.”

  “Stop thanking me, Cooper,” he says patting me on the back. “Lock up when you leave. Oh, and take the weekend off will ya? You look like hell.”

  “I won’t argue that,” I say.

  The door closes behind him leaving me standing alone in the large empty space that will soon be my kitchen. Breathing it in, trying to push out all the anxieties and just enjoy it for a moment.

  My moment of peace is quickly interrupted by my phone.

  Griffin: Lust. Now.

  Me: Why?

  Griffin: I’ve got a couple of other assholes with me who want to celebrate your new restaurant. Get here now.

  When I get to the club, I use the VIP entrance and make my way through the crowd to Griffin’s personal spot at the bar. You would think the man would use one of the several private rooms he has available, even the VIP area. Not Griffin though, he likes to be in the thick of things and by that I mean where all the women are. Or at least that’s how it used to be before he met Chloe. I swear, the man fell harder and quicker than I ever thought possible.

  Making my way toward him I also see Grayson and Hal standing there. They’re really all here. The smile on my face is unstoppable. Us, this friendship we’ve formed, no matter what happens or how busy we are, we always find a way to come together whether it be for the good moments, or the bad.

  I pull Grayson in for a hug first. A thank you for helping me review the contract Mitchell gave me and looking out for my best interest. Unlike that fucker Griffin, who is still on my shit list for the little stunt he pulled regarding Mia.

  Once we’re all settled and the greetings have subsided, the celebrating begins. You know that liquor that’s even better than the top shelf shit? Yeah, well Griffin’s got it flowing tonight. Part in celebration and part in apology I’m sure. He’s a generous dude, but not this generous.

  “To
Cooper,” Hal says raising his glass of whiskey in a toast. “Your dream is finally coming true.”

  I’ll drink to that. Hell, I’ll drink to anything right about now because my dream come true or not, this whole thing has me on edge. Excitement and fear rule my body. With a little side of desire for Mia thrown in. Because fuck if I can get her out of my head even now.

  “Yeah, man, this is outstanding. Your own restaurant, you have to be on cloud nine,” Grayson chimes in.

  “Oh, he’s not on cloud nine, he’s on cloud sixty-nine,” Griffin taunts. “Mia Beckett is back in town.”

  “Fuck off Griffin,” I say, my voice laced with irritation. This was supposed to be a celebration – not a roast.

  “Mia’s back? Why didn’t you say anything?” Grayson asks.

  I look between the three of them. They all know what happened between Mia and me. How it ended, how she just up and left. Why any of them would think I would be okay with seeing her again, or even more why I would want to is beyond me.

  “How about because I don’t give a damn that she’s back?” I reply which does nothing but earn me laughter from the three of them.

  If I wasn’t trying to save face here, I might have joined them. Not giving a damn that she’s back isn’t why I kept trying to have a conversation with her this afternoon when I should have just let her walk away. But, no, I just kept calling her back, wanting to be near her.

  “Come on Coop, we know better than that. You and Mia…” Grayson begins.

  I promptly cut him off not wanting to hear whatever it is he has to say. “We were friends. And friends don’t pull shit like she did. They don’t fucking disappear on you either. Hell, I can’t get you three off my ass to save my life.”

  “Don’t be such a whiney fucker. You know you were glad to see her,” Griffin retorts.

  Asshole. If it weren’t for the fact that this is his club and his bouncers would easily crush me, I would kick his ass.

  “Fuck Mia Beckett,” I say.

  “You already did,” Hal laughs.

  “A lot,” Grayson chimes in.

  Glad to see their having a good time, laughing at my suffering. “I thought I came here to celebrate, not to be tortured?”

  Thinking about Mia is bad enough. Her being back in town is fucking torture for no other reason than the ache I get in my balls from knowing I can’t have her.

  “He’s right let’s give him a break,” Hal says. He’s the only reasonable one in the group. “This is his day. After all, it’s not like he kissed her or anything.”

  I hate them. Every single one of them.

  “Alright, alright. We’ll drop it,” Griffin says. “Besides – gorgeous brunette right at eight o’clock and she is checking you out.”

  My head whips in the direction that Griffin nods his head. I could have given myself whiplash trying to see if it was Mia he was referring to. Not because I didn’t want her to be here but because I did. I hate that I want it to be Mia’s blue eyes looking back at me. I hate even more that when I do look, it isn’t her. It’s a brunette giving me that come fuck me look. She’s beautiful, I’ll give Griffin that. But she’s not Mia. And right now, no matter how much I wish it weren’t the case, my dick only seems to be interested in Mia.

  My abrupt movement instilled yet another round of laughter from the guys. They know damn well I was thinking it was Mia. I walked right into that one. Trying to play it off I say, “I’m not in the mood tonight. I came here to celebrate with my boys.”

  God, I wish I were in the mood. I wish the brunette did anything to my body because I sure as hell could use a release from all this tension that Mia’s created in me. But, my cock, he’s just not into it.

  Griffin rolls his eyes but doesn’t say anything more.

  “So, tell us about the restaurant,” Grayson says.

  Thankful for his reprieve I jump into all the details, shit they know nothing about. I tell them about the stove and the top of the line knife set. They all stare at me like I’m speaking a foreign language, but they all look happy for me. That’s what matters. Not the shit that they gave me about Mia or the fact that this is the first time we’ve all been together in months. At the end of the day, just like back in college we know we have each other’s backs. It’s nice to know that some things never change.

  It’s also disheartening knowing that some things never change - like how I can’t stop wanting Mia.

  12

  Mia

  Must. Get. Coffee.

  It’s the only thought running through my aching head as I make my way past Mugs, the coffee shop I will never step foot in again thanks to my run-in with Cooper.

  Instead I step into Starbucks that’s right next door to the Onyx for my iced coffee grumbling under my breath about how this is the second thing in less than a week that Cooper’s presence has ruined for me. First Lust now Mugs. I really hope this doesn’t turn into a habit.

  It's just past seven in the morning when I walk into the Onyx, the whole place already a buzz with contractors. The sounds of hammering, drilling, and sawing fill my ears. It sounds busy, it sounds like work. Most importantly, it sounds like progress.

  “Hey Wyatt,” I greet the head contractor as I hand him the large black coffee I brought for him. “How’s it going?”

  Wyatt’s a great guy and aside from Kassie, I don’t really have anyone in Dayton. Needless to say, clicking with Wyatt was a pleasant surprise and I’ve come to appreciate this friendship we’re forming. Plus, I have to admit, the guy is nice to look at. His formfitting jeans, tight t-shirts, and that tool belt. Who the hell knew a tool belt could be so damn sexy?

  “Surprisingly, according to plan,” he says with a hearty laugh. “Any word on the restaurant?”

  “I am actually meeting with Mitchell about that today. Hopefully, we’ll have the plans ready for you by end of day.” I tell him that with conviction. Whoever Mitchell brought in to open this restaurant is behind on plans for kitchen set-up. Actually, he’s behind on everything.

  It's not all the guy’s fault. Mitchell, last minute man that he is, didn’t sign him on until last week. That doesn’t leave a lot of time. Five weeks until opening. That means there is only about a week or so until I need to start taking reservations for this restaurant, which is a little hard to do when I don’t know the name of it or what kind of restaurant it is.

  Sure, the restaurant itself is a separate entity, but it’s still a part of the hotel. As far as I’m concerned anything that touches this hotel, is my responsibility. I need to establish room service options, scheduling, line queuing. There are a million factors that neither Mitchell nor this chef seems to care about. Until today.

  Today, we are finally meeting and I can finally get things under control.

  “Anything else?” I ask Wyatt. Being on schedule is great and all, but it also leaves me with a lot of concern that we’ve missed something. Kassie always tells me that I would be the one to worry about there being nothing to worry about.

  “Not on my end. Nina, the interior designer, when she finally quit touching me,” he says with a roll of his eyes, “Said she’d be here later to go over the finishing touches with you.”

  “She’s kind of touchy feely, huh?” I laugh.

  “Not kind of. Full on groping,” he says with a shake of his head.

  “Well quit showing off the bulging biceps and maybe she wouldn’t want to touch you so much,” I tease. Though, I secretly hope he doesn’t listen because damn if I don’t like checking them out myself. “So, we’re good then?” I ask for confirmation – again – as I give him a look. It’s an all-encompassing one that questions every single thing he’s ever said to me while informing him that I don’t have time for bullshit.

  “I swear, Mia. We’re good.”

  I nod and smile satisfied with his assurance – for now. “I’ll be in my office if you need me.”

  I’m working diligently at my desk and barely notice when Shauna pops her head into my office
. Shauna is my assistant and a God send. I was so lucky to find someone so qualified so quickly. If it weren’t for her, I would be a bigger mess than I already am.

  “Hey, Mia, there is someone here asking for you,” she tells me.

  I glance at my clock. It’s a little after ten. It must be the Chef. He’s late. I hate when people are late. Yes, I realize that him being late means Mitchell is also late. And as much as I hate that, he’s the boss, I can’t complain.

  “Must be the new Chef,” I say as I put my things away and grab my cell phone.

  “God, I hope so because he is smokin’ hot.”

  I roll my eyes. As wonderful of an assistant as she is, she does tend to spend a significant amount of time ogling the construction guys. Her and Kassie would get along great.

  Stepping into the lobby I see a tall man standing amidst all the mess looking lost. I take him in momentarily, his tall frame, strong broad shoulders, and tight ass. If his front looks half as good as his back does….

  “May I help you?” I ask trying to sound professional despite the drool session I just had.

  When the man turns and faces me, my jaw drops. You have got to be kidding me.

  “What are you doing here? How did you find me?” I say demanding answers to my questions.

  “What are you talking about? I’m not here for you, I’m here to meet with the hotel manager,” Cooper says with as much shock on his face as I am sure there is on mine.

  “Please tell me you’re not a Chef.”

  No.

  “Tell me you aren’t.”

  No.

  “Damn it Cooper, are you or are you not the new Chef?” I ask in a sharp tone.

  Because I am fairly certain my worst nightmare just came true and Cooper Williams just ruined thing number three for me this week.