Hard to Forgive (Hard to Love Book 3)

by L. M. Reid

  “Thank you for your time, we’ll be in contact,” I tell her.

  “Okie dokie,” she replies as quite literally bounces out of the seat, then out of the conference room.

  I drop my head to the table and groan.

  Four weeks to opening and I have barely any staff in place. Thirteen interviews today and I only hired two people. How the hell am I going to open this hotel without any staff.

  “You look like you could use a pick me up,” a voice says from the doorway.

  My eyes glance up to see the holder of the voice. Cooper stands there with a smile that damn near melts my insides. “Not today.”

  “Not today, what?” he asks as he makes his way into the conference room.

  “I can’t with you today. So, just…go.”

  We have barely spoken since he left my apartment the other day. I’m not in the mood to deal with whatever issues he has, or we have, or whatever. I should have never opened that door. Letting him back in, even just for sex, was letting him in too far. I should have kept my distance. I should have avoided him.

  He sits on the table next to me. “I can’t walk away from a damsel in distress,” he teases.

  “Please, go away,” I beg.

  As if it’s not bad enough that the man takes up most of the space in my brain as it is, having him this close only sends everything into overdrive. And I mean, everything. My body is already humming, my core aching.

  He takes my hand in his. “Come with me.”

  “No.”

  “Please?”

  “I have work to do,” I argue.

  “That was your last interview and everything else is right on schedule. Including my kitchen,” he tells me.

  Good for him.

  “Please, come with me, Mia.”

  With a groan, I take the hand he has extended to me. We make our way into his kitchen. This is the first time I’m seeing it and I must say, I’m impressed with the progress.

  “Have a seat,” he instructs me.

  I hop up onto the prep table. Giving in just a little I tell him, “It looks amazing in here.”

  “Thanks,” he replies. “It came out better than I imagined it. I don’t know, all of this, it feels so surreal.”

  I watch as he maneuvers effortlessly around the space. Even brand new, he’s familiar with the layout as though he had dreamed it in his head for so long that his body was already accustomed to it.

  “I know what you mean,” I commiserate thinking about my own life. “You don’t have anything to worry about. You’re going to do great.”

  “I hope so. I would hate to let Mitchell down.”

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “Shoot.”

  “Why did you take his offer?” I’ve often wondered why Cooper would take an offer from Mitchell when he has access to enough money to open his own restaurant outright. Why take on a partnership? “You could have done this on your own.”

  For a man who only a week ago was struggling, he sure seems to have gotten his confidence back. “Opening my own restaurant would have meant relying on my parents for help. I know they would have, but I wanted to do it on my own.” He laughs. “Okay, going into business with Mitchell isn’t exactly on my own, but the idea that someone thinks highly enough to invest in you, like Mitchell is doing with me? That’s a high in and of itself. Besides, you saw how awful I was at the actual restaurant portion of the stuff.”

  “You weren’t awful,” I say.

  “Yeah, that’s why you set me up with Nina.”

  “I would say I’m sorry, but you totally deserved that. And it was really funny.”

  “Oh, yeah?” Cooper takes an egg off the counter and holds it up like he’s going to throw it.

  “Don’t you dare,” I laugh as I jump off the counter.

  “What are you going to do about it?” he taunts.

  I try to move away from him but he’s too fast for me. The egg falls to the floor as he wraps his arms around me and pulls me to him.

  “Let me go.” The words come out a giggle as his fingers meet my sides. “Stop.”

  “Make me.”

  I turn in his arms and my hands reach up for his face and pull it down to mine. Once he deepens the kiss, my hands slide down his body to undo the buckle, then the button on his jeans. I slowly move the zipper down before reaching my hand in and taking hold of what it is that I so desperately need. I don’t know what doing this means for me, or him, or us. Right now, I don’t care. Need and desire take over. The man who owns my heart and body is here and now and everything in me is screaming to connect with him.

  There is nothing gentle about the kiss, or the way he touches me. Sex. Hard, hot sex. God, I’ve missed this – his touch, his kiss, his everything.

  Sounds of pleasure escape him as my hand continues its assault by stroking him. Hot wet kisses trail down the exposed skin on my neck as his hands grab at the gap in my shirt, the buttons popping off and exposing more of me to him. Through the lace of my bra, his mouth covers my nipple, his teeth grazing it causing me to inhale sharply.

  “Now,” I demand still stroking him with one hand as I move closer to the edge.

  My drenched panties rubbing against the head of his cock, pleading for it to be inside me.

  There is no room to think, only to feel.

  Time is of the essence. I lift my ass from the table with his help, sliding one leg out of my panties to allow him further access.

  No words, just actions.

  He lines himself at my entrance, his head stroking the wetness. He’s taunting me; I can see it in his eyes. He wants to turn me on, bring me to the point of no return. What he doesn’t seem to realize is that I’m already there. I’m a mess of desire and it’s only for him. I move my hips forward, forcing him inside me. The moment he feels me, he loses control and pushes into me hard and deep, my body jerking from the motion. My arms wrap around his neck for support as I cry out in pleasure from the sensation.

  He thrusts into me hard and fast, his thumb pressing firmly on my clit as I grind against him. With panting breaths escaping us, we’re both on the verge. Mine comes first, rolling over me wave after wave, my body constricting and milking his own release from him.

  He holds onto me, both of us struggling to catch our breath. With his thumb, he tilts my chin up, a satisfied grin on his face. “Me and you, we were never a mistake,” he tells me. “We are goddamn perfection.”

  While in complete agreement with him, I do my best to not let his words affect me. Sex. We are just sex, I remind myself. Goddamn perfection. His words tug at places they shouldn’t. My heartbeat quickens until I finally manage to pull back from his embrace and maneuver myself off the table. The buttons on my shirt sprayed across the room, so he kindly offers me his shirt.

  “Please don’t run, Mia,” he says. “Have dinner with me.”

  “I…” It’s that damn look in his eyes that gets to me, tugs on my heart strings. Strings that I am trying to keep from tethering to a man who won’t ever return the sentiment. They are also what pulls me to the stool near the stove where he’s working on finishing whatever he started before we got sidetracked.

  A few moments pass before he sets a plate in front of each of us. The meal is nothing short of spectacular, fresh made pasta, fresh garlic bread. The cab loving half Italian side of me is in heaven.

  “I’m proud of you.” I speak without thinking. Fear is setting in that I may have opened myself up to yet another bullshit just friend’s speech or something similar. “You did exactly what you set out to do.”

  “I’m proud of you, too. You’re amazing at what you do.”

  “I don’t feel so amazing right now,” I admit as I take another bite.

  Despite trying to keep him at arm’s length, every time we’re together it’s impossible to deny how easy and comfortable things are. We could slip right into old habits without so much as a bat of an eyelash. Still, some things remain unchanged. Like, how I feel about him and
how he doesn’t want to a relationship. I can deny it all I want, but my heart has belonged to him since the moment we met. Nothing has changed and I am starting to doubt it ever will.

  “Well you are. You just need to relax a little.” He turns to me with a spoon in his hand. “Try this.”

  I lean forward, my mouth opening for the spoon. The sweet batter hits my lips. “That is delicious.” The taste of cheesecake, with a hint of chocolate chip cookie dough; my two favorite flavors.

  “I hoped you’d like it. After all, you inspired it.”

  “Me?”

  “Yeah, you,” he laughs. “See any other cheesecake obsessed people around here?”

  Rolling my eyes at him, I reach out for him and tug him toward me. No way do I have the strength to actually move the man, but he comes toward me just the same. “Quit picking on me.”

  “You know you like it.”

  “I can think of a few things I like more.”

  “What about dessert?” he asks as I continue to seduce him into round two.

  “As amazing as that custard is, you’ve got something else I want to taste much more.”

  “Oh?”

  When I sink to my knees and take him into my mouth, the “Holy fuck” that escapes him sears into my soul. It’s not the words, but the way he says them.

  “You just made every damn dream of mine come true right this second.”

  Little does he know, he’s done the same for me. Being with him like this again, heartbreak be damned, it’s everything I ever wanted and it’s even better than I imagined.

  After I’m sated and exhausted, I leave Cooper to clean up the mess we made in his kitchen and head back to my office to finish the work that still needs to be done.

  I flip through the stack of resumes again. One of these people I interviewed today has to be good enough. Someone has to stand out.

  Knock-knock.

  “Come in,” I call out.

  Staring at the door, I wait for someone to come in. After a few moments, I get up and walk over, tugging on the handle. No one’s there. I glance down to the floor. A bowl of custard, the dessert we were supposed to share is at my feet.

  Goddamn perfection.

  That’s exactly what he is.

  22

  Mia

  Everything is perfect.

  I hate that the idea makes me wonder exactly when the ball is going to drop. Something is bound to go wrong. The hotel is coming along on schedule. When does that ever happen? Cooper and I, we’re in a good place. We may have stepped over the just sex line a little, but it’s good. My heart is still intact, so far, and Cooper almost seems to be changing – becoming open to the possibility of more. As skeptical as I am, I can’t seem to help enjoying the ride it’s taking me on. Though I still take caution, trying not to read too much into what’s happening and just focusing on enjoying the moment.

  So, when I feel an arm come around my waist, I don’t swoon over it. Okay, I do. But I do it cautiously.

  “What is with you and these skirts,” he says. “You’re killing me here.” He nuzzles into my neck, the feel of his lips sending a shiver through me.

  “Easier access,” I reply.

  Thankfully, no one is around. The hotel is actually quiet at the moment, so I don’t feel inclined to push him away. I turn in his arms because I want to look at him. I want to see that handsome face and the desire in his eyes that seems to only be for me.

  “Morning,” he says before capturing my lips.

  “Morning,” I reply, my arms wrapping around his neck.

  Okay, maybe I’m not as immune to his charms as I would like to be.

  “Am I ever going to wake up with you in my arms again?” he asks referencing my most recent bail on our night together. One time I let him in and now he just won’t let it go.

  “That’s against the rules,” I remind him.

  “You’ve never been one to follow the rules.”

  No, I haven’t. But when it’s a matter of importance, such as saving my heart from destruction, I have no other choice. “Don’t push it Coop. Things are going great; we don’t want to…”

  “Ruin it? Pretty sure that’s impossible.”

  “We’ve done it before,” I remind him. No matter how much I try to put it past me, the utter devastation he left me in is hard to forget. Even harder to forgive.

  “We’re not the same people anymore.” Still unwilling to let go of me, Cooper’s arms are firm around my waist. “I’m not the same person anymore.”

  “Maybe not, but you still want the same thing.”

  “What if I don’t?”

  A shrill voice saying my name interrupts my ability to process what he just said. Still in Cooper’s hold, every muscle in my body tenses.

  The look of horror on Copper’s face mirrors mine as my body goes from pliable to completely frozen in his arms. Looking over his shoulder I see my mother heading in our direction, my father following behind looking down at his phone.

  “Why is it that I am finding out about your new job from everyone but you?” No greeting, no acknowledgement of any kind. She’s just standing there with her hands on her hips demanding an answer to her question.

  I am more than happy to give her one. “Maybe if you would answer your phone when I called or bothered to return one of the messages that I left you, you would know,” I reply. Stepping out of Cooper’s hold I walk toward my mother. At least for the moment, my confidence is in full force and I am refusing to let her intimidate me.

  “You know very well that a text message would have sufficed. I am far too busy to be listening to rambling messages,” she says.

  “Why don’t you just come out and say what you really mean? You’re far too busy to waste time on your daughter.”

  “I’m here, aren’t I?” she says, her eyes challenging me to question her obvious statement.

  Sure, she’s here. No way in hell is it out of love and support for her daughter. She came here to hurt me, to talk down to me, to treat me like the mistake I am.

  “The question is why?” I ask.

  I’ve lost her attention though. Her eyes have found Cooper. She’s always had a soft spot for him, or from what I can tell an attraction to. She saunters over to where I left him. Her fingers running down his chest as she coos his name.

  “Hi Mrs. Beckett,” Cooper acknowledges her. “Hi Mr. Beckett.” He greets my father as well, hoping that gaining his attention will help my mother to cease her actions.

  Unfortunately, my father answers a call leaving poor Cooper under my mother’s thumb.

  “You just look even more handsome than I remember,” she tells him.

  Cooper takes a step back as he thanks her for the compliment.

  “Enough, mother,” I assert.

  Her hand drops and she turns her head to look at me before refocusing back on Cooper. My heels click on the marble tile of the lobby as I march over and step between them. “Leave him alone. He wants me, Mom. Not you, me.”

  “Oh, Mia, don’t be so dramatic. I was just saying hi to your friend.”

  “Boyfriend,” Cooper says as he places his hands on my waist and steps into me. “Mia and I are together.”

  Putting on a charade for my mother’s benefit or not, words I’ve always wanted to hear fall from his lips still hit me right in the gut. God, how I wish he really meant that. Resisting the urge to whip my head around to see if maybe there is just a hint of truth behind it, I stand my ground and smile at her letting her know that I won.

  “Wonderful, then you can both join us for dinner,” she says. “Seven o’clock, The Cellar. Now, Mia, why don’t you show me around this hotel of yours.”

  I grimace as she takes my arm. What should be a comforting, motherly touch does nothing but instill sheer dread inside me. Rather than letting it consume me, I push it aside and proudly show her around. And when we are done, she leaves with nothing more than a reminder to not be late to dinner.

  ***

 
“You don’t have to do this,” I tell Cooper as he makes his way into my home.

  “I want to. Besides, Viv would be terribly disappointed if I didn’t show,” he jokes. He might find amusement in all of this, but I don’t. The fact is, he’s right; she would be disappointed if he weren’t there which doesn’t leave me much of an option except to allow him to come with.

  “Ugh. Fine. You’re right,” I concede.

  Returning to the bedroom, I change into yet another outfit. When I emerge again I’m wearing the prim and proper knee length dress my mother sent me for Christmas. My black hair is pulled back in a sleek ponytail. “So?” I ask Cooper.

  His lips curl into a smile. “I like it, kind of gives off a naughty librarian vibe.”

  “It’s the heels, they’re too high,” I say as I beeline back to the bedroom.

  Cooper follows me inside. He pins my body against his. “You look spectacular.”

  “I highly doubt Vivian will agree,” I say flatly.

  “To hell with Vivian and Hudson,” he tells me. “They don’t deserve you.”

  Relaxing into his hold, I rest my body against his. “Do we have to go?” I whine.

  “Yep. You know why?” he asks. I shake my head. “Because I hate the chef at the Cellar, and I want to piss him off by walking in with a girl like you on my arm.”

  “You’re an idiot,” I say as laughter bubbles out of me. Out of the corner of my eye I catch a glimpse of the clock. “Shit, we’re going to be late.”

  “As I recall, we were always late,” Cooper says suggestively pulling me back in.

  “Not tonight. Not…”

  Before I can protest, he’s pressing his lips against mine. I need to resist him; I need to stop this. His tongue runs alone my lips requesting access. The sensation makes me weak in my knees and I give into him almost immediately.

  He scoops me into his arms and carries me to the bed. “What are you doing?” I ask as he sets me down.

  “Helping you relax.” Cooper drops to his knees before me and tugs me to the edge of the bed.

  “Cooper, we’re going to be… Oh, God,” I cry out when his finger runs along my uncovered entrance.