Awkward Adventures in Dating

by Elsa Kurt

Diamond. How was all in Mutant Land?

  They volleyed a couple rounds of light banter and agreed to firm up the details later. He was so unlike anyone she’d met before—self-assured, but not arrogant. Level, but not dull. Straightforward, but not pushy. She recalled how he’d talked about his job and his life. When discussing the former, he showed a clear sense of pride in the profession, while acknowledging its many downsides. She liked his sense of honor and his need for integrity at all times. He had an air of quiet dignity that spoke volumes of his character. He commanded respect rather than demanded it. Then, she reminded herself to add the words ‘so far’ to the end of her thoughts.

  Ah, yes. So far. Well, so far, she is positively swooning.

  He spoke with respect and fairness when he talked about his ex-wife, yet another testament to his goodness. Rather than bashing his ex for whatever real or perceived faults, he acknowledged that it took two to pull apart a marriage, and his profession and drive had played a significant role in its demise. He not only took ownership but showed restraint and regard to her, who by his account was a truly good and kind person. Keira found it admirable and a massive credit to his personality. When he spoke of his mother, his respect and admiration were abundant without sounding like a ‘mama’s boy.’ He spoke with pride at her perseverance through hardships and poverty rather than derision or embarrassment of his humble background. Everything about him, from his mannerisms to his words, recommended him positively. Of this, Keira was confident in her assessment... so far.

  12 GOTTA KEEP EM SEPARATED

  Chapter Eleven in The Smart Woman’s Guide To Dating. Exes, even in the best of circumstances, can be a nuisance. Keep them away from your dating life at all costs.

  When the girls had arrived back home, somewhere between Keira’s first and third date with Kyle, it was with complete joy. Relief and surprise had overwhelmed her at how different they seemed in such a relatively short time.

  “You grew. I swear you’re an inch taller.”

  Keira had hugged Lola, tears welling at the sight of her tan, tired girls.

  “Oh, Mom, stop. You think? I don’t feel taller. Okay, let me go, I wanna see Murphy and Silas.”

  Lola slipped out of the hug and ran into the house, dropping her bags at Keira’s feet without a second thought.

  “Mom, are you crying? Seriously, you’re too much.”

  Violet rolled her eyes but smiled as she squeezed her mom.

  “I sure am, and I don’t even care. Man, I missed you two. Get settled while I chat with your Dad.”

  Once the kids were inside playing with the dogs, Keira addressed Darren. He was quiet, which made Keira nervous. They had scarcely talked since their phone conversation, and he was likely embarrassed, but still, she was wary.

  “So, looks like everyone had a good time? Girls seem happy. Tired, but happy. Your, uh, visit with your Dad went well?”

  “Yeah, yeah, no it was great. Good time. Girls were great. So, I’ll, uh, skip Thursday like we said, and pick Lola up Saturday around noon, right?”

  “Yeah, that’s great. Thanks for skipping Thursday so I can make up lost time. Is everything all right?”

  He wouldn’t even look at her, confirming what she suspected.

  “Yeah, all good. I, uh, feel kinda stupid, though. ‘Bout that phone call—”

  “Oh, yeah, listen, don’t even worry about it. We’re good, it’s all good. Just, forget about it, okay?”

  They were mutually uncomfortable and more than willing to pretend the conversation never happened. He shoulders relaxed, and his mega-watt grin returned. He sidestepped Keira, jogged toward the house, and called back,

  “Just gonna say bye to them. You got their bags, right?”

  Keira sighed, back to the same old Darren just like that.

  “No,” she called out as he walked into the house empty-handed, “send their asses out here to carry them for themselves. They’re old enough to be responsible.”

  No response. So, she grabbed two of the smallest bags and left the rest by the car. It irked her more than usual he’d walked right into the house and left her outside. For a split second, she felt like an outsider at her own home and hurried inside to join them. After he said his goodbyes, Keira shooed him out the door a little more firmly than usual, but no one seemed to notice, which was probably for the best.

  Once he was gone, Keira, and the girls trudged out to the driveway together and collected the rest of their luggage, all heavier than when they’d left with them. Darren had taken them mall shopping, and they were excited to show off their new clothes, so they spent their first day home unpacking, untagging and doing mountains of laundry. Once dinner finished, Violet dashed over to see Ana at Molly’s and Lola had her neighborhood friends over. Life was back to normal, just like that. Keira had once again worried without need.

  It was a marvel to Keira how quickly the kids had settled right back into their routines, almost as if they’d never left and with a sense of relief even on their part. Violet had stated it best, announcing,

  “Well, it was fun to go away, but there’s no place like home.”

  Then she announced she was going over to Ana’s, and Lola’s friends showed up. But Keira didn’t want it any other way. Once again, it struck Keira how much she loved her life just as it was, and wished she could freeze the moment for as long as possible. So many changes were on the horizon, they always were, and while many of them were good, she couldn’t help worrying about the bad that could happen. It was the things that were out of her control that caused her the most anxiety, especially when it came to her children. As always, when in times of stress, Keira made her way out to the garden for distraction and refocus, thankful for its ever presence and need for attention. As she weeded and pruned, the birds chirped, and the pond’s fountain trickled melodically, and the fluttery in her chest subsided. This would be a constant challenge, controlling the fears and doubts.

  It is just that thing they call, ‘life.’

  13 FLYING ELBOWS, MAN

  Chapter Twelve in The Smart Woman’s Guide To Dating. You may have begun to think about seeing someone exclusively at this point. But are you really ready? I recommend waiting one full year to start an exclusive relationship.

  “So, you’re not offended, I hope?”

  It was Saturday, late afternoon, and Kyle and Keira stood in her driveway, ready to leave for their concert date.

  “Listen, like I told you on the phone. I get it, really. Your daughters come foremost for you, and I would expect no less. I remember my mother dated when I was a kid, but I never met anyone unless it was serious. That’s good, I think.”

  “Thanks, I appreciate that. Sorry, you had to wait around the corner till they left, though. There was a—a situation, nothing worth mentioning, but I didn’t want to add you to the mix.”

  The ‘situation’ was No Name deciding to walk across the street and say hello to Darren as he picked up Lola. She could see him from her hiding spot behind the curtain shooting furtive glances up at the window, trying to see where she was. Darren, being his typical Darren self, acted friendly and encouraged Nameless to chat while Keira fumed from the living room window, refusing to come out until he walked away. Though both men were tall, Darren still had an inch or two over No Name, which he treated as ten inches, puffing himself up and putting a (pseudo) consoling arm over No Name’s shoulder. How that fool could not see the blatant condescension and false sympathy in Darren’s every word and action, was beyond her. All because Darren knew Keira had a date and was waiting for them to leave before she allowed Kyle to pull up.

  “No worries. You, uh, okay? You seem a little... agitated. We can talk about it if you want.”

  “Thank you, but nope, I’m all good. Honest. I’d like to just separate that from this and have a fun night.”

  And she meant it. Kyle was something separate from the nonsense of dealing with her two exes. This was something pure and unaffected, fresh and new, and she didn’t wan
t to taint it.

  So, she shook it off and continued,

  “So, tell me about the people I’ll be meeting tonight.”

  As it turned out, he had picked up half a dozen tickets for the show, knowing his friends would be interested in going as well. They made plans to have dinner all together beforehand, coincidentally at the same place she and Kyle had their big PDA kiss.

  “Well, there’s Jared, who I worked with in the city, and his girl Marisol. He’ll talk your ear off, terrific guy, though. Then there’s Tim and his wife, Gina. He and I go way, way back, one of my best friends. Trust him completely, also worked in the city together. His wife comes across as uptight, but she’s good people.”

  By ‘in the city,’ he meant his first twenty years ‘on the job’— she was a quick study of their police lingo, she prided herself— and not his current position in a small-town police department. He continued to list the other couple and his relationship to them, but Keira had picked up on something he said about his friend Tim, that he ‘trusted him completely,’ and it made her slightly anxious. Tim’s opinion and judgment meant something to Kyle, so her immediate thought was that she hoped Tim liked her. It was date number five, the first time meeting his friends, and. she liked this guy — so far — and wanted to see where things would go. So, the thought of someone else having the power to influence his interest, well, it concerned her.

  “Hey,” he said giving her a side glance, “relax. I wouldn’t bring you around if I didn’t think you could handle it.”

  He winked and grabbed her hand, giving it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. They parked in the parking garage, the same one she’d picked up her car on their last date and walked into the restaurant. Everyone was already seated, they were the last ones to arrive. It mortified Keira, knowing it was because of her they were late, but no one seemed to care, and a round of boisterous greetings and introductions commenced.

  Keira sat next to Kyle’s friend Jared, who immediately leaned in and said,

  “Don’t worry, kid. We won’t bite.”

  Like Kyle had told her, Jared talked a blue streak which she was grateful for, since Kyle was discussing work with the other couple. At one point, Jared even snatched her fork mid-fall and handed it back with a smile. She wondered if Kyle had mentioned her clumsiness and started to feel embarrassed, but Jared had such a ‘kind uncle’ presence, and an almost Mr. Roger’s way of speaking, that Keira relaxed again. He was so mild-mannered that she couldn’t help but quietly ask Kyle if Jared was really a cop. He fit none of the stereotypes, and so was incredulous as Kyle nodded his assent, adding,

  “Yup, doesn’t seem the type, right? You doin’ okay over here. I’m not ignoring you, just talking shop. ‘Fraid that happens a lot when we all get together. Hey, there’s Timmy.”

  Timmy had been absent from the table, having taken a call outside and missing the introductions. If Keira had had any preconceived ideas of what he would look like (and she did), she was wrong. Tim was shorter and stockier than Kyle, fair and blond where Kyle was tall, darker haired, and tan. Where they were similar was in presence. If not smiling, Kyle had an almost stern look, stoic and watchful, guarded even. Tim was much the same. So, when Kyle introduced her to his longtime friend, she couldn’t help feeling rebuked by his bland reception.

  She argued with herself, admonishing that she was being ridiculous and self-involved, and perhaps his severe expression and disinterest in meeting her had more to do with his phone call and nothing at all to do with disapproving of her. Still, being Keira, she determined herself to make him like her, defying all her vows to be and let be.

  The dinner ended, and the party rushed to the venue, two blocks away. A light rain had begun to fall as they walked and no one had prepared for it, so by the time they got inside the Coliseum, they all were wet. However, they all also had a good buzz from the drinks over dinner, so the misfortune didn’t dampen their excellent spirits. The only exception was Tim’s wife, who was just as Kyle had intimated, and whose irritation was visibly.

  They’d showed their tickets and made way to the concession stand before finding their seats. Keira discretely observed Tim’s demeanor as he walked away from his wife. Her unwillingness to shrug it off like everyone else clearly annoyed him but trying to act unconcerned as he stood beside Keira.

  “Tim?” Keira said with a smile, and she passed him one of the beers being handed out by Kyle. “It’s all good.”

  She clinked her bottle against his and grinned.

  “You know what, Keira-Keir? You’re right. It is all good. Let’s have some fucking fun, right?”

  With that, Tim let out a whoop and a chant of ‘Diamond. Diamond. Diamond.’ erupted from the group, awarding them stares and laughs from the nearby concert goers, with some of them even joining in. And it really was all good. They had a great night, dancing and singing along to every song, and even Tim’s wife rallied. Keira enjoyed seeing Kyle in his element and seeing who his people were, and how they interacted. When the night was over, she was sad to have it end.

  Until he reached for her hand and smiled down at her. She looked up at him, haloed in the streetlight glow, the mist refracting the light like twinkling stars all around him, and her heart caught in her chest. His gaze, so direct and clear, showed a myriad of feelings— tenderness, happiness, concern, desire. In that second, she was falling for him. Hard.

  “Did you have fun, Keira?”

  “I did. You?”

  He squeezed her hand and nodded, then tucked her arm in his as they hurried towards the parking garage. Though the air was warm, Keira had a chill from the dampness, or perhaps it was nerves. They were going back to his place. He caught her shiver from the corner of his eye and turned on the heat for her and the stereo. It was on low, something bluesy and slow and she relaxed.

  “Uh oh, you’re either sleepy or nervous.”

  “Hmm? What makes you say that” she asked, surprised.

  “You’re twirling your hair. You do that when you’re tired or anxious.”

  “Well, aren’t you the observant one, Detective? You are correct, I was thinking about our night, your friends... this moment. I’m thinking about how I feel.”

  “And how is it that you feel, Keira?”

  They were at a red light, so Kyle turned fully to her, wanting to see her face when she answered.

  “Happy. Content. Right.”

  He smiled and reached for her hand as the light changed to green.

  “Those are all good feelings. So, why does that make you nervous?”

  “I just... it’s—” she, a woman who got paid for words she wrote, couldn’t find the ones to speak.

  “You’re afraid it’s not real. That something will go wrong. And you’re wondering where this’ll go. Something like that?”

  She turned to look at his profile as he drove through them through the city, street lamps illuminating his face at intervals. A soft smile played on his lips, the hint of his dimple showing. He kept his eyes on the road, but he was fully attuned to her, her response.

  “Yes, Darcy. Something like that.”

  They drove in a comfortable silence and soon turned onto a winding cul-de-sac, following it to the end and pulling into a long driveway that met a charming ranch style home. A soft glow illuminated a small front porch, and two small dogs barked from the large bay window beside it. A wide smile broke across her face at the sight, and some of the nervousness that had risen again, simmered.

  “I forgot that I was going to get to meet your boys tonight. They look so cute, Kyle.”

  “Oh, they are. Whiskey’s a train wreck, but Bailey is cool and mellow. C’mon, I’ll introduce you.”

  She noted the neglected shrubs and plants growing over their borders and resisted the urge to de-head his petunia plant.

  Kyle, ever observant and intuitive said, “Looks like crap out here. I never have time for it. Plus, it’s not my thing.”

  She resisted the impulse to say, ‘I’ll take car
e of it for you.’ That’s what old Keira would’ve said. New Keira was not making this an insta-relationship. If they still saw each other down the road, and if it became serious, then she would consider offering to help. Not on their fifth date though.

  “This is a great street,” she said instead.

  “Yeah, it really is. Tucked away, mostly quiet,” Kyle called back as he unlocked the door. “Get ready, the boys will jump all over you.”

  Sure enough, the moment the door opened, two cream-colored fur balls bound out the door and greeted her. One, who she assumed was Bailey, was more assertive and calm, while the other shook and leaped with nervousness and excitement. Kyle wrangled them inside, shaking his head and chuckling.

  “Sorry about that. I’ll put them outside. Have a seat.”

  He nodded his head to a dark brown leather sofa and flicked on the wall sconces, dimming them for a softer glow and walked away with the dogs in tow. Keira peered around. The front door had led them into an ample, open living room. Straight ahead was a dining area, to its right was what she presumed to be the kitchen. His furnishings were masculine and stylish. He liked the colonial style by the plentitude of wrought iron accents and pine wood. Not her taste, but she appreciated the warmth and coziness it provided. She realized she was relieved to see that his wasn’t a contemporary, cold style, but rather an inclination for comfort.

  As she sat down on the sofa, she noted the Marine sword in its display case over the fireplace and the family photos on the mantle, as well as the ones scattered around the room. They were consistent in their subjects, being mostly an assortment of his mother and stepfather, his dogs, and one of his father and stepmother. She studied one in particular. It was a younger version of him in his Marine uniform, standing beside his mother who positively beamed with pride.

  After a moment she could hear Kyle in the kitchen, dropping ice into glasses and the pouring of beverages. Low music, like what he’d played in the car began, filling the room with an ambiance that matched the smooth, sultry vibe they had in the car. He came around the corner, two glasses of white wine over ice in hand.