by Honor Gable
"I know."
She winds her arm through mine as we sit and choke down our breakfast. Maybe I should tell her everything and she can help me try to figure out how to help these people.
I've half convinced myself to tell her everything once we've marched to work. Throughout the morning, I change my mind fourteen times. We're breaking our backs digging up potatoes and carrots again. The guard is here, watching. I'm able to slip a couple carrots under my clothes today. Thought it would make a nice change for us. It'll go well with mathematics night.
I work a little harder, the thought bringing a little burst of energy. I've found I really enjoy math. At least with the way the women teach it here. I still could care less about literature nights, but math is fascinating. I've become Beatka's favorite student.
Lore sniffles beside me.
I peer at her sideways. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Lore."
She brushes my hand away. "Quit. You'll draw attention to us. It's nothing."
Unconvinced, but knowing we can't make a scene, I drop it. For now. I keep glancing at her over the next hour, trying to read her, but she's closed herself off from me. At the meal, I try again, but she strikes up conversation with one of the other workers. Cold worry trickles down my spine. Is she sick and doesn't want to admit it? My powers have kept me safe from the illnesses spreading through the camp. What the hell is going on?
My back screams at me to change positions, but there isn't a better one other than standing. If I stand, I'll be beaten. If this hell ever ends, I'll probably be a hunchback. Nina's spine is already crooked, from hunching over sewing uniforms in dim lighting, trying to see. I always know the days she has to pick uniforms from the dead. She comes in and goes right to sleep. Or pretends to anyway.
The guard clears his throat and my head flies up to stare at him. He frowns and I duck my chin, peering up at him from under my lashes. He steps closer and his voice carries over to my ears.
"Your friend has been selected to leave for one of the satellite camps. The French one."
Henri? Gone?
No. I can't make it here without her. Her or Nina. We'll have to hide her. I've heard rumors of women hiding to keep from being sent away. She can't leave. She can't.
A scream clogs in my throat, fighting for freedom and another piece of my heart breaks off and turns to ash.
I've already lost everyone else I love. The rest of the family I've somehow created. I refuse to lose any more.
CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR
VIOLA
I fumble with my gun, trying to get it up and aimed as we retreat farther into the woods. Xavier and Rivka peek from behind trees, firing. Covering us so we can run. Every other sound in the forest falls silent except for the pop pop pops of the guns. I hear no screams, no begs for mercy, no death.
Lois and I scoot back to back behind the tree and take turns firing, just like Xavier and Rivka a few trees down from us. They throw us more ammo and we reload. I can't tell where anyone else is, but they're still shooting on the other side of the road. Theo must have joined Axel's team at some point because there's no sign of him.
Time stands still, the only thing moving are the bullets which never seem to find a mark. Splinters and pieces of bark slice through my skin, the stench of gunpowder burning my nose. I squint my eyes. My arms ache from keeping the gun aimed, my finger barely able to keep firing. Blood pours from a gash on my palm I sliced open from reloading yet again.
We're getting nowhere.
Lois and I exchange another glance, mine questioning, hers determined.
As one, our heads twist to look at Rivka and Xavier, seeing they're already staring at us. The four of us nod together, and Lois and I move. Within a few seconds we're on the side of the patrol. Rivka and Xavier have moved farther to the right so we aren't shooting at each other. Blood sprays now from the shoulders of two soldiers and they fall to the ground. I remember the training we had where our instructor told us it was better to injure because then the healthy have to take care of the wounded and it's lovely to see how right he was. Both men go down and another one crouches down beside them.
Still six left firing.
They'll join the others who torture me later. Right now, satisfaction is the only emotion welling in me.
The tree I lean against digs into me, scratching at my skin and my head pounds with adrenaline, my aim getting worse from my twitching arms. White and black creep along my vision, but I force it away.
Everything hurts. My back, arms, legs, fingers. My palm pounds along with my heartbeat, the blood now coating my hand making my grip on the gun slippery.
Careful to keep our aim away from our comrades, we keep shooting. Another goes down, though I'm not sure who's bullet it was. I count four still standing as I reload. I yank at Lois's pants leg and she spins and crouches down beside me.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm getting low on bullets. This isn't working much better."
She frowns. "I know."
"Let's go back to the other side and tell them we'll try to lead them away."
She gives a short nod and disappears to tell Rivka and Xavier the plan. In less than a minute she reappears beside me and we spring the trap, firing and running, drawing them farther away. We keep going like this for at least three minutes, wanting to give our comrades their best chance. Lois grunts and I take my eyes away from the death I'm desperately trying to dole out and look down. Her right arm hangs at her side, blood blooming along her side.
"You're hit." Eerily similar to the same place Dorothy was hurt.
"I'm fine. It's time to go. You go right, I'll go left and we'll make a circle, meeting in the middle in ten kilometers."
"But—-"
"Go. Now."
Everything in me protests at leaving her, bleeding and alone, but there's no other choice, and the steel in her eyes says she'll leave me if I don't go.
"Vi, you can't protect everyone yourself. It's not your responsibility. Sometimes you have to have faith it'll work out."
I pop off another few rounds. "What if it doesn't?"
"It will."
There's no more time to argue. We clasp hands for the slightest second and we're gone, slowly at first, so they realize there's two trails to follow. The patrol yells in clipped tones, but I can't make out anything they're saying. I'm too far away to tell if any of them went after Lois, but I know they're after me.
I stay just far enough ahead they can't reach me, but not too far they stop running. I want them far away from the others. I count my strides in my head, throwing a few shots over my shoulder just in case, and when I hit nine kilometers, I put on all the speed I have to get to the tenth. I turn left, hoping I counted right and slow down, sweeping my eyes back and forth, searching for her. Now is not the time for me to get lost. We should be close to the others, but I'm terrified I'm lost.
I almost stomp all over her.
My knees hit the ground beside her, my hands pressing and slipping into her blood. "Lois."
She chokes a little. "Sorry. I guess using my powers sped up my blood loss."
Tears stream down my face and drip onto my hands, making clear rivulets in the blood, which turn pink and red immediately after. "Do you think you can climb on my back? I'll carry you and we'll get you help."
"You—you and I both know, there's no help anywhere around." She stops speaking, battling for breath. "Not for me. And it's okay. We saved them. We got away. And I'm free."
My head shakes. "No. No. You're going to be fine. You just have to keep fighting." I rip off my shirt one handed and press it into her wound, biting back a sob when it soaks through with red within seconds.
Her face is chalky and her lips have already dried out. "It's okay. It's better this way. I was never going to be normal or happy back in England. Not after what I did. The rest of you don't have that hanging over your heads. You have families and lovers waiting for you. No one will miss me."
"
I will. I will miss you." I sniff, swallowing snot and tears. This can't be happening. We've already lost Audrey. We're supposed to go home.
Her hand reaches up and cups my face. "I know. But I'll have died making the world a safer place. We did good here. I feel a little bit forgiven for what I've done. And maybe now I'll be with my babies."
"Lois, no." My lips soaked with tears and snot tremble.
Her brown eyes light up with peace. "It was the best of times, eh? It was for me. The best of times, the spring of hope."
I throw myself over her as racing footsteps head straight for us. At least we'll meet our ends together. And she's right. We died protecting the ones we love. We died free. We're like the stars going out in the night sky. Even though they're gone, more remain to shine their light onto the world. It's our turn to make our journey to the valley of dying stars.
I whisper Dickens as a benediction over both of us. "It's a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done. It is a far, far better rest that I go to that I have ever known."
CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE
AUDREY
Hunched against the cooler wind sweeping through, I march along back from the gardens. Henri is leaving. Probably to a satellite camp. The SS keep their eyes open for able bodied women to send off with this one growing so crowded.
If we don't hide her, we'll probably never see her again.
A group of children are playing down a small alley and seeing them always makes my stomach roll. So stunted and sickly looking. One little girl stands of front of the others who have lined up and they're playing roll call. She has a little stick she keeps smacking into her hand as she paces before them.
The world has completely gone wonky.
Kids don't even know how to play anymore. They haven't been taught proper games.
My throat aches with the scream of rage fighting to rip from me.
I don't know how much longer I can do this.
The guard has still been letting me steal food, but hasn't spoken to me once before today. Hasn't asked for anything. Nothing.
I wait for the other shoe to drop.
My humanity is slipping away, and I care less and less about cleanliness or culture or anything other than sleep and food.
I dream of food every night now.
No longer is it nightmares of horrors in my past and present. Now it's images and even the smells of all my favorite foods playing through my mind every night, and I wake up even hungrier.
I take my place in line, ready for whatever horror comes next.
Our group eyes one another uneasily as we're lined up. We were let off work after lunch and while it'd be nice to think we're getting a holiday, we aren't that stupid. I look for Henri, needing to tell her she's being sent away. We have to plan
An SS officer stalks over, his medals gleaming dull. "We've been informed someone from this block helped those who tried to escape last night."
Whispers and shifting feet break out through the lines. Dread turns my stomach upside down.
I keep my face clear and body immobile even as my stomach falls to my feet and my heart stops beating. The SS officer picks a Polish woman from the front of the line. An older one, in her fifties. This can't be happening.
Nina rips from my grasp, and pushes to the front before I can stop her. Lore moans beside me and I ache to hold her to my side, but we can't. Things are bad enough.
The SS officer stares down at Nina, exchanging words with her I can't hear. Bile burns my throat at the thought of having to watch them beat her the same way they did Henri. Every part of me is poised and aching to run to her and kill the Nazis. I hate how helpless we are here. No way to fight back. Every time we do, someone else suffers.
He pulls out his gun and with one shot, she lies crumpled at his feet. Dead. I'm unable to stop the scream from scraping from my throat.
The world tilts and spins, everything blurring into grey.
The next thing I'm aware of is holding Lore in my arms in our box while she finally lets out the sobs for all she's lost. Her skin burns me. She has a fever.
My tears join hers.
And others from our block gather around us, putting their hands on us in comfort, murmuring words, saying prayers.
But Nina is still dead and Henri is leaving.
CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX
VIOLA
Roars ring in my ears while I tense, waiting for the shot. Instead, hands rip me away from her. I fight, screaming and twisting. My hands were holding in her blood. What's keeping her blood inside now?
"No! Let me go. Or shoot me! No."
I can't tell how many hands pull at me, but it feels like twenty, bruising my skin as they try to stop my flailing limbs. I use fingernails and kicks to get them off me and throw myself back over Lois. Everything in me bleeds and breaks and I just want to get back to her.
A hand clamps over my mouth, cutting off my shrieks. Noise finally returns to my ears and a familiar whisper breaks through. "Viola, stop. It's us. Viola, shhhh. Stop."
Rivka.
My body slackens, and they ease me to the ground. Xavier clutches me in his lap. Rivka kneels with her head bowed over Lois, sobs shaking her shoulders. Shrugging from Xavier's grip, I crawl over to them.
"Is she gone?" I ask, my voice cracking and hoarse.
Rivka nods and her arms wrap around me on both sides. Xavier stands guard, gun at the ready. We bow our heads over her, and I send up prayers, hoping she's found peace in the valley of dying stars, part of me wrecked I didn't get to go with her.
I was ready to die.
Rivka disengages her arm from mine and uses her sleeve to mop up her face. I'm out of tears. Out of sadness. Out of everything. The only thing left is a flickering flame of fury that I blow on until it rages and burns through me. My fingers reach out and dig Lois's bracelet from her pocket, handing it to Rivka. She takes it, pinching the bridge of her nose with her other hand, and puts it in her own pocket. Xavier's hand moves from my shoulders and slides up and down on my back. I lean into it, allowing myself this one moment of comfort.
We still at the sound of stomping footsteps headed straight for us. They've found us. We scramble for weapons and cover, and wait. It doesn't take them long to appear through the trees and we open fire before they even see us. And we're right back to where we were an hour ago. Except Axel and his team are nowhere to be found. Rivka is beside me this time and we mirror each other just like Lois and I did.
Xavier is across the path from us, Lois's crumpled body behind him, his gun strapped to him, firing from the waist, face grim and grey. His body snaps back and he falls, my scream loud and shrill through the trees.
No.
No.
No. He can't be dead too. I refuse to lose one more person.
I'm kneeling by his side in less than a heartbeat, ripping the bottom of his shirt off and pressing it into the wound on his shoulder.
He opens pain hazed eyes and smiles a little. "It's all right, Madeline. Just wrap me up and keep fighting."
Once he's taken care of and sitting up, aiming his gun from his lap, I dart back to Rivka. Two more soldiers go down.
When she uses her last bullet, she spits out something in Hebrew and drops her gun, her hands raised as yellow streaming from her. She tries to muffle her cries of pain, but I still hear them even through the screams of the soldiers who watch their comrades disintegrate before their eyes. She cuts her eyes over to Lois and grief and fury mix in her eyes and she screams, yellow streaks pouring out of her like fingers, reaching and aiming for each soldier, then swirling around, lighting up the forest, until it disappears.
And so do they.
Silence falls and we stare at her, our mouths loose with shock. She stares down at her hands like they've just betrayed her. "What was that?"
We don't answer. What is there to say?
"And look at my hands!" She turns them over and holds them out in a supplicating gesture. "No blisters."
My gun drops to
the ground with a clang and I grab her hands in mine, turning them over, holding them up to the light. My mind is blank, unable to understand what the devil is going on.
Xavier is the only one able to pull himself together. "It doesn't matter right now. We have to get out of here. The others must be pinned down. Damn, where did they get so many soldiers?" He winces and hunches his shoulder a little, trying to alleviate the pain.
"We can't leave Lois here." My words shrill and heartbroken echo back to me.
"We'll come back for her. I promise. But we have to go now."
Lois's broken body is the last thing I see before we disappear back through the woods.
CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN
AUDREY
It takes us thirty minutes to wake up Lore. There's no time for a wash or to relieve ourselves. She's soaked and burning with a fever, barely able to speak around her sore and raspy throat. Her cough kept Henri and I up most of the night.
She leans against us, her lids hooded and body trembling, out to appel. I'll sneak her back into the block once it's over and the guard won't say anything if she doesn't show up to work. He hasn't wanted anything from me yet. It seems I've found the one human Nazi.
She has to stand under her own strength for this, and I hope she makes it. If she falls, they'll whip her. And I'll have to kill them.
She makes it. I barely do, my body tense and terrified. If they find out she's sick, they'll send her to Block 10, The Cemetery.
We hide her deep in the back of the block, borrowing several blankets to pile up on her. If our kapo finds her here, I doubt she'll say anything. We have to hurry to make it back outside before they notice we aren't there, eating. Another meal, missed.
Our hands reach and squeeze before we part. It's going to be a long day, worried about what we'll find when the day is over. Henri refuses to hide with Lore so ill. They could come for her any day. We haven't had a chance to really grieve Nina yet either. Too busy trying to keep Lore alive.
