Expecting You

by Claire Cullen

“Hmm.” She turned her attention back to the screen, angling the probe slightly as she pressed buttons with her free hand. “Well, this fetus is measuring about forty days, give or take a day or two. And there’s no sign of an implant. If they’d placed one, I’d be able to see it.”

  She lifted the probe off his stomach, and he breathed a short-lived sigh of relief.

  “You were conscious for the procedure?”

  “N…no. I’m Type-S. Sedation is mandatory.”

  It stopped accidental shifting under stress, which was dangerous for everyone involved.

  “And it was your regular doctor, one you knew?”

  “No, she was out with the flu. There was another doctor covering.”

  “Well, Isaac, I’m sorry to be the bearer of such strange news. All I can tell you is what the results of your tests have shown. There is no sign of any implant and no evidence that you were ever implanted with one. What you do have is a positive pregnancy test and a nearly six-week-old fetus. I would suggest making contact with your clinic at the earliest opportunity for follow-up and clarification.”

  “What do you think happened?” Zac was afraid to let his mind consider the possibilities.

  “I don’t like to speculate normally, but I can see you’re anxious. Since you’re certain you haven’t been sexually active, and since you don’t ovulate with hyper-heats anyway, the only possibility I can see given your medical history is that a mistake was made. Instead of implanting a contraceptive device, they implanted an embryo. You were in a highly fertile state due to your runaway hormones, so the embryo took easily.”

  “I’m carrying someone else’s baby inside me?”

  “That’s the only explanation that fits what you’ve told me and what your tests show. Now, if you gave me the name of the clinic you attended, I could get a copy of your notes and—”

  Zac shook his head wordlessly. That would open up a whole can of worms he wasn’t prepared for.

  “I see. Well, you have options on how to proceed from here.” The doctor didn’t even blink at his refusal. Like Harper said; they didn’t ask awkward questions.

  “Do I have to tell them? The clinic? I mean, this baby doesn’t belong to me, right?”

  She shook her head.

  “Your body, your baby. From the moment the embryo implants, the only person who has a claim on it is you. Until birth, that is. Then it gets more complicated. With surrogacy, the surrogate sometimes signs a contract beforehand which stipulates that the fetus they carry isn’t legally theirs. Unless there’s something you’ve neglected to tell me, in your case, there’s no contract. Your body, your choice.”

  “You mean… I don’t have to have the baby if I don’t want to?”

  “That’s exactly what I mean. But there are other considerations you need to be made aware of.”

  “Like what?”

  “If you end the pregnancy, your heats will return to what they were before. With no implant…”

  “I’ll be back to never-ending heat cycles and not being able to hold down a job.” He considered that for a moment, “But I can’t have the baby. I can barely support myself, let alone a kid. The kind of nannying I do isn’t the kind you can fit your own child-rearing around. And what if my heats go haywire again?”

  The doctor considered that.

  “You wouldn’t have to raise the child. Though you should be aware that giving up a child is a very difficult choice for an omega, you should also consider that somewhere out there is a family who very much wants this baby. I’m sure that, in return for your safely delivering it, they—or the clinic involved—would be willing to cover the cost of another implant, plus cover any medical expenses. They usually also pay money to cover things like lost wages. If that’s an option you’re willing to consider, it would be worth exploring.”

  Zac groaned, hiding his face in his hands. “I can’t go back to that clinic, I—” He gave the doctor a pleading look.

  She patted his hand. “I won’t ask for details, but you should know that there are very few occasions where doctors are required to report anything, no matter the legality. If you told me you’d murdered someone at the clinic, I might have to make a call. But if you owed them money, for example, that’s none of my business.”

  Zac laughed despite himself. “No murders. But it’s a little more complicated than owing them money. And it’s not just me who’d get in trouble if it came to light.”

  “Then I suspect you have some thinking to do and a decision to make. Try not to take too long in making it. I put a note in your file so if you schedule a follow-up, we’ll squeeze you in as soon as we can.”

  “Thanks, Dr. Jacobs.”

  “Would you like a picture from the scan? You can’t see much, just a blob, but we have paper in the printer for once.”

  “Uh, okay. Thanks.”

  After a quick visit to the bathroom, he stumbled out of the doctor’s office minutes later with a leaflet and a small ultrasound photo tucked into his pocket and out of sight. Harper was still standing in the waiting room, leaning against the wall, reading his phone.

  “Harper.”

  The omega pushed upright with a smile.

  “I was beginning to wonder if you’d left without me. You were ages in there. What did they say?”

  Zac grabbed him by the arm and hustled him outside. All he wanted to do now was get home.

  “They said I’m fine. It’s just side effects. It’ll settle down.”

  Harper eyed him dubiously. “You’re sure?”

  “It’s my body adjusting to the hormones. They said to come back and see them if it doesn’t settle.”

  Lying to Harper wasn’t something he did, ever. But this was too much for him to deal with right now. He wanted to bury his head in the sand or stick his fingers in his ears. Anything if it meant he could ignore the truth.

  This was someone’s baby. Someone’s wanted, prayed-for, hoped-for baby. But Zac couldn’t tell anyone the truth without getting people he cared about, people who’d helped him, into trouble. He needed to keep his mouth shut and figure out what to do.

  Chapter Ten

  Beckett had hoped to give Zac some time to settle into his rooms on Monday morning, but Zac didn’t get to do more than set his bags down and grab some breakfast before they were leaving for Luca’s appointment at the hospital. Zac had offered to accompany them, and Beckett had eagerly taken him up on it. It was hard to juggle caring for Luca while talking to the doctor, and there were things he didn’t want Luca to overhear.

  “Are you sure you’re comfortable moving in today? It’s okay if you need a little more time.” It hadn’t escaped Beckett’s notice that Zac hadn’t brought much with him. Just a suitcase and a backpack. Maybe he’d bring more later.

  “No, I think Luca’s ready, and I’m sure Harper is happy to have me off his couch.”

  “Right. Well, that’s great. For us and your friend.”

  Zac tried to hide a smile, turning back to check on Luca, who was playing happily with a teddy bear.

  “Uh…” Beckett hesitated, unsure how to word what he wanted to say. “So, about having friends over. We probably should set some ground rules.”

  “It’s already in the contract I signed,” Zac said. “No overnight guests, no parties. And I check with you before having someone over in my free time.”

  “Yeah, I know what the standard contract says. I always thought those rules were a little strict. I mean, you should still be able to live a normal life. There’s a whole separate entrance to your apartment. If you want to have overnight guests, it won’t bother us.”

  He wasn’t expecting Zac to disagree with him. but the omega was full of surprises.

  “Actually, studies show it can cause stress and anxiety for young children to be exposed to unfamiliar alpha scents in their own home. Especially a Type-S like Luca. But I would like to have friends over occasionally. If you’re happy with overnights, Harper might stay now and then.”

  Becket
t didn’t need to ask to know that Harper was an omega. Omegas gravitated toward each other. They rarely got close with betas, and almost never had casual, platonic friendships with alphas.

  “I didn’t realize that about other alpha scents. What about my friends and colleagues?”

  “That’s different. They’re your friends, connected to you. The whole scent pattern they give off is different from an alpha who’s sexually interested in an omega.” Zac blushed suddenly, as if realizing what he’d said. “Sorry, I just find this kind of stuff fascinating.”

  “It is fascinating. There’s so much we don’t know. Anything that’ll make Luca more comfortable, I’m happy to hear it.”

  They pulled into the hospital parking lot, and Beckett carried Luca inside. Zac followed with the bag he’d packed for Luca. Beckett hadn’t seen what went into it, but he guessed some snacks, and maybe a book or a toy. He’d warned Zac that their appointments ran long sometimes.

  They met the nurse first, and she ran through the normal checks. Then there was the blood draw, which Luca hated but they got through. Beckett had long ago learned how best to distract him during it. Zac watched with curiosity as Beckett made shadow puppets on the wall using his hands and a lamp borrowed from the nurse’s desk. Luca, for his part, clapped and giggled at the entertainment.

  There were some scans, and then a wait for all the results to come in before they were ushered into Dr. Khalid’s office. He smiled brightly at them, talking to Luca first before turning to Beckett.

  Beckett set Luca on the floor, and the toddler made a beeline for the basket of toys on one side of the room. Zac followed, keeping him distracted while Beckett and the doctor talked. Beckett could tell Zac was listening in. If it was him, that’s what he’d be doing.

  It was the same news as it always was. Further deterioration noted, no slowing of disease progression.

  “I think we need to consider starting another round of treatment soon. It looks like it’s accelerating. We need to buy Luca more time for your plan to come to fruition. Any word yet on whether that was successful?”

  Not wanting to get into the complexities of the situation, Beckett kept it vague. “There’s been some complications. We’re hoping to get them ironed out as soon as possible.”

  “Sooner would be better than later. Even a dose of stem cells right now would make a huge difference. We’re talking months to years of stability. And bone marrow…”

  Bone marrow was the holy grail. That wouldn’t just buy them time; that would save Luca’s life.

  They discussed when to start the next treatment. Beckett was reluctant to rush it. Luca was so fragile already, and the treatments took their toll.

  “If we wait longer than a month, we risk him being too weak when the time comes. I suggest we start prepping him next week and begin the week after.”

  “If that’s what you think is best,” Beckett agreed. He turned in his chair, watching Luca play with Zac. “I’ll do anything if it means we keep him well.”

  “Then do whatever you can to get him those stem cells. The rest is just sandbanks that can’t hold back the tide.”

  They returned to the car, Luca falling asleep as they drove home. Beckett sensed that Zac had questions, though the omega was steadfastly holding his silence.

  “If there’s anything you want to know, ask. You’re going to be as much Luca’s caregiver in these next few months as I am. And we might be in for a rough time.”

  Zac nodded slowly, his mouth turned down.

  “What treatment is he starting?”

  “Immunotherapy. The first time wasn’t so bad, but he had a rough go of it the second time around. This one could go either way.”

  “And it’s slowing the progression of his disease?”

  “Every treatment gives him an extra half-year, approximately. But we can only do three or four. For most people, their tolerance gets worse over time. Dr. Khalid mentioned a new pre-treatment protocol which might make it more tolerable. We won’t know if it works until we start, though. And once we start, there’s no stopping, or we waste one of his chances.”

  “I’ll do some reading up on it,” Zac promised. “I’ve looked after kids on chemo before, so I know those kinds of treatments can be tough.”

  “Thank you, I’d appreciate that.”

  They lapsed into silence, and Beckett thought that was it. But Zac surprised him once more.

  “The doctor mentioned something about stem cells and bone marrow?”

  “He did.” Beckett hesitated before explaining, “The only real treatments for Luca’s condition are stem cells or a bone marrow transplant from an unaffected but close genetic match. It’s proven almost impossible to find one, even amongst our nearest relatives.”

  “But it sounded like there was some hope. Is Luca on a transplant list?”

  “He’s been on it since he was a few months old. The chances of a suitable match being found are so small that it would be like winning the lottery three times in a row.”

  “Then I don’t understand. How…?”

  “Luca was born by IVF. Darcy and I had half a dozen more embryos. A sibling for Luca is the only hope of saving him. I know some people don’t think that’s right, but Darcy and I always wanted a big family. If he was here right now, I know he’d agree. I’d rather have two healthy children than one dead one.”

  He forced himself to take a deep breath. People found it easy to stand on the sidelines and judge. If they walked a mile in his shoes, they’d know why he made the choices he did.

  “That doesn’t sound like an easy decision.” Zac was choosing his words carefully. “But it’s your choice, and I think most parents would make that same one. I would if I was in your shoes.”

  There was heaps of compassion and understanding in Zac’s voice.

  “Thanks,” Beckett managed, his voice cracking. “It means a lot to hear someone say that.”

  It was a relief to get Luca home. Beckett carried him to his bedroom, and Zac hurried ahead of them, pulling back the bedspread so he could lay him down. Together, they got his shoes and outer layer of clothes off so he could sleep comfortably. Zac closed the curtains, dimming the light in the room, while Beckett tucked Luca in and kissed his forehead. They stepped out, and he closed the door.

  “He’s always tuckered out after an appointment. He’ll be cranky at dinner and maudlin by bedtime.”

  “Maudlin, huh? We’ll manage.” Zac rested a hand on Beckett’s arm. “He’s lucky to have you. Not every parent would fight so hard.”

  Beckett knew his smile was worn around the edges.

  “I feel like I’ve been fighting since the moment he was born. A constant, uphill battle.”

  His phone beeped, and he knew he should answer it, but his mind was as worn as his smile.

  “Coffee?”

  “I’ll make it,” Zac said. “You look like you could use a nap yourself.”

  “A jolt of caffeine, and I’ll be right as rain.”

  Zac’s knowing look told him the omega wasn’t buying it. Up close, Beckett thought Zac was looking a little peaky himself.

  “Settling in okay?”

  “I just got here,” the omega pointed out with a laugh.

  “I mean… overall.”

  “It’s going well so far.”

  Before Beckett could make things more awkward, Zac disappeared into the kitchen. Beckett washed up and joined him there a few minutes later, gratefully accepting the mug of coffee Zac passed across the breakfast counter. The omega took a seat opposite him, cradling a cup of tea.

  “Hadn’t pegged you for a tea drinker.”

  Zac smiled down at his cup. “Don’t get me wrong, I love coffee. Though my absolute favorite hot drink is chocolate. In truth, I’m a child at heart.”

  “Is that why you can still change form?” he teased.

  “Once a Type-S, always a Type-S.”

  “Not for me,” Beckett pointed out. “Not for lots of people.”

 
Zac sat up, giving Beckett his full attention.

  “Are you saying you could shift as a child, and you can’t now?”

  “Sure. I grew out of it, like most people.”

  The omega glanced down at his tea, trying to hide a smile. “That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it? Did you grow out of it, or were you just told you’d grow out of it, so you believed you should?”

  “Well, I haven’t shifted in years, so I’m guessing it’s the latter.”

  Zac’s fingers traced the rim of his cup. “Have you tried? I mean really, properly tried?”

  Beckett considered the question, trying to remember back to his teenage years. When he recalled shifting, what he remembered most was his parents’ disapproval. He’d kept his shifter form later than most, and they were almost… embarrassed by him. The hot feeling of shame was all too vivid.

  “I guess I stopped trying. And by the time I thought to try again, it was too late.”

  “Some people think it’s never too late. That’s why Type-S’s have to be sedated for even routine hospital procedures.”

  “Hospitals are known for being overcautious. And stress brings out the worst in people.”

  “Oh, so that’s how it is, is it? Your shifter side is your worst side?”

  Despite his words, Zac’s smile was teasing.

  “You know that’s not what I meant.”

  “I know. I just feel kids would have an easier time coming to terms with their natures if they had more role models. It frustrates me that they don’t.” Zac winced and aimed an apologetic smile his way. “I’ll get off my soapbox now.”

  Beckett shook his head. “No, you’re passionate about what you do. I think that’s great. I don’t want some emotionless nanny-bot looking after my kid. I want someone who’s got heart.”

  He reached across the table, almost brushing his hand against Zac’s before he remembered himself. This was a relationship that had to stay professional, for Luca’s sake.

  Zac didn’t seem to notice the near mishap, taking another idle sip of his tea.

  “So, when do you think Luca will have his little brother or sister?”

  Reality crashed down hard.