Expecting You

by Claire Cullen

  Zac had agreed to spend Sunday with them and help Luca through his change.

  “I want to try,” Beckett told him over breakfast while the two of them coaxed Luca into eating his oatmeal. “When you and Luca shift, I want to be there. I want to join in if I can, or just keep an eye on things if I can’t.”

  The warm smile Zac sent his way eased the worst of the guilt that troubled him.

  “You’re a good man, Beckett. And a good father. I was thinking we’d try early this afternoon, right after lunch. Before little people get too tired.”

  He turned to Luca.

  “What do you say, Luca? Are we going to play animals for real today?”

  Beckett was taken aback when Luca’s eyes lit up, and he nodded eagerly.

  “Can Daddy play too?”

  “Of course he can. We’ll all play together.”

  Luca looked to him, his eye shining with hope.

  “I wouldn’t miss it for the world, kiddo.”

  Zac insisted on shifter-proofing the house before they started, which seemed to mainly consist of closing doors to rooms they wouldn’t want Luca to run into in his animal form. By the end, the playroom, the lounge, the bathroom, and at Beckett’s insistence, the attic, were the only rooms open to them.

  Zac prepared drinks and snacks in bowls they could easily access without hands, and then the three of them proceeded to the playroom.

  Once they were inside, the omega seemed to lose some of his confidence.

  “Uh… I guess I should shift first, to show Luca how it’s done. And then you can be there to encourage him. Unless you want to give it a go yourself?”

  Beckett shook his head. “I don’t want to drag this out for Luca. We could be waiting a long time for me to get my ass in gear.”

  He winced as he said it, hoping Luca hadn’t heard that. Thankfully, the toddler was much more interested in crawling around the floor on his knees.

  “Okay, then.” Zac turned to Luca with a smile. “Ready to play becoming animals?”

  Luca bounced on the floor. “Yay! You first.”

  “That’s right. Watch closely, huh? You don’t want to miss it.”

  Zac glanced at Beckett again, their eyes meeting. “Maybe you could wait right outside the door? Or even just turn your back? I’m quite fond of this outfit.”

  Beckett felt himself flush. He’d been staring right at Zac when the omega needed to undress in preparation for changing form.

  “Right, sorry.”

  He turned and headed toward the door, hesitating at the threshold.

  “Is here okay? I don’t want to go too far in case…”

  Mainly in case Luca freaked out. He hadn’t exactly watched a lot of people change form, even though he’d done it himself a handful of times.

  “There’s fine. Um, I should probably get Luca undressed too. Just being this close to me during the change might be enough to trigger him to shift.”

  “Of course.” Besides, what kid didn’t like escaping from the confines of their clothing?

  “Ready to get changed?” Zac asked Luca. “We don’t want to make a mess of our clothes, do we?”

  “No,” Luca offered innocently, when they both knew he liked nothing better than to jump in puddles, play in the mud, and smear whatever was at hand over his Sunday best. “Daddy play too?”

  “Soon, kiddo. It’s Zac’s turn first.”

  He heard a giggle a minute later, and the sound of Luca zipping around— sans clothing, at a guess—and Zac trying to unsuccessfully smother a laugh at his antics.

  “Sit down for a minute, Luca. I’m ready to play. Watch now.”

  All went quiet for a moment before Beckett thought of something.

  “Wait, Zac,” he said urgently. “I never asked what kind of animal you—”

  He heard a gasp from Luca and the murmured words, “Pretty kitty,” and spun around to find a leopard in the middle of the playroom.

  Luca was transfixed, and Beckett wasn’t much better.

  The toddler pushed to his feet and weaved across the room, making a beeline for Zac.

  “Luca, hold on, don’t—”

  He careened right into the leopard, grabbing a tight hold of his fur. Beckett’s heart was in his mouth as he hurried over, ready to whisk Luca out of reach. But all Zac did was make a low purring sound, nudging at Luca with his nose.

  Luca giggled, petting Zac’s side clumsily. “Soft kitty.”

  Beckett crouched down next to him. “Be gentle with Zac, Luca.”

  He let go and turned, squealing with excitement. “My turn?”

  Struggling to let go of his reservations, he tried to smile at Luca. “Sure thing, buddy. Whenever you’re ready.”

  “Daddy play too?”

  “I—I’ll try, kiddo. You go first so Daddy can make sure you’re okay.” It seemed sensible to have at least one functioning human adult around.

  He took Luca’s hand and led him away from Zac, giving him the space he needed to make the change. Luca screwed up his face in concentration, closed his eyes, bared his teeth, and let out a tiny roar. A moment later, he peeked his eyes open, looked down at himself, then stared up at Beckett sadly.

  “It didn’t work.”

  Beckett had to struggle hard not to laugh at Luca’s adorable antics.

  “That’s okay. Let’s try again. I’ll help. You know what’ll make this easier? If we go on our hands and knees, like this.”

  He demonstrated, and Luca mimicked him, wobbling a little but keeping his balance. Beckett tried to remember back to when he was a child, to how it had felt.

  “Close your eyes, kiddo. Search inside for your animal. He’s in there somewhere.”

  He recalled doing that when he was lonely, sad, or frustrated. He’d search inside his mind to where his lion lurked and set it loose. Luca was a bit too young to understand the specifics of what he was trying to do. The more it sounded like a game, the easier it would be.

  “He’s probably playing hide and seek with you. It’s been a while since you two played together.”

  Luca kept sneaking looks at him and closing his eyes when he caught Beckett watching him. He needed more help than just words.

  “I’ve got another idea. Can I try something?”

  He glanced at Zac, who was crouched on all fours, watching them both but giving them space. Beckett eased Luca down onto the rug he was crouched on, laying him on his side.

  “Stay there for a second, okay?”

  Scent was a big part of shifting. He remembered the few times that he had, to his parents’ horror, shifted in public. Most times it was emotions that caught him off guard, but once or twice it had been the scent of another shifter.

  He went to Zac, holding out a hand. “May I?”

  Zac caught on quickly, rubbing against his hand with his cheek, transferring his scent. Beckett returned to Luca, settling a hand on his back, and rubbing firm circles. As their skin warmed, Zac’s scent rose up. He saw Luca’s little nose twitch, then there was the slightest spasm, and Luca opened his mouth and let out a tiny roar. That was all the warning he had before Luca’s form changed. The shift was rapid and dramatic, and Beckett backed away to give him space, grinning when that tiny roar grew in volume just a little, and he was faced with a bewildered lion cub.

  Luca tried to bound toward him, but his legs were shaky, not quite under his control yet, and he collapsed onto the floor. Beckett reached for him at the same time as Zac approached.

  The cub stared up at him balefully, as if this was all his fault. Beckett found he was smiling, beaming ear to ear.

  “You did it, Luca. My clever boy.”

  He helped him up, making sure he could support himself before letting go. Zac nudged Luca, and the cub playfully swiped at him. A second later, the two were tussling on the ground. Beckett was alarmed at first before he realized they were just playing, Luca growing bolder and more confident by the minute. The little lion turned to him, bounded over and snagged his shirt sleev
e between his teeth. It took a minute of persistent tugging for Beckett to get the message.

  “Alright, alright. I said I’d play, and I will. Or try to, at least.”

  Zac rubbed against his side, warming his skin as goosebumps covered him. He wasn’t sure he could do this. Maybe he wasn’t strong enough or brave enough to face the animal he’d turned his back on all those years ago.

  Luca took off chasing Zac’s tail, batting at it with his paws and squealing when Zac tugged his tail in turn. It reminded Beckett just why he was doing this. If Luca could be brave enough, could be strong enough, then he could too.

  He stood and shed his clothes, folding them neatly and setting them next to Zac and Luca’s. Being naked in front of a leopard felt a lot different than being naked in front of their nanny—even though, technically, the two were one and the same.

  Just as he’d told Luca to, he went to his hands and knees, closing his eyes and searching into the dark. Would his lion still be there? Would he understand? Forgive?

  The darkness inside seemed endless and empty. He was ready to give up, ready to admit to himself that this was the foolish wish of a boy who had grown up long ago, when Luca’s cub mewled. Inside Beckett, something stirred. He searched for it, called to it. Luca needed him, needed them.

  That presence in the shadows of his mind cautiously drew nearer. Beckett didn’t know how to convince him to come out of hiding. But he didn’t need to. He felt the brush of fur against his bare back, and a soft purr stroked his skin as the scent of omega filled his nose. And suddenly, his lion was sprinting, fast and furious. The change hit him like a sledgehammer, knocking him onto his side with a groan. He saw Zac pick up Luca by the scruff of his neck and carry him out of reach, setting him down and bracketing him with his front paws. And then the change consumed him, stole every crumb of his attention as sensations he hadn’t felt in years overwhelmed him.

  He returned to his senses slowly, feeling something pulling at him. No, not something. Someone. Luca was tugging at his mane while Zac tried to nudge him away. It took Beckett a moment to get his bearings, pushing up onto four paws as he looked around the room. His eyes caught in the mirror on the wall. His lion had grown a lot since the last time he’d shifted.

  Bending his head, he scented Luca, then straightened and met Zac’s eyes. The omega was calm and watchful, his attention mostly on Luca. Beckett moved away, checked the edge of the room, the door, the hallway, exploring their confines to satisfy his uneasy lion self. Once he was happy that all was as it should be, he returned to the playroom. Luca bounded for him the moment he appeared, running around him, then racing back to Zac. He looked so happy and carefree, so full of energy, and Beckett’s heart sang. He met Zac’s eyes and chuffed out a thank you, knowing he’d be understood. There’d be time for words later. For now, they’d play. And when Luca tired, they’d bring him up to the attic and let him sleep beneath the stars.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Zac woke to a giggle in his ear, feeling the sun on his bare skin. There was a warm weight across his lower back and a steady pressure against his hip.

  “Huh?”

  He lifted his head and peered around, trying to figure out the hows and whys. He was lying on his stomach, on the floor, his face turned to the side. Luca was crouched next to him, stark naked and beaming.

  “Hi, Zackie.”

  “Hey, sweetheart. Did I fall asleep?”

  He went to sit up, realizing the problem as he did. The weight on his back was Beckett’s arm, the alpha’s hand pressed against his hip. And Luca wasn’t the only one who’d misplaced his clothes—neither he nor Beckett had a stitch on them.

  It all came back to him in a rush: shifting, Luca changing, and Beckett joining them, the alpha’s lion fierce to behold but oh so gentle with his cub.

  The weight on his back disappeared as Beckett sat up with a yawn and stretched. The light played across the muscles of his chest, and Zac was momentarily distracted watching him before reality kicked into gear. He was naked and lying on the floor with his employer and his charge.

  “Uh…”

  He cast his eyes around for anything—a blanket, a towel—but there was only the rug that all three of them were lying on. That all three of them had clearly slept on, together, in a puppy pile of sorts.

  “Morning,” Beckett said, looking around the room in bemusement. “That worked well, I guess.”

  The alpha looked down at himself, his eyebrows shooting up into his hairline. Then he glanced at Luca, who seemed completely content, babbling softly as he sat between them. His eyes fell on Zac last, and Zac drew his knees up in a futile attempt to protect his modesty.

  “A few kinks to work out for next time, I guess.”

  Beckett snorted a second later, as if realizing what he’d said.

  A nervous laugh escaped Zac, but he swallowed it when Beckett’s eyes met his again.

  “Are you okay?” The alpha was suddenly worried, looking him up and down in concern.

  “Fine,” Zac hurried to say. “But how about you? Your first shift in… how long?”

  Yep, the best way to get through this was for both of them to pretend that there was nothing at all awkward about waking up naked together.

  “Uh… almost fifteen years, I guess. My lion’s changed a lot in all that time.”

  “You looked stunning,” Zac assured him. “I don’t think I’ve ever met a shifter as big as you. Well, I saw a bear once, at a distance.” That said, he hadn’t met too many adult shifters at all. Most, like Beckett, grew out of it.

  The alpha seemed faintly pleased with his praise. “You two stay here. I’ll be back in a minute.” He got to his feet and strode to the stairs.

  Zac tried not to stare, but it was hard to keep his eyes away from the casual confidence that Beckett exuded. The lion was the man, and the man the lion.

  “How do you feel, Luca? Are you hurting anywhere?”

  Shifting for the first time after an illness or a long break was hard on the body sometimes. He wouldn’t have known it with how easy Beckett was moving, but that didn’t mean Luca wasn’t feeling the effects.

  “No.” Luca bit his lip, the answer not quite ringing true.

  “How about, after breakfast, you have a nice warm bath with lots of bubbles? Doesn’t that sound like fun?”

  “With my duckies?”

  “Sure. As many bath toys as you like.”

  “Okay.”

  Luca smiled and threw himself at Zac, who caught the little boy in a hug.

  “You did so well yesterday, Luca. Playing animals can be hard sometimes.”

  “Can we play again?”

  “Of course we can.”

  Luca stretched up on his tiptoes to whisper in Zac’s ear. “Can Daddy play too?”

  “Daddy would love to play animals again, kiddo,” Beckett said, bounding up the stairs.

  He’d taken the time to dress. Well, he’d thrown on a pair of sweatpants. Zac wasn’t disappointed. Okay, maybe a little.

  Luca yawned loudly and squirmed his way to sitting on Zac’s knee. Beckett crouched next to them.

  “I, uh, didn’t want to go rooting in your room, Zac, so I brought you some of my clothes. I hope that’s okay.”

  “That’s fine,” Zac said quickly.

  Clothes were clothes, and they were infinitely better than walking around naked in front of Beckett or awkwardly clutching at a blanket to shield himself from view.

  “Come on, kiddo. Let’s get you dressed,” Beckett said, setting the bundle of clothes down next to Zac.

  He lifted Luca off Zac’s knee and moved so his back was to Zac, giving him some privacy while he dressed. Zac was grateful for it as he slipped the sweatpants up his legs and over his hips. They were too long on him and almost falling off at the waist, even when he tied them as tightly as he could. The shirt hit him at mid-thigh, but he wasn’t bothered by that, too busy rolling up the legs of the pants so he wouldn’t trip over them.

  “Br
eakfast?” he suggested as Beckett finished helping Luca into his clothes.

  “Bacon!” Luca cried, jumping up and down as Beckett struggled to get his T-shirt on over his head.

  “I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Beckett said, glancing at Zac.

  “Turkey bacon?” he countered. “And eggs? A high protein meal is good after shifting.”

  “Sounds great.” Beckett glanced up at the window and the sunlight beaming down on them. “I get the feeling it’s later than it feels. I should find my phone and…”

  “Go,” Zac told him. “I’ll check for damages and handle breakfast.”

  Beckett blinked. “Damages?”

  “A lion, a leopard, and a cub just had the run of half this house for almost a day. I doubt the house, and the furniture, were any more prepared for it than we were. There’s bound to be a few breakages.” He hesitated, worry gnawing at him. “Sorry, I should have warned you.”

  “No, you’re right. I should have worked that one out for myself. You weren’t closing off rooms just to keep little cubs out of mischief.” Beckett grinned at him, and Zac’s worry faded away.

  “Even big cubs can wreak havoc. We don’t always know our own strength when we change forms.”

  Zac shifted often enough to know his leopard’s abilities. But for Luca and Beckett, this was new territory. It took time to adjust to the shifter mindset.

  They split up, Zac heading for the kitchen with Luca while Beckett went to find his phone and ensure he hadn’t missed anything important for work. Halfway to the kitchen, their journey delayed by checking each room as they went, Zac’s stomach woke up. Nausea roared to life, and he barely had time to set Luca down in the playroom with his coloring book before he had to sprint to the bathroom. He made it by the skin of his teeth, emptying the contents of his stomach into the toilet bowl—which, thankfully, wasn’t a lot.

  He stayed there, waiting for the waves of nausea to settle, forcibly reminded of the predicament he currently found himself in. The fun of yesterday had made it easy to forget, and he tried to bring that feeling to the forefront of his mind.