Expecting You

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Expecting You Page 17

by Claire Cullen


  Beckett dropped Luca off to his grandmother’s house the following Friday, Zac staying in the car for the handover. He caught a glimpse of a woman with blonde curly hair, who broke out into a smile and hugged Luca as the little boy raced to meet her.

  The alpha returned to the car a few minutes later, getting behind the wheel once more.

  “Ready to go? Our appointment’s at ten, we might be cutting it a little close.” Beckett pulled off from the curb. Traffic had been heavier than expected that morning due to the wet weather.

  “I’m ready,” Zac said. “A little nervous, maybe.”

  Beckett did a double-take, and Zac felt silly for speaking his mind.

  “Nervous? There’s nothing to be nervous about. Everything’s going to be fine.”

  “But it’s called an anomaly scan. They’re looking for stuff that’s wrong. ”

  Zac had been given a handful of scans since that first one, all just long enough to confirm that everything looked okay. This one was different.

  “Not because they think they’re going to find anything. It’s just the right time to do it. When they can get a good look at the baby before things get crowded in there.”

  Beckett seemed unfazed by the whole thing, even a little excited.

  “I can’t wait to see our baby again. And to be there with you.”

  Zac’s first scan had been a weird experience for both of them. They hadn’t known where they stood with each other, and they’d had the weight of Dr. Smith’s judgment. There was none of that with Dr. Lowe, and Zac wanted this shared experience to be one they treasured. Right then, it looked like his nervousness was set to ruin that.

  “What if something is wrong?”

  Beckett reached over and patted his hand, his attention on the road ahead. “Nothing is going to be wrong. And if it is, we will handle it together.”

  “So I’m worrying over nothing?”

  “I’m not saying that. You’re having perfectly normal concerns, especially for a first-time parent. Darcy didn’t sleep for days before his anomaly scan with Luca.”

  Zac had to swallow hard at that. He always had mixed feelings when Darcy’s name came up in conversation. It was strange to be so intertwined with someone he’d never met. He’d seen pictures of him, of course. They were some around the house, and he found himself staring at them sometimes, wondering what the omega would say if he could talk to Zac. Good things, Zac hoped. He was doing his best for Beckett and Luca, and he liked to think Darcy would be able to appreciate that and see past what, on the surface, probably looked like Zac was trying to steal away his family.

  He didn’t realize how long he’d been lost in his own thoughts until Beckett said awkwardly, “If it would be easier for you, I won’t mention Darcy when you’re around.”

  “No,” Zac insisted. “You should talk about him. He was your husband, he’s the father of your children. Of this baby, growing inside me. It isn’t fair to paint him out of the picture he helped create.”

  “You look uncomfortable when I say his name,” Beckett pointed out.

  “I wish I’d gotten the chance to meet him. It feels so strange to be so deeply enmeshed in someone’s life but never to have set eyes on them. Does that sound silly?”

  “No,” Beckett said hoarsely. “Does it sound strange for me to say that I wish you could meet him? I mean, I know, logically, that if he was still around, we’d never have met you. But still…”

  They arrived at the clinic, and Beckett found them a parking space. They walked inside hand in hand, Zac trying not to cling to the alpha when all he wanted to do was busy his face in Beckett’s chest until someone told him it was all okay.

  It wasn’t long at all before he was lying on an exam table, his abdomen exposed, tissue paper tucked in neatly around the waist of his pants.

  Doctor Lowe smiled at them as he started the scan. “Now, let’s see how we’re getting on, shall we? You’ll be able to watch the whole thing from that screen there while I work.” He pointed to the screen mounted on the wall as he pressed the probe to Zac’s skin.

  The tight knot in Zac’s stomach eased when he caught sight of their baby.

  “And there, of course, is the head. You can just see the outline of his face and… yep, he’s sucking his thumb. He must have known today was the big day.”

  Zac glanced at Beckett, whose eyes were trained on the screen, wide with amazement. He turned to Zac, his smile blinding.

  “Looking good, huh?”

  Zac nodded eagerly, turning back to watch. Dr. Lowe took his time, checking things step by step, and explaining anything they asked about and some things they didn’t.

  “Ahem. Definitely a boy, as you can see.”

  Zac had to hide a smile at the almost proud glint in Beckett’s eye.

  “So, everything looks exactly as it should,” Dr. Lowe told them, lifting the probe from Zac’s abdomen. “We’ll send you the video and the individual pictures I took. The focus now is just on keeping this healthy pregnancy ticking over. We’ll see you again in two weeks, okay?”

  “That great, Dr. Lowe,” Beckett said. “Thank you.” Zac echoed his thanks, struggling to take his eyes from the frozen image of their baby up on the screen.

  “I’ll give you a few minutes alone to clean up. Come out whenever you’re ready. This room isn’t booked again until midday. Make your appointment at the desk on your way out.”

  With another smile, Dr. Lowe gathered up his things and headed off.

  Zac relaxed back on the exam table, taking a moment just to breathe.

  Beckett leaned against the edge of the table, taking Zac’s hand in both of his.

  “Are you doing okay? You’re very quiet.”

  Zac managed a wobbly smile as a few tears slipped free.

  “I’m good,” he promised, seeing the concern on Beckett’s face. “Just overwhelmed. Our baby is healthy, and I couldn’t ask for more.”

  “That’s right,” Beckett said. “Our baby.”

  His thumb stroked back and forth across Zac’s knuckles as he laid his other hand on Zac’s stomach.

  “Darcy’s baby too,” Zac said, very softly.

  “Always and forever,” Beckett agreed just as softly. “But Darcy isn’t here, and you are. This, what we have together, is about you and me, and the baby, and Luca. The four of us. Darcy will always be a part of our past. But you and this baby are our future. And I’m so happy you’re here to share it with me.”

  “You don’t wish Austin was here instead of me?”

  Beckett frowned at that. “Of course I do. Because Austin was ready and prepared to take on this challenge. You had it forced on you, with no say in the matter. I’m not sad about how it’s turned out, but I’m not going to pretend I’m happy with how it happened.”

  Zac couldn’t help his mouth turning down, struggling not to feel the sting of a rejection that he knew wasn’t real.

  “But Zac, think of it this way,” Beckett continued gently. “If you hadn’t been pregnant, I’d still have made a move. I’ve been mad about you since long before the truth came out. And I do believe the end result would have been the same.”

  He interlocked their fingers, raising their joined hands. “We were meant to be together. Fate is doing her best to make that clear.”

  Zac smiled then laughed and threw his arms around Beckett in a hug. “How is it you always know how to say just what I need to hear?”

  Beckett hugged him back tightly, murmuring in his ear. “Call it alpha intuition. Or being a talented sweet talker.”

  “Or maybe,” Zac mused, “a bit of both.” Either way, Beckett’s words had done what was needed, banishing the worry and tangled feelings and leaving nothing but excitement and anticipation in their wake.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Luca struggled more and more as his treatment dragged on. He didn’t get sick again, but everyday life was just that bit harder for the toddler. His sleep was haphazard, his appetite not much better, and his
crankiness was a constant instead of just a bad day. They had lots of cuddles and tons of naps, which was good, because Zac himself was inexplicably tired most of the time.

  He and Luca were curled up on the couch under a blanket and reading a story when Beckett arrived home.

  “There’s my two favorite boys.”

  “Daddy!”

  Zac stretched and sat up, easing Luca to sit on the couch next to him. “Can you take over cuddle duty? There are a few more pages of ‘Lucy’s Umbrellas’ to read. I need to get dinner in the oven.”

  “I can do that,” Beckett offered.

  “If I don’t get up, my body will weld itself to the couch permanently. Besides, Harper’s coming for dinner, and I promised him homemade garlic bread.”

  “If you’re sure you’re not too tired,” Beckett said, helping him up off the couch. “We can always order in.”

  “Nonsense. I’m not too tired to put a dish of lasagna in the oven.”

  Beckett scooped Luca up into his arms, to the little boy’s delight. “Hey, kiddo. I’ve missed you.” He picked up the book and sat down, still holding tight to Luca. “Where were you…?”

  “The blue umbrella!” Luca said squirming happily in Beckett’s arms.

  “Dinner at six,” Zac said softly, padding out into the corridor.

  It didn’t take long to get everything into the oven, and then all he had to do was set the table. As he reached up to take down some plates, he felt a twinge of pain in his abdomen.

  “Ouch.”

  He stopped what he was doing for a minute and the pain eased. Maybe he’d pulled a muscle?

  The doorbell rang as he finished the table.

  “I’ve got it,” Beckett called before Zac could move.

  He went to the oven instead. The lasagna was ready and smelled divine. Grabbing a cloth, he bent down to take it out. As he straightened up, the pain hit again, worse than before. He lost his grip on the dish, and it fell, smashing onto the floor. Zac stumbled back a step and grabbed onto the countertop with one hand, the other pressed to his stomach as the pain tore through him.

  “Zac?”

  He heard calls and running footsteps, Harper following Beckett into the room.

  “Zac, what’s—”

  “Hell, duck. What happened?”

  Leaning heavily against the kitchen counter, he struggled to breathe through the pain.

  “It hurts,” he gritted out through clenched teeth. “I think something’s wrong.”

  He’d never felt pain like it before—a tearing sensation that lanced through to his back. Not a contraction, not a cramp. Something much, much worse.

  Beckett’s arms went around and under him, lifting him off his feet. He curled up, trying to ease that terrible pain.

  “Beckett, the baby…”

  “It’s okay. We’re going to the car and straight to the hospital.”

  “But Luca…”

  Harper spoke, the familiarity of his voice cutting through Zac’s panic.

  “I’ll stay with him, don’t worry.”

  “Thanks, Harper.” Beckett carried him to the door with quick strides. “I’ll call as soon as there’s news.”

  Zac found himself in the passenger seat of Beckett’s car a minute later, clinging tightly to the door when the pain just wouldn’t let up.

  “You need to breathe, Zac,” Beckett said, as the engine sprung to life around them.

  He caught Zac’s other hand, placing it on his chest. “Breathe with me, okay? Nice, deep breaths.”

  Zac felt the rise of Beckett’s chest beneath his hand and tried to mimic it. It was hard to think through the pain. Worse than the pain was the fear. Something was terribly wrong, of that he was sure. But the baby was too young and too small.

  “Hold on, little one,” he pleaded.

  The journey to the hospital seemed to take forever. Beckett called ahead, let them know they were coming, and they were met outside the emergency room by a nurse and an orderly. Beckett scooped him up and sat him in the waiting wheelchair. Zac was almost doubled over trying to deal with the pain.

  “What’s his name? What happened?” the nurse asked as they walked.

  “Isaac Hughes, Zac. He’s a patient of Dr. Lowe. He’s twenty-five weeks pregnant via IVF with a history of hypercyclic heat syndrome. He has pain in his abdomen, it’s severe, and it hasn’t let up since it started twenty minutes ago.”

  Was it only twenty minutes? It felt like a lifetime.

  “Did it start suddenly or gradually?”

  There was a pause.

  “Zac?”

  “Sudden.” He felt breathless as he forced the words out. “I felt a twinge. And then a few minutes later, it came back, but much, much worse.”

  “Where exactly is the pain?”

  “The lower part of my stomach and my… my lower back. It won’t stop.”

  The wheelchair slowed and stopped moving.

  “Let’s get him up onto the bed.”

  Hands lifted him, easing him down as he tried to curl tighter, hoping for some relief from the pain. He heard the buzz of conversation somewhere nearby as something cold was stuck on his finger and something else wrapped around his upper arm.

  “We just need to check your vitals, Zac. Try to relax.”

  He felt a hand brush through his hair and knew it was Beckett.

  “Sir, we’ll have to ask you to wait outside.”

  “No!” Zac tried to roll over to grab hold of the alpha, but the pain was so bad he hunched back down.

  “I’ll be right outside, Zac. They’re going to help you; we have to let them work.”

  Tears of pain and frustration escaped as he huddled in on himself, frightened and miserable.

  “Zac, I’m Dr. Shelley. I’m the on-call obstetrician. We’re going to get you into a gown and do a quick scan to see what’s going on, okay? But first, we’re going to put an IV in and give you something for the pain.”

  “I don’t want anything that’ll hurt the baby,” he insisted tearfully.

  “We’re going to give you a small dose of a safe analgesic, so you can relax a bit, and we can get your blood pressure down. It’s sky-high right now.”

  Zac knew that was bad for the baby too. A mask was pressed over his face.

  “Just some oxygen. Take nice, slow breaths.”

  He felt a pinch in his hand, and then a cold sensation before the pain slowly muted from a screaming pitch to more of a dull roar.

  “Zac, do you think you can uncurl a little and lie on your back for me?”

  He was on his side, practically in a fetal position. Gentle hands helped move him. Those same practiced hands returned with scissors and made quick work of his clothes.

  “I hope they weren’t your favorite,” the nurse joked softly, keeping him covered with a blanket as she worked. Then a gown was slipped over his head, and she helped tug it down under the blanket.

  “That’s it, Zac. You’re doing great.”

  “Where’s Beckett?”

  “Your partner? He’s right outside. Let’s let Dr. Shelley work to find out what’s going on.”

  Dr. Shelley took a seat next to him, the familiar probe of the ultrasound pressing against his abdomen as the nurse took away his cut clothes.

  “Doctor, we’ve got a small hemorrhage. About ten mils.”

  Zac jolted at that. He was bleeding?

  “Any blood loss before tonight, Zac?”

  “No, none. Is that… is that…”

  “It’s alright, just relax.” The nurse pressed a hand to his shoulder. “Deep breaths now.”

  “I see it,” the doctor said. “Partial separation at the anterior wall. Relatively minor.”

  “What does that mean? What’s happening?” Zac looked from the nurse to the doctor, wanting answers. “Is the baby okay?”

  The doctor swung the screen around so he could see. “Baby’s fine. Kicking away and wondering what all the fuss is about.”

  Zac almost cried with re
lief as he saw the little head, an arm lying against it.

  “But… the pain.”

  “Let’s call your alpha back in, and I’ll explain what’s happened.”

  Beckett stepped inside, making a beeline for him.

  “Zac, I’m here. Are you okay?” He turned to the nurses. “Is he okay?”

  “He’s going to be fine,” the doctor assured him. “And so far, the baby is fine too. But there has been a complication.”

  Beckett squeezed his hand, and Zac relaxed back on the bed, knowing the alpha would ask what they needed to know.

  “What kind of complication?”

  “It’s called a placental abruption. It’s when the placenta prematurely detaches from the uterine wall. It can cause pain and bleeding, and can be dangerous for both omega and child.”

  She patted Zac’s hand. “In this case, you’ve been lucky. It’s just a small separation, minimal blood loss, and both yours and baby’s vitals are stabilizing. We’ll admit you, keep you under observation and on bed rest, and see how we get on. Baby’s a little too young to be welcomed into the world just yet.”

  They took blood, started him on some fluids, and left him and Beckett alone in the cubicle.

  Beckett held Zac’s hand between both of his. “How’s the pain?”

  “Not so bad. They gave me some medicine. The good stuff, I think.” Realizing what he’d said, and how it might sound, he tried to sit up. “They said it won’t hurt the baby.”

  “Hush, lie down. I’m not worried. I can’t stand to see you in pain. I was so scared.” He helped Zac lie back, brushing the hair from his forehead. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

  “You should head home; Luca needs you.”

  “Harper’s looking after Luca. There’s nowhere I need to be right now except by your side.”

 

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