Expecting You

by Claire Cullen

  “But you’ve got work. It sounds like I might be here for a while.”

  “William can handle things for the next few days.”

  “But there’s still Luca…”

  “Zac,” Beckett chided gently. “Stop fussing and rest. You leave everything else to me. I’ll stay until they bring you upstairs to a room. Then I’ll go home and let Harper head off. Luca’s going to his grandmother’s tomorrow as normal, and I’ll see if she can keep him overnight. He loves sleepovers at her house.”

  Zac was glad Beckett had everything in hand but realized that, in all the time he’d been Luca’s nanny, he’d missed something important.

  “Luca’s grandmother isn’t your mother, is she?”

  Beckett’s smile faltered. “No. No, she’s Darcy’s mother.”

  “Is that why she never comes to the house?”

  The alpha stroked his forehead again. “Too many bad memories. We moved in a few months before Luca was born, and she spent a lot of time with us before and after the birth.”

  “So, your mother…”

  Beckett sighed. “My parents divide their year between their home in the Maldives and their place on the west coast. They visit once a year for two days, stay in a hotel, and see us once for a meal in a restaurant of their choosing. So far, they’ve always forgotten Luca’s birthday. Loving and attentive they are not. I’m very glad Luca has Sarah. Not just to have a grandparent, but because he’ll always have a connection to Darcy.”

  “Does Sarah know about me?” What must she think of him? The brazen omega who moved into her son’s house, who was carrying her son’s child. To her, it must have looked like he was trying his hardest to replace Darcy.

  “She knows—well, everything. We don’t talk about it a lot, but I keep her informed. For Luca’s sake.”

  “I’m glad he has her. And that you have her, too.” He swallowed the bitter hope that she wouldn’t think too badly of him for what had happened. Even though he knew it wasn’t his fault, he could imagine how it must look from where she stood.

  “So am I. How’s the pain now? Do you need anything?”

  Beckett gently redirected the conversation back around to Zac.

  “I’m fine.” His assurances fell a little short when he winced as another dart of pain stabbed through his stomach.

  “I’ll get the nurse.”

  “No. Stay, please. Having you here is better than any drug.”

  “Ah, the alpha effect. I thought that was a myth.”

  “Not a myth. A very strong placebo effect. I intend to take full advantage.”

  He eased onto his side and drew Beckett’s hand closer, hugging it to his chest.

  “If it comes to it, I want you to save the baby.”

  Beckett’s smile fell from his face.

  “That’s not going to happen. You heard the doctor, you’re both going to be fine.”

  “I know. But we never talked about it. If something else happens, if it comes down to me or him, I want you to choose him.”

  Beckett stroked a hand through his hair, leaning closer. “I can’t make that choice. I won’t. It will not come to that.”

  “But—”

  “No, Zac.” Beckett pressed a finger to his lips. “Hush a minute. You’re getting way ahead of yourself. You’re okay, and the baby’s okay. I need you to focus on that, alright? Please.”

  He followed his plea with a kiss, lightly pressing his lips to Zac’s. The urgency Zac felt slowly eased, leaving him sleepy and his worry muted.

  “Close your eyes,” Beckett urged. “Rest a while.”

  With a soft sigh, he did.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Beckett settled Zac into his own bed, deciding that the omega’s bedroom in the apartment was a little too far for comfort.

  “I’ll sleep in the guest room. My room has the en suite, so I thought you’d be more comfortable.”

  “Don’t be silly,” Zac said. “I’m not kicking you out of your own bed.”

  “It’s not like I’m on the couch. And even if I was, that couch is very comfortable.”

  “You could just stay here, with me.”

  They stared at one another for a moment. “I could, but you need your rest.” He tucked the blankets around him.

  Zac huffed, untucked the blankets, and folded his arms, leveling Beckett with a glare.

  “I’m not an incubator.”

  Beckett sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. “No, you’re not.”

  “Then don’t treat me like one.”

  “I won’t.”

  Four days in the hospital had tried Zac’s patience, and they were all happy to have him home.

  “I can sleep in my own bed if you don’t want to share,” the omega said quietly.

  “I want you close. Not locked away in another part of the house. And I’d love to share a bed with you.”

  “Just no sex marathons?”

  Beckett grinned despite himself. “Maybe next week. Doc said to take it easy for a bit.”

  “Next week, then. I’ll stick it in my diary. Is Luca…?”

  “Still with Sarah. I’ll collect him this afternoon.” Beckett laid a hand on Zac’s knee. “How about a bath?”

  Zac sighed. “Sounds heavenly. Especially if I have company.”

  He stared up at Beckett from under his eyelashes, and Beckett huffed out a laugh.

  “Lucky for you, the bath is big enough for two.”

  “Well, that’s me and the baby sorted,” he teased. “Where will you wash?”

  Still laughing, Beckett stepped into the bathroom, starting the water running.

  “Bath cream?” he called. “I’ve got vanilla or pomegranate.”

  “That’s not very alpha of you.”

  “I didn’t buy them for me. Harper said they were the scents you liked.”

  “You were talking to Harper about what I liked in the bath?” Zac sounded bemused and maybe a little worried.

  “Not exactly. I tried to get you one of those diffusers, you know, for essential oils. He helpfully pointed out that you’re quite sensitive to smells and would probably move out if I had lavender wafting through the house every day.”

  There was silence in response, and he was about to go back out and check on Zac when the omega appeared in the doorway.

  “He’s right, too. Lavender makes me sneeze.” He padded over to the bath and sniffed each of the bottles. “This one.” He held out the pomegranate. “Smells good enough to eat.”

  “Speaking of eating, let me know when you’re hungry. There’s stuff in the fridge to heat up.”

  “Maybe after my bath.”

  It didn’t take long to get the water to the right temperature, not too hot, with the scent of pomegranate filling the room.

  “Need a hand?” Beckett offered, moving to help Zac undress.

  “I can manage…” Zac started to say, but he didn’t protest when Beckett slipped a hand under his T-shirt and lifted it up and over his head.

  Zac surveyed his arms, clearly unimpressed. “I look like a human pincushion.” There were bruises scattered up and down his forearms. “I think those nurses might be vampires.”

  Beckett laughed softly. “Maybe. You’ll heal. Give it a week or two, and there’ll be nothing to see.”

  He slid his hands down to Zac’s hips, gripping them lightly. The swell of his stomach was unmistakable.

  “How’s the little one doing today?”

  “Quiet so far. He usually starts kicking when he thinks I’m sleeping.”

  “Not even born yet and already he’s keeping you up.”

  There was a soft smile on Zac’s face. “I don’t mind. Every kick makes me a little less worried.”

  Beckett folded him into a hug. “You’re doing just fine. The doctor said everything looks okay, and as long as we’re careful, it should stay that way.”

  “He didn’t say careful. He said, ‘don’t take risks and don’t overexert yourself.’ That’s not the same th
ing.”

  “Isn’t it?”

  Zac threw him an exasperated look. “He’s not saying don’t do normal things, he’s saying don’t do things that I wouldn’t normally do. Like I shouldn’t take up weightlifting or cross-country running or, I don’t know, eating crazily spicy food?”

  “You’re right about that last one. The baby might decide he’d rather try his culinary chances out in the world if you start inflicting jalapenos on him.”

  Zac opened his mouth to retort, but Beckett distracted him with a kiss.

  “Water’s getting cold,” he murmured as he pulled away, untying the string on Zac’s pajama pants.

  He helped Zac out of them and into the bath, shedding his own clothes and climbing in with him. The bath was made to comfortably fit two, side by side, but Beckett eased Zac forward so he could slip in behind him, bringing Zac back to rest against his chest.

  “This okay?”

  “It’s nice,” Zac said, turning his head to rest his cheek against Beckett’s chest.

  “Not too hot? Too cold?”

  “Just right, Goldilocks.”

  The omega shifted restlessly against him.

  “Four days in a hospital bed. I thought they’d never let me out.”

  “They were just being careful.”

  “I know, but I missed you and Luca.”

  Luca’s treatment meant he couldn’t visit Zac in the hospital. It wasn’t worth the risk of him picking something up.

  “We missed you too. But you’re home now. You can relax and rest and…”

  “And what? You’ve got something on your mind, I can tell. Out with it.”

  “I was talking to the agency about a relief nanny.”

  Zac sat up at that, twisting around so he could see Beckett’s face. “A relief nanny? We don’t need one.”

  “But maybe we do. How can you take it easy when you’re looking after Luca?”

  Zac groaned and flopped back against him. “You weren’t listening. Dr. Lowe said a week of rest, including the time I spent in hospital, then I can be up and about as normal.”

  “But this happened when you were doing normal stuff. Shouldn’t we take extra precautions?”

  “Dr. Lowe didn’t think so. He said it was a fluke, just something that happened, and it could have happened to anyone.”

  “But—”

  “I’m not an incubator, and I won’t act like one. We’re a family, right? I mean, we’re trying to be.”

  “We are,” Beckett agreed, settling his arms around Zac’s waist, and trying to dial down his anxiety. “I worry, that’s all.”

  Zac’s hands covered his. “I get that, I do. But wrapping me in cotton isn’t the way to deal with it. I promise I’ll be careful; I won’t take chances or push myself. But you have to promise to trust me, to let me have the things I need to keep me sane.”

  “Like what?” Beckett asked, stroking a hand across Zac’s stomach.

  “Like you.”

  “Me?”

  “You. Your touch, your scent, your…” Zac growled in frustration suddenly. “Are you sure the sex marathon has to wait? All I’ve wanted for days is what I couldn’t have, and now you’re right here.”

  “Shh.” Beckett bent his head and pressed a kiss to Zac’s shoulder. “I am right here. Close your eyes.”

  Zac did, shuffling around restlessly.

  “Settle,” Beckett told him, pressing the palms of his hands to Zac’s hips.

  The omega whined softly but did as he was asked.

  “Tell me what has you so hot and bothered.”

  Zac huffed. “Hormones, I guess. Every time I catch your scent, it’s like I’m itching under my skin, my body’s swelling and stretching and searching for you.”

  “Well, you’ve got me. Consider me your captive audience. Whatever you need, I’ll give you.”

  He let his fingers trail down Zac’s hip and onto his thigh, teasing the sensitive skin.

  “I want you inside me.”

  “Nu-uh. Sex marathon is next week, remember? It’s in the schedule.” The doctor had been very clear about overexertion.

  “You could touch me.”

  “I am touching you. Most of my body is pressed against yours right now. Doesn’t that feel good?”

  He kissed the back of Zac’s neck, prompting a low moan and a shiver.

  “It’s not enough,” Zac murmured. “I need more.”

  Beckett knew exactly what he needed, his fingers dancing across the skin of Zac’s inner thigh.

  “Just relax,” he told him. “Nice slow breaths, eyes closed, focus on my voice.”

  When his hand encircled Zac’s semi-hard cock, the omega let out a strangled moan.

  “Shh, that’s right. Let me take care of you.”

  He touched Zac with careful hands, one pressing lightly down on his hip while the other teased his cock with long, languid strokes.

  Zac shuddered hard, tossing his head back and forth.

  “I wish you were inside me right now.”

  “Soon, I promise. This is for you, all for you. Just feel it, let yourself go.”

  Zac was fully hard now, little breathy moans escaping with each exhalation, his hips trying to move but held still by Beckett’s hand.

  “You’re so beautiful for me, so good. I can’t wait for next week, to have you in our bed, to take you apart.”

  “Our bed?” Zac asked, gasping and squirming as Beckett stroked him from root to tip.

  “Our bed. Yours and mine. Our home, our family. I want you to be mine, Zac. Please say you’ll be mine.”

  The omega came with a cry, tensing in Beckett’s hold before he relaxed, inch by inch, settling back against him. Beckett wrapped his arms around him, tucking him close.

  Zac turned his head just enough that he could press a kiss to Beckett’s shoulder. “I’m yours,” he promised him. “I’m yours.”

  That was all Beckett wanted. There was no more he could ask.

  “I love you.”

  That got him a muted sob, but when he craned his neck to see Zac’s face, the omega was smiling. “Love you too.”

  The mumbled words betrayed Zac’s tiredness, and Beckett turned to the practical. He soaped up a sponge and washed Zac’s skin before massaging shampoo into his hair and rinsing out the suds. Then he wrapped Zac in a towel and carried him to bed, setting him down and going back into the bathroom. He was just toweling his hair dry when he heard Zac curse. Worried, he stepped back into the bedroom, finding Zac propped up on one elbow and staring worriedly at his phone.

  “Zac?”

  “It’s my mom. She knows about the baby. She’s coming to visit.”

  Beckett tried not to look as daunted by that as he felt. How bad could it be?

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Over the next two days, Zac tried his best to convey the awfulness of what was about to descend on them, but Beckett seemed to have a particularly strong case of alpha blindness.

  “It’ll be fine, Zac. Sure, there’ll be a few awkward minutes where we try to explain everything, but I’m certain once she understands…”

  “You don’t understand. You’ve never met my mom.”

  “She can’t be that bad.”

  Zac resisted the urge to bang his head against a wall.

  “You’ll run a mile in the opposite direction. Hell, you might even cross state lines to get away from her. I know I have.”

  “Now you’re being ridiculous. You need to rest and stop stressing.”

  Before Zac could protest once again that Beckett wasn’t hearing him, the alpha said the words that made everything better. “Tell me what I can do to help right now.”

  He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to focus on the practical.

  “Make sure there’s food. Tea, especially. And if she asks, we’re sleeping in separate bedrooms.”

  “Done and done. What else?”

  “When all this is over, forgive me?”

  Beckett looked at h
im like he’d lost his mind. “There isn’t going to be anything to forgive. It’s your mom, Zac. One woman. It’s not like the whole of your extended family is about to land in on us and cause chaos.”

  Zac made a face. “She doesn’t need any help to cause chaos.”

  “Well, maybe we should put her off until you’ve had the chance to—”

  But Zac knew he’d never get any rest with this hanging over him.

  “No. Let’s just get it over with. Seeing my mom is like taking a band-aid off. It’s best just to rip it away and deal with the sting.”

  No matter what Zac said, right up until his mother arrived, Beckett remained resolutely under the impression that this was going to be no more than an awkward conversation. Zac knew better and alerted Harper, who promised to drop everything and come to their aid.

  He got the message that his mother was in town one morning and that she’d be over after lunch. Luckily, Sarah was already taking Luca for the afternoon, so he didn’t have to worry about the toddler getting caught in the middle. There was only Beckett to fret about.

  “Are you sure you don’t have work you need to be doing? A meeting you should get to?”

  Beckett didn’t look up from the tablet he was reading. “Nope, no meetings. I’m up to date with work.”

  “Maybe you should go shopping. We’re almost out of milk.”

  “I bought milk yesterday.”

  “Not chocolate milk. I’ve been having these crazy cravings…”

  Beckett set down his tablet and gave Zac his full attention. “We have a whole carton of chocolate milk in the back of the fridge.”

  “Oh. That’s good,” he said weakly.

  “Can you try to relax? For my sake. Your mom cannot be that bad.”

  Before Zac could reply, the doorbell went. If that was her, she was early.

  “I’ll go see who it is,” Beckett said, pressing a hand to Zac’s knee. “You rest.”

  He didn’t need to rest. He needed his mother far, far away and not on their doorstep. Taking out his phone, he wrote a quick text to Harper, waiting until he heard his mother’s voice at the door before pressing send. And then he pushed to his feet, tugging nervously at his clothes as he waited.

  “…lovely house. A little ‘a la mode’ for my tastes. Do you own or do you rent?”