Finally, a Family--A Clean Romance

by Callie Endicott

  Logan couldn’t blame the guy for wanting to dance with Jessica—she was a sweet armful. What he didn’t understand was his green-eyed urge to keep him away.

  He pushed the thought aside for the rest of the festivities.

  In the early evening, he and Jessica buckled a chocolate-smeared, grass-stained and smiling little girl into her booster seat and he drove back to Regen Valley. It was still light and the sun cast long, golden rays across the town.

  “Thanks for ridesharing with us,” Jessica said as he pulled up in front of her house. She got out quickly.

  “My pleasure.” Logan opened the back door, where Cyndi drooped, sound asleep. He unbuckled the belt, trying not to wake her. It had been a big day for a little girl, full of new places to run, people to play with and treats to eat.

  Jessica held out her arms, but he shook his head. “Why don’t you bring the booster seat? I’ll carry her inside. Where do you want her?”

  “The couch is fine.”

  In the house he laid Cyndi on the sofa cushions, warmth flooding through him at the way she curled into a tighter ball. From the corner of his eye he saw Jessica smiling at her daughter.

  Logan turned. Wisps of hair had escaped the clips and formed a shining frame around Jessica’s face. He’d never seen a more beautiful sight.

  He leaned toward her slowly, so that if she didn’t want him to kiss her again, she could make a move to stop it. There were conflicted emotions in her eyes, but she leaned into him.

  Her lips were soft and sweet and it felt utterly right to hold her in his arms. But after an interlude of deep, mind-spinning kisses, she pulled away.

  Logan suddenly remembered Cyndi. He snatched a look at the couch, but she still seemed to be asleep.

  “Sorry,” Logan murmured as Jessica half pushed him to the door. “I forgot she might see us.”

  “That’s okay. No harm done. Chalk it up to spending the day at a wedding. Inhibitions get lowered by all the romance and music.”

  Her reasoning was entirely plausible...and completely wrong. His feelings for her couldn’t be explained away. He just didn’t know if she saw him in the same way.

  “Have a good rest of the evening,” he said. “I’m, uh, I’m not sure Cyndi’s dress will ever be the same.”

  “It isn’t important—she enjoyed herself. In any case, kids outgrow their clothes with lightning speed and that one won’t fit her much longer.”

  Since Jessica stood waiting to lock up, Logan couldn’t prolong the moment to explore the sensations flooding him. Strongest of all was the urge to ask if he could stay, have a cup of coffee, watch television, play cards...or even wash her car. Anything that didn’t entail him driving away.

  As he turned toward his SUV, he heard the door close and the dead bolt slide into place.

  Back at his house, Logan realized something—for the first time in his life, he knew he was lonely. Yeah, he was bad with people. But instead of trying to improve, he’d used his cameras to cover it up. He’d gathered his solitude around himself like a suit of armor.

  What if he’d given his problems a fraction of the effort Jessica had made to become a better mother and person after her failed marriage? Maybe his father wouldn’t have faced an alarming biopsy without his son at his side. Perhaps his mother would feel she could call when she was worried or just wanted to talk. He might even feel remotely qualified to be the kind of husband Jessica deserved and the father Cyndi ought to have.

  Logan went out the back door and headed for the rocky outcropping up on the hill. A rabbit, startled from its hiding place, shot across the overgrown path. Farther away, a raccoon paused to look at him and blinked, as if insulted that a human was intruding into his space. A Steller’s jay hopped lower on an evergreen and began scolding.

  Higher on the hill Logan could see bits of Regen Valley through the trees. It was easier to think in the open air and he inhaled deeply.

  Jessica deserved the best a man had to offer. So did Cyndi. A part-time husband and father wouldn’t cut it. It was possible that his disdain for domestic routine and following a schedule came partly because he’d never found someone worth upending his life for.

  Maybe he just had to make a sincere commitment, not only to Jessica and Cyndi, but to being genuinely connected. He could take pleasure in his career, while putting home and family first. That was what his friends were doing. They enjoyed their work and were passionate about helping clients get good career opportunities, but the balance in their lives had shifted. And he couldn’t deny they had a newfound joy unlike anything he’d ever known before.

  Logan’s breathing quickened at the thought he could feel the same way.

  Life was about choices. He could choose to put Jessica and Cyndi first. It might have to be a choice he made every single day to be sure he didn’t fail them, but he could do it.

  Still, Jessica also had to choose...and there was no certainty that she would choose him.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  JESSICA GOT TO the shop early on Monday, determined to be optimistic.

  So Logan had kissed her again.

  So what?

  Soon the scent of coffee brewing wafted through the air and she filled the small display case with pastries from the Regen Valley Bakery. A few people had suggested she offer breakfast sandwiches, but she was keeping things simple. The Crystal Connection wasn’t a café.

  A deliveryman arrived with the new pieces of jewelry she’d ordered and she unpacked the box. Sales were going well. She’d even started getting orders through the new website.

  At opening time she unlocked the door and found Logan waiting on the other side. She glued a determined smile on her face. Why did he have to be the first test of her optimism?

  “Good morning, Mr. Magellan Einstein Stanley. Hey, it just occurred to me that we could use the initials of your nickname instead of the whole mouthful.”

  She waited to see if he’d take the bait.

  “Magellan Einstein Stanley?” he repeated. “Wouldn’t that be MES?”

  “But with only one S. If you like, I can do some research and find another explorer whose name also starts with S.”

  “I’m not sure it would do your business good to have a frequent customer with the name of Mr. Mess. Besides, Einstein was a scientist. He doesn’t fit with Magellan and Stanley.”

  “Spoilsport. Besides, he explored mathematical concepts. So, what’s your coffee preference today?”

  “Surprise me. Anything you pick will be great.”

  She wasn’t sure about that, but she’d been experimenting with her own combination of coffee beans, so she filled his mug with the new brew.

  “This is great,” he said after taking a sip. “What is it?”

  “My latest stab at creating a special Crystal Connection blend.”

  “It’s a winner.” His smile seemed different than usual, but she was probably just misinterpreting it.

  “Good to know. Can I get you anything else?”

  “Nope, though I wanted to tell you that I finally have all the contractor estimates and other information. As soon as I can get my partners together, we’ll talk about it. I know they want to make a timely decision, so I hope to have news by the end of the week.”

  “Thanks for letting me know,” she said, hoping it didn’t sound too much as if she was rushing him out, even though she wanted him to leave. “Have a good day.”

  A few hours later Nicole came in for her second cup of coffee. “Latte, with a second shot of espresso,” she moaned. “With Chelsea on her honeymoon, we’re all pushed. She trained an assistant, but Sara doesn’t have Chelsea’s experience.”

  Jessica made the latte and poured it into Nicole’s cup. “I’m glad I can run the Crystal Connection by myself.”

  “There are pluses and minuses. Having four of us helps because we can
rotate special tasks. It’s my turn, which is why I’m extra busy with Sara.”

  Jessica watched as Nicole rushed out. The agency’s custom of rotating responsibilities was what had thrown Logan so thoroughly into her life. She’d be sleeping much better at night if it had been one of the other partners who’d asked her to consider moving.

  * * *

  LOGAN JUGGLED HIS morning between working for clients and finalizing his presentation on the remodeling proposal. But in the back of his mind, he kept thinking about Jessica.

  He’d spent Sunday in the mountains shooting pictures, yet all he’d thought about was being with Jessica and Cyndi, or having them with him. With every passing hour he was more and more certain that he wanted them squarely in the center of his life.

  Complications abounded.

  They hadn’t resolved anything about the Crystal Connection. It was important, though not a central issue. What concerned him most was Jessica’s wariness about him. She had every right to question his ability to commit, but it was more than that. What had she said about marriage—the risk of repeating her mistakes was too great? She’d worked so hard at getting herself into a good place she couldn’t see how well she had achieved her goals. Marrying him wouldn’t mean a loss of independence or strength.

  He also wasn’t worried about Jessica becoming too needy; in fact he was more concerned that she didn’t need him at all.

  By noon Logan was practically climbing the walls. It would be impossible to discuss a future with Jessica while the store was open for business, but he still wanted to see her.

  Grabbing his mug, he headed next door. The shop had several customers and he hung back, listening as they asked questions about different rocks. Interesting stuff. He didn’t know if crystals had healing properties, but she’d made some good points at Chelsea’s wedding. The possibility wasn’t as far-fetched as he’d thought.

  He came over when there was a lull and she was free.

  “Coffee?” she asked.

  “Oh, yeah. The same as before.” Logan handed her the mug and followed her to the coffee bar. “Would you have a chance to talk after the shop is closed?”

  Her expression turned puzzled. “I suppose. Is something wrong?”

  “No. Though I have a gift for you.” He fished an envelope out of his pocket and gave it to her. “It’s a flash drive with pictures from the wedding. There are some good ones of you and Cyndi.”

  “That’s nice.”

  “My pleasure. Has Cyndi recovered from the festivities?”

  “She seemed okay yesterday, but she had an asthma attack last night that left her a little tired this morning.”

  “Did you have to go to the emergency room?” he asked, a stab of retroactive worry making his pulse jump.

  “No, we managed to get it under control.”

  “That’s a relief. I’ll see you later.”

  Shaken, he turned and went back to the agency. They had to get the clinic built as soon as possible. Not that it would be open at night. Maybe he could convince Jessica to move somewhere closer to around-the-clock medical care.

  He groaned as he sank into his desk chair. Jessica loved Regen Valley and she wouldn’t have moved there if it posed a serious risk to Cyndi’s safety. But he couldn’t help worrying about the little girl who was entwined in his heart along with her mother. He’d have to map out the best routes to hospitals.

  The afternoon crept by slowly.

  * * *

  JESSICA COULDN’T IMAGINE what Logan wanted to discuss. He’d said it would probably be another few days before his partners made a decision.

  During the slow part of the afternoon she stuck his flash drive into the computer and was awed by what she saw. Photo after photo of both her and Cyndi. Some were close-ups of her, others were Cyndi’s face, her expressions ranging from disgusted to happy to ecstatic. They looked like something out of a magazine. No wonder he’d been in such high demand as a fashion photographer.

  But why had he taken so many?

  Jessica’s heart skipped a beat as she wondered if it meant something special, but it was an absurd speculation. He’d probably taken just as many of the other guests. And she’d seen what he could do, selecting an individual out of a larger photo to create a portrait. It didn’t mean anything.

  Logan returned, just as she was flipping the Open sign to Closed.

  “Hi.” Jessica kept her voice bright. “I had a chance to look at the flash drive. The photos are wonderful. Thanks for taking the time to sort them out for us. Digital technology is amazing. You must have thousands from the wedding.”

  “Not even close. I took a fair number to add to Chelsea’s wedding collection, but I mostly concentrated on you and Cyndi.”

  She pulled in a quick breath. “Why would you do that?”

  “To be honest, I wasn’t sure at the time, except that you’re both so photogenic. It wasn’t until I got home that the truth dawned on me—I was taking pictures of the two people I want most in my life.”

  Her brain tried to spin but she refused to let it loose. She must have misunderstood. “Oh?”

  “Jessica, I’m tired of just being the guy behind the camera. I love you with all my heart and I want to be with you and Cyndi, every single day.”

  Now her brain froze.

  “Uh...”

  His eyes were warm, full of energy, and seemed utterly sincere. “I’m impressed. For once I’ve stunned you into speechlessness.”

  Jessica straightened her back. “I’m not sure that you... That is, you’ve been quite clear about avoiding commitment.”

  “I’ve said a lot of dumb things. Now I know I was waiting for you.”

  Trying to think clearly, Jessica glanced around the shop. As a child it had been a place of safety and love. She still felt the love, echoing through the years, but it no longer seemed quite as safe. Finally she focused on Logan again.

  “I can’t discuss this. Not today.”

  “That’s understandable. It probably feels as if this has come out of the blue, but it hasn’t, at least not for me. I just want you to know how I feel, and that I’m sticking around. We can take this slowly. What about dinner some night? We haven’t had any traditional dates.” He grinned. “I might be able to find an ice-cream parlor. How about an old-fashioned chocolate soda?”

  “Maybe. I don’t know. I’ll think about it.”

  Logan’s hand reached up to caress her cheek and the sensation shivered through her body. He could do as much with his hand and his eyes as he’d done with his kisses.

  “Jessica, I know we have all sorts of things to figure out, but I also know it can be done. We can make a relationship work.”

  Though she’d said she didn’t want to talk, Jessica couldn’t stop herself. “Following a schedule would be too dull for you. Don’t forget that I’m the mother of a young child with a health problem. Cyndi needs to rely on certain things happening at certain times. You’d be bored silly. Your life has always been glamorous and exciting.”

  “Glamorous? Try sitting under a damp bush for eighteen hours to get a picture of a pair of foxes,” Logan retorted. “And fashion photography isn’t nearly as exciting as people think. Frankly, it was a treadmill. Sometimes I had a hard time telling which fashion shoot I was doing since they all blended together.”

  “You also know supermodels like Laurel Stevenson.” Jessica hated the jealousy that had prompted her comment. It wasn’t that she disliked Laurel, who seemed kind, not to mention vulnerable and uncomfortable with her fame. But how many other drop-dead gorgeous women might show up, wanting a shoulder to cry on?

  “Laurel is a star,” Logan acknowledged, “but Nicole and Adam were even bigger stars, and you know them, too. They’d all tell you the same thing about our work. It can be rewarding, but it has less enjoyable aspects that can be downright tedious. You compromi
se and accept the parts you don’t like.”

  He gazed intently into her eyes.

  “I’ve had positive experiences, but my life wasn’t full until I met you and Cyndi. That’s when I realized what I was missing.”

  Logan was making good points, but Jessica was still struggling with disbelief and shock.

  “If you don’t love me, that’s one thing,” he continued. “Just don’t reject me for reasons that shouldn’t have anything to do with two people who belong together. I admire how hard you’ve fought to be strong and independent. But you won’t lose yourself if you share responsibilities with someone who cares.”

  Logan glanced out the window where people were heading to their cars in the parking lot, then turned back to her. “I’d kiss you, but this is the wrong place. And I don’t want you to talk yourself into a corner.”

  The warm focus of his eyes was almost like a kiss and they brimmed with emotion a woman could convince herself was love. He took a step forward, his hand outstretched as though he might still pull her into an embrace. Then he seemed to regain control and walked out.

  Jessica locked the door and hurried into the stockroom, where she could fight her emotions without risk of being seen by anyone passing outside. Before long she realized her cheeks were damp.

  She felt as if she’d glimpsed paradise and didn’t know whether it was a gift...or a mistake.

  * * *

  PENNY WAS PLEASED that Cyndi had made it through the school day, despite her late-night asthma attack. Keeping her later than usual wasn’t a problem, but she wondered why Logan had wanted to speak with Jessica.

  When Jessica got there to pick up Cyndi, her face wore the same tense mask Penny recognized from years past.

  “Any news?” she asked.

  “Not really. Logan won’t have anything to report until he talks with his partners.”

  That was disappointing but not unexpected. “Would you like to stay for dinner? Kevin is coming over.”

  Jessica gave her a hug. “Thanks, but last night I cut up vegetables for stir-fry. Say hi to Uncle Kevin for me.” She called to Cyndi and they left.