Memoirs of Major Alexander Ramkins (1718)

by Daniel Defoe

not been in _Paris_ above Eight Days, but the Archers or City Guardstook me out of my Bed at Four a Clock in the Morning, and carried me toPrison upon strong Suspicion of being that very Captain _Ramkins_ whohad kill'd the _French_ Officer in a Duel. Captain _Ramkins_ I certainlywas call'd at my own Request, having taken that Travelling Name as allIndependent Gentlemen do, who cannot tell well what Title to givethemselves upon the Road. My case had no very good Aspect at thebeginning. There were so many Circumstances to render me suspected, thatthough I was satisfy'd my Life was not in Danger, yet it was an easyThing to perceive it wou'd be both a troublesome, and also a chargeableSpot of Work. The first Thing I did was to send for my Brother-in-law,whom I employ'd as my Solicitor, to lay a true Narration of the Factbefore the King's Attorney. My Counsel advis'd me to _Subpoena_ theyoung Lady, who wou'd be a material Witness that I was not the Captain_Ramkins_ chargeable with the Fact, which she seem'd willingly toacquiesce to; but some of the deceased Friends endeavour'd to invalidateher _Affidavit_, upon a pretence, that there was too great an Intimacybetween her and Captain _Ramkins_. However, to put the Contest upon anIssue which would allow of no Reply, I procured the Testimonies ofseveral Officers in the Army, that I was actually upon the _Rhine_ whenthe Duel was fought at _Paris_, besides the corroborating Evidence ofseveral _Irish_ Gentlemen who liv'd in _Paris_ and at _St. Germains_,who were ready to offer their Oaths I was not the Man. 'Tis incredibleto think what Pains the deceas'd Gentleman's Relations took to destroyme, though I have the Charity to think they judg'd I was the Person theysought after, though it is somewhat unintelligible they wou'd not Creditthe young Lady their Cousin. This Affair help'd me off with the greatestPart of my ready Money, for 'tis a Blessing which attends all Law-Suits,that the Gainer is oblig'd to refund to the Lawyers what he recoversfrom his Adversary, and for my part, I pay'd pretty dear for anAuthentick Copy of my Innocence; and the Carriage of the Court to me wassuch, as if I had been particularly favour'd in not being hang'd insteadof my Brother.

  After this troublesome Business was over, I began to enjoy my self alittle in the Diversions of _Paris_; and by the Assistance of myBrother-in-law, I had a good Guide in him to view several of theCuriosities that City abounds with, though I cannot say I took anyextraordinary relish that way, for my Thoughts being chiefly upon War, Idigested other Matters as a nice Appetite does improper Food. It was myIntention to go over to _Ireland_, and to made that undertaking lesschargeable to me, I endeavour'd to procure a Commission, which was nodifficult matter at that Time, especially to one who was provided with alittle Money to facilitate the Grant. I did not stick much upon theNature of the Commission, for my Years, and small Experience could makeno very extraordinary Demands; so I was Registred as a Lieutenant, whichI, according to the usual Custom, upon receival dexterously improv'dinto Captain. Indeed I had very lofty Expectations, and the Affairs ofKing _James_ went so well at that time in _Ireland_, that there was nota Footman who follow'd that Prince, but look'd upon his Fortune as made.

  These Considerations put me and some others upon a Project oftransporting our selves to the _North_ of _England_, where King _James_had a very strong Party, and we were inform'd that immediately upon theReduction of _Ireland_, as before, the whole Strength of his Army wou'dpower in upon _England_ that way. A Day was fix'd to put my Design inExecution, but falling into Discourse a little after with a Person ofExperience, he intimated that the Business wou'd not be so near over in_Ireland_ as I imagin'd; for I can assure you, says he, Three Expresseshave arrived lately at _Versailles_, to solicit the _French_ Court forCannon and Ammunition, without which it wou'd be impossible for King_James's_ Forces to become Masters in _Ireland_, but that the _French_were so dilatory in this Affair upon some Politick Views, that it wasgreat Odds that Nation wou'd be quickly recover'd by King _William_'sForces. This was a misterious Insinuation to one of my small Experience,for my shallow Brain told me, Expedition was the Business of War;whereas I found afterwards it was the Interest of _France_ to spin onthe _Irish_ War, and to order Things so, that King _William_ shouldalways have an Army employ'd there; for they look'd upon it as aChimerical Notion, that the War could be carry'd on into _England_, orthat an _Irish_ Army was capable to reduce _England_; for _France_ knewvery well their own Designs of not intending to send any _French_ Troopsto joyn them in _England_.

  I own I never entirely forgot the Reflexion that Gentleman made upon thepresent Posture of Affairs; but yet I cannot say I assented to hisOpinion, however, it wrought so much upon me as to alter my Resolutionsof going directly into the _North_ of _England_; for I govern'd my selfby this Dilemma, that in Case _Ireland_ was not reduc'd till I camethere, I might have the Opportunity of having a share in the Reduction,but if it was, the Passage between the _North_ of _Ireland_ and_England_ was very short. Upon this Bottom I began my Journey, I tookShipping at _Brest_ and landed at _Cork_, pursuing the rest of myJourney by Land, upon account of the Danger I was inform'd of in goingby Sea; for that several _English_ Men of War guarded the narrow Seasbetween _Dublin_ and _Holy-head_. When I came into King _James_'s Army,my first Enquiry was after my Brother, whom you may be sure Ientertain'd in the first place with the Consequence of his Duel at_Paris_; and though he often sigh'd to reflect upon his Misfortune inbeing the occasion of the _French_ Officer's Death, which might havebeen honourably avoided; yet he laugh'd plentifully, when he heard thePart I had afterwards in that Melancholy Farce; and rally'd me home whenI insisted upon Charges and desired to be reimburs'd with Sixty _Louisd'Ors_, which that Affair had cost me upon his Account; all theSatisfaction I could get was, that he thought I put a greater Value uponmy being his Brother, than to think it over-rated at that trifling Sum:The Life of a Brother, said he, is the only thing that can answer for aBrotherly Affection.

  The Scene of Affairs in _Ireland_ was very much alter'd upon raising theSiege of _London-derry_; Men and Arms were imported from _England_ onall Sides to make Head against King _James_, and several bloodySkirmishes happen'd in several Parts of the Kingdom. It wou'd make aVolume to account the Marches and Counter-marches both Parties made inthat irregular Country to attack and avoid one another. But where everit was my Lot to engage, the general Complaint was a want of Money,Ammunition and Arms; this (as it cou'd not be otherwise) made usunsuccessful under many promising Advantages. We had Men enough, andthose not destitute of Zeal or Courage; but to expose themselves Nakedagainst Arms and Discipline, was a desperate way of Engaging. But_France_ still went upon the old Politick Scheme to gain Advantages uponthe Continent by dilatory Proceedings in King _James_'s Affairs; forunless this was their Prospect, was it not a supine Piece of Managementto suffer a Body of near Thirty Thousand brave Men to lie unarm'd in theField above half a Year, when _France_ had Magazines and Stores tofurnish above a Million of Soldiers? But as King _James_ was not only tobe the _Dupe_ of their great Monarch, but the Sport and Game of hisMinisters, besides a general Topick of refusing him an Assistance uponthe Politick Motive of prolonging the War. It seems the Chief Ministerof State had some private Ends in these dilatory Proceedings, and King_James_'s Cause in _Ireland_ was also to be sacrific'd to thisGentleman's Resentments. The Case was this, _Lewis_ XIV upon greatImportunity, and to put a Gloss upon, and lay deep Colours upon hisPoliticks, condescended so far, as to order five or six Thousanddespicable Foot Soldiers for King _James_'s Service in _Ireland_, with aGeneral at their Head, who had been more accustom'd to lead up a CountryDance than an Army, and better qualify'd to break a Jest than look inupon an Enemy. This General, however, was according to King _James_'sown liking, though contrary to the Chief Minister's Design, who wantedthat Post for a Relation of his own. This undesign'd Affront of King_James_ in preferring _C.L._ to the Minister's Favourite, lost theBattle of the _Boyne_, and perhaps all _Ireland_; for the Chief Ministerwould neither send Arms nor Money to supply that brave Body of Men, butthrew them into the Circumstances of either dying unreveng'd, or savingtheir Lives by Flight. The History of that Battle has so many EyeWitnesses still alive for me to dwell u
pon it; I shall only make bold torelate what my Fate was upon that unfortunate Day, and how inglorious_France_ withdrew the sham Succours they sent _King_ James. My Post wasto Head a Company of _Fingalian_ Granadiers, who were plac'd in anOrchard which hung over a Defilee, through which we expected the Enemywould march after they had pass'd the River. I make bold to stile myCompany Granadiers, because they were design'd to be so when firstrais'd, but were now arm'd rather like Pioneers than Grenadiers; we hadnot above a dozen Granadoes, no Bayonets, and several without anyFire-arms; and if the Chief Men of the Action were no better equipp'd,'tis