Memoirs of Major Alexander Ramkins (1718)

by Daniel Defoe

and Inchantment. The Force being over, and we left to ourselves, the _Provincial_ returning up Stairs from conducting his Troopto the Door, Well, Gentlemen, says he, how do you relish your Diversion?_Et vous Monsieur le Prince_, if this will not bring you to your self,you shall be Dethron'd at _Lyons_, and put upon a Level with the rest ofthe Company; for he that pretends to put on a starch'd reserv'd Air upona Journey, make himself a Prince by his Distance, and so must eitherlose his Dignity by being good Humour'd, or pay the Reckoning like aPrince, and that we have Decreed shall be your Choice the Remainder ofthe Journey. The _Provincial_ gain'd his End, for either this comicalAccident was the Occasion, or the Term of the Gentleman's Melancholy wasexpired; for afterwards he put on a gay Temper, and proved tollerableCompany.

  We cou'd not content our selves with a single Nights Lodging in _Lyons_,that City is furnish'd with too many Rarities for the amusement ofStrangers, not to partake of a little more of their Money than anyVulgar Inn upon the Road. And as we none of us desired to carry morewith us than what wou'd Answer our Travelling Expences, so we joyn'd ina Resolution to divert our selves one Week or ten Days in that PopulousPlace. I had a Recommendation from _Paris_ to an _Irish_ Clergyman, whowas a Prependary here, and a Person of Repute. This Gentleman wou'doblige me to take a Bed with him during my stay there, which I was veryunwilling to accept of upon Account of my Company, however, he said thatwould be no Inconvenience, since I might take my freedom with them allthe Day, in case I wou'd favour him with my Company half an Hour beforeBed time in the Evening. I perceiv'd this Goatly Clergyman was of adifferent Stamp to the Generality of his Countrymen, and had a true Ideaof the _French_ Politicks, for discoursing one Night upon the Subject ofa Restoration, and finding I was a Person he might deliver his Mindfreely to. Certainly, _said_ he, never Prince was more the Game ofPoliticians and Fools than King _James_ II. His own Friends at homethrew him out of his Throne by their forward and indiscreet Management,and now he is bubbled with daily Hopes of Recovering it, when in realitythere was never any Design to bring it about. But King _James_ willalways be King _James_, and Judge every Man Honest, who does butpretend to be so; for pray, gave me leave Sir, will it pass for aseizable Story in future Ages. That _Lewis_ XIV should make War in orderto Restore _James_ II and keep above 40000 Men in constant Pay, andnever employ any of them that way. Twenty thousand Horse would have laidthe Three Kingdoms desolate in a few Weeks, but was there so much as onesingle Dragoon employ'd that way? Was not King _James_ forced to melthis Canon and debase the Coin with it, whilst _Lewis_ XIV could sendvast Remittances to _Constantinople_ to Support the _Turk_? Were not300000 Men driven like Sheep from the Banks of the _Boyne_ for want ofArms, while what wou'd have furnish'd a Million of Men, were Rusting inthe Magazines of _France_? Were not the Highlanders constantlyneglected, and fed with nothing but Promises, till they were reduc'dfrom a Victorious Army to a Troop of Banditti? Have not the Lives andFortunes of Thousands in _England_ payed very dear for these _French_Politics, by being encourag'd to rise up and Precipitate themselves intoRuin, by the Motions of Fleets and Armies upon sham Pretences of makingDescents. I own Sir, I am transported when I find an Opportunity to ventmy self upon this Subject. Had _Lewis_ XIV been streightned by theAllies, he might have some pretence of not affording so much Assistanceas otherwise he might; but in the last War, he was always Victoriousboth upon the _Rhine_ and in _Flanders_, and if after the Battle of_Steenheer, Fleurs, Landen_, and Victories at Sea, besides the vastnumber of Towns he reduced, he did not think fit to employ his Armstowards restoring King _James_, I must take the Liberty to think the Warwas not begun upon his Account, nor that it can be judg'd the Interestof _France_ (unless they act against their own interest, which they aretoo wise a Nation to do) to have him reestablish'd. But all this, Sir, Ispeak under the Rose; the Honour of the _French_ Court is too muchtouch'd by such Reflections as these to suffer them to go unpunish'd ifI should be discover'd. But I conclude from my worthy Friend at _Paris_who gave me your Character, that I might use any freedom in yourCompany. It may perhaps look like Ingratitude in me to reflect upon aPerson by whose Benevolence I possess this Post I have in the Church,which does not only afford me a decent Maintenance, but the Opportunityof obliging a Friend, but as I was a greater sufferer in _Ireland_, bygiving too much into _French_ Projects, so I look upon both this or anyother Kindness they can do me, as a piece of Restitution. The Frank andopen Satyr of this Clergyman against the _French_ Conduct was veryagreeable to my Temper, and I was not backward in seconding him in thesame Key. But while we were entertaining our selves with these dismalReflections, a Servant knock'd at the Chamber Door, so the Gentlemanstep'd to know his Business, and after about half a Quarter of an Hourreturn'd again. I have been, says he, this Fortnight engaged in a verytroublesome Affair, which is like to have an ill Consequence to theParty concern'd. Here is, says he in Town an _Englishman_, who has, ashe informs me, been studying at a College of that Nation of _Rome_, butfor want of Health is oblig'd to break off his Studies, to have theBenefit of his own Country Air, which the Physicians prescribe to him asthe only Remedy to patch up his decaying Constitution: But the poorGentleman, about Three Leagues out of Town, as he was steering hisCourse towards _Paris_, and so Homeward, met with a very unfortunateAccident. Walking on the Road about half an Hour before Sun setting, hewas overtaken by a Gentleman who kept pace with him, and ask'd him amongother Things how far he design'd to Travel that Night, the _Englishman_told him he was a Stranger to the Stages upon the Road, but he believ'dhe should take the Opportunity of the next Inn, for that it began togrow late. The _French_ Man appear'd very obliging in his Conversation,and told him he should have been glad of his Company, but that he wasoblig'd to turn off on the Right Hand to a Friends House, whither he wasgoing to divert himself a Day or Two. They had not gone a Hundred Roodfarther, but he stop'd and desired the _Englishman_ if he wou'd take apinch of Snuff, and then look'd backward and forward with an ominousCountenance, he Collar'd the _Englishman_, and drawing a small Pistolout of his Pocket, without any farther Ceremony, he cry'd _Ou la vie, oula Bourse_. The Business was quickly over, and the _Englishman_ robb'dof all his Stock, which was to the value of Nine Pounds _English_,besides a little Box of _Roman_ Coin, which were small Pieces of Moneyhe kept for Counters. The Foot-pad, after he had got his Booty, altershis Course, and turns back towards _Lyons_, charging the _Englishman_not to pursue him, nor yet go forward till he saw him out of Sight; forif he did, he wou'd certainly return upon him and deprive him of hisLife as well as his Money. There was no arguing the Case, and theSurprize was so great, that had there been any way of escaping thisAccident, 'tis probable it wou'd not have occurr'd at that time.

  As soon as the Villain was out of sight, the _Englishman_ loitered hisTime too and fro till it was dark, and then return'd backward towards_Lyons_, hoping to meet either with Credit or Charity for a small Sum tobear his Charges home, but not being able to reach the Town that Night,he put in at a poor Cabaret, where he open'd his dismal Condition to theMaster of the House, who being a very Compassionate Man, promis'd toentertain him _Gratis_ that Night, and conduct him to _Lyons_ the nextMorning. His first Application was to me; I promis'd to get him someRelief in a Day or Two, and the mean Time I procur'd him a Lodging. Thenext Day coming up a Street which leads to my House, he accidently casthis Eyes into a Habadasher's Shop, where he saw a Person sitting upon aStool at the side of the Counter chaffering for a Hat; his Back, and aSilk Bag his Wigg was tied up in, had so much the Resemblance with thePerson that rob'd him, that he stood gazing into the Shop so long, thatthe shop-keeper step'd to the Door, and call'd to him if he would comein and please to buy any Thing, upon which the Gentleman upon the Stoolturning himself about to look out of the Shop, he was known to be thesame Man who had committed the Robbery, and being in a Consternation tosee the Person he had assaulted stand directly before the Shop, he threwdown the Hat he had in his Hand, and leaving his Money upon the Counter,bolted out of the Door; but the _Englishman_ immediately alarm'd thewhole Str
eet, and the Rogue was taken and carried before a Magistrate.In the mean time I was sent for to assist the _Englishman_ in theNarrative of this Fact. At first the Foot-pad denied he ever saw thePerson, and as for the Money it cou'd not be sworn too; but the Box withlittle Roman Pieces being found upon him, he cou'd not stand that Proof,besides, it appears he can give no Account where he was the Evening ofthe Robbery, and the Innkeeper upon the Road, is positive he was one ofthe Persons which pass'd by his House that Evening; and to compleat all,several Persons who came in to see him out of Curiosity, depos'd, thathe is very like the Man, by Description, has follow'd that Road severalYears. To conclude, the