Memoirs of Major Alexander Ramkins (1718)

by Daniel Defoe

inform'd that I had express'd my self very improperly uponthe Matter, so as to blame the Dilatory Methods of _France_ upon hisAccount, I was order'd to be Prisoner in my Lodgings, but releas'd aftertwo Days Confinement, with a threatening Charge, never more to reflectupon the _French_ King's Conduct. I do not remember where I spoke theWords, or in what Company, but I believe I might make a loose upon theirManagement who prefer'd the _French_ to the King's own Subjects uponthis Expedition; adding withal, that it look'd as if such Persons had noDesign the Project should take Effect, but this was enough to shew I hada jealous Mind.

  About this Time my Company, with the rest of the Regiment, was order'ddown into _Flanders_, and having been a considerable Time absent I wascommanded to attend there. My Brother-in-law who was one of the Robe inhis own Country, and unacquainted with the Wars, yet was moved with acertain Curiosity to see a Campaign, and tho' much against my Sister'sWill, resolv'd to accompany me into _Flanders_; yet his Principal Motivewas to make a Halt at _Doway_, whither he had been invited some timebefore by a near Relation belonging to the _Scotch_ College in thatUniversity. We went together in the _Cambray_ Coach, and after a shortstay at _Doway_, we proceeded on to the Army, which then was under thatexpert and resolute General the Duke of _Luxembourg_. It was certainly akind impulse of Heaven that gave me my Brother for a Companion upon thisOccasion; for an Action happening soon after, viz. the famous Battle of_Launden_, where it was my Misfortune to be dangerously wounded. I hadthe Satisfaction of my Brother's Company and Assistance during a tediousSickness, which was the Consequence of my Wounds. The _French_ were nogreat Gainers by this Battle, though they at long run routed the Enemy,and kept the Field; for besides the great loss they sustain'd during theAttack, which far exceeded that of the Allies, the Victory was not wellpursu'd. It was my Post to reinforce a Party of _French_ Fusiliers, whowere order'd to Storm the Intrenchmenent, in which Service a Bullet waslodg'd in my Shoulder, which besides disabling me on one Side, the lossof Blood I suffer'd was so great, that I was not able to support myself, but drop'd down and had been trampled to Death under my own MensFeet, had not a strong Body'd Drummer hurried me out of the Croud uponhis Back; but he carried me off with such Precipitation, that one of theEnemies Troopers seeing me at a Distance, and thinking me to be somebodyof Consequence, sprung after me upon his Gelding, and carried both meand the Drummer into a Village on the left Hand of the Attack, whereseveral Squadrons were posted. The commanding Officer who was a Colonelof the _English_ Guards, finding, I was of the _British_ Nation, order'dme to be laid in a Barn with a Centinel to guard me, and the Surgeon ofthe Regiment was immediately call'd for to dress and tie up my Wounds. Ihad not been in that Lodging above an Hour, but the Village was attack'dby the _French_ Gens d'Arms, and there was a Tryal of Skill between theFlower of both the Armies, in which Action the _French_ at last wereSuperior, so I was releas'd, but it was equal to me in the Condition Iwas in whose Hands I fell into, for I had so many fainting Fits whichsucceeded one another, that I expected not to survive any of 'em. MyBrother, whom I desired to go to _Loraine_ during the Action had a Mindto be a little nearer, so remain'd with the Baggage, but met not with metill the next Day, that we both went in a Waggon to his Lodgings in_Loraine_, where I was confin'd three Months before I was able toTravel.

  In this Retirement it was that I began to be very Serious: A SoldiersLife has many Occurrences which are not very reconcileable to strictMorality. To comprize my own Character in relation to Christianity, Iwas neither a Saint nor a Devil. The Pains I felt were very Sharp, andhindred my Rest; my Blood was heated and boiling up to a Fever, whichbeing agitated with daily dressing my Wounds, it requir'd a skillfulPhysician and a good Regimen in the Patient, to stave off a Fit ofSickness. My Brother prov'd an excellent Nurse, and had he not us'd agreat deal of Reason in keeping me from improper Nourishment, the Gamewould quickly have been up with me. I was also waited upon severaltimes by a worthy Clergyman, who neglected not to give me Penitent Hintsto have regard to the main Concern; I return'd him Thanks, and gave himto understand I would make use of him when there was more urgentOccasion. When I began to grow a Valetudinarian, and that my Woundsbegan to heel up, I had the Liberty to drink _Loraine_ Beer, which ismuch celebrated in those Parts. As yet I had drank nothing but Tissansand such like Decoctions, which being very mild upon the Palate, did notgive content to the inward dryness and thirst I felt by the loss ofBlood. But I quickly repented this Indulgence of tasting the Beer, Itook such deep Draughts that I relaps'd into a dangerous and mostviolent Fever, in which I acted all the Parts of a dying Man, besidesmaking my Exit; I was delirious above three Days, which though it wasbut a melancholly Sight in it self, yet I behav'd my self so various inmy rambling Discourse, that it occasion'd no small Diversion to such aswere present, and had no immediate concern in my Welfare. I besieg'dTowns, rally'd scattered Forces, accepted Challenges, wandered over the_Alpes_, and pass'd over several Seas without Ships; I was in theOrchard at the Boyne, under the Walls of _London Derry_, and divertedwith the fine Rode to _Lions_, and what I thought I should never have inmy Head again, some amorous Ideas, though very faint one's, discover'dthemselves, and I was heard to talk of Snuff-Boxes, Periwigs, and_Spanish_ Ladies. My Brother who heard me, and to whom I had discover'dthat Intrigue, burst out into a Laugh when he heard me name Snuff-Boxes;for this was enough to make him believe the Passion was not dead in me,which he horded up to rally me with.

  During this Entertainment which I gave the Spectators, my Brother hadsent for the Priest, but I was then in a very improper State to settleAccounts in Relation to the next World. However, the Gentlemanapproaching my Bed, and calling upon me to hear whether I could return arational Answer. He bid me lift up my Heart to God, and call upon myRedeemer. But I, as I suppose, taking him to be one of my Sergeants, bidGod--D--n him for a Rascal, why had he not been with me before? for theColonel had order'd a Review shou'd be made at Eleven a Clock. ThePriest shrugg'd up his Shoulders, sprinkled me with Holy Water, andretir'd to the Window, where my Brother and the Physician were attendingmy Fate. When my Delirious Fit was over, which was about an Hourafterwards, I turn'd my Eyes towards the other Side of the Room, where Isaw three Persons leaning in the Window with their Backs towards me; andnot being entirely recover'd from my Delirious State, I fancied my selfa Prisoner at _Constantinople_, and that my Brother, the Physician, andthe Priest, were three Mutes sent to Strangle me; but in an Instant ortwo I return'd to my self, and discover'd whose Hands I was in. This wasa terrible Attack, and the Enemy had made such a Breach, that I desiredto wisper a Word with the Priests, telling him I wou'd Capitulate nextMorning about Eight a Clock. Afterwards I recover'd very leisurely, andtook great Care not to be too bold with the _Lorain_ Beer. My Phicianadvised me not to remove from that Place till I was perfectlyestablish'd, assuring me there was not better Air in all the_Netherlands_. I follow'd his Advice, for I cou'd not think him promptedto give it me through Avarice, for he was so very moderate in his Fees,that I thought my self oblig'd at our parting to make him a handsomePresent. My Brother who was a Man of Letters, and very curious in hisEnquiries, had a good opportunity during our stay here to get acquaintedwith several learned Men of this University. One of the first accountwas Dr. _Martin_ an _Irish_ Clergyman, who had a lively Genious and wasalso a Person of great reading. In the mean time my Sister at _Paris_began to grow impatient for her Husband, but she bore his Absence thebetter when she understood how useful he had been to me during mySickness. However, we made bold to Trespass a little further, by takinga turn round the Country. It was not a Journey entirely of Pleasure, forI was oblig'd to go to _Amsterdam_, there being a stop put to theInterest of my Mony, so I was resolved to see that Matter rectify'd. Sohaving obtained a Pass from the Allies, under the Quality of two_Scotch_ Merchants we began our Journey. When I came to _Amsterdam_, Iwas very much surpriz'd to understand the odd Occasion of my Money beingstop'd. It seems a Countryman, of mine who had fish'd out something ofmy Concerns, and saw me fall at the Battle of _Launden_, hadCounte
rfeited a Deed in the Nature of a Will, which imported, that allmy Effects in _Amsterdam_ were left to him, he being my Brother, anddemanding it as his due. The Banker had the Deed perus'd by severalPersons, it had a great appearance of being Authentick, and my Hand wasso inimitably clap'd to it, that when compared with what was certainlyknown not to be Counterfeit, 'twas impossible to discover theDifference. Now the Banker desired this pretended Brother of mine tohave Patience till he had an account from _Paris_ whether or no I wasdead, and the general Report being that I was kill'd at _Launden_, thiswas the occasion that the Money was neither paid to my Correspondent norto my Sham