Unwanted

by Mari LaRoche

Vivian flinched internally, and she fought not to look away. Her vision grayed. Anger flared as she struggled against the coercion, and Ušum joined her, twisting the torrent of compulsion away.

  Mistress of her own thoughts, she opened her eyes again.

  Donal and Nia had moved away at a walking pace, Viv saw from the corner of her eye, heading in the same direction as Amir but widely separate. Approaching scuffs in the sand behind her resolved into Nunamnir, standing next to her.

  The dragon’s long muzzle-beak opened. Enunciating perfectly, Tiamat said, "I'm going to eat all of them. I told you I will not tolerate you associating with the children of the sun. Nunamnir, I am displeased."

  A hundred feet away, within a swipe of the dragon’s forelegs, Amir stepped back and to the side, a single movement, fiery wings now visible. Donal and Nia continued their steady pace to him. Why were they moving so slowly?

  If they moved fast, she’d chase. It’s what ancient things do. It’s the wisest way to move around her. Nia’s braver than I imagined; young as she is, that aura should send her running.

  And me?

  You are of the blood, so it affects you less.

  If this was a lesser effect, then Nia was tough.

  “Really, Tiamat?” Nunamnir folded his arms. “This drama is unlikely to endear you to her current incarnation. She’s fond of bright shiny things.”

  Between one eye-blink and the next, the dragon dwindled into a woman.

  The new form still dwarfed Vivian, at least seven feet tall. She gazed down on them with eyes blazing the color of molten copper. Naked, her skin glowed pale, a stark white not seen in human flesh, not warmed by any color. Blue-black hair flowed past her knees, tangled and knotted. Her strongly featured face was triangular and narrow, the nose hooked, but the whole of her features melded into a terrible beauty.

  “It is so good to see you." Teeth gleamed white and sharp in an edgy smile. Tiamat’s face had stabilized, now a woman of Viv’s age, dark-skinned and curly-haired with wide dark eyes and a prominent nose. Lines from a life lived on the edge traced the edges of her eyes and mouth. Her long dress, made of seafoam and black water, flapped in tatters around her body, exposing flashes of skin as the tatters shifted. “The stubbornness. The foolish decisions. I’ve missed them.”

  “If you want to continue interacting with me, then do not hurt my friends.”

  The edgy smile vanished, and one long-fingered hand tightened into a fist. "Ground rules. First, you don’t question me. Second, there's always a reason for what I do. Third, you have terrible taste in friends."

  Not this again. Be ready to duck.

  Vivian readied herself to dodge a blow. "Explain how they are bad friends."

  The goddess sniffed scornfully. "Of course you'd ask that. You have to be difficult, and you want what will burn you. I’m done with you chasing children of the sun instead of your own kin. Nunamnir would be a good start; the babies would be powerful and terrifying. And you should not question me right after I told you not to."

  “I didn’t question you. I requested a statement be clarified.”

  “I don’t recall volunteering to father broods for you, either. Ušum is not one I want to parent with.” Humor colored Nunamnir’s words; Viv had no idea how he was able to dig laughter out of a terrifying situation.

  Out at sea, clouds piled up on the horizon, and lightning struck the water, flashing from cloud to cloud.

  Tiamat slashed a hand through the air in a flat sweep, her eyes intent on Vivian. “I am your mother! You will obey me!”

  Fear and awe took Vivian’s breath away. It eased as amusement bubbled deep within her.

  I find humor the same place he does. This is absurd.

  Viv questioned her sanity as the wind shifted and sprayed seawater in her face. She licked her lips, nerves ascendant but unwilling to back away while her people were in danger.

  Yes. Keep her focus on you. The farther away they are, the safer. Out of eyeshot is best.

  "If you’re an ancient goddess, why are you speaking English?" Vivian folded her arms.

  The sea surged around their ankles though they stood feet beyond the high-water mark. "Because, unlike many of my children, I am not a fossil. I live. I change. I am change. How will you ransom these insects from their destination in my belly? Nothing worth having is free."

  A single step, and she stood by Viv, long-fingered hands framing Viv’s face, the touch tender. Viv’s skin wanted to leap off her face in fear.

  Nunamnir sighed gustily. “Sentimentality is tedious. Isn’t her time of value, Tiamat? It’s limited at the moment.”

  "What do you want to leave them alone?" The urge to bite, to chew on what frustrated her, welled from her gut even as she leaned into Tiamat’s touch. She didn’t like either impulse and fought to stay still.

  "Prove to me that you remember who you are. Tell me the location where you’ve dreamed the keys so I can send your sisters and brothers to take them."

  Vivid images rose in Viv’s mind: a gigantic serpent and a bird whose wingspan covered the sky. Ušum felt alarmed.

  That breaks many ancient treaties; I assume you want something other than a scorched wasteland when you return to earth. That’s what they would leave.

  “Wouldn’t that break my world?”

  “I don’t care. I can always remake it! And this is your world, my daughter.”

  Careful…

  Viv drew a breath. "I don't remember any dreams of the keys’ location. If I remember, I will tell others. I’m not supposed to tell you, Mother. You told me that when you gifted me with them."

  Damn. You’re getting too many memories.

  Tiamat considered. "You must remember something of the location.”

  Viv shook her head. An earthquake tremor rocked the island, and she stumbled. She raised her chin and pretended the movement hadn’t happened.

  "Let me help." Tiamat spread her arms wide as if for an embrace.

  Vivian stayed put. "I think avoiding a hug would prove me an offspring who survived.” She spread her fingers. Claws had sprung from them, reacting to her fear and stress. They shone white in the moonlight. "Isn’t this a start? I need time to practice and remember."

  "Yes, it is. And you do."

  "Then why not let me go with my chosen minions?” Vivian couldn’t keep the frustrated snarl from her tone. The water was knee-deep, the wind whipping her hair.

  Tiamat regarded Viv with hauteur, hair unmoving in the wind. "What price are you willing to pay?"

  Vivian raised her chin. "For what? I’m doing you the favor."

  The goddess’s eyes narrowed, and a weight of fear as big as an elephant pressed on Viv’s chest. "True. And I should repay all the favors you’ve granted me, before your death, and make certain you do not die again. I love you best, Ušumgallu. I wrestled for you and won you away when Death came for you."

  “Good to know,” Nunamnir’s amusement was plain. He hadn’t moved, his bulk both annoying and oddly comforting. “I won’t look for you when I die, Aunt.”

  He’s an ass, but you know where you stand with him, and he’s on our side in this.

  Tiamat’s snort was as impressive as the rest of her, her slitted gaze on him a moment before it returned to Vivian. “I fought my brother and ripped your essence from him, to preserve you so you could be reborn. I am your mother. I birthed you, and I have missed you. Why are you fighting me?”

  Because you plan to kill people I love.

  Vivian found herself in perfect agreement. The three had edged farther away during the discussion, taking advantage of the time Vivian was buying.

  “Why wasn't I simply reborn as a dragon?" They weren’t positive creatures in ancient tales. Viv didn’t want to be the villain.

  "Because you were dead. My brother Death carries the essences of the dead back to the spheres of life. Those energies mix and are then harvested to breathe new souls into babies. Only humans contain the entirety of possibilities, so you needed to be b
orn as one of them so you could reshape yourself when your soul became strong enough."

  "Why? You’ve killed children of yours before."

  Nunamnir’s low voice. “Many of them.”

  "Because you are one of my oracles, because you are mine, and because I wasn't going to let that jumped up daoine sidhe with delusions of grandeur gain any permanent leverage in the Reckoning. Only I kill my children with impunity." The hate hissed in Tiamat's voice, a physical blow.

  Blood dribbled from Viv’s nose from the force of it, and she pinched the bridge in hopes of stopping the flow of the nosebleed.

  A terrible smile, lovely as the dawn, illuminated Tiamat’s face.

  Viv took a careful step back. "Why can't you punish her directly?"

  "Because she hides in the human dominion where I can’t go. Because she bought her father’s favor and her new power by keeping me here.” Tiamat’s eyes glittered, cold and stark as starlight. “They killed you, my favorite seer. I will chew on all their bones, all their children’s bones until none of them remain for that crime and that insult. Let Marduk weep for lost children as I have wept."

  The thunder of her voice deafened Viv.

  Tiamat turned to stare at where Amir had moved to. “Now they die.”

  In Godhome, the magic poured in at Vivian’s call. She sucked as much of it into her body as it could take. Her body wanted to expand, and she let the energy flow in half-remembered patterns.

  Scales clothed her, wings and tail erupted as she swelled enormously.

  As the magic flooded her and her body shifted to dragon, memories flooded through her. She hung suspended in agony, her skin flensed away, Morgan's exquisite countenance smiling down at her.

  The red lips parted. “He planned this before you ever met. He lured you to me; everything was a lie. Why would my son ever condescend to screw a filthy animal other than for the greater glory of Marduk? You aren’t even worth him watching your torture, wyrm.”

  Memory after memory rose: Donal and Amir had worked together to try to save her when they detested each other with a passion surpassed only by the glare of the noonday sun on barren sand. And years before that, gliding through a sky like velvet, chasing the light of twin moons. Bellowing in the fury of battle, gulping down the enemy and savoring the taste and wriggle as they went down whole. Diving in the sea, her home, playing with the Marid and herding whales. Amir, arguing interpretations of the latest sagas and why human poetry surpassed any other—fueled by their brief lives. Offering his hand to her when she stepped out of the sea. Donal rising over her in passion, his eyes and face impossibly young. Zeyaad, naked beneath her, tugging her hair to pull her down into a closer embrace.

  The memories pounded at her like the sea against a cliff. Viv crumbled, cascading into a past not her own, clutching at her sense of self. She flailed in the water, and a strong hand caught hers, hauling her up and out of the seething chaos.

  She looked up at the owner of the arm pulling her from the vortex. A clearer view of Ušum; taller, possessing an angular face dominated by a strong nose and equally prominent jaw, a woman with eyes all colors and none. She stood on the air; strong legs braced as she hauled Viv up, her grip like iron. A smile creased her face, her canines prominent. “Well, that didn’t turn out well, did it?”

  Vivian shook her head.

  Ušum’s wry grin answered her assent. “Be careful, I’m holding us apart, but there’s not much space left. I want to be separate.”

  The air split between them, a narrow slit of blazing light bright enough to make Viv squint.

  “That’s the way back to the real world and your conversation with our mother. Try not to get us killed. I have plans for a hot date once I get a body again.” The strain on Ušum’s face belied her light tone.

  Viv shoved herself forward. The world greeted her with an array of scents and colors sharper than she’d experienced before; she could see each scale defined on the wall that was Tiamat rising above her. The water that had been waist high rippled over her feet, a pleasant sensation. She flexed, and her wings extended as she raised on her haunches, her tail helping balance her.

  Instinctive movements, like walking.

  "I said no." Her dragon’s throat could make words!

  Not a word that Tiamat apparently recognized.

  "We can share them. It’ll be like you’re a hatchling again." Tiamat had shifted to dragon form now, much larger than Viv.

  Suddenly queasy, Viv rejected the set of memories that rose from that comment, of still struggling flesh and screams. The coaxing tone, like it was a treat, didn’t help.

  "Any rending that needs to be done, I will do, when I choose to." Vivian’s tone was firm. “They’re mine.”

  Tiamat pulled her head back. The immobile face didn’t express emotion well; like a cat, the dragon’s tail and shoulders did most of the work to show her feelings. The stare seemed quizzical. "You defy me?"

  Rather than direct defiance, Vivian thought a distraction with semantics might work. She didn’t want to get into a physical fight with a dragon more than double her size.

  "No. I just refuse to do what you tell me."

  "That's the definition of defiance."

  "Aren’t we both from a time before definitions really meant anything?"

  Tiamat laughed like an avalanche of rocks descending on a village. "Then I’ll only take one.” She collapsed back to woman form. Darkness spread over her skin like a spill of ink, coloring every inch. An obsidian figure now stood before Viv. She raised her arm, finger spread and stiff.

  "You are not welcome." She clenched her fist. “You were warned.”

  The voice clanged in Vivian’s ears, and the after echoes hurt.

  Darkness engulfed Amir.

  No! Discarding caution, instinct guided the forward snap, and her jaws engulfed Tiamat. She bit down.

  It was like biting a sharp seed. Hard, and what looked like a soft fleshy body didn’t break.

  Vivian choked and spat. The woman landed on her feet, disheveled, now with dark curly hair and a bronze tan.

  “Nice try. Now he dies.” Malice and satisfaction saturated the voice.

  Darkness spread over Tiamat’s skin like a spill of ink, coloring every inch. An obsidian figure now loomed over them. She raised her arm, finger spread and stiff.

  Bones cracked.

  “No!” Viv tasted blood in her mouth as her throat tore with the scream. She flew the distance, landing next to him, dwindling to human form.

  Nunamnir strode forward, slashing a hand, cutting the darkness to ribbons. Let him go. Viv hadn’t heard him speak like that.

  Tiamat’s eyes narrowed, and an unkind smile curved her mouth. “As you wish. You know what I want, the price you’ll pay.”

  “Done.” Nunamnir’s tone chilled Viv, so much anger and malice.

  A buffet of wind nearly flattened Viv as Tiamat took flight.

  The black cloud vanished. Amir lay on the ground, blood trickling from ears and mouth.

  "Safe?" Donal asked. Both he and Nia crouched by Amir. Donal shaped the sand next to Amir, forming it into a ridge around him. He pulled out a flask and dribbled a dark oily liquid on the sand as he worked. “This will harden the sand as a support so we can move him.”

  “He’s bad, dying. He needs help now.” Nia touched her fingertips to his chest and crooned, a melody that seemed to ease his breathing.

  “Unicorn. Or Caladrius.” Nunamnir. He eyed Viv narrowly. “I hope you haven’t lost the likable qualities you acquired, if you want to persuade either of them to help.”

  Have her take out the smelly unicorn hair. I can call up a gate that will take us to one using the correspondence.

  “Nia, your bracelet. Ušum says she can use it to form a gate that will take us to a unicorn.” She couldn’t take her eyes off Amir, found herself trying to breathe for him, in synch with his labored breathing.

  Nia continued singing, pulling the baggie from a pocket and handing it to Viv. Vi
v tipped it into her palm. The light hairs gleamed like spun silver, and it smelled worse than week old fish on the shore.

  She struggled to find her voice through incipient tears. “We need to save Amir first while we’re still distinct. We need to find a mage after who can make Ušum a body. We don’t want to merge, and we’re getting too close.”

  “Consideration. That’s an improvement on your first life.” Nunamnir’s dry rumble earned an irritated glance from Viv.

  She willed Amir to live as she tried to focus the energy to create the gate. Her emotional disturbance made it impossible to focus and hold the energies.

  Let me have control of the body to make the gate. We need to be quick. We’re sharing too much.

  “He’s ready to be moved.” Donal tilted his head, brow raised.

  “Good luck, to all of you. Remember what I taught you, Kua. A unicorn in that dominion is going to be fierce.” Nunamnir caught her gaze. “Be wise.”

  A new memory surfaced. He’d given her the nickname fish when she was young and small, to point out how easily she could have been prey had he been hungry. He’d always had an irritating air of superiority.

  Viv nodded. She could almost remember what needed to be done to set the gate to search out something like the hairs. She stroked Amir’s hair, shivering at the cool feel of his forehead, then let herself be submerged.

  19

  The crackle of the gate as she passed through it, and her hair raising with the energy, snapped Viv back to awareness. Ušum had abandoned her immediately.

  The gate shimmered near to a small house built of stone and wood. The scent of pine filled the cold air. Green conifers intermixed with bare limbed deciduous trees fringed the cleared area, most of which was covered in snow drifts.

  Where the clearing ended, the forest was exuberant, filled with skeleton shrubs crowding against the trees. The faint rotten fruit odor confirmed there were unicorns nearby.

  Nia emerged, cast measuring eyes at the forest. Viv squawked as Nia grabbed her arm and dragged her toward the cabin. The snow made it heavy going, thick and clingy, like wading through mud.

  “Shooters; get to cover!”