The Road to Rose Bend

by Naima Simone

  “You know what else isn’t a good look? Gossiping. But if you have nothing better to do with your time than talk about my life, then who am I to stop your good time?” Sydney spread her arms wide, never losing her smile, although it felt brittle on her face. “Knock yourself out.”

  Jenna’s eyes narrowed and she stepped into Sydney’s personal space. All pretense of civility dropped, she once more skimmed Sydney from head to toe, her derision plain.

  “You show up back here knocked up by a man who didn’t want you, seeking sympathy like we all don’t remember who you really are. A nobody who always thought she was better than she truly was. And somehow you convinced Cole and his family to drink the Kool-Aid. You think being pregnant and writing some worthless grant to help him save face in front of the council makes him indebted to you? It might have gotten him to marry you, but it won’t keep him. There’re bets going around town on how long this so-called marriage will last. I don’t give it three months. Pity and gratitude will only last so long. It won’t keep him from one day waking up and seeing what a mistake he’s made.”

  “What is wrong with you?” Sydney murmured, pain at the other woman’s well-placed barbs burrowing deep. Unearthing the doubts and worries that had already been sown into Sydney’s heart. But damn if she would let Jenna see it. “What have I ever done to you that makes you so vicious? So spiteful?” she asked again, same as she’d done the night of the rally. She hadn’t received an answer then, and she didn’t expect one now. “Yes, I might have been a rebellious pain in the ass when I was younger, but I’ve matured, hopefully grown wiser in eight years. But you? Except for one year when you were actually human, you’re still the same spoiled mean girl you always were. And for what?” Sydney huffed out a humorless chuckle. “You’re beautiful, smart, wealthy, privileged. And yet, you’re like a toddler whose favorite toy has been taken, and now you’re throwing a fit.” Sydney shook her head, and amazingly a seed of sympathy for this gorgeous yet unhappy woman wormed its way into her chest. “I’m sorry if you wanted Cole, and he didn’t reciprocate those feelings. I really am. He’s a good man. But I refuse to be your punching bag. Find someone else, because I’m no longer interested in the position.”

  Sydney started to turn and head down the stairs, but Jenna grabbed her forearm, halting her. Anger flared hot within Sydney, and she shook off the hold. I’m pregnant, she reminded herself. I’m pregnant so I can’t lay the mean lady out.

  “Don’t put your hands on me. Ever,” she bit out, narrowing her eyes on Jenna.

  Crimson mottled the other woman’s face, and an ugly sneer twisted her red-painted mouth. “Let’s get one thing perfectly clear. If I wanted Cole, he would be mine. And there is nothing you could do about it.” Sydney nearly rolled her eyes at the juvenile retort... Oh hell, screw it. She did roll them. Good and hard. Which served to enrage Jenna further if the furious glitter in her eyes was anything to judge by. “And don’t you dare pity me,” she spat. “You’re so high and mighty when you couldn’t even keep your new husband home on his wedding night. Oh yes—” she nodded, her smile cruel, vindictive “—he was seen driving all around town on the night he should’ve been home with his wife. Instead he ended up at the cemetery with the woman he really loves. And that woman isn’t you. The fact that the two of you still live in that tiny, ridiculous rental cottage tells me everything I need to know about how real this marriage is and how long it will last. Cole has a huge house, beautiful and fully furnished, and he still hasn’t moved you into it.”

  What?

  Sydney flinched, unable to contain it as Jenna’s revelation slammed into her with the force of a Mack truck. Cole had a house? Since when? Why hadn’t he mentioned it?

  Then a memory crashed into her from the wedding reception.

  Where are you two living? Are you going to move into the—

  Valeria, Tonia’s mother, had been about to mention something when Cole had abruptly cut her off with a terse “no.” Had she been talking about this house Jenna referred to? If so, why was he hiding it? Why didn’t he want...

  The answer burst in her head so hard and bright, Sydney winced.

  Because it’d been the house he’d shared with Tonia. The house where they’d planned to raise their child.

  Pain stole her breath, nearly choking her. Blindly, she reached for the rail behind her, steadying herself before her trembling knees collapsed under her.

  “Oh, this is just perfect,” Jenna cooed, chuckling in malicious delight. “You didn’t know about it, did you? Probably because he doesn’t consider you good enough to live there. Why would he when—”

  “Shut up.”

  The new voice, sharp and furious, had Jenna spinning around and Sydney’s gaze landing on Eva Wright. The older woman stood in the doorway of city hall, her small frame stiff with the anger that lined her face and crackled in her voice. She stepped forward, the door slamming shut behind her, and advanced on Jenna. Though she had at least five inches on the older woman, Jenna shrank back, alarm flashing across her face before she assembled her expression into a polite mask that didn’t fool anyone. Least of all Eva, who only glared harder.

  “You’re a nasty piece of work, you know that, Jenna Landon?” Eva snapped.

  “Ms. Eva, I don’t know what you mean...”

  Eva snorted. “Don’t even try it. I overheard enough of the poison you were spewing that this,” she circled a finger in front of Jenna’s face, “won’t cut it with me. I would say you ought to be ashamed of yourself, but we both know that would be a waste of breath.”

  “But Ms. Eva,” Jenna said, trying to placate the woman again. “I was just being honest with Sydney...”

  If possible, Eva’s glare burned hotter, and she nearly vibrated with anger. “It kills me when people try to wrap up their cruelty in that big bow of ‘just being honest.’ What would you know about honesty? Truth is given in love not spite. Something you know nothing about. You were intentionally trying to hurt this girl, and for what? To make your own petty, small existence better? Take your nice/nasty self out of here before I lose every bit of the Christianity I’m holding on to by the chin hairs.”

  Jenna’s shoulders snapped back, her chin following suit. “You can’t talk to me like that,” she snarled. And if agony wasn’t still throbbing inside her like a fresh wound, Sydney would’ve rolled her eyes. Again.

  “I just did.” Eva harrumphed. Holding a hand up between them, she flicked her fingers. “Now get out of here. Run home to tell your daddy what I just said. And make sure you add that maybe if he’d put a paddle to your ass you might not be the spoiled brat you are today.”

  Maybe it was respect for her elders that bridled Jenna’s tongue. Or maybe it was a very real fear of this intimidating woman. Either way, Jenna scowled, then charged down the city hall steps, probably to do just as Eva predicted—running home to tattle to Daddy.

  God, later, when it didn’t hurt to breathe, Sydney would look back on this and fall out laughing. Right after she traded high fives with Eva Wright.

  “Sydney. Honey,” Eva murmured, moving forward and clasping Sydney’s elbow. “Let me walk you to your car.”

  “Isn’t that my line?” Sydney joked. But the hoarse tone and her inability to force a smile caused the teasing to fall flat. “She was telling the truth, wasn’t she?” she asked Eva.

  Before the other woman even answered, her sad gaze confessed, telling Sydney everything she needed to know. “Honey, you should be having this conversation with Cole, not me. And definitely not with Jenna Landon. Let me take you to him,” she gently offered.

  “No,” Sydney barked. Then, immediately regretful, she softened her voice. “I’m sorry, Ms. Eva. I didn’t mean to disrespect you. But no. That’s okay. I can find him on my own. I... I’m going now.”

  “Sydney, please,” Eva insisted. “You shouldn’t be driving in—”

  “I
’m fine. Really,” Sydney interrupted. Again, not intending to disrespect the older woman, but she desperately needed to leave. To get away before she crumbled right here on the city hall steps.

  “Okay,” Eva conceded, worry still heavy in her kind brown eyes. “But promise me you’ll talk to Cole. Don’t let Jenna poison what you two have.”

  What they had? What did she and Cole have? At best, a mutually beneficial arrangement. At worst... At worst a fake friendship based on secrets, half-truths and pity.

  No, Jenna couldn’t poison something they’d never possessed to begin with.

  But instead of explaining all this to Eva, Sydney nodded, rummaging for a reassuring smile. And failing.

  “I promise.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  THIRTY MINUTES AFTER Cole received the frantic call from Eva Wright, relaying what she’d witnessed between Jenna Landon and Sydney, he pulled up outside the home he’d spent five wonderful years in with Tonia. His heart pounded, momentarily deafening him, as he opened his car door and stepped out. All the moisture fled from his mouth, and he stopped in front of the hood, for a moment, his feet frozen to the street.

  He hadn’t been to this house since after the funeral two years ago. Hadn’t been able to cross the threshold of the home where he’d planned a future with such hope and joy. His future and his family had both been snatched away from him, and while this house stood as a cruel reminder of all that he’d lost, he hadn’t been able to sell it. It was theirs—his and Tonia’s. To get rid of it—to allow another happy family to live in it when they couldn’t—felt like a betrayal. So, he’d closed it up. Except for the cleaning woman he’d hired to go through it once a month, no one entered his home.

  And now the front door was wide-open. From his position on the street, he could just glimpse the mantel in the entryway with a vase of long-dead flowers.

  Grief, pain and anger, welled up inside of him—so much he damn near shook with the overwhelming cascade of emotion. No one should be there. No one. Not even him.

  His fury propelled him up the walk and stairs to the porch. And finally, into the house.

  Memories plowed into him, and he shot out a hand, flattening it against the entryway wall to steady himself. Dragging in several deep breaths, he tried to wade through the images of him and Tonia here in this home—sharing breakfast, watching television, hosting family dinners, laughing together, preparing the nursery—and shoved off the wall. He shifted forward, his feet sliding over the hardwood floor. Movement caught his eye, and he glanced to his left, spotting Sydney standing in the large living room, studying the collection of framed photos on the mantel. Photos he’d refused to bring to the cottage.

  Nothing had changed in two years. The same light blue curtains hung at the bay windows. The same couch, love seat and coffee table occupied one half of the room and a medium-sized piano sat in the other. Two small armchairs and an area rug claimed the space in front of the fireplace. It was like stepping into a time machine where a happily married couple still resided here. Loved here.

  “I saw this house,” she announced, as if talking to herself. But she wasn’t. The tense set of her shoulders and erect line of her back telegraphed her awareness of him. “On my first day back in town, I noticed it and thought, ‘That house is a home for a happy, loving, noisy family.’ Instead, it’s like a museum,” Sydney murmured. “Or a shrine.”

  That anger sparked again. Thank God.

  “What are you doing here? How did you get in?”

  She didn’t turn around when she answered him but continued to stare at the photos. “Leo. Don’t be mad at her, though. I lied and told her you gave me permission to come here. You should’ve seen how happy she was when she turned over the key and offered me directions. I think your family believes this marriage is starting to heal you, that you’ll let go of the past. But we both know that’s a lie, don’t we?” She shook her head. “You’ll never let go.”

  Finally, she turned around, and again, another blow slammed into him. Though she wore a calm, composed expression, her eyes... Jesus, her eyes pierced him to his soul. All the emotion absent from her face—confusion, betrayal, fury, pain—darkened her eyes. On instinct, he shifted forward, but she moved back. Away from him. And goddamn, if that didn’t stab him just as deep.

  “You lied to me.”

  “I didn’t lie to you,” he objected, hating the coldness of her voice. Part of him wanted to stride over to her, clasp her to him, beg her to rage, yell, curse him. Anything but that chilly tone that gave him nothing.

  But the other part... That part hungered to rage itself. To order her to leave this alone. That he didn’t have to share this with her.

  She arched a dark eyebrow. “Really? We’re going to play the semantics game? A lie of omission is still a lie.”

  Impatience curled within him and he slashed a hand through the air. “This house has nothing to do with you,” he snapped.

  Her body flinched as if his words had struck her. Shit. He hadn’t—

  Scrubbing both hands over his head, he turned away, swearing softly under his breath as he paced. Remorse rushed in, swirling in his chest. Dammit.

  Abruptly, he faced her again, his hands stretched out, palms up. “I’m sorry, Sydney. I didn’t mean it like that.”

  Silence roared in the room. No, not silence. Pain, vibrating between them so loud it was deafening.

  “You’re right, though,” she finally murmured. “This house has nothing to do with me. Or else you would’ve told me about it before someone else did.”

  “Sydney,” he whispered, but she continued as if she didn’t hear him. Or didn’t want to hear him.

  “Do you know how humiliating it was to hear about a secret home you owned from Jenna Landon, of all people?” she rasped, shaking her head. For the first time since he’d entered the house, emotion leaked from her voice. Hurt, sadness. Betrayal.

  “This house,” he swept an arm out, indicating the living room and foyer behind them, “wasn’t a secret. I just never thought—”

  “Lies.” Her tone hardened into a steel he’d never heard from her before. “Valeria brought it up after our wedding and you cut her off. You thought of this house. I’m willing to bet you think of it every day. And every day you made the choice to hold its existence from me, because then you wouldn’t have to explain why you couldn’t move me and my child into it.” She laughed, the sound brittle...bitter. “Jenna was right about one thing. You had no intention of telling me about it because to you, I’m not worthy to grace these hallowed halls.”

  Rage swelled within him again, not at Sydney, but at the idea of her not being worthy. She was...perfect. And for her to believe otherwise? Everything in him howled to move forward, to enfold her in his arms, shelter her with his body. Protect her from those sacrilegious thoughts.

  But one glance at the stiffness of her frame, as if one touch would shatter her, and he didn’t give in to the impulse. One look into those beautiful but dull brown eyes, and he knew she didn’t want anything from him.

  “That’s not true,” he said instead. “Don’t ever say that again.”

  “Okay, then.” She notched her chin higher. Was she bracing herself for another verbal blow? Since when did she have to protect herself from him? “You tell me why. Why didn’t you tell me about your home?”

  “It’s not—” He ground his teeth together, fisting his hands at his sides. Anything to keep him from reaching for her. “It’s my past. And it has nothing to do with us.”

  The explanation sounded inadequate to his own ears, so he wasn’t surprised when her lips twisted into a humorless smile.

  “The past has everything to do with us. It permeates us. This house you’ve held on to for two years but don’t live in and won’t let anyone else live in either. The baby you can’t bring yourself to talk about or touch. You can’t even have sex with me wit
hout a condom. It doesn’t take a genius level IQ to figure out it’s because Tonia was the only woman you’ve been with like that. You were hers first and only hers. And you’re only letting me have so much of you. But I refuse to settle for those crumbs anymore.”

  Before he could reply—could lie—and tell her she was wrong, she shook her head, holding up a hand, palm out.

  “No, I don’t want to hear that I’m wrong. You wouldn’t just be lying to me, you would be deceiving yourself. Cole, did it ever occur to you that I would understand?” She lowered her arm, wrapping it around herself. “Just like our wedding night, if you’d only talked to me, I would’ve told you I’m okay with not living here. I get it. I don’t even know how comfortable I would’ve been making this place my home. This was yours and hers, together. A place of love and hope. I don’t want to take that away, or Tonia and your son away, from you. I don’t want to erase them. I don’t even want to take her place in your heart. I just want you to put me next to them. Make room for me. But you won’t share. You’re locked inside your grief, your pain and anger. And for a little while I thought maybe being there for you...loving you, could free you. But I can’t. Nothing and no one can but you.”

  I thought maybe being there for you...loving you, could free you.

  Loving you...loving you...

  “No,” he whispered. Then louder, hoarser. “No.”

  “Yes,” she said, sadness darkening her eyes even more. Sadness and a firm resolve. “I love you. Even though the most foolish thing a woman can do is fall for a man who isn’t willing to invest all of himself, I did it. I became that foolish woman. Oh, don’t worry.” Another sardonic smile dipped in weariness. “I don’t expect you to return the words or the sentiment. And I’m not telling you this to emotionally blackmail you, either. It’s my choice to let you know that you aren’t a rebound for me. You’re not just an impulsive whim. You’re not just the man who gave me his name in a bargain. You’re my heart, my gift. And I need someone who will see me that way, too. For so long, I’ve been second place in people’s hearts, their Plan B. With my parents, with Daniel. Even with myself. And now you. I competed with a ghost for my parents’ love for too many years to count. I won’t do the same with you. Not anymore.”