by LJ Byrne
Lucas shakes his head, exhaling sharply. “No. I told him there was nothing further to discuss.”
I’m not sure if Lucas’s ever discussed his father’s violence with anyone other than me. I gently brush his blond hair back. “You may want to hear him out,” I say to his startled face. “For closure. Regardless of your feelings for him, he is your biological father.”
Lucas considers my words. “If you could meet your father, would you?”
“Yes, but only out of curiosity. I wouldn’t want any father-daughter talks.”
Charles groans. “Do you guys ever sleep?” He stands up and leaves the room in search of a quieter place to crash.
Mason starts snoring and I stifle a giggle when Katrina and Bruce tiptoe out. That leaves me with Lucas on the bed, Jasper and Brock on the floor, and Mason on the settee. Lucas settles back on the bed, yanking me so I’m resting against his chest.
“We haven’t talked about after high school,” Lucas murmurs, his fingers in my hair.
My eyes are closed. “I may take a year off. I don’t know.” I burrow deeper in his arms.
“Wherever you go, I’ll follow you.” Lucas kisses me again as I fall asleep, smiling faintly.
CHAPTER 6
Brock plays on his guitar. “I’m going to take a year off. Focus on my music,” he says suddenly.
It’s been a while since Jasper has simply lingered to take part in a conversation. His cyan eyes linger on the singer drolly. “You need to take advantage of your newly polished star.”
Brock is quiet. “We make good music together, Elena. Are you seriously thinking of retiring from the music industry?”
My legs dangle over the edge of the sofa as I lean against Lucas. “I am. At least, I don’t plan on pursuing music actively. There are things I want to do. Degrees I want.”
Jasper lowers his lids, but I sense him observing me. “No more dreams of world domination?” he asks lightly.
“I’m taking a step back. On the advice of an old friend.”
My words evoke a huff of laughter. “A wise one.”
Brock walks over to me. “You picked me that year and I blew it, didn’t I? If you had picked Lucas, it would’ve been Lucas with Ashley on his lap. Would you still choose Lucas if that had been the case?”
I glance at Lucas and take in his stormy eyes. “No,” I say.
“I wouldn’t have had Ashley on my lap if Elena had picked me,” Lucas interjects coldly. “I wouldn’t have slept with her and I wouldn’t have had my hand up her skirts.”
I raise a brow, thinking about the girls’ restroom. Lucas runs a thumb over my lower lip. “I knew that day,” he murmurs to me.
“Rhodes wins, Brock, because he didn’t screw another girl to make his point. And of us all, he’s sacrificed the most,” Jasper laughs to himself. Lucas scowls, but he knows Jasper’s right. That doesn’t stop him from frowning at Jasper’s retreating back.
“There are things I’ve forgiven but not forgotten,” I say with a distant look in my eyes. “I never forgot that Mason dumped the glue, or the way Brock rubbed Ashley in my face. My heart was intact, but my pride…” I trail off.
“Stay with me,” Lucas whispers, lifting my chin, while Brock hangs his head. “I will never forgive myself for letting you suffer like that.” He rubs the scar under my shirt. “I should have been there.” His mouth tightens in pain and regret. “I should have told you then how I felt.”
For a moment, I disappear the way I used to, drawing away so I don’t have to deal with the painful memory. Lucas holds me quietly, letting me decide when I’m ready to speak again. After a long moment, I lift my head as Lucas brushes his lips over my cheek. There’s soft moisture when his lashes brush my temple.
“We should talk about Thanksgiving,” Lucas says gently. “I won’t spend another holiday without you. I know you’re going to see your parents. Take me with you.”
“John hates you.”
“I know. But I intend to be part of your life for a long time,” he tells me with a cocksure smile. “They have to get used to me.” He kisses me thoroughly.
Pressing my forehead into his chest, I mutter, “It’s your funeral.”
My parents’ cabin is a cute three bedroom situated among big, leafy trees along a gravel road. I wince as Lucas’s Aston Martin – which I negotiated into the original deal for Lucas – travels to their new home. “It’s a car,” Lucas says as I wince again. “I never realized how impractical it is as a mode of transportation.”
It’s cool enough that the bugs for the season have abated. As we approach the cabin, I see my mom outside, sitting in a rocker on the porch, her dark hair muted strangely as she watches us pull up. She’s well-bundled – a heavy blanket draped over her shoulders, another one across her lap.
Lucas helps me out of his car as John walks outside, arms crossed. That doesn’t bode well.
“Look, John, it’s our daughter,” Mom says with a lilting voice filled with wonder. “She has a friend. Has she ever brought a friend home before?”
“Hi, Mom,” I say softly, climbing the wooden steps. John grabs me in a huge hug and then steps back to glare at Lucas. “Hey, Pops.”
Mom doesn’t rise, but she takes my hand and presses it to her cheek. “You used to be so little,” she murmurs to herself.
“Sir,” Lucas says, extending his hand. John stares at it like it carries the plague. After a pause, he turns to my mother. “Mrs. Kano.”
“A handsome young man,” Mom says. She takes his hand and Lucas gives it a gentle squeeze. “You’re a—friend?”
Lucas is somewhat defiant as puts a hand on the small of my back. “I’m her boyfriend.” His gray eyes linger on my lips. “We’re dating.”
“Yes, Elena mentioned that,” John says with a disapproving frown. “I thought I taught her better.”
Mom blinks. “Oh, John, you don’t like him. Why don’t you like him?”
Lucas grips my waist tighter. “Mrs. Kano, I behaved poorly when I first met your daughter.”
“Is that what you call it?” John demands, his dark eyes wide with anger. “What you did to her—” John’s hands clench. “I should thrash you.”
“Pops,” I warn. Mom makes a humming sound.
“Oh, did he hurt you, dear?” Mom closes her eyes and I freeze. “Yes, yes, he was there. I remember now.” She grimaces. “My daughter. You hurt my daughter.”
“I did, and my acts are unforgivable. Your daughter – Elena’s an amazing individual.” Lucas’s taut body is the only sign of tension. “I can’t ask you for forgiveness or expect it. I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to be worthy of your daughter.”
John hisses. “Life? You’re eighteen, boy.”
Lucas lifts his chin. “It may seem very young to you, sir, but I already know how I feel about her.”
John’s sturdy frame stiffens. “Elena, what say you?”
I brush Lucas’s blond hair back with my hand, which he captures to press a kiss to my palm. “He gave up everything to be with me, Pops. He didn’t pour the glue or the feathers, Pops.”
“You can’t have her,” Mom says in a flat voice, her eyes huge with anger. “I won’t let you hurt her. I’ll kill you.”
“I’d rather die than hurt her,” Lucas chokes out with emotion. “I love her. I’ve been in love with her for a long time. Mrs. Kano—”
I press Lucas’s hand. “Mom?”
“I won’t let him hurt you, Elena,” she whispers to me. “He wants to see if you’re like him and take you away.” I inhale sharply when I realize she’s talking about my biological father, Peter Spark. She blinks again and her eyes clear. “Let’s go inside and have some tea.”
John helps her inside and we start to follow, but Lucas holds me back for a second. His gray eyes search mine. “I mean it, Elena,” he says softly to me. “I wasn’t strong enough to stand up for what I believed in back then. I know the right thing to do is to let you find someone worthy of you, but I’m too s
elfish to let you go willingly. I swear I’ll never disappoint you again.”
“I know.” I tilt my head. “What would you have done if I had picked you for the party instead of Brock?”
Lucas’s gray eyes shadow with pain. He momentarily presses his forehead to mine, his long fingers stroking the moonstone necklace around my neck. “Don’t laugh. Do you remember that necklace you refused from me? If you’d said yes, I was going to run off with you that night. Sell the necklace. Tell you what was happening and take you far away. I was sixteen and it seemed perfectly logical.”
It is the worst plan I’ve ever heard. Lucas sees what I’m thinking as he tucks me to my side inside the cabin. It’s a good thing I don’t rely on him for my plans.
“You’re making fun of me in your head,” Lucas mutters to himself. I decide to remain silent.
I pause inside the cabin. My mother is making tea. She even has a teapot and teacups.
“First, rules of my home,” John says very officiously. “My home, my rules. Got that?”
“Yes, sir.” Lucas sounds suspiciously meek. It’s rather entertaining.
“After we tuck you into bed,” John ignores my incredulous gasp, “I don’t want you wandering around. You are not to be in Elena’s room at any time. I don’t care if she’s fallen and can’t get up. You don’t go in there with her. Also, I don’t want you making moves on our daughter. You can start by not touching her all the time.” He waits until Lucas’s hand drops from my waist. “And finally, if I had my way, I would be digging a hole in my yard and dumping your body in it.” He ignores my strangled sound. “I’m only being nice because Elena asked me to be nice.”
“Pops, your nice kind of sucks,” I opine dryly.
“If you’d come in with that Mason kid on your arm, you would realize that this is nice,” John says and it’s the harshest voice I’ve ever heard him use towards me.
“I think the tea is ready,” Mom says, and she does look pleased with herself.
“Did you get everything I needed?” I ask since John’s making this awkward. I take a cup of tea from Mom. A memory of Mom tucking me into bed with a cup of chamomile tea lingers in my mind.
“I did,” John says. He’s trying to relax, and it finally occurs to me that John may have been more impacted by what happened to me.
“Pops, I’m not going to make excuses for Lucas’s behavior back then,” I begin, “but he was sixteen. We’re allowed to make bad decisions at sixteen.”
Lucas shakes his head, his gray eyes meeting mine. “It’s okay, Elena. I deserve it. They love you. You’ll never fully accept me if they never do.”
And then Mom does something quite extraordinary. She walks over to Lucas and then nods to herself like she’s made a decision. “John, don’t you see, he looks at her the same way you look at me.”
I do the whole Thanksgiving dinner with Lucas’s help. Under John’s watchful eye, we do the dishes before we head out to sit on the porch. I want to video Lucas drying dishes, but I don’t. Lucas bundles me in a blanket and holds me close to his chest. For a while, we sit contently as the sun sets. I think back to my mother’s words about Peter Spark. I’d always been led to believe that she’d had no contact with him. But her words imply something else: he’d asked about me.
“Your mother knew better than to trust him,” Lucas reminds me. “Whatever the reason, it was the right choice. She kept you safe.”
I’m silent. I may never know what transpired between my mother and my biological father. I won’t risk my mother’s health to satisfy my curiosity. Peter Spark hurt her when he abandoned her, and he hurt her again when he presumed she would simply give him what he wanted.
“You know, Katrina said that her dad raved about your mashed potatoes,” Lucas recalls, tucking my hair back. “Now I know why. They’re really good.” When I don’t respond, lost in my thoughts, he kisses the base of my neck and then works his way up to my chin. His touch brings me back, and I stir. I move my head to give him access to my lips as his hand shifts beneath the blanket to hold me closer, his fingers stroking the skin at my waist.
I’m aware of Lucas’s reputation on campus, but he’s careful with every step of our relationship. He asks before he takes it one step further, letting me decide when I’m ready. As his kiss deepens, I can taste his restraint and desire. Someday, when it’s time, he won’t have to hold back.
“I can see you two out there,” John says loudly, making us both jump guiltily. There’s silence and then John adds, “Just keep it PG-13.”
Lucas whispers, “Does that mean I can kiss you?”
“I think so,” I whisper back.
There’s a softness and tenderness in Lucas’s eyes. “Good.”
CHAPTER 7
Lucas is right, John does warm up to him a little. They may never be best friends, but John does tolerate Lucas enough that he doesn’t blow a gasket when Lucas does stop by my room for a video chat with Katrina.
With Christmas around the corner, Katrina and Mason invite Lucas to stay with them. When I encourage him to accept, I know he’s disappointed and a little hurt, but he says nothing. Instead, we get swamped with finals to keep us busy.
As we head off for winter break, I promise Lucas to arrive early for the Mavericks’ party. Brock and I are headed to Los Angeles to tape a Christmas special, but I make a pit stop to visit my grandmother.
I’ve kept in touch with my grandmother periodically. Since I started at Highbury, I see her twice a year as requested. I can’t explain why I bother to visit her, but there’s a strange connection I feel in her presence. And I can’t forget that she was instrumental in getting me access to the Dollar Club. When I walk into her parlor, she’s dressed in a fine suit, her hair perfectly done, her fingers heavily ringed. I don’t call her grandmother. She is simply Corinne.
“You look well,” she says. There are no hugs and kisses. “Are you pleased with all you’ve accomplished or is it not enough?”
Corinne is not one for small talk. She gets right to the point. “I’ve done what I set out to do,” I tell her. “I’m ready to change directions. I don’t think it’s necessary to take down the Club. There are – things – in motion. But I don’t want to get lost in it. It’s minuscule in light of what I want to do.”
Her eyes are assessing, evaluating. “What do you want to do? Sing?”
I give a short laugh. “No. I like music. I love to compose. But this is too much. I want to keep learning. Study. Grow. Feel.” I pause. “I want…” I trail off and think of Lucas. “I want passion. Adventure. I want someone who loves me with a love that consumes him. I want to feel alive.”
My grandmother lifts one fine brow. “You speak frankly for one so young. Love is an intangible thing. You desire an emotion. This is not the same Elena who came to me looking for her father’s genius.”
I can’t tell if she’s disappointed in me. She’s hard to read. She lifts a small box wrapped in gold wrapping paper. “A gift. For you. I wasn’t sure if I was going to give it to you, but I’ve made my choice. My only request is that you open it on Christmas.” As she hands the box to me, her frail fingers wrap around my hands. “Lucas Rhodes. You’re with him now, aren’t you?” I’m so astonished that I simply dip my head. “An interesting choice. Go now. I’m weary of visitors.”
That’s my grandmother for you.
Brock and I arrive at the Maverick mansion after a crazy 5 a.m. flight. “Remind me not to do that again,” I mutter, yawning in his car.
Brock is wired with so much coffee that I’m surprised he isn’t leaking coffee from his pores. I’m pretty sure that much caffeine is bad for his heart. “Babe, we need to get you your driver’s license,” he says to me, his hands tapping on the steering wheel to some random tune in his head.
“I don’t need a car just yet, but yes, this coming summer,” I agree.
He casts me a sideways glance. “Lucas is different. He’s… happier.” Brock is still tapping his steering wheel like mad. “
What’s your plan for BSGirl after graduation?”
I close my eyes, leaning back against his comfortable seats. “I don’t know. I don’t think I thrive on music the way you do.”
“Your talent is incredible, Elena,” Brock states. “You could go anywhere with that ability. Do anything.”
I give an unfeminine snort. “Talent is just half of it.” I think of what I told my grandmother. Her gift to me is in my bag, still wrapped. “I don’t think I like being famous.”
Brock is silent as we arrive at the Mavericks’ household. “I guess it’s not for everyone.” His eyes glitter as Lucas opens the door to greet us. “Seriously, was he tracking us?”
Lucas, impeccably dressed in dark blue slacks, a tight shirt, and a jacket, opens the car door. “I missed you,” he murmurs, cupping my face gently.
I giggle. “Brock thinks you were tracking us.”
He meets his friend’s eyes. “She texted me, you dimwit.”
The singer scowls as he grabs his bag and mine. “You know she wants to quit singing, don’t you?” he asks as if Lucas is somehow to blame. “You need to tell her why that’s dumb.”
Under my hands, I feel Lucas tense slightly. His eyes are guarded when he responds, “Do I?”
This is not something I want to discuss. My nerves are on edge as we enter. Katrina squeals when she sees me, hugging me, while Mason seems to have just woken up with the way he is sitting in a chair.
“Have you given some thought to staying overnight?” Lucas queries, slipping an arm around my waist to hold me close. “You’ll be exhausted if you try and leave tonight after the party.” Concern laces his voice, but there’s something else to his request. “Or… I could drive you in the morning.”
I step out of his embrace, letting Katrina grab my arm. “I could use some tea.” Katrina and I share a glance. She already knows what’s going on and I only hope Lucas isn’t angry with me. I leave Lucas in the foyer.
