Scandal

by Grace Kagni

  Alessandro ran his hand through his hair and let out a deep breath, remembering the terrible feeling of waiting in the emergency for news - any news but he knew from past experience that money couldn't buy you time nor could it buy you a cure for a terminal illness. What it could buy was better medical attention and so he started by requesting a private room for Alessia and finding out who was the Director of the hospital. The name was provided within 10 minutes along with a cell number, which he dialled right away. The Director responded and when Alessandro gave him his full title, he could almost hear the Director standing on attention on the other side of the phone. After receiving a brief description of what had happened, the Director said that he would ensure that Alessia was placed in a private room and that full attention would be given to treat her condition.

  He thanked the Director and went to sit down a moment to calm his nerves. The smell of the hospital brought back memories that he'd wished never to think about again but here he was in the same position as he'd been with his wife. The only difference was that he'd been married to his wife whereas he'd offered nothing more than a trial period to live together with Alessia. He sat with his elbows on his knees as he lowered his head feeling the full force of shame that he'd put Alessia through so much. He'd never been like that with his wife and yet if he cared about Alessia as much as his wife, then why did he push her past her limit, torturing her body like she deserved to be treated in that way. The shame washed over his body, leaving him completely lost and vulnerable.

  "Onorevole Medici-Veronesi?" asked a young doctor wearing a white doctor's coat over green surgical garments.

  "Si, sono io," Alessandro said standing while he approached the doctor. Yes, it's me.

  "We had to operate urgently to stop the haemorrhaging and when we realized that she'd been suffering from a dangerous infection which completely damaged her ovaries and uterus, we were forced to perform a complete hysterectomy on her. I'm very sorry," the young doctor said.

  Alessandro stood there a moment taking in what the doctor had just told him and he suddenly realized that the doctor was standing with his hand out to shake his. Alessandro shook his hand and asked when he could see Alessia.

  "She's being brought to the private room as we speak so I'll have one of the attending nurses take you to her immediately," the doctor said.

  "Thank you for your help doctor," Alessandro said before he saw the young doctor turn and go back into the emergency ward.

  Alessandro sat back down and felt sick to his stomach at what was happening. His mind went back to when he found out his wife was sick and then the growing fear when the treatment didn't work. He didn't want to go through that again and he was going to give Alessia the best medical treatment possible for now; then he was going to pamper her like he'd never done before. His stomach knotted thinking what he'd done to her while she was suffering from this infection. It must have been terrible for her but why didn't she say anything to him if she was in pain? Then he realized that she was scared to lose her job in the beginning and recently she may have been afraid of losing him.

  A nurse came by ten minutes later to bring him to Alessia's room, so he followed her with his two guards into the elevator and up to the sixth floor, down the corridor to the end where it was quiet.

  The nurse opened the door and walked in to see if Alessia was awake, touching her arm to tell her that she had a visitor. Alessia opened her eyes slightly and the nurse looked up at Alessandro telling him he could stay for 10 minutes.

  He nodded in agreement and waited until the nurse left before he approached Alessia. Her arms were full of tubes and her face was deathly pale but her eyes expressed her happiness in seeing him.

  Alessandro walked to her side and took her hand in his, stroking the back while he looked at her. His eyes suddenly became moist and a tear ran down his face as he looked into her eyes.

  "How do you feel?" he asked after he cleaned the tear away with the back of his hand.

  "I feel groggy but ok for the moment. The doctor said I lost a lot of blood and have to stay here for a few days," she said softly.

  "Yes, I heard," he said while he pulled the chair close to the bed to sit down.

  "I won't be able to stay very long tonight but I'll come back early tomorrow morning with some of your things. Is there anything in particular that I need to bring to you?" he said as he watched her expression change to sorrow.

  "The doctor had to remove my ovaries and uterus from an infection," she whispered.

  "I know. I've spoken to the surgeon," he said as he kissed her forehead.

  She started to cry silently, tears running down her face while she turned her face so he couldn't see.

  He turned her face to look into her eyes and he could see the sadness deep inside her. "You'll be ok in a few days after you've had some rest."

  "You don't get it, do you?" she asked through her tears.

  "Get what?" he asked confused.

  "I won't be able to have any children - ever!" she whispered as her tears flooded down her face.

  "Amore, I'm sorry that you won't be able to have children but there is always adoption," he said.

  "That's easy for you to say," she said.

  "I know it's a shock to you right now but once you've had time to recuperate, you'll see that there are other possibilities out there," he said knowing that her mind couldn't think straight now but she would understand in the future when she was better.

  "There's no reason for you to stay. No commitment and no ties was our plan anyhow. I'll move my things out of your house as soon as I am released from the hospital," she said as she looked into his blue eyes.

  "Move? What are you talking about?" he asked.

  "It'll be a while before I can have sex again and so there's no reason for me to stay with you," she said coolly.

  "Is that what you think? Do you think that I asked you to move in for the sex?" he said with steely eyes.

  "Isn't that the main reason? I know you care about me but this changes everything. I won't be able to have sex for quite a while and I'll never be able to have children so what's the point in our relationship?" she asked while she watched him stand and pace the room.

  "Is that what you think of me? That I want you around only for the sex?" he said as he ran his fingers through his hair while he paced.

  She watched him as he paced nervously throughout the room until he came back to her side. "There's no way I'm going to let you move out. Obviously, I've lead you to believe that I don't care because if you don't see how much I love you and that I never want to be separated from you, then I have a lot to make up for the pain that I've caused you."

  She remained silent a moment, seeing the pain in his eyes. Just when she was about to say something, the nurse came in and told Alessandro it was time for him to leave. He pleaded another five minutes, which she granted and after the nurse left, he turned to Alessia and took her hand again.

  "Darling, I'm sorry if I've lead you to believe that I don't care about you or that I only wanted you for sex. The truth is far from that, I nearly had a heart attack when I saw you in a pool of blood tonight and I realized how much I love you. You matter more to me than anything else in this world and if you give me a chance, when you feel better and are released from the hospital, I will shower you with my love. I want to take care of you, protect you and worship you. I don't care about sex. It's your heart that I want, not sex," he nearly whispered the last sentence.

  There was hope in her eyes while she looked into his blue eyes and as the nurse came back to tell him that he needed to leave, he bent down to kiss her softly on the forehead. " Try to get some sleep and I'll be back in the morning with some of your things." Leaning down, he looked at her in the eyes and whispered I love you before kissing her gently. Then he followed the nurse out the door and took the elevator down with his two guards to their car. When he walked out into the night air, he felt the coldness hit him across the face like a revelation. He needed to c
hange the way he did things with Alessia and he was committed to gaining her trust and faith, which he realized he never had.

  His life was changing again but this time Alessandro felt that he could make things better. Many things ran through his mind on the drive back to his house and he started making a checklist on his phone of things he needed to do the next day.

  Alessia lay in the hospital bed feeling a deep sadness inside knowing that she couldn't have any children. She'd dreamt about having children since she was young. She dreamt of having the prince charming husband, living in the large house with the two children, a boy and a girl to be precise, and a dog. That had been her dream and now it was gone. Being an only child, she didn't have anyone else and so she'd always thought she'd create her own family. Now her life was turned upside down and she needed to think about what she would do when Alessandro became tired of her because she was sure that he would sooner or later. Then she'd have to go back to her old life with nobody but her father to worry about.

  The nurse came in and gave her a sedative to help her sleep; within minutes she slumbered off.

  Chapter Six

  Alessandro woke up bright and early the next day and he managed to get most of his tasks listed accomplished before leaving the house. He called the office and informed them that he'd be working from home for the rest of the week, not mentioning anything about Alessia being in the hospital. That was a personal matter, which needed to be guarded from gossip. He owed Alessia at least the courtesy of being sick in private. Nobody needed to know about it unless she decided to tell people herself.

  He got into his car with his guards and he asked them to stop at the florist before going to the hospital. The traffic was hectic early in the morning so it took them a while to get to the florist but he was served immediately and placed his order of a small bouquet of red roses to be delivered each day to Alessia with a note that he would deliver to the florist each morning on his way to the hospital, he paid and was back in the car within 10 minutes.

  His next stop was at the jewellers where he placed an order for a ring that he hoped to give to her in the near future. His mind was set that he would ask her to marry him when he'd gained her trust. Not knowing how long that would take, he decided to have the ring made in the meantime so he'd ask her when he knew the time was right. Once he'd gone over the design he wished to have made, he selected a pair of earrings from their showcase that would go nicely with the ring. After paying for the earrings, he took the gift bag and got back into the car to go to the last stop on the way to the hospital. He stopped at a gelateria to get Alessia a particular flavour of homemade ice cream that he knew she liked and would brighten her spirits.

  He arrived at the hospital just after breakfast was served so when he walked into Alessia's room, he saw her sitting up eating her pudding that was most probably tasteless and watery. She turned when he walked into the room and smiled as she saw him walk in holding more than his hands could carry.

  "Tesoro, how are you feeling this morning?" he asked.

  "I'm feeling a little better. I'm trying to eat this pudding but it doesn't want to go down so I think I've had enough of my breakfast," she said pushing the table away from her.

  He looked at the contents of what was on the breakfast tray and lifted his eyebrows before saying, "It doesn't look appetizing and probably tasted as it looks." There was a piece of dry burnt toast, the pudding and a glass of milk.

  He leaned over to kiss her on the forehead before putting down all the bags and then pulled out the bag with the ice cream. "I think you will like this instead." He pulled the container out of the bag and pulled off the lid before placing it on the table before her.

  Her eyes lit up and she grabbed the spoon to taste the ice cream. Closing her eyes and smiling, she moaned at the texture and taste that got her taste buds exploding in her mouth before she opened her eyes and grinned. "Thank you - you've really made my day!" She ate the entire portion, relishing every spoonful as she brought it to her mouth. When she'd finished the last spoonful and pushed the tray away, she leaned back against the pillows and said, "I feel full now."

  "Amore, your stomach has tightened up because you haven't eaten anything in two days. I'll bring you some proper food for lunch and dinner and you'll see how soon you'll pick up. You'll be ready to leave in a couple of days," he said while he searched her eyes for any hint of regret he saw yesterday but it seemed to be gone. Her eyes sparkled with promise, regardless of the dark circles and the pain she must be in, but they showed hope, which made his heart swell.

  He pushed away the table and pulled up the chair to sit beside her bed and while they were chatting, the florist came it to deliver the first bouquet of red roses.

  She looked at him while he pretended not to know anything about it and after placing the bouquet on her lap; she saw the envelope attached which she'd seen before. It was from Alessandro's personal writing paper with his seal on the back. She looked at him before opening the envelope to read the handwritten note.

  Darling, these past two days have been like torture seeing you in pain. You have been submissive to my every whim and I sat back and watched you with great courage adapt to what I ask of you.

  Today, I want you to know how much I admire your corraggio (courage) and thank you for having walked into my life.

  With love, Alessandro

  A tear ran down Alessia's cheek as she read the note and looked up at Alessandro. He held her hand in his and caressed the back without saying a word. She lifted the bouquet of flowers and took in the wonderful scent of their freshness. Then she looked again at the note and asked, "Why is the letter c of courage in red?"

  "You will find out in a few days. Keep the notes that you receive and the red letters will form a word that you will receive when you leave the hospital," he said while he stroked the back of her hand as it rested on the bed.

  She nodded and then she put the note in the night table drawer before lifting the bouquet toward him, "Will you ask a nurse to put these in water please?"

  "Yes, of course," he said as he stood up and took them from her hand. He walked out of the room.

  Alessia watched as he walked out of the room and wondered why he hadn't walked out of her life yet. Sure, words like I love you, Darling, Amore and Tesoro were always nice to hear but sometimes they were only words that were easily spoken. She could see he was trying to put an effort into making things right with her but what she didn't understand was why? He could have any woman so why did he continue to pursue her knowing full well that she couldn't have any sex for a long while and then the fact that she wasn't complete anymore. The surgeon had removed parts that justified her female existence. Now not being able to have children, she was like a faulty toy - one that would never work properly.

  Just then Alessandro walked back into the room and she pushed her worries to the back of her mind. She needed time to decide what she needed to do and being in the hospital gave her a little distance to clear her mind.

  Then the nurse came in to say that the morning visiting time was over so he bent down to kiss her softly on the lips and said he'd be back in the afternoon. Then he walked out and was more determined than ever to gain her trust in him. He occasionally saw confusion in her eyes but he knew that his plan would win her over so he went back home to plan his next steps.

  Alessia slept on and off during the rest of the morning and then she woke up with a knot in her stomach that she couldn't get rid of. What if she loses her job now that she'd be out sick for a few weeks? The doctor said that she'd need to rest at home for at least three weeks after the operation and suddenly the thought of the hospital bills and the seniors' home bills worried her more than ever. How could she cope with all the bills if she lost her job? She also had to pay the rent, the utilities, etc. Her stomach was in such a knot that she couldn't eat anything when lunch was served and so she pushed the table away and lay down on her side, facing the window. She was lost in her thoughts when the door opened
and didn't notice Alessandro walk in. He walked around the bed to see if she was asleep and found her staring at the window, almost in a trance. He put down the bags he was carrying and went to touch her hand.

  "Amore, are you ok?" he asked, worried that something was wrong.

  She snapped out of it and looked up into his blue eyes. "Oh, yes I'm fine. I was daydreaming."

  "You didn't look like you were daydreaming. Normally people daydream about nice things. You looked worried. Is everything alright?" he asked again.

  "Yes of course, why shouldn't it be?" she asked.

  "Because you looked worried about something a moment ago. Is there something I can help you with? Is it your father?" he asked.

  "No, there's nothing you can help me with," she said as she tried to sit up but felt the pain from the stitches. It winded her a moment and she had to wait to catch her breath.

  "Let me help you," he said as he tried to help her sit but while he helped her turn over, he sensed she was holding something back. "Alessia, please tell me what's bothering you. I want to help you but if you don't talk to me, I can't help you feel better."

  She was sitting up now in the bed and after adjusting the sheets, she looked up at him. "My life has drastically changed from one moment to the next and I need time to adjust. It's not easy to accept what has happened and so it's not something you can help me with. Do you understand? I need to work things out on my own."

  He pulled the chair closer to sit down before talking. "It's normal to be confused and feel like your world has been turned upside down. You've had an operation that will undoubtedly change your future but that doesn't mean that your future will not include children. There are many other ways to have children from surrogacy to adoption. When the time is right, we can look into these options."