by Lexi Wilson
The more work I had to distract myself with, the better.
Everything was pissing me off these days. I hadn’t spoken with Maisie since our conversation the day before, and I quite frankly didn’t want to. The only good thing about the situation was that I hadn’t heard from her lawyer, which I half expected to. She was not at all above calling in the legal system when she wasn’t getting her way, and I had been checked on more than once by the court to make sure I was complying with the terms of our divorce agreement.
It was frustrating, and it was a waste of my time. But then, Maisie didn’t seem to have much else to do than make my life more difficult and annoying than it already was.
The only person I wasn’t frustrated with these days was Stella, my new secretary. In the past two days, she had consistently amazed me with how organized she was. Everything that needed to be done was done, and often before I had to even ask. I found that the things I needed to see in the day magically appeared on my desk — at times she would come in and slip them in place when I was on the phone, at other times I wouldn’t even know when she was there.
She was efficient, she was fast, and she kept primarily to herself besides bringing me what I needed to get through the day. She was the perfect solution to many of the problems I was having. I wished she could spill some of that over into the other parts of my complicated life.
My phone rang, and I was surprised to see my daughter’s cell number pop up on the screen. We had purchased her her own phone young so she could keep in touch with both of us, though I insisted she keep her communication strictly to family at her young age.
Kellie was too young to be tainted by the ways of the world. I knew that would come soon enough. In fact, likely sooner rather than later considering the way her mother modeled life for her. I picked up the phone.
“Hello?”
“Daddy!” Her voice was shrill and sharp. Immediately, I knew she wasn’t getting her way.
“What is it, sunshine? I asked, preparing for the worst.
“Come out here! The lady won’t let me inside!” Her voice was demanding, but I was confused. It was spring break, so she shouldn’t be in school, but I didn’t understand what it was she was trying to say. What lady? Come where?
“What are you talking about, sweetheart?” I asked, and she sighed. I smiled in spite of my confusion. She was certainly one of the more dramatic children I had met, and though she was always quite good-natured about the condition she was in, she was a diva in her own right. She was my entire world. There wasn’t a thing I wouldn’t do for that child if she asked.
“I’m outside your door, but I can’t get in! I need you to come out here and tell the lady to let me come in!” Her voice was even more demanding than before, and I rose from my desk. I had my cell phone to my ear as I walked across my office and opened the door. To my surprise, my daughter was, in fact, waiting for me in the lobby, Stella standing next to her with a look of confusion on her face.
“Daddy!” Kellie shouted when she saw me. I dropped to my knees and wrapped my arms around her, holding her tight as she held her little arms around my neck. Today, she was dressed almost exactly like a mermaid. She wore her green, shiny leggings with a bright purple shirt, her wig of choice being a green that almost matched the scales on her pants.
She matched the eyeshadow she had chosen to the color of both, but I couldn’t help but notice how pale her skin was. I wished at her age she wouldn’t wear makeup of any kind. A girl of nine was far too young to be painting her eyes to that degree, in my opinion, but her mother allowed it. And considering our situation, I wanted to let her do what made her happy.
Though, I refused to have a bleak outlook.
I remembered arguing with Maisie more than once that she was too young for such things, and I didn’t want to rush it. When she was older, I didn’t care how much of that she wore; when she was a teenager, there was no doubt in my mind we would argue about what she was wearing and how much she put on her face, but Maisie argued our daughter might not ever make it to that age.
The thought, while I refused to believe it was true, also terrified me. I didn’t want to think about what it would be like to say goodbye, and I refused to allow myself to face the guilt I’d feel if I didn’t let her have her makeup now.
“Kellie! What are you doing here? I didn’t know you were coming today, or I would have been waiting!” I said as I hugged her. She pulled back and looked over her shoulder at Stella.
“I told her that I had come to see you, but she didn’t let me in. She said that I was going to have to call you because you were working, and she didn’t know if I could go in there! She didn’t believe me!” She wrinkled her nose in disgust, and I laughed as I rose to my feet.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know if you allowed her to just come in there when you were working. No one else was here to ask, so I told her we’d wait out here,” Stella explained. I could see by the look on her face she was worried I was going to be upset about the situation, but I brushed it off. I appreciated that she cared enough about my schedule she wasn’t going to let just anyone in, even if they were family.
“It’s alright. My daughter’s strong-willed ways are a shock to most of the people she meets. Kellie is allowed to come in whenever she wants; that’s just fine. It’s her mother who needs to have an appointment,” I informed Stella. I never said anything bad about Maisie in front of our daughter. I didn’t think it was fair to her to have to hear such things coming from a parent, and there was little doubt in my mind she got enough of that from the woman.
“Noted,” Stella said with a smile. “It’s nice to meet you officially, Kellie.”
“Nice to meet you, too,” Kellie replied. She certainly wasn’t shy. I could see in her face she almost liked Stella. No doubt it had something to do with the suit she was wearing or the short way she styled her hair.
“Where’s your mom?” I asked, turning back to my daughter.
“She went back downstairs. She said that I was big enough to come find you myself now, and I think she’s right. I want to go get ice cream!” Kellie said with a cheerful shake of her wig. I grimaced. I had been considering leaving work anyway, but at the back of my mind, I knew there were some things I still had to do before I called it a day.
No doubt she would be willing to wait for me, but I didn’t know how long it would be before Maisie would come back to get her. It was always difficult to guess whether I was going to keep my daughter for the night or if she was going to be with me for the afternoon. Her mother needed to communicate far better than she did, but that likely would never happen.
“I would love to go get ice cream with you, baby, but I’ve got so much work to do. Did your mother tell you when she was going to be back?” I didn’t know how long my work was going to take, so I decided to stay on the side of caution with it. She shook her head.
“She said she was going out with some friends, and I was going to be spending some time with you. She promised you’d take me out for ice cream!” She stomped her feet, and I gave a tired smile. I wanted to take her out, but if I were to ignore the email about the meeting, things could get worse for me. I felt the stress building in my chest.
It was this kind of situation I hated. I didn’t know how to explain it to my daughter, and I was pissed that I didn’t have the ability to just drop everything and give her what she wanted.
“You know what? I’m at a stopping point in my day, and I could take you down to go get some ice cream,” Stella said suddenly, interrupting the conversation. Kellie turned back to her with wide eyes, then she looked back at me. For the first time I could remember, she didn’t seem to know what to say.
“What do you think of that, Kellie? Do you want to go with Stella to get some ice cream?” I asked. I figured the best thing to do would be to make it sound like the most fun option, and she shrugged.
“Okay, Daddy. I’ll go with your friend, and you can go back to work. I’ll see you when I get ba
ck!” She gave me one final hug and walked over to Stella. She put her hands on her hips and looked up into her face with a smile.
“Do you want to be my friend?” she asked. Stella smiled as she dropped down, bending her knees and taking Kellie’s hands in her own.
“I would love to be your friend. I’m going to go get my purse, and we can get going!” She rose and hurried back to her desk, and I noticed Kellie looked happier than usual. I always did what I could to make her happy, but I knew I often fell short as a parent. But if she could go out with Stella, perhaps that would satisfy her need for her ice cream and make her afternoon a little brighter.
“Are you ready?” Stella asked when she returned, her purse over her shoulder.
“I’m ready!” Kellie replied happily. “Bye, Daddy! I hope you have a happy day working!”
“Thanks,” I said to Stella as she told me they wouldn’t be gone more than an hour. “It really means a lot to her — and I appreciate you taking the time to make her happy.”
“I just hope it makes you happy,” she replied with a smile.
I grunted and nodded, heading back into my office. The truth was, it didn’t make me happy. Few things in life did. But, if it made my little girl happy, then I was satisfied.
Chapter 6
“Do you like to go out for ice cream?” Kellie asked as she and I walked along. I was surprised she put her hand into mine, but I enjoyed it. I liked kids, and there was something about this one that was charming in her own way. It was evident from everything about her she didn’t mind doing her own thing, and I admired that about her.
“I love going out for ice cream, especially on a Friday,” I replied. She sighed.
“I wish it wasn’t Friday. If it wasn’t, then I wouldn’t have to worry about school again on Monday.” She was looking straight ahead as she talked, and I wondered if she had to do school differently with her schedule. It didn’t seem appropriate to ask, so I merely agreed.
“I have to come back to work again on Monday, if that makes you feel any better,” I replied. She looked up at me and smiled. I was struck by her beauty.
We arrived at the ice cream parlor, and she walked in before me, moving with a confidence I had never seen in such a young child before. She walked right up to the counter and put her hands in front of her.
“What can I get for you?” the kid behind the counter asked.
“Bubblegum. Two scoops, in a cone.” Kellie smiled, and I laughed.
“I’ll have the same,” I said. The kid went to work, and Kellie put her money on the counter.
“Oh, honey, let me get it,” I offered as I grabbed my wallet, but Kellie put her hand up.
“No! I am the one who asked you out; I should pay,” she insisted. I didn’t feel right about it, but it seemed worse to argue with her. We took our cones and walked over to the table, sitting down and licking them at the same time.
“You know, I can’t remember the last time I got an ice cream cone,” I said, trying to make some sort of conversation with her. There were so many things I wanted to know about her, but I didn’t feel comfortable asking. I didn’t want to pry into her private life. I felt in a way, doing so would be to pry into Anthony’s life.
The last thing I wanted was for her to tell him that I had asked so many questions about her. I wasn’t being nosy; I really wasn’t, I really just wanted to know. If there was any way I could help this man and his daughter, I would do it. I liked them both and hated to see how stressed he was.
“I like your suit. It’s colorful,” she said in reply. I looked down. Today, I had chosen a green ensemble. It wasn’t my favorite, but it certainly was colorful, and it did bring out the green in my eyes.
“Thank you. I like your outfit, too. You look like a mermaid,” I said. She looked down at her clothes and nodded.
“I like mermaids. They're pretty,” she said.
“I think you’re pretty. I always liked unicorns when I was your age,” I said, trying to find some way to bond with her. She nodded.
“I like unicorns, too. Did you know that they are sometimes friends with the mermaids? Sometimes when they go to get a drink of water, then the mermaids come, and they are friends.” She licked her cone as she spoke, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“I thought mermaids just lived in the ocean,” I said, and she shook her head once more. I could see by the expression in her eyes she was very serious about this topic.
“Mermaids can go anywhere. They are in lakes and ponds and sometimes in rivers.”
“They just have to stay in the water, right?” I teased. She nodded.
“I like you. You would be a good mom,” she said suddenly. My heart skipped a beat. I didn’t know where this had come from, and I didn’t know how to respond. I felt terribly sorry for the girl and knew she must be very unhappy if she were to say such a thing to a woman who was practically a stranger.
“I like you, too. I think you are wonderful,” I said with a smile.
“Daddy says he wants you to come to dinner on Sunday,” she continued. I looked at her in surprise. This was all very new to me, and I wasn’t sure what to say.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
She was swinging her legs on the bench as she spoke. “He told me that he had a new lady working for him and he thought she was pretty, and he was thinking about asking if you wanted to come to dinner. But he gets shy, so I thought I would ask you, instead.” She smiled as she spoke, and I cleared my throat.
I still didn’t know what to say, and I felt it must be obvious by the look on my face. After a moment, I smiled. “You know what? I’ll ask your dad about it, and maybe we can figure something out.”
“No! I’ll tell him that you’re coming. I don’t want you to ruin it,” she replied with a sigh. She shook her head and looked across the parlor. “Grown ups ruin everything.”
She was about to continue when suddenly the door flew open, and a woman came rushing in. Almost immediately, I could see a change in Kellie. It was almost as though she sank into a level of depression she’d learned how to hide, but I could see it in her eyes.
I thought it must be her mother, and I braced myself. I didn’t want to have a confrontation, but I couldn’t imagine how well this was going to go down.
“There you are! Kellie! How dare you sneak out like that!” The woman huffed over, and once again, I braced myself.
“Mrs. Miller,” I began, but she shot me a look. I saw her run her eyes from head to toe; then she turned back to the girl.
“Mrs. Miller is the girl’s mother. I’m her nanny. You can call me Miss Johnson,” she replied tartly. I wanted to laugh. I didn’t know what kind of nanny went by her last name with other adults, but I wasn’t going to argue about it with her. Clearly, she wasn’t the best nanny if she hadn’t known where Kellie was. It also raised more questions in my mind — but again, I didn’t want to get into a fight with her, not right there in the middle of the parlor.
“Is this your nanny?” I asked, turning to Kellie. I did worry that this was someone she shouldn’t be leaving with, but Kellie nodded with the most annoyed look on her face.
“Of course, I’m her nanny! Do you think I’d lie about that?” the woman shot at me. I gave her a look in return, but I merely shrugged. Again, I wanted to tell her that she was a terrible nanny, but I could see it would be far better just to move on with the situation.
“You can never be too careful these days. You never know what’s going to happen when you have your back turned,” I said with a dry smile. I could see in her face she caught what I meant, but she merely turned her attention back to Kellie.
“You know better than to wander off! You could have gotten lost or been kidnapped! What would you do if you were taken by someone?” she scolded.
“I’ve walked down to Daddy’s work a lot. I wasn’t going to get kidnapped. I wanted to go get ice cream,” she replied with a shake of her head. “Besides, if you weren’t taking a nap, then you could h
ave brought me yourself and I wouldn’t have had to come find it on my own.”
Kellie gave the woman a challenging look, and I admired her spunk. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like trying to get her to do something she didn’t want to do. The nanny looked at a loss for words. She was clearly angry with the girl, but she wasn’t going to say so. At least, not here. I wasn’t worried; however, I could see this girl could hold her own against anyone, and she wasn’t going to take any kind of scolding from this woman.
“Well, you’ve got your ice cream; now, we are going to be heading back home,” she replied.
“I want to go to Daddy’s!” Kellie cried out.
“No, we’re going back to your mom’s,” the nanny replied. She took Kellie’s hand, and Kellie gave me a look.
“Thank you for being my friend,” she said loud enough for most of the parlor to hear.
“Thank you for going out to ice cream with me,” I said. I didn’t care what other people thought. I liked this girl, and I felt even more sorry for her knowing the situation she was dealing with. Not only did she have cancer, but she was dealing with an adult situation in her home. She had been robbed of her childhood, but was handling it like a princess.
I threw the rest of my ice cream in the garbage on my way out the door. There was something about the interaction that had robbed me of my appetite. I walked back up to the publishing house, wondering if I should get Anthony involved when I got back. I didn’t want to cause any drama with him and his ex, but then, I did think it rather strange that a nanny would fall asleep when she was supposed to be watching the child.
She did have a point. If Kellie wandered around on the streets of New York City, something could happen to her. There were people out there she didn’t want to get mixed up with; even walking just to her dad’s office could be an issue if she ran into the wrong person.
Especially knowing who she was and who her father was.
It wasn’t right, and it didn’t make any sense to me. If I was able, I would be happy to be that girl’s nanny. But, that was a silly notion. This was my dream job, and this was what I was going to do. It wasn’t my job to save the world, no matter how badly I wanted to.
