by Lexi Wilson
My stomach rumbled, and I pulled into a fast food restaurant to get something to eat. I sat in the parking lot to eat, knowing my eyes and my face were probably a puffy mess given how much crying I had done in the last thirty minutes. As I finished eating, I glanced at the clock and seeing the time, decided to drive over to the church where choir practice would soon be starting.
I wasn’t sure if it was a need to see my daughter or an overwhelming desire to see Brett that possessed the idea to even form in the first place but as I made the drive towards the church, I decided that it was time to be upfront with Brett about the baby. He wasn’t leaving again like all the times before, and it was time for me to be honest with him about our last night together.
I pulled into a parking space at the church and went inside to where children’s choir practice was being held. I nodded in polite greeting to a few people I passed before entering the room and slipping into the back. I scanned the room for Brett, and when my eye finally fell on him, I felt a wave of butterflies unleash in my stomach. I started forward and then stilled when the person next to him slid closer to him and leaned into him. A wave of nausea rolled through me when she turned her head, and I could see who it was.
Monica.
Anger built inside my chest when he whispered back to her, and I stepped back against the wall, glued to my spot, watching them. I hated my life at that moment. I hated Monica with a burning passion, and I didn’t have much nice to say about Brett either. So, I did the only thing that seemed rational to me.
I decided not to tell Brett anything. Let him keep thinking I was having Matthew’s baby. I didn’t care what he thought or believed. He wasn’t my husband, and I could lead whatever life I wanted to. I was going to raise this baby on my own. I didn’t need him.
At least that’s what I told myself.
Chapter 21
Brett
After picking Hannah up from school, we headed home to start on her homework ahead of her choir practice that night. I knew that Hannah liked to sing, but I didn’t know just how much she wanted to be in the children’s choir until after she finished her homework. Asking one question opened Pandora’s box, and she told me everything I didn’t know I needed to know about children’s choir at church. I could tell she was very excited about being able to take part this year and her excitement got me excited too.
When we arrived at the church, Hannah dragged me along with her to where the choir would practice, and I found a seat to watch from. I had only been sitting for a couple of minutes Monica took the seat beside me.
“Well hey there, stranger,” she said as she squeezed my upper arm. “I didn’t know Hannah was in the choir too.”
I nodded politely. “She’s really excited about being a part of it this year.”
“Will you be bringing Hannah to practice?”
“Yep. Wednesday is our night together.”
“We should get together for dinner one night before practice then.”
“That’s nice of you to offer, but since my time is so limited with Hannah, I want to get in as much time with her as I can, just the two of us.”
“Of course, I completely understand,” she simpered. “But if you ever change your mind.”
“Thanks,” I said, looking straight ahead.
Monica fell quiet as practice started but she stayed seated beside me, and I felt her leg brush against mine several times. I shifted in my seat, but she shifted along with me, so our shoulders stayed touching.
“How long are you home for this time?” she asked me as practice neared its end. “I noticed that you’ve been back longer than before.”
“I’m not going back out on assignments anymore; I’ve decided to retire from my photojournalism career, so I can focus on my home life,” I replied.
“Oh, how sweet!” she cooed. “I’m sure Hannah just loves having her daddy home.”
“Yep.”
“What about you?”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you love being home?”
“Oh, yeah, of course.”
“It must be weird though, right?”
“Excuse me?”
“Well, you know, because of Evie’s...situation.”
I tensed. I didn’t particularly want to be speaking to Monica as it were, and I definitely did not want to talk about Evie with her. “Evie and I manage just fine. We’re getting the hang of this co-parenting together.”
As if my speaking her name conjured her, Evie appeared in front of us. Her features were pinched, and I could tell that she was angry by the way her nostrils flared.
“If you’re just going to flirt with the other mothers rather than pay attention to our daughter, then I would be happy to bring Hannah to practice for you, so she doesn’t have to see this kind of behavior,” she hissed at me.
“What I do, or who I flirt with, is not of your concern anymore, Evie,” I told her evenly. Monica’s smile brightened beside me. “It’s my night, and I will bring Hannah to practice. And for the record, I was not flirting with anyone. I have been sitting here trying to watch our daughter practice.”
Monica’s smile turned to a frown, and she stood abruptly and huffed off. I stood as well and faced Evie. “If you have a problem with my speaking to other people, and in particular other women, then maybe you should have thought longer and harder about divorcing me. I mean, seriously, Evie. You divorced me. You’re the one who is pregnant. Where do you get off getting in my face about flirting with someone?” I shook my head. “I'm getting Hannah and leaving before this gets out of hand. If you calm down later and want to talk about this civilly, you know how to reach me.”
With that said, I stepped away and approached Hannah, who was with a group of her friends. I called out to her, and she waved goodbye to them before we get into my car and head home.
We had something to eat once we get home and then Hannah had a bath, and we read stories until she fell asleep. I was reading my email when I heard my phone chime. Reaching for it, I was surprised to see Evie’s name displayed.
I am sorry for earlier. That was uncalled for, and I shouldn’t have said anything.
Thank you.
You’re welcome.
But just so you know, I don’t have any interest in anybody else, and even if I did, it wouldn’t be Monica. There’s only one person for me so you don’t have to get worked up over her. Although it was pretty cute seeing you that way.
I was not worked up.
You were jealous, Evie. Just admit it.
I am not jealous of Monica.
I’m jealous of Matthew. I’m jealous that he gets your time and affection and smiles. I’m jealous about that baby you’re carrying, wondering if it will be a boy or a girl, wishing it were mine, thinking about what our life would be like with two kids.
You shouldn't say things like that.
I shouldn’t say my truth? Why not?
You just shouldn't.
Let me take you out, just the two of us.
That’s not a good idea.
Because of Matthew.
It just isn’t, Brett. We’re divorced. It’s time to let go and move on.
Okay, you go first then.
I already am.
The next morning when I woke up, I was burdened with Evie’s words from the night before. I tried to push them aside, but I kept coming back to them. While I made breakfast, they swam around in my head. While Hannah got ready for school, I re-read them on my phone. While I drove her to school and waited in the car rider line to drop her off, they haunted me.
After Hannah was dropped off at school, I made my way back home to the pool house. To try and put Evie’s words out of my head once and for all, I changed into swim trunks and swam laps in the pool for forty-five minutes. After a quick shower, I dressed and sat on the couch, my phone on the coffee table in front of me, waiting for it to ring. I was expecting a call that might change my future.
I knew that there was no way I would be happy
not working, but I didn’t want to go back to the life I led before my capture. I wanted to find something that I would be as passionate about without sacrificing Hannah and Evie again. Finding the happy middle ground was where I wanted to be, and I didn’t want to get my hopes up just yet, but I was excited nevertheless.
When my phone finally rang, I grabbed it and punched at the screen to answer it.
“Hello, this is Brett Capal,” I answered.
“Brett, it’s great to speak to you. This is Thomas York. Are you ready?”
“I’m really looking forward to this, Thomas. Thank you for the consideration.”
“With your credentials, we’d be crazy not to speak to you. I need to get the others on the line still, but this is pretty straightforward. We’ll ask you some questions, discuss the job and the expectations we have, and if you have questions for us, of course, feel free to ask. After we’ve talked to all the candidates, we’ll be in contact, and if you move on, we’ll have you come here for a more formal, in-person interview. Sound good?”
“Sounds great.”
“Great! Let me just get George and Melissa on the call, and we’ll begin.”
As Thomas got the others added to the conference call, I wiped my sweaty palms on my legs and then said a quick prayer.
Here goes nothing, I thought to myself.
Chapter 22
Evie
After I left the church, I went home and tried to get my mind off Brett, but the house was still full of so many reminders of our life together. I made myself something to eat and then headed to bed where I curled up with one of our old photo albums.
I flipped through page after page of pictures of Brett and I. Us in college, our wedding, while I was pregnant with Hannah. And then towards the end, some of the first photos we took as a family of three. Seeing our happy smiles made a feeling of longing take up residence in my chest, and I set the photo album aside and picked up my phone to text Brett an apology for my behavior earlier in the evening.
I re-read the messages we exchanged after until I fell asleep, clutching my phone. It was still there in the morning when it startled me awake when the alarm went off. I stumbled out of bed and into the shower, dressing quickly and grabbing a quick breakfast before I needed to be at school. I was still trying to get ahold of my emotions on the drive, which despite my best efforts remained all over the place when it came to Brett. I knew I had no right to be jealous of him speaking to another woman, but it still made me irrationally angry. I didn’t have any claim to him, and I had to keep reminding myself that this was what I wanted.
About midway through the morning, I finally started to feel like myself as I got into the flow of the school day. I just wanted the wall around my heart to harden again, and I forced myself to focus on my students and push all thoughts otherwise aside. As I led my class to the cafeteria, I noticed a group of teachers whispering with one another, looking pointedly in my direction. When they saw me looking their way, they closed ranks and began to whisper more furiously with one another.
I left my class with an assistant and made my way through the line to get a drink for myself. As I did, I heard snippets of conversation.
“I heard she shoved her because she was talking to her ex.”
“I heard she slapped her.”
“Why does she even care anyway? She divorced him.”
“And now she’s pregnant. Can you even imagine?”
I felt my cheeks heat up and my face burned as I ducked my head to avoid making eye contact with anyone. I hurried across the cafeteria to a table where Matthew waited.
“Are you okay?” he asked with concern. “You look like you’re going to be sick.”
“I’m fine,” I lied to him. “I just really messed up last night.”
He studied me a moment. “Is this about Monica? I heard you got into it with her at choir practice last night.”
I sighed. “It's not even a school function, and yet everyone here knows all about it.”
“What happened? I don’t believe the story that you got into a shoving match with her.”
“I didn't even speak to her. I told Brett that if he was going to go to choir practice to flirt with the other moms, then he could stay home, and I’d take Hannah to practice.”
“Oh, Evie,” he said sadly, shaking his head.
“Well he didn't have to sit there flirting with her,” I tried to defend myself.
“Was he flirting with her or did you just see what you wanted to see?”
“I know what I saw,” I replied sharply. “And why are you on his side anyway? I thought you were my friend.”
“I am your friend, and I’m not on anyone’s side. I want the best for you, Evie. I happen to think that that means Brett.”
“I don’t need a lecture, Matt. I need a friend.”
“Sometimes being a friend means giving it to you straight, tough love style. And I know you don't want to hear it, but you’re continuing to make a huge mistake when it comes to Brett. You need to tell him the truth.”
I didn't tell him that I thought about doing just that the day before. Until I saw Monica pressed up against his side at choir practice and my first thought was whether I could plead temporary insanity if I choked her to death. I glanced around the lunch room and noticed a group of teachers sitting a few tables away look away quickly from us and lean in to whisper to each other.
“We’re outcasts,” I observed.
“To be honest, Evie, you haven’t been the most social person since you made your divorce official and found out Brett had been taken hostage. You became even more withdrawn after you found out about the pregnancy. You can’t really blame anyone for gossiping. You’ve given them so much by doing so little. And now that Brett is back and you two aren’t getting back together, they’re letting their imaginations run wild with scenarios about whose baby that is.”
“It’s none of their business,” I told him hotly.
“Yeah, well, it is Brett’s business so woman up and tell him. He has been home for weeks now, and he has made absolutely zero indication that he plans to leave. He has been there for Hannah and then some. It’s painfully obvious that he is trying to make up for lost time and fix the trail of wrongs he left behind. Give the man some credit, yeah?”
“I appreciate what you’re trying to do here, but this isn’t what I needed. I needed some kind words and comfort, not this.”
“Well, this is what you’re getting. It’s time to stop living in denial and see the light, girlfriend.”
I grumbled under my breath. I wanted to be angry with Matthew because he was not on my side, but he was right. I knew he was right, but I didn’t want to admit it out loud, and that just pissed me off more. I was irritated with Brett, with Matthew, and most of all myself. Matthew sensed that because he reached out and squeezed my hand in his.
“Just talk to Brett, Evie. It won’t be as bad as whatever you’re thinking,” he said softly.
“I’ll tell him when I’m ready.”
He shook his head and withdrew his hand from mine. “That isn’t good enough anymore, Evie. You're making the wrong decision by not telling Brett and continuing to put it off. And I can’t be a part of your deceit anymore, I'm sorry.” He stood and grabbed his things, leaving me alone at the table with tears pricking my eyes.
I barely made it out of the cafeteria and back to my classroom before I burst into tears. I called down to the office and begged off for the rest of the afternoon by claiming I felt under the weather. They let me go home early without a second thought given my pregnancy. I gathered my things and got out of the school as quickly as I could and went home. Once I was there, I got into comfortable clothes and curled up in bed and just cried. Somehow, I managed to text my mom and asked her to pick Hannah up from school, and she offered to keep her for a couple hours after school after I told her that I wasn't feeling well.
When my mom brought Hannah home later that evening, she had already finished her homework w
ith her, and she had fed her dinner and brought me leftovers. I thanked her over and over and she offered to stay and help put Hannah to bed, but I told her that I was feeling a lot better and could handle it.
Once she left, I got Hannah upstairs and into the bath. She told me all about her day at school, and I listened to every word. After she was dried off and in pajamas, we both got into her little bed, and Hannah read to me first before I read to her until she fell asleep. I held her and kissed the top of her head for several minutes after until I finally slid out from around her. I tucked her in under the covers and tiptoed across the room. I watched her for several moments from the doorway before pulling the door closed behind me.
Matthew was right. I had to tell Brett the truth. Not for either of us, but for the little girl stuck in between us.
Chapter 23
Brett
It had been a few days since my conference call, and I hadn’t heard anything further, so I was sitting on my couch Friday night, updating and polishing my resume when there was a knock at the door. It was not my weekend with Hannah, so I had nothing but time on my hands. I wasn’t expecting anyone, and I hadn’t ordered takeout, so I had no idea who might be at my door. I set my laptop aside and stood, crossing the room to open the door.
