A Time to Build (Love's Time Book 2)

by Dora Hiers

  His fingers threaded through her hair, his moan sounding as if it came from some faraway place. She was lost in the moment, the feeling of his fingers blazing a trail through her hair, a sweet sensation starting in her toes and working its way up.

  His fingers stilled their wandering and he pulled back, disconnecting that frail link that united their spirits, their hearts. He pressed his forehead to hers.

  She licked her lips, the parched, thirsty ache of the last few years just now catching up with her. Her chest heaved with the effort to breathe.

  “It’s late.” He ran a thumb across her lips, and it was all she could do to keep from throwing her arms around his neck and stealing another kiss.

  “Yeah.” She didn’t know what time it was, but she didn’t care, either.

  “You’re making this tough.”

  “Making what tough?” She peered up at him, the moon casting a pearl-like glow from the truck.

  “Leaving.”

  The pressure in her chest squeezed air from her lungs. Leaving? Like as in for his brother’s? Or leaving Harrison?

  “My brother’s expecting me. I don’t want to show up too late, and if I don’t leave now, I—” His gaze didn’t budge from her lips as desire darkened his irises. His palm cupped her cheek. “I’m not a saint, Jillian.”

  Her lips rounded to form a silent “oh” as she took in his meaning. He wanted her. Not like in the past, when his teen hormones took control. But rather, as an adult man desired a beautiful woman.

  Did he really think she was beautiful?

  She gulped down the delicate bud of satisfaction that blossomed in her belly. Even if she didn’t have scars to hide, she wasn’t going down that road. Her faith was too precious.

  “And I want to do this right.” He gave her a sweet peck on the forehead then nudged her aside to open the truck door for her.

  She’d forgotten where they were.

  He waited while she slid into the seat and then closed the door with a quiet click. Leaning in through the open window, his thumb burned a hot trail along her cheek.

  “I may not be next door, but I’ll see you soon. Count on it.” His voice came out husky. He scooped up his bag and disappeared into the darkness, his long strides taking him quickly to where his car was parked on the other side of the barn.

  Jillian squeezed the air she’d been holding out of her lungs. The engine’s crank didn’t come close to drowning out the pulse whooshing in her ears.

  No. Carson wasn’t anything like his father. Nor was he the same person who’d broken her heart on graduation day.

  No. He’d left, broken and angry with the world. He’d come back, not completely at peace with his father’s death, but he was working his way in that direction.

  And he was definitely more dangerous to her heart. What was she supposed to do with this new and improved version? How was she supposed to respond to that toe-tingling kiss? To his words right before his lips claimed hers…

  If I could commit to one person, it would be with you.

  What did that mean?

  That he couldn’t? That he’d never be able to settle down with her? Or in one place?

  If that was the case, what did that kiss mean? Where had he just taken their relationship? From friends to…what?

  ****

  Not quite what he expected from his twin, but hey, the guy logged in a ton of hours at work. He didn’t have time to take care of a yard. A condo suited his lifestyle.

  Carson confirmed the number on the front of the door, blaring with shiny red paint, and inserted the key into the lock. He pushed it open, giving his head a little shake as he glanced over a shoulder at the tiny patch of grass that made up the yard.

  “You made it.” Camdon’s voice, so like his own, broke the stillness of the cozy condo.

  The only light in the place came from the soft glow of the lamp next to Camdon’s chair. His brother closed the book he’d been reading and set it on the side table along with his reading glasses. “I wasn’t sure if you’d decided to camp out at Remi’s for another night.”

  Carson closed the front door and leaned back against it, loosening his grip on the bag. It dropped to the wood floor with a clunk. He shook his head. “Nah. If you’d seen their faces, you would know what a bad idea that would be.”

  Camdon laughed. “Still on their honeymoon, eh?”

  For answer, Carson rolled his eyes, but deep down, he envied his sister for being able to move on with her life and for finding that happily-ever-after with her soul mate. Would he ever be so blessed?

  He raked a palm across his jaw, the whiskers making a scratchy sound in the quiet house.

  “Want some coffee?” Camdon hoisted himself from the soft-looking cushion. “I was just thinking about throwing a pot of decaf on.”

  “Sure. That sounds good.” He was too keyed up, suspected sleep would be a long time coming tonight.

  He followed his brother’s sock-covered feet into the kitchen, his boots clomping the hardwood with a noisy clang.

  Cam scooped some dark grounds into a filter, and then filled the decanter with water. He set it back in place and flicked the switch. The rich, deep flavor of expensive coffee filled the kitchen.

  Carson closed his eyes, inhaled. Coffee had been a luxury for him, one he couldn’t always afford. He’d grown to appreciate a cup of java, any time of day.

  Camdon pulled down some mugs, flashing a concerned glance over a shoulder. “How’s the job hunt going?”

  “You mean how’s the job hunt not going?” He parked a hip against the countertop and folded arms over his chest.

  “That bad?” Compassion glowed from his twin’s eyes, an exact match to his own, but Cam’s always seemed wiser somehow.

  “I have never had this much trouble finding a job.” He sighed, tamping down the panic that threatened to take over if he allowed it. He’d never stuck around in one place for this long with no bites. God, You’ve got my back, right? All in Your time?

  Camdon poured the dark brew into the cups and handed him one. He flicked his head, gesturing toward the family room.

  Carson waited for his brother to sit then sank into an oversized recliner, the soft fabric swallowing his form. If Cam didn’t have an extra bed, this would work fine. He took a sip, relishing the hot liquid as it slid down his throat.

  The job situation looked pretty dismal. If he didn’t get a nibble on the applications he’d put out, he’d have to leave, move to a spot that was hiring. What would that do to his hopes of repairing his relationship with Jillian?

  “Job hunting around here will take some time, Carson. The market’s still recovering. Companies are just now starting to take a chance on hiring again.” Cam must have read his dark thoughts. Not unusual for them to do as kids, but now? Considering they’d been separated for so long.

  “I don’t have much time. I can’t stick around forever if there aren’t any jobs.”

  “Sure you can. You can stay with me, rent-free. That’s a better option than you’ll get anywhere else.” His brother’s dark eyebrows furrowed together over the rim of the mug.

  “Maybe. But I can’t live like that.” Wouldn’t. What kind of man mooched off his family? Not him. He swiped a hand across his face. “You were always the one Remi and I looked to for help, to be the man of the family after dad died. But, I’m not that kid anymore. How could I ever hope to support a family, if I can’t stand on my own?”

  “Does this have something to do with Jillian?”

  They might have been apart for a long time, but as twins, they’d never lost that psychological connection. No sense denying it. “I want to fix what I broke by leaving, see if we can rebuild it into something more powerful, something with more substance. But, it’s more than that.”

  He glanced over at his brother. Cam waited him out, his dark eyes knowing.

  He sighed. “Cam, what if I’m just like dad? Incapable of holding on to something lasting? Something permanent? I really need to fi
nd the answer to that question first.”

  A mixture of respect and hope gleamed from his brother’s eyes. “You’ll figure it out. In the meantime, I’ll keep my eyes and ears open for companies that are hiring in and around Harrison.”

  “Thanks.” He toyed around with an idea taking shape in his brain. Something Jillian had given voice to earlier. “I’ve worked a variety of jobs over the years, but what I really enjoy most is breathing new life to things others have given up on.”

  Camdon’s eyebrows hiked. “Really? Like Remi’s kitchen remodel?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Hmm…interesting.”

  “How’s that?”

  “I think you just answered your own questions.” Cam’s lips twitched at the corners and creases fanned out from his eyes.

  He’d just answered his own questions? What gave Cam that idea?

  He was too exhausted to keep up with his brother’s reasoning, and the comfortable recliner was making his limbs soft and his eyelids heavy.

  The answers would have to wait for tomorrow.

  13

  “Can you wait for me? I’m heading out the door now.” Carson’s voice pleaded from the other end of the phone lodged between shoulder and ear while she finished stuffing her personal items into her duty bag. The firefighter on the next shift always arrived early, and even though there was a lock on the private personal space, she didn’t want to infringe on his time.

  She didn’t remind Carson that she’d already waited a lifetime for him. “Sure. I’ll stick around.”

  “Thanks. Give me ten minutes, and I’ll pick you up outside the fire station.”

  “You got it.” Where did he want to take her? She disconnected and slid the phone back in her pocket then stepped out of the cubicle into the narrow hall, narrowly avoiding a collision against Crenshaw’s chest. “Whoa! Sorry.”

  “Hey, you’re supposed to be heading in the other direction. You’re getting off duty, remember?” Crenshaw smirked.

  “Yeah. That’s what they tell me, but you know how it goes. You’re never off duty, right?” She teased and slid past him, ducking into the restroom nearest the exit, hoping the guys wouldn’t notice if she changed out of her uniform. The last thing she needed was for them to rib her about it in front of Carson. She quickly swapped the uniform for some jeans and a soft cotton shirt.

  She cracked the door open, and satisfied that nobody was lurking about, hurried out of the station.

  Carson was already outside, his hip resting against the passenger side of his car, arms folded.

  “Hey, beautiful.” He held the door open for her, his appreciative gaze sending chills to dance up and down her spine.

  “Hey, yourself.” She slid into the seat, glad that she’d taken the time to change out of her uniform. “Where are you whisking me off to?” She hadn’t been able to wheedle the information out of him on the phone. What made her think he’d give now?

  “You’ll see. All in good time.” He eased the car onto the busy road, furrows lining his forehead as he concentrated on the morning rush-hour traffic.

  Fifteen minutes later, he pulled into the parking lot in front of the burn clinic.

  Surprise took wings in her belly. Why had he brought her here? Did he want to visit Maria?

  He opened the door for her, linking his fingers through hers when she stepped out. “Come on. I have an idea I want to run by you.” He brushed a feather light kiss against her forehead.

  If he kept kissing her like that, she’d follow him anywhere.

  They took the elevator up to the fifth floor, and after a short journey down the tile hallway, he stopped outside a door and knocked.

  She peeked at the name written on the whiteboard. Amanda.

  “Come in.” A faint voice sounded from beyond the half-open door.

  “Who’s Amanda?” she croaked, shrinking back against the wall in the hallway, not sure this was a good idea. How could she witness the horror in Carson’s eyes at seeing Amanda’s scars when the same ugly marks covered thirty percent of her body, too. Granted, they were hidden mostly under her clothing, but they were still there. Something she saw every day. Unlike Carson.

  “Someone I want you to meet.” He gave her hand a gentle tug.

  She resisted.

  “What’s wrong?” With his head tilted, he studied her.

  She licked her lips, worked her throat, but nothing came out.

  “You visited Maria.”

  “Only…only because…” Because when she’d dragged the sixteen-year-old out of the fully involved house, with flames raging around them on three sides, she’d heard God’s gentle whisper in the fire. Jillian, my sweet daughter. You are precious and so very loved. Stop blaming yourself and start trusting Me.

  Jillian’s parents had never been able to look at her without grief dimming their eyes or doubt clouding their features, without quivering lips or shaking heads. Never voiced the words “I forgive you” before they died.

  But God…God had wrapped His loving arms around her and whispered the words she’d needed to hear for so long.

  She’d been able to save this Maria. She hadn’t been able to save the other Maria.

  Her sister.

  “Hey.” A thumb swiped at the moisture on her cheek. Carson peered at her, concern etching his forehead, his eyes warm and comforting. “It’ll be okay. I promise.”

  She hadn’t realized she was crying. Nodding, she took a deep breath, quickly palming her cheeks as she followed him into the room.

  “Hey, Amanda. I brought my friend Jillian today. The one I’ve been telling you about.”

  He’d been talking about her? She didn’t know what to think about that as she stepped beside him.

  Another teenager. Fourteen maybe? With puckered skin marring her face and crawling down her neck, her grafts weren’t too recent, but they weren’t ancient, either.

  “Hi, Amanda.” Jillian smiled a friendly greeting, studying Carson’s profile to gage his reaction.

  No shock or disgust. Only kindness showed in the soft curves of his face. He turned, caught her staring and winked.

  Her heart accelerated like a rocket. Jerking her gaze away from him, she grabbed the bed’s handrail and gripped it so tight that her fingernails dug into her palms.

  “Jillian is proof that you can live a full, abundant life after a burn injury. Isn’t that right?” He scooted a chair close for her and gestured for her to sit.

  She loosened her hold on the rail and sank into the chair. Tried to flex her stiff fingers without being obvious but stopped when he slid his chair so close that their arms touched.

  “Yes.” She drew out the one word, still unsure where he was going with this, and tucked her hands under her denim pant legs.

  Full and abundant? That might be stretching things a bit. Sure, she had a job she loved. But what about her hope for love? For marriage and family?

  “Amanda always pictured herself as a teacher, but she doesn’t think she’ll be able to get a job now.”

  Jillian cocked her head to study the teen. “Why not, Amanda?”

  “Take a good look at me. Who would want to hire me?”

  Jillian recoiled at the sarcasm, the derision, in the girl’s tone. Had she been like that at Amanda’s age? Wanting to lash out at the world because of her burn? Because she was constantly in so much pain or because she thought nobody could possibly love her anymore?

  Oh yeah. She’d been there.

  Jillian rose and stepped close to the bed. She reached out to cover the girl’s hand with her own, to shower some compassion on someone who’d need a ton of it to overcome the horrified looks, the ignorant comments that people would throw at her. “Amanda, I won’t lie to you and tell you that things will be easy. You probably already know that’s not true.”

  The girl snorted and rolled her eyes then turned to stare at the full plate on the tray table slung over the opposite side of the bed.

  “But, I can tell you that most peop
le, once they get to know the real you,” Jillian thumped her chest, “won’t even see your scars.”

  Most people.

  But, not Carson. He’d seen a sampling of her scars once. Right before he bolted from her life.

  And she hadn’t even shown him the most private area. Where the flames had devoured her breast.

  ****

  Carson pulled the door to Cassie’s room closed. Cupping Jillian’s elbow, he led her down the hall.

  A blend of sorrow and anger shadowed her face and firmed her jaw. Just the response he’d hoped for. Satisfaction gelled in his gut.

  Jillian’s low-heeled sandals clicked the tile as they passed the nurse’s station. He nodded at Martin, the nurse usually on duty when he visited in the mornings. They slipped into the elevator, and he respected Jillian’s need for silence.

  It wasn’t until the glass door whooshed open, and they stepped outside, when she lifted her face to the bright sunshine, that she finally breathed deep and relaxed the stiff set to her back and shoulders.

  “Want to grab some breakfast?” He opened the car door for her. He’d expected this reaction. Had suspected that meeting these three girls and confronting some of the same issues and emotions she’d dealt with decades ago would be tough on her.

  She dropped into the seat and regarded him, her turbulent hazel irises morphing into a calming brown hue. “If I do, will you share what’s on your mind?”

  Perceptive, wasn’t she? “Yeah, I will.”

  She nodded, and he slid behind the wheel. Five minutes later, he pulled into the parking lot of the small diner he’d found near the burn clinic. Good comfort food and cheap.

  The hostess seated them. While Jillian skimmed the menu, he watched her.

  Unlike Amanda’s and several other burn victims he’d encountered during his volunteer shifts at the hospital, Jillian’s face was scar-free. She usually buried her scars under long-sleeved shirts and pants. Not that she needed to cover them up, but she always had.

  Didn’t she see that she had so much to offer these girls?

  Encouragement, that the pain would eventually subside.

  Hope, that their life still held purpose, that they could still reach for their dreams, even attain them.