Maybe Later

by Claudia Burgoa

  What happened?

  I’ve missed you.

  Jackson

  * * *

  From: E. Lancaster

  To: J. Spearman

  Subject: What happened?

  Thursday, September 1st, 8:51 a.m.

  I decided to take time off from work and take my own advice and discover the world. I’ve been working non-stop for the past couple of years, and it seemed like it was time to concentrate on my journey. VAES is expanding and growing faster than I imagined. Getting away for some self-care seemed important before taking the next step.

  Apparently while I was away, you lost your mind. I have almost a hundred emails from you to read, they should last me well-into my next life. Alistair told me you were asking questions about me and Amy. As I explained before, I have my reasons for using an alias.

  What do you mean by you feel lost?

  Use google maps.

  If I don’t respond to your emails soon, know that I’m catching up with 3 months of correspondence and work (not including your emails, by the way).

  Enjoy your Monday,

  Emmeline

  P. S. To be successful, the first thing to do is fall in love with your work.

  * * *

  From J. Spearman

  To: E. Lancaster

  Subject: Love and other casualties

  Thursday, September 1st, 11:19 a.m.

  Hello, dear friend,

  I felt lost because you weren’t around. Is it wrong to say that you became my compass?

  No matter how bad my day went, you made things better. I could be upset, yelling at everyone, but once we chatted, my mood would change. You taught me to see my problems from a different perspective. I learned to fall in love with my work and what I do. I began to appreciate those who worked with me too.

  That doesn’t mean I’m perfect. Things improved, sure, but I’m still full of flaws.

  I also became a casualty of love.

  Remember the woman I was dating?

  She broke up with me. I think she was in love with another man. Or maybe she just wanted me to be something I wasn’t. It’s been months, and I can’t forget her.

  How do I move on?

  Do I want to move on?

  I’m happy for your company. Is it true that you serve more than fifty countries?

  What did you do during your free time?

  Your friend,

  Jackson

  P. S. Any playlists?

  * * *

  From: E. Lancaster

  To: J. Spearman

  Subject: Casualties of love

  Thursday, September 1st, 12:23 p.m.

  Jackson,

  Sometimes you can be your own casualty. I messed up a few months ago and hurt myself. Not sure if I hurt anyone else in the process. I believe we spoke about it briefly, didn’t we? It’s been so long I can’t recall what I told you.

  I tried to keep it professional, but we crossed too many boundaries. Since we’re no longer working together, I think it’s okay to talk about your ex-girlfriend and my failed relationship.

  Did you love this woman?

  A friend of mine always says that it’s okay to hold onto the grief until you become stronger. Just don’t stay there forever. Personally, I’ve been grieving for too long. I miss my sister, but I finally stopped blaming myself for her death. I mourn the relationship I always wanted with my parents. Finally, I’ve come to understand that I can’t change them, or my relationship with them. I can only change myself and be happy with my future.

  For the past few months, I traveled around, visited places I’ve wanted to go to and tried to close a few chapters of my life.

  After nine years, I convinced myself to visit my parents. Mom is 71, and Dad just turned 79. They retired a couple of years ago. I was hoping they would accept me. I’m the only person they have left. The first thing my mother did was look at my left hand and say, “You’re not married yet, Emmeline?”

  Owning one of the fastest growing companies in America didn’t interest them, since I’m not a lawyer with a bright future who can take over their firm. And you know what, I’m happy about who I became, what I do, and where I’m heading.

  Relationships are messy, complicated, and scary. They can be painful if you don’t know how to treat them. I’ve never been in one until last spring. My only regret is that I wasn’t ready when I met him. He was intense, somehow, he knew me. I couldn’t recognize how much that scared me. He saw past my flaws, and because I didn’t understand what was happening, I shut him down.

  Maybe it was about timing. Right place, wrong time. Things would be so different if we met today. Not that it matters, I bet he’s already dating someone more to his style.

  Sorry about your girlfriend. You sounded excited about her, and in love.

  Should you move on?

  If she left you, I’m sure she doesn’t deserve you. I hope you understand that nothing that happened was your fault. You might be hot-headed, impatient, and demanding, but I know there’s a lot of good in you. There’s also the possibility that the breakup wasn’t about you, but her.

  What if she wasn’t ready for you?

  When I broke up with Jack, that’s his name, I made him believe that there was something better, someone who would understand me more than him. I wanted to live a fantasy within reality. That messed me up a lot, thinking that I was falling in love with two people left me feeling as if my heart was splitting into two.

  Now, I’m letting some of the fantasy go and holding onto real things.

  I rambled a lot, and I’m not sure if I was any help. My advice is to move on, but don’t forget her. You should remember her fondly. She was the first woman who helped you open yourself to the possibility of love.

  I’ll send you some music for the Monday blues, via email. We can’t create an account for a chat, unless you convince Alistair.

  Happy Monday!

  Em

  * * *

  From J. Spearman

  To: E. Lancaster

  Subject: Tuesday Blues

  Tuesday, September 6th, 8:19 a.m.

  Dear Friend,

  Do you believe in perfect relationships? I don’t think they exist.

  I’m sorry about your sister and that your parents won’t change. I can’t imagine life without mine. We don’t see each other daily, but I visit them at least twice a month. Within the past few months, my relationship with my family has shifted. I talk to my sisters more often than my brothers. Alex is moving to town, and my other brother has been living here since May.

  Every relationship is complicated and you have to work for them—with your parents, your siblings, your friends, and even your partner. It’s all about work, honesty, and trust. Maybe that’s why my last relationship didn’t last. We had a good connection but lacked everything else.

  You cannot let the magic go. If you do, your entire essence will disappear. You’re a magical being, because without even seeing you, you brighten my day. You change people, you give them hope and make them believe in themselves that there’s something beyond what they currently have. We need more people like you, so don’t let the magic go.

  I think we should be friends.

  Jackson

  P. S. What are we doing for your birthday?

  * * *

  From: E. Lancaster

  To: J. Spearman

  Subject: Friends

  Tuesday, September 6th, 8:27 a.m.

  I would love that!

  E

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  From: E. Lancaster

  To: J. Spearman

  Subject: I think I saw him yesterday.

  Wednesday, September 7th, 11:06 a.m.

  Hello Friend,

  Jack, the guy I dated, was with a gorgeous woman. She was tall, with dark hair, and a perfect figure. He seemed very happy—and I hated how that made me feel jealous. I wanted to be her. It didn’t surprise me that he moved on, I just need to find a way of doing the same.
/>
  For a moment, I tried to convince myself that what I missed was just having a boyfriend. It was amazing to have someone who I could spend my weekends with. We went to concerts, spent nights together in bed talking about nothing but where we would travel. Ramen still misses him. Poor girl, she stays in a corner, curled on top of one of the shirts he left behind. I sleep in the other one.

  I’m proud of myself. For a second, I almost approached him to say, Hi, Jack, remember me? But he looked happy and I felt it was best to let things go. But, God, if I didn’t want to hug him. I hate missing people and being left behind. The break up was my fault, I know that, but it still doesn’t make the pain go away.

  It’s crazy, right? We want those who don’t want us, and not the other way around.

  Which reminds me, tomorrow I’m going out on a date that Alistair set up. Some guy from work who is “cool and smart.” Yes, those were his words.

  We’re looking for a location for our new offices. Laura is going to work full time for me. It pains me that I won’t be working from home anymore. Sushi and Ramen won’t be coming along. At least not for now. I’ll get my office cat-proofed.

  We’re also setting up a nursery for Simone. That baby is my best friend. She makes me want to have my own. Not that I would have one right now. Let’s see how things work with ‘the guy from the office.’

  I heard that you’re setting up an in-house childcare for your personnel. I’m so proud of you. Let me know if you need any help. I have contacts.

  Take care, friend,

  Emmeline

  P. S. I’m planning a trip to New York for my birthday. Do you want to come?

  * * *

  From: J. Spearman

  To: E. Lancaster

  Subject: Traveling plans and a new woman.

  Wednesday, September 7th, 11:30 a.m.

  Dear Friend,

  I understand how things look different from afar. You saw him with another woman, but she could’ve been his sister. Maybe next time you should greet him. Sounds like you didn’t get any closure. Did you guys end the relationship?

  Maybe you left things open and he wants to pick up where you left off?

  New York sounds like a plan, but I’m not sure if we’re ready to take a trip together. Ask me in a couple of weeks. Maybe we can revisit the tour you sent me back in April. We could add what I couldn’t visit since I only had a couple of days. I heard Central Park is nice during the fall. What do you think?

  Your friend,

  Jackson

  * * *

  Jack: I wanted to check on you since your birthday is almost here. I hope you are well. J.

  Chapter Forty

  Thursday, September 8th, 12:22 a.m.

  ELanc90: I thought you’d be awake.

  JSpear84: We’re about to launch a new software.

  ELanc90: I heard. It’s going to be amazing. I pre-ordered it for the company.

  JSpear84: Thank you, you should’ve told me, and I could’ve given it to you.

  ELanc90: In exchange for my soul?

  JSpear84: In exchange for a review and a recommendation to your clients.

  ELanc90: Free advertising? I can always send you our sponsorship list.

  JSpear84: You have sponsorships?

  ELanc90: No, but I can always create one just for you and charge you an arm and a leg.

  JSpear84: You want my soul?

  ELanc90: Is it worth it, Mr. Spearman? Isn’t your soul buried in your sex dungeon?

  JSpear84: You want to visit the dungeon, don’t you?

  ELanc90: Does it exist?

  JSpear84: No, but I’d build it for you if that’s what you’re into.

  ELanc90: I don’t even know what I’m into. It’s been that long since I’ve had sex and longer since I tried to experiment.

  JSpear84: We can take it slow.

  ELanc90: Are you flirting with me?

  JSpear84: Sweetheart, you started it. You can’t talk about sex and not expect me to follow your lead.

  ELanc90: He texted me.

  JSpear84: Way to change the conversation. We’re about to have cybersex, and suddenly you’re talking about your ex.

  JSpear84: What did he want?

  Elancast90: He remembered my birthday and wanted to check on me.

  JSpear84: Did you end things with him or left them in limbo?

  ELanc90: I told him I wasn’t ready, and he said he’d wait.

  JSpear84: He might be waiting for you.

  ELanc90: Would you wait for her?

  JSpear84: I’d wait for the woman who makes me smile with her presence and steals my breath every time I see her.

  ELanc90: Really?

  JSpear84: Yeah, but there’s a problem, I lied to her, and I’m not sure if she’d forgive me.

  ELanc90: You never mentioned you lied to her?

  JSpear84: Have you ever pretended to be someone else?

  ELanc90: You know the answer to that.

  JSpear84: I lied by omission, and I’m not sure how she’ll react when I tell her my name.

  ELanc90: Why did you lie?

  JSpear84: It wasn’t my intention. I just didn’t introduce myself correctly. She made me too nervous. I know I sound like a teenage boy meeting Kate Beckinsale.

  ELanc90: She’s that hot huh?

  JSpear84: Yes, she’s pretty. She doesn’t flaunt it, but you notice her right away.

  ELanc90: Does she know you’re rich and own one of the world’s biggest software companies?

  JSpear84: My company isn’t that big.

  ELanc90: Not yet, wait until this weekend. Plus, you’re one of the wealthiest guys under 35.

  JSpear84: Did you google me?

  ELanc90: I do not need google to learn about you, I just have to ask the right questions to the right people. You can’t sue me.

  JSpear84: I’d never sue you. Though, you’re a tricky, evil woman.

  ELanc90: And you wouldn’t have me any other way.

  JSpear84: You’re right. It’s such a shame that we don’t know each other.

  JSpear84: Sometimes I wonder what would’ve happened if we’d met under different circumstances.

  ELanc90: At the right time?

  JSpear84: Good night, Emmeline.

  ELanc90: Good night, Jackson.

  * * *

  Friday, September 9th, 10:51 a.m.

  Emmeline: Hi, I’m doing well. I was wondering if you’d like to have coffee?

  Jack: Today isn’t a good day. Can we meet tomorrow?

  Emmeline: That works.

  Jack: It’s not that I don’t want to see you. I am swamped with work. How is work for you?

  Emmeline: Different, I’ll explain later if we have time.

  Jack: Where do you want to meet?

  Emmeline: I was thinking maybe at the café where we had our first date. You know that French place that you like.

  Jack: How about 12:00? We can have lunch.

  Emmeline: Perfect, it gives me time to go to the Farmer’s Market and buy some flowers, get catnip for the kids, and maybe even go to the bookstore.

  Jack: You’re talking too much, are you flustered?

  Emmeline: Heavily.

  Jack: Don’t be, it’s just me, Jack.

  Emmeline: I feel like every time we meet, I make an ass of myself. Are you sure you want to meet?

  Jack: We’ll talk about it on Saturday. I’ll be waiting for you.

  Emmeline: Have you?

  Jack: See you tomorrow.

  * * *

  Friday, September 9th, 11:01 a.m.

  Elanc90: I know you’re busy, but I wanted to congratulate you and tell you that I’m seeing him tomorrow.

  * * *

  Friday, September 9th, 9:12 p.m.

  JSpear84: She wants to see me.

  * * *

  Friday, September 9th, 10:33 p.m.

  ELanc90: Who?

  JSpear84: What are you doing right now?

  ELanc90: Looking at my wardrobe, I don’t know what to we
ar tomorrow.

  JSpear84: Do you have a hot date?

  ELanc90: I told you I’m seeing him tomorrow. You haven’t told me who wants to see you. That’s the point of this conversation.

  JSpear84: It was just a question, is it a hot date? If so, wear a short skirt and stockings. Maybe a lace bodice underneath your blouse. Button down blouse.

  ELanc90: Focus Jackson.

  JSpear84: I can’t, that outfit is hot.

  ELanc90: Jackson, who wants to see you?

  JSpear84: My ex.

  ELanc90: Your ex-wife?

  JSpear84: No, the woman who broke my heart a few months back.

  ELanc90: Wow, I didn’t know she broke your heart. What a bitch. Do you want me to claw her eyes out?

  JSpear84: Aww, would you do that for me?

  ELanc90: Maybe.

  JSpear84: See you like me. So, should I say yes and if so, what should I wear?

  ELanc90: Wear clothes.

  JSpear84: Smartass. That’s not helpful.

  ELanc90: I feel like you’re mocking me.

  JSpear84: What if I wear one of my company’s shirt?

  ELanc90: Nope. It’d scream, look at me, I am Jackson Spearman, CEO, and owner of the world.

  ELanc90: Congratulations on the launch I saw it went beyond expectations. I can’t believe you used Alistair as your spokesperson. I’m not happy with you. When are you going to show your face?

  JSpear84: Were you watching the news just to see my face?

  ELanc90: You’re a nightmare, are you sure she wants to meet you again? Or is it just your imagination?

  JSpear84: You want me all to yourself, don’t you, Emmeline.

  ELanc90: You wish.

  JSpear84: Meet me tomorrow.

  ELanc90: What?

  JSpear84: Meet me tomorrow before you see him. I know we live in the same city.

  * * *

  Saturday, September 10th, 12:05 a.m.

  ELanc90: Okay, where do you want to meet?

  JSpear84: The bookstore on 3rd?

  ELanc90: At what time?

  JSpear84: When are you meeting him?

  ELanc90: 12:00

  JSpear84: Let’s meet there at 11:30