Nice Werewolves Don't Bite Vampires

by Molly Harper

  “Good point,” Nik noted, pausing the video on the wrist that was reaching toward the mailbox. A dark symbol seemed branded on his skin.

  “It’s a tattoo,” I said, squinting at the screen. “And not your typical misspelled Asian typography you see on today’s youths. It looks…what’s a fancy word for ‘old and scary?’”

  “It seems familiar,” Nik mused.

  Just then, Cal burst into the shop, followed by Iris and then Alex. Iris sniffled, throwing her arms around Gigi. Cal wrapped them both in his arms, creating a sort of triple hug.

  “Told you,” Gigi mouthed at me, just before Alex pulled me close.

  “I am not and was not in any danger,” I promised him. “But the hug is nice.”

  “Cal called me on his way over. I was sure you’d be here,” he said. “I just needed to see you.”

  “Jane. I am displeased,” Iris said, her voice deadly calm as she pulled away from her sister. “Please, tell me there is a plan.”

  “We will do everything we can to address the situation,” Jane promised. “Nik managed to get the guy on video, but not his face. But it’s more than we had before.”

  Nik handed Cal his phone. Cal replayed the video several times, his frown deepening with every repetition. Alex watched, too, over his shoulder. Again, I was struck by how comfortable the three men seemed together. They seemed to communicate without words, just gestures and facial expressions.

  “I recognize this mark,” Cal said. “It’s a brand. It marks a man as the descendent of a noble house of Rome. The idea was that if he fell in battle, even his enemies were supposed to know who he was and send his bones home to his family.”

  Nik’s jaw dropped. “The little Roman twerp?”

  Alex nodded as if to confirm it. “The little Roman twerp.”

  “His name is Augustus. No one knows the last name. That’s how old he is,” Cal said. “We met him in Paris, around the same time we befriended Alex. We could see how unbalanced he was, even then, and tried to stay away from him. He didn’t appreciate the rejection.”

  Jane gasped. “Oh, even I’ve heard of him. I wasn’t sure if Ophelia was trying to scare me or make my job easier, but she gave me a list of some of the most destructive psychotic vampires in history. Augustus No-Last-Name was two or three on the list. She said he was a butcher, the illegitimate spawn of some creepy Roman emperor. He mowed through entire towns to slake his thirst. The Council was formed in its infancy to deal with vampires like him.”

  Gigi leaned toward me, whispered. “Ophelia was the head of the vampire Council around here before Dick and Jane. She was turned when she was about fourteen, so picture an adorable teenage sociopath with fangs.”

  “Sociopath?”

  “Oh, yeah, in an indirect yet-entirely-still-her-fault-way, I was turned because she thought I was getting too close to her boyfriend,” Gigi said, pursing her lips. “She’s the literal worst.”

  “Augustus was a prick,” Nik added. When Alex showed him a startled look, he said, “You can say it. If you don’t, one of the ladies here will. On the night we met him, we had to stop him from going into an orphanage for a ‘quick snack.’”

  “Well, if the Council was founded to take care of vampires like him, why didn’t they?” I asked.

  Alex shrugged. “We thought they did. After the orphanage stunt, the three of us worked with what was eventually became the Council to help them track him down. It was how our friendship was formed, mutual disgust with Augustus.”

  Jane nudged Dick’s ribs with her elbow. “Some meaningful friendships have been founded on far less.”

  “I saved you from a parking lot ass-kicking,” Dick reminded her.

  “And you were amazing at it,” she assured him.

  “The Council set fire to a tavern where he’d spent weeks holed up, drinking from the kitchen maids. We thought he died in the blaze,” Cal said.

  “Do you think that’s why he’s targeting you?” Dick asked. “Revenge?”

  “It very well could be,” Cal said. “Even that imbecile could have figured out that we were involved in informing the Council of his activities. And when the Council burned the Inn, we were standing right outside, carrying torches. It would make sense, that he escalated to silver with Nik. He was the one Augustus hated most. The night of the orphanage, he threatened to rip Nik’s head off and use it for lawn bowling.”

  “He failed, of course,” Nik scoffed. “He was a spindly boy who vastly overestimated his power. Even vampire strength can only do so much.”

  Jane frowned at him. “Well, now we have to kill him for real. I can’t have a lunatic like that loose in my region…and I just realized that for the first time I’ve made a decision that Ophelia would have made. And now I’m questioning my decision.”

  “Wait, the messages at Iris’s house and Alex’s school were ‘get out of town’ and ‘stay away from local girls,’” I objected. “Wouldn’t they be different if he was trying to get revenge? Something like, ‘Remember the orphanage?’ or ‘Surprise, I’m not dead!”

  “You don’t still think your family was responsible for the vandalism, do you?” Jane asked.

  “I don’t know if it’s a better theory, but do you really think he waited hundreds of years for the three of you to move to the same tiny town so he can get back at you for an attempt on his life?” I asked. “No one is that crazy.”

  Iris put her hand on my shoulder. “Orphanage snack.”

  I sighed. “I don’t like that there is a place in my life for phrases like that.”

  “I want Ty to be safeguarded,” Alex insisted. “Jane, please request that a UERT unit be stationed outside the shop when Ty is working here.”

  “I was going to do that anyway,” Jane agreed.

  “And I would like other units stationed outside the perimeter of her pack’s compound,” he added.

  “Whoa, whoa, that cannot happen,” I told him. “My family will definitely notice a bunch of vampires in SWAT gear hanging out on the edge of their territory. And that will result in all sorts of questions that I can’t possibly answer without being sent to the werewolf version of military school.”

  “So you’re not willing to protect yourself? Is that what you’re telling me?” Alex asked, his brow furrowed. “You’re all right with being hurt?”

  Slowly, the vampires around us seemed to sense this was a conversation they should not witness. Nik and Gigi, and Cal and Iris, slowly backed into the historical section of the stacks. Andrea and Gabriel pretended to be occupied with something near the emergency exit in the back. But Dick and Jane remained, presumably because they needed to know whether I agreed to my own personal security army.

  “Do you know what would happen if they found out what I’ve been doing the last few weeks?” I countered. “Did you not hear me when I was talking about being kicked out of the pack? What that would mean for me?”

  He shook his head. “But if you explained to them—”

  “No,” I told him firmly. “I’ll agree to being guarded while I’m working here and while I’m running back and forth to town, but that’s as far as I’m willing to go,” I told him. “And if you can’t accept my word on this, maybe we don’t have the relationship I thought we were building.”

  It was as if an emotional shutter closed over his entire face. Suddenly, he was remote, colder, and I could feel a space open up between us that wasn’t hadn’t been there before.

  It was spring cleaning day on the compound. The McClaines might have a dozen or so defunct cars in our yards, but the grass was always trimmed around them. The barns were cleared of junk and the trailers were shiny clean, even if they were worn. I stood in my room, trying to decide whether I needed half of the stuff I’d accumulated over my lifetime.

  Over the past few days, I’d found I didn’t mind the “guard” from the Council. A van full of them waited outside the shop, ‘surveilling’ me. And another, Ray McElray, a beefy vampire with a dark curly mullet, sat at one of
the tables in “civilian clothes” pretending to read a book on the Honey Island Swamp Monster. Ray reminded me of one of my family members. He and Dick spent a lot of time talking about the various improvised anti-vampire weapons he was making at home. He was trying to get the Council to invest in an idea he had for an air gun that launched tiny silver spikes at vampire intruders. Dick liked the idea on principal, but said it was unlikely.

  Alex was distant. He hadn’t called in days and rarely stopped by the shop to see me. I tried to tell myself that he was just busy, getting the school back up and running. But I’d really hurt him with my refusal to be protected. I understood why he was upset, but was bewildered by his refusal to see my point of view. I was walking a fine line between peace at home and staying safe. He couldn’t just walk into my life and tell me how I was going to handle things. And I certainly didn’t want him making decisions for me.

  I was torn between wanting to beg him to forgive me and being angry at his lack of understanding. And while the idea of him being upset with me or even wanting to leave me sent me into a state of panic, part of me thought that maybe it was inevitable. Maybe I was fooling myself, thinking that a relationship with Alex was even an option for me.

  These were deep, depressing thoughts to have while I was trying to clean out my closet, which was already a depressing task. I stood, staring at the empty bar. There was a lot of extra room. You couldn’t tell what I owned and what I’d cleared out. Not even Mama would know for sure what was clean, what was dirty, what was missing.

  Suddenly, my jeans and t-shirts were in my hands and being stuffed into an old gym bag. I told myself it was just for emergencies, like those “go bags” the federal disaster types were always telling you to keep packed. But it could be more. It could be something I didn’t dare put into words for anyone else. Hands shaking, I crossed to my desk and took anything I didn’t think I could live without. A few of my favorite books, a framed photo of my late grandparents, a moonstone necklace my parents had given me for my sixteenth birthday. My ears almost twitched as I heard someone walking down the hall. I shoved the bag under my bed and returned to the closet, shaking out a dress and folding it.

  “What are you doing?” Mama asked.

  “Just setting some things aside for Marlene’s girls,” I told her, nudging the suitcase under my bed with my foot.

  “Well, that’s nice of you,” she paused, frowning at the pile of discarded clothes, neatly folded on my bed. “Those are your date night dresses, Tylene.”

  “Yes, and I’m sure Marlene’s girls can make good use of them. They’re getting a little tight for me.”

  “How are you going to go out on your date with Donnie if you don’t have any dresses?” she asked.

  “I don’t plan on going on any dates with Donnie, Mama. He’s in love with someone else.”

  “Well, that doesn’t mean that you just give up! Does his family approve of this girl?”

  “No, but he loves her, like really loves her and I refuse to torture a man who told me to my face how much he loves someone else,” I told her, taking a deep breath and steeling my nerves. “And I think you’ve figured out that I’ve started seeing someone. And I don’t want to confuse that whole situation by dating someone else.”

  For the briefest moment, relief and joy flashed across my mother’s face. “But that’s great news! Why wouldn’t you tell us anything about it?” she cried. And as quickly as it appeared, that joy drained out of her face. “Oh, no, he’s not a werewolf, is he? That’s why you didn’t want to tell us. He’s not human, is he?”

  “No, he’s not human,” I admitted. “He’s a vampire.”

  She shot to her feet and slammed my bedroom door closed.

  “Tylene McClaine! Only you could take Jolene’s mistake and make it worse,” she hissed. “You can’t breathe a word of this to your daddy or your Uncle Lonnie or anyone. Do you understand? This never happened. Did you go anywhere that people could see you?”

  “Yes, because I wasn’t doing anything wrong!” I told her. “He’s a good man, a kind man. And he makes me feel special, loved. Isn’t that what’s important?”

  Mama looked absolutely bewildered. “NO!”

  “Can you please help me with this?” I asked.

  “You don’t understand. When your daddy brought me back here, it was a huge upset. He was supposed to marry a girl from the Ansen pack. It was all arranged. And then he left, which was bad enough, but then he found me. I was unattached, but we got pregnant with you and we married without permission from either pack. I couldn’t go back home, do you understand?”

  My mouth dropped open but no words would escape. I knew that my mother didn’t have contact with her pack in Florida, but I thought it was because of the distance and how possessive my dad’s pack was. We just didn’t have the time to visit them or keep up socializing. I’d never really thought about it.

  “He brought me back here and nothing was the way I thought it would be. Lonnie had been chosen as the next Alpha, passing over your daddy. And that was bad enough, but I just didn’t fit in here. It was nothing like my pack and the harder I tried, the more the aunts pulled away and ignored me. So I just followed. I did exactly what they wanted, and they finally accepted me.”

  “Have they really?” I asked.

  “Well, as close as they’ll ever come to accepting me,” she said.

  “I don’t want that sort of life , Mama. I need your help. I can’t keep this up. I’m going to make changes. And if those changes make them as mad as I think they will, I’m going to need your support.”

  Mama’s shoulders curled around her. “I can’t honey. If that’s what you want, you’re going to have to do it on your own.”

  “Even if it means you might never see me again?” I asked.

  She turned to me, her dark eyes full of tears. “I can’t lose your daddy, the pack. I’ve put too much time in to lose it all now.”

  I nodded, trying not to let it hurt that she didn’t consider me part of what she could lose.

  “Can you at least promise not to tell anybody anything until I’m ready?”

  She laughed, a brittle, rattling sound. “You think I want to be the one to tell him?”

  She got up, and without another word, walked out of my room. For a long time, I sat on the bed and stared at the wall. I don’t know why I’d hoped my mother might make this situation easier, but now it was clear I was on my own. And if I didn’t do something, I would end up just like her, unhappy, gray and constantly afraid.

  No more being afraid.

  I pulled out my phone and scrolled through the contacts. The phone rang several times before I realized that it was daytime and Dick wouldn’t be awake for hours. Friendships with vampires was very rewarding but this whole “dead during daylight hours” was sort of inconvenient. I waited for the voicemail to pick up.

  “Hey Dick, it’s Ty. I know you’re sleeping right now, but when you get up can you call me back? I was wondering if that apartment is still available.”

  9

  “Being left ‘on read’ can be very frustrating. But showing up at someone’s door to ask why they haven’t responded to your text? It’s an overstep.”

  —A Gentleman in Any Era: An Ancient Vampire’s Guide to Modern Relationships

  * * *

  Contrary to what my parents had told me, once I told Dick that I was interested in the apartment, it was all very simple. They didn’t even run a credit check on me and gave me a “family discount.” My savings, considerably padded by the extra income from my new clients, were more than enough to cover first and last month’s rent, plus deposit. I had utilities set up in my name within twenty-four hours of calling Dick.

  For the first time in my life, I felt like a real adult. I was buoyed by this strange sense of hope. I had been so sure for so long that nothing would ever change. I thought I knew exactly how my life was going to play out and now, suddenly there were so many possibilities. I could do anything, go anywher
e. I just had to have the courage to complete this first step.

  Dick and Andrea were the only people who knew. I didn’t want to tell anyone else until I told my parents. And I kept putting that off. I set a deadline for telling them after I had the application filled out. And then I thought maybe I wouldn’t say anything until the utilities were open, because that was the real point of no return. And then, I didn’t want to ruin their weekend, especially when I hadn’t even signed up for recycling pick-up.

  At this point, I hadn’t even had the nerve to tell Alex yet. I told myself that I just wanted to surprise him when I had everything settled; but really, despite all this hope for change, there was still this lingering doubt in the back of my mind that I might not follow through with it. I didn’t want to get his hopes up only to disappoint him.

  I’d finally gotten in contact with Alex to set up a date night, but for the first time since we met, he seemed…off. I’d had to lie to my parents, tell them that I was babysitting Jolene’s kids for the night, and he knew it. He was quiet, still just as distant as he had been for weeks, and I just wanted to go home. I didn’t think that was a good sign.

  We were trying to have a nice, normal night in, like a regular couple. We’d curled up on his couch, watching a concert streamed live from Vienna—a collection of Mozart pieces that sounded like heaven’s soundtrack. But my phone was dinging steadily all night, with messages from my aunts about my next date with Donnie Ansen.

  They’d collectively decided that we would go out to a movie that weekend. They’d even picked the title and the time for us. I was surprised they didn’t dictate what snacks we could order.

  And then there were texts with Donnie, coordinating excuses as to why we couldn’t go on another date. Donnie offered to say he had some sort of skin fungus that required him to stay indoors, which was awfully sweet of him.

  “Why is your phone chirping like a hyperactive canary?” he asked. “Is everything all right?”