Making Home with You

by Claire Raye

  Sarah presses a kiss to my chest, the gesture simple, but reassuring.

  “Then she seemed to set her sights on me,” I continue. “She kept asking me out for dinner and was practically throwing herself at me. I wasn’t ever interested and I thought I’d made that clear.”

  “So what’s happened to change all that?” Sarah asks.

  I take another deep breath, my head falling backward. I know exactly what it is that’s happened and she’s lying here in my arms. But I can’t tell Sarah that, because as much as I might hate what’s going on right now, there’s no way I want Sarah to think that any of it is her fault.

  “I don’t know,” I say, shrugging. “She’s just hassling me more, doesn’t seem to want to give up.”

  Sarah says nothing now, her head resting against my chest as she takes in everything I’ve just told her. I have no idea if she believes me or what she thinks and I desperately want to convince her that everything’s going to be okay. Even if I have no idea if that’s true.

  “Baby,” I eventually say, sliding down the bed a little so we’re face to face. “Please don’t worry about this, okay?” I whisper, pressing a kiss to her lips. “Everything’s going to be alright. I’m right where I want to be and exactly who I want to be with,” I add.

  “You’re sure?” she asks, her voice barely audible.

  I smile, brush back her hair as I pull her closer. “I promise,” I tell her before kissing her again.

  By late afternoon, we are up and dressed, Sarah mentioning how she wants to run over to Kelsey’s and show her some of things she was working on for her yesterday while I was at work.

  I feel like we’re in a better place now than we were this morning, and while we haven’t spoken anymore about Carla and what’s going on with her, we have fallen back into that easy rhythm we seem to have together.

  “Will you come back when you’re done?” I ask, as I kiss her goodbye at the front door.

  She looks up at me, a soft smile on her face as she brushes my hair back. “You want me to?” she asks.

  I lean down and kiss her. “Always.”

  Her smile widens. “Okay. I’ll stop by Erin’s on my way back and grab some clothes. You want me to get something for dinner?”

  I kiss her again, deeper this time. “I’ll sort dinner,” I tell here. “Just hurry back here.”

  She grins, swatting me on the butt before walking out to her car. I watch her drive away, only closing the door when her car disappears down the street. As I head back inside, my mind starts to turn over the events of last night, the noise on my back deck and the very real possibility that Carla was out there.

  Just as I’m picking up the phone to call Sam, fill him in on what I think happened, there’s a knock at my door. My stomach immediately clenches as I picture Carla, standing there ready to accuse me of a million other things that are all lies.

  But when I open the door, it’s Beck, a six pack of beer in his hands and an unreadable expression on his face.

  “Hey,” I say, opening the door wider. “What are you doing here?”

  Beck wordlessly walks inside and heads straight for the kitchen. Taking two beers from the six pack, he turns and hands me one before opening his own and taking a long pull. When he’s done, he meets my stare and says, “You wanna tell me what that comment was all about last night?”

  I exhale, opening my own beer. “It was nothing,” I say, swallowing the cold liquid. “An offhand remark.”

  Beck straightens and takes a step toward me. “Bullshit, Finn,” he says. “Tell me what’s going on,” he adds, his voice softening a little.

  I stare at my brother knowing there’s no chance I could ever fool him about this. Despite our years apart, he knows me better than anyone. Plus, he was a cop and he can read people, tell when their lying. We’ve both been trained in that.

  “It’s Carla,” I eventually say.

  “Yeah, I figured,” he says. “Kels told me there’s been some talk around town.”

  I roll my eyes, frustrated at how this shit seems to get around. “That’s because she and her friends are a bunch of gossips.”

  “Yeah, well we knew this,” Beck says, taking another sip of beer. “But what’s happened?” he asks again. “What’s changed?”

  I mirror his action, emptying half the bottle as I brace myself for my brother’s reaction when I tell him the truth. “She’s made an accusation,” I eventually say, not looking away.

  “Of what?” he asks, his body stiffening a little.

  I finish my beer and immediately reach for another. “Sexual harassment,” I say. “Sixteen years ago.”

  “What?” Beck asks, shocked. “That night at the party?”

  I nod, but don’t say anything.

  “For fuck’s sake,” Beck says. “I thought you said she started that?”

  “She did,” I reply.

  “Well, what the fuck is she on about then?”

  I shake my head. “I don’t know,” I admit. “But I’m guessing it’s got something to do with the fact I’m seeing Sarah.”

  Beck stares back at me, his face a mixture of shock and concern. “You haven’t told Sarah any of this, have you?” he eventually asks.

  “No,” I say. “And I’d really like to keep it that way.”

  Beck exhales, running a hand through his hair before he finishes his own beer and grabs another. “But you’re serious about her?” he asks.

  I nod.

  “Finn, you gotta tell her,” he says. “Especially if you feel the way I think you do.”

  I stare back at my brother, unsure whether I can admit how I really feel about Sarah. It’s not like it’s something I’m afraid of. Weirdly enough it feels totally normal, totally right, even if love and a relationship and playing house with someone was everything I thought I didn’t want.

  It’s that I don’t know how Sarah feels. Or how long she’s going to be around for now that she’s got this job in Boston.

  “I will, Beck,” I eventually say, even if my words are a half-truth at best. “But it’s gotta come from me, okay?” I tell him. “Not you, not Kelsey and definitely not Erin or Ryan.”

  Beck stares back at me, not saying anything as though he’s internally running through all the ways to convince me this is a bad idea. Just as I’m about to ask him again, beg him not to say a word, he nods. “Alright,” he says. “I won’t say anything.”

  “Thank you,” I say letting out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding.

  “But in the meantime,” he continues. “What the fuck are we going to do about this situation with Carla?”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Sarah

  I spend the better part of the afternoon finishing up Kelsey’s business plan and branding for the inn, and it reminds me why I majored in marketing and public relations. It’s something I truly enjoy doing, but hell, it’s nearly impossible to break into the business when you have virtually no experience.

  I’m hoping Kelsey profits from what I’ve done and lets me add it to my portfolio, because right now I need all the help I can get to get out of this stupid job with my own personal harasser.

  As I’m finishing up the last branded image, I can’t help but let my thoughts wander to Finn and his predicament at work. I know he’s trying to be casual about what is happening, but there’s no way he’s not completely worried about it. He is extremely devoted to his job and the idea that he might not be the chief anymore has got to be eating away at him.

  That job has been his identity for too long to let it slip between his fingers over some woman who has a vendetta.

  I want him to be able to share how he’s feeling with me. I want him to know that I am a person he can vent to with no judgment. I want him to share everything with me. But as I sit here thinking this, I realize I have told him nothing about what is happening at my job, and a part of me wonders why I’ve been so secretive with him too.

&
nbsp; Am I embarrassed by what my boss is doing? Am I worried Finn will blow me off, dismiss my feeling about the situation? Or is it that I’m concerned we don’t have that kind of relationship? Whatever it is, saying something now just overshadows what he’s going through or makes it seems like my situation is more important. Like I gave what he’s said a hot second to sink in and then I tried to top it.

  I shake my head as I grab my laptop, hoping that if I just ignore it everything will sort itself out. I send Kelsey a text letting her know I’ll be by the inn in just a few minutes because I am actually a few minutes earlier than I expected. I never thought I’d be able to finish an entire business plan, marketing images, and the setting up of social media sites, but I guess when you enjoy something the time files by.

  I head back to Kelsey’s office as soon as I arrive at the inn. I don’t even bother to go through the inn, but rather use the back door that connects to her office. The view is amazing even in the winter, something I discovered when I was photographing the inn for her social media pages and advertising material. I’ll need to make some adjustments as the seasons change so her material stays up to date. That is if this becomes a job or if she even wants to continue working with me.

  I really hope she does because at least this is a nice mental break from my current job.

  Kelsey is at her desk when I knock on the door. I don’t just want to walk in and anyway, I’m sure the door is locked. Given what happened to her in the past, something Erin mentioned to me, I imagine that having someone stalk you probably makes you a bit more cautious.

  Kelsey smiles when she sees me and quickly opens the door.

  “Get in here. It’s freezing out there,” she says, giving me a hug and taking my coat from me.

  “Thanks. It is freezing and I’m already sick of the snow and I know we still have like an endless amount of months left before it’s over.”

  I stomp the snow from my boots while Kelsey adds my coat to the rack by the door. I grab my laptop and sit down at the small table where Erin, Kelsey and I had dinner recently.

  “You ready?” I ask, suddenly feeling extremely nervous. If she hates everything I’ve done, maybe that’s a sign that I’m not cut out for this.

  “Absolutely! Let’s see what you’ve got. I’ve been waiting somewhat patiently,” Kelsey says, giggling a little.

  I open my laptop and begin with what her business and marketing plan will look like and how she can begin to profit just from clicks through her social media pages. I share with her all the images of inn I took and how I used them in brochures, business cards and on her website. I have a folder of scheduled social media posts, all branded with her colors and theming. I’ve even redesigned her signage and linked it to a business in Boston I worked with in grad school.

  I know that the inn has been in her family for years, but her logo and her sign is outdated and definitely doesn’t reflect the image or the design she created inside. All I can hope is that she doesn’t think I’ve overstepped my boundaries since we never really discussed what I would be creating or what she expected from me.

  When I finish, she’s silent for a few seconds and my heart begins to race, taking her silence to mean everything is too much.

  But when she beams at me and says, “Oh my god, Sarah. This is fucking unbelievable.” A long sign of relief leaves my body and I feel the tension in my shoulders finally relax.

  “I don’t think I can pay you for all your time and effort, but I will make it up to you any way I can.”

  “You told me what your budget was and I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t think what you could pay was worth my time,” I tell her, smiling back, thrilled that she’s happy.

  “Thank you,” she says, sincerely. “I love everything you’ve done. You managed to pick an amazing color scheme; the pictures of the inn are unreal. How in the world did you get them?”

  “Most were taken with my phone and edited, and the overhead shots, I used a drone.” I roll my eyes and shake my head. “Who would’ve thought Ryan’s stupid toy would come in handy?”

  We both laugh and Kelsey continues to carry on about how great the work I did is, and asks me about tracking the profits she could gain through social media clicks.

  After spending a good hour or so talking about how I’ll continue to help manage her social media pages and how I’ll update her branding and theming to reflect the current seasons, she asks about sharing what I’ve done with other local inn owners.

  “I have a lot of friends in the business, B and B’s in Gloucester and some of the other small beachside towns, would you mind if I passed your name along to them? Do you have a business card?”

  I smile at her, grateful for her enthusiasm, but I’m not sure I have the time or resources to take this on as business. “This is just a side job for me, a hobby. I’m not sure I have the time with my current job to take on anyone else.”

  “That’s a shame because you have a real talent for this, and I know you can’t make a career out of it working for me and the measly amount I’m paying you.”

  “I’d love to do this fulltime and I’m hoping I land a job doing it one day. Speaking of, would you mind if I use what I created for you in my portfolio?”

  “Of course you can use it!” Kelsey states excitedly, her eyes lighting up at the thought of the inn being part of my interview process. “Is there a possibility you could move into a job like this at the place you’re currently working?”

  “I hope so,” I say shrugging my shoulders as I think about Andrew and begin to wonder if moving up means allowing his harassment to go further.

  “How’s the job going?” she asks, almost like she can sense it’s going nowhere.

  I pause, trying to find the right words, but I just can’t and everything I’ve been keeping inside flies out of me.

  “Honestly, my job is a nightmare,” I lament, the feeling of tears welling up in my eyes and tightening my throat. And without letting her ask why, I unload my secret. “The commute is terrible, but that isn’t it. My boss is a fucking slimy douchebag. Calling him handsy doesn’t even begin to describe it. He’s the epitome of sexual harassment and I’ve been told if I want to move up in the company that I’m just supposed to indulge him.”

  “Sarah, you can’t keep working there. Actually, yes you can, but you need to report him. Has he hurt you?” she asks, concern blanketing her face. “Have you told anyone?”

  “I haven’t said anything to anyone, but it’s a well known thing in the office and it seems like everyone just lets it happen. I have no idea who I would report it to. I imagine that our HR department has heard it all before. And clearly they give no fucks.”

  Kelsey continues to question me and I admit that while he hasn’t actually done anything physical to me, he definitely crosses a personal space line and he makes me feel really uncomfortable. I tell her I have told him to back off.

  I’m not the kind of girl who will just sit back and let someone treat me like shit, but he is my boss and I need this job. I need health insurance and a steady paycheck, but what I don’t need is to be harassed on a daily basis. I need to be more vocal, need to set firmer boundaries with him.

  “Have you told Finn?”

  I shake my head, knowing Finn is going through his own shit right now.

  “You need to,” she presses. “He’s going to be pissed if something happens and you’ve kept it from him.”

  “He’s going through his own shit right now,” I defend, like I’m trying to make excuses for why I haven’t said anything to him. It’s not like he hasn’t asked about my job. He literally asks about it every single day and I’m always vague.

  “Sarah, he’d want to know, especially since he’s going through something right now. He knows what it’s like to struggle, to feel like you have no one to talk to. Please, tell him.”

  I nod and change the subject, “What do you know about Carla?” I ask, since Finn hasn’t shared much
, and knowing Kelsey is up on the town gossip.

  “We have mutual friends and we do some cross promotion with our businesses. She owns a local restaurant.” Kelsey shrugs her shoulders, but still continues. “I know her and Finn slept together back in high school, but I don’t think it ever amounted to anything.”

  I can tell she’s being reserved. I understand not wanting to say too much since it is Finn’s life and not hers, but the part of me that is concerned about Finn needs to know more.

  “Why do you think she’s going after Finn now, after all this time?”

  “You really want to know what I think?”

  “I do because Finn isn’t sharing anything with me. He’s being all breezy about it.”

  “That’s just kinda how Finn is. He’s private. I’ve told you that before and it’s not just with you. He’s like that with everyone.” She waits a few breaths before continuing and I can feel myself grow nervous. My palms are sweaty and my hands shake a little. And as much as I keep telling myself it isn’t because of me, I know it is.

  “Honestly, Sarah, it’s because of you. Because he’s dating you. Your relationship is threatening to the women in this town; the ones who thought they’d someday end up with Finn.”

  As much as I knew that was the reason, it’s still like a punch to the gut when Kelsey says it. Thinking it is one thing, but saying it out loud is another.

  “Don’t take it personally,” Kelsey says, because clearly my poker face sucks. “Those women aren’t right for him and they never would be. To them it’s a game, a conquest about who can land Finn O’Loughlin. They don’t care about him and they know nothing about him. He’s elusive and that makes him the hunted.”

  It’s hard for me to respond because I am questioning everything and I do worry that I’m not enough. But I also know I’m different from these women and I can be what Finn needs.