Bill the Minder

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by W. Heath Robinson


  THE CAMP-FOLLOWERS

  Time was now getting on, and the fidgety old King, weary of beingconstantly on the move, became more and more impatient to reach hisjourney's end. For many days they had been crossing the great desert,and were fast approaching the further side when, one evening, theaggravating old fellow decided that they should march on right throughthe night. In vain did Bill point out to him how tired they all were;the old King would not even listen to him, so, whether they liked it ornot, they had to jog on.

  Wearily they trudged along, and towards morning they came upon a greatstone sphinx, in the arms of which there nestled a company of littlechildren, every one of whom was fast asleep. Presently, as the sun roseand shone under the lids of their eyes, they, one by one, awakened, andstared in mute astonishment at the dusty figures before them. Assuringthem that they had nothing to fear at their hands, Bill, with the King'spermission, invited them all to breakfast. Seated in a great circle onthe sands, beneath the old sphinx, every one did his utmost to make thestrangers comfortable and to remove their natural shyness; and, in alittle while, it was a very jovial party that sat demolishing thesubstantial breakfast prepared for them. Many songs were sung andstories told by Bill and his comrades, and presently one of the littlefellows, who appeared to be the youngest of their new friends, stood upand related the following story:--

  'We are all brothers and sisters, and lived, until yesterday, with ourgood parents upon a sandbank in the mouth of the river Blim which, asyou know, is one of the smaller tributaries of the river Nile. Ourfather was a fisherman, and upon the only spot on the bank whichremained invariably high and dry, the clever man had erected a shedwhich served us for home, and which, at least, protected us from theshowers of spray blown from the rough seas, and the chill winds thatblew across the neighbouring marshes, as well as the cold rains that, inthe fall of the year, flooded the adjacent country for miles around. Adozen stout beams, that had been cast up by the waves, served, each withone end deeply embedded in the wet sand, as a framework for our humblemansion. These were covered over with numerous skins of fish and piecesof old rag, all neatly stitched together by our industrious mother, orpinned by fish-bones skilfully sharpened by grinding their ends betweentwo stones. Our good dad's stock-in-trade consisted of one long piece offrayed string, with a sharpened fishbone, bent in the form of a hook,fastened at one end, a small boat and a paddle, the former of which hehad skilfully fashioned out of an old basket that had been washedashore, and over which he had stretched more of the rags and fish-skins,of which we always possessed a goodly supply saved over from our meals.

  They came upon a great stone sphinx]

  'During the long winter months we were entirely cut off from our fellowcreatures by the floods and the terrible storms at sea, and werecompelled to subsist entirely upon our own resources; and thus welearnt, after many a bitter trial, to make almost everything we requiredfrom the spoils brought home by our hard-working father. The fleshof the fish, of course, served us for meat, either fresh or pickled inbrine, and then dried in the sun. The roes, prepared in the same way,were our only delicacies, and, by an indulgence in these, we used tocelebrate our many birthdays. Fish dripping we had in plenty, and thebones were dried and ground between two rocks, making the finest flourfor bread and pies. The tails and fins were always saved, and, after asimple drying process, made excellent fuel, easily set alight withsparks kindled by knocking two stones sharply together. A fine black ashwas left from fires kindled in this way, which, mixed with a littlesea-water, made one of the purest inks. The good dad always encouragedus to make notes on the smooth white skins of the young dab, bleachedand dried in the sun, explaining how useful they would be to us inafter-life, and showed us how to cut pens from the larger bones of thefish. The only parts which the unselfish man reserved for himself werethe eyes which, when dried, were his only substitute for tobacco in thatlone part of the world, and which he smoked in a pipe most beautifullycarved by himself, from the spine of an old cod.

  'The heads of the fish served the younger children for bricks, or even,after a little trimming, for dolls, with which they amused themselvesduring the long winter evenings. Many another device had we whereby wemade the most of our very small opportunities, but you will readily seehow dependent we were for everything upon the good fortune andresources of our father, without whom we should all very quickly haveperished.

  'For many days and nights at a time our good dad would remain upon thesea, returning sometimes with a good supply of fish; at other times,alas! with only one or two little dabs, or even with nothing at all.Yet, by dint of saving up for a rainy day, when we had more than enoughfor our present needs, we managed to jog along fairly comfortably. Onesad winter's evening, however, our good parent returned, having caughtnothing but a very small dab and a very severe cold. Our anxious mother,in a state of alarm, lit a great fire and, after making him take a bowlof steaming fish gruel, with his feet at the same time in a bath of hotsea-water, she sent him to bed, and covered him up with as many fishskins as she could spare from the house. The next day he was decidedlyworse, and our anxiety increased day by day as he showed no signs ofimprovement. Very soon, with no one to replenish our larder, our storesbegan to run low, and starvation stared us in the face.

  'At last one morning the invalid called our eldest brother to him andsaid to him:--"Son, our stores are all eaten up, and unless we obtainfood by to-morrow morning we shall all surely die, so take my boat andfishing-line and see what luck will attend you." With tears in his eyes,the good-hearted boy left the house and very soon embarked.

  THE HEADS SERVED FOR DOLLS]

  'Having paddled some way out to sea, he threw his line, and fished andfished. After a little while he drew it in again to find, alas! that hehad caught nothing. For the second time he cast his line, and fished andfished and fished, but on again pulling in the line he found that he hadno better luck. He now for the third time threw out his line, and fishedand fished and fished and fished, yet no better fortune attended him;so, bitterly disappointed, he wound up the tackle and paddled home.

  'Sorrowfully the unhappy father heard of his eldest son's want ofsuccess, and then sent for his second eldest son, and requested him tosee if fortune would be kinder to him than it had been to his brother.But, alas! he returned likewise without even so much as a whitebait.Then, one after the other, he sent all his sons except myself, who amthe youngest of all, but not a little piece of luck awaited any of them.The wretched man now called me to him and said:--"Son, hitherto I havebeen reluctant to send one so young upon such an errand, but,alack-a-day! you are now our only hope; unless good fortune waits uponyou we shall all perish."

  YOU ARE NOW OUR ONLY HOPE]

  'After comforting him as much as I could, and assuring him that I woulddo my best, I hastened down to the shore and embarked in the littleboat. I paddled a good way out to sea until I came to a suitablefishing-ground, and then threw out my line. I fished and fished andfished and fished, and on drawing in my line found nothing on the hookexcept the bait, a wretched piece of dried fish skin, which looked verydraggled as it rose from the water. "Better luck next time," thought I,as I threw my line for the second time, and fished and fished and fishedand fished and fished. Yet, on pulling up the line, I found to my dismaythat instead of better luck I had even worse, if that were possible, forthe wretched bait had vanished from the hook. "Once more," thought I, asI dropped my line overboard for the third time, "and, fish or no fish, Imust give it up, even though we all die of starvation." So I fished andfished and fished and fished and fished with all my might, and when atlength I had hauled it in you may imagine my distress when I discoveredthat not merely was there no fish upon the line, but that the hookitself had disappeared. With tears of rage and disappointment I now gaveit up and prepared to return, but I had not gone very far when Ithought, "Shall I have just one more try even without hook or bait?" Andnot giving myself any time to think about it, I hurled my line out forthe fourth time and fished and fished an
d fished and fished and fishedand fished and fished as hard as I could, when fancying that I felt anibble, I hauled it in as quickly as possible and found an oldsardine-tin which had become entangled in the line.

  'Hastily opening the tin, all I found therein was the head of an oldsprat. "Alas!" said I to myself, "is this, after all my troubles, theonly food I can take to my suffering father and hungering mother andbrothers and sisters; better it would have been had we never beenborn!" and the tears streamed down my face.

  'As I bent low over my miserable catch a great shadow passed across theboat and suddenly looking up, I beheld a beautiful albatross sailing inthe sky above me. No sooner did the graceful creature catch sight of thehead of the sprat than it swooped down upon the tin that contained it,snatching it from my hands, and flew off with it as speedily aspossible. Now it happened I had not let go my hold on the line, theother end of which was still fastened to the tin, so that in a very fewminutes I felt myself lifted bodily up and whirled through the air andout to sea at a great speed. Dangling many feet beneath the great bird,on and on I was carried over the tops of the waves, in the greatestanxiety lest the marauding fowl should take a lower flight, in whichcase I should inevitably have been plunged into the sea and drowned.

  'How many miles we travelled thus it would be impossible for me to tell,but at length my arms grew tired of holding on and supporting my weight,and I began to fear every moment that I should slip off into the sea,when I beheld a fishing-boat in the distance, right in our course.Hoping that we should reach it before my strength gave out I anxiouslywatched the vessel as we gradually drew near. At last I found myselfdirectly over the boat, and shutting my eyes, I let go my hold on theline, and dropped down right on to a pile of fish in the middle of thedeck, sending them flying in all directions amongst the astonishedfisherman.

  I FISHED AND FISHED AND FISHED]

  'My remarkable appearance amongst them had the most astonishing effectupon the fishermen. They one and all leapt into the sea, andnotwithstanding my endeavours to entice them back to the boat, and toexplain to them my sudden descent upon their vessel, the affrightedcreatures swam off to the distant shore, which, let us hope, theyreached in safety.

  'Looking around me I now discovered, to my great joy, that the boat wasfull of the finest fish, so, seizing the oars, I turned her head towardshome, where I arrived with my prize on the following morning, after ahard night's work, rowing the heavily-laden craft to shore.

  'The rejoicings were great, as you may well imagine, when my goodparents and brothers and sisters beheld me again, for all had given meup for lost, our old boat having been washed ashore the previousevening. A great meal of fish was prepared as soon as possible, at whichwe all ate heartily after so long a fast, and the old gentleman'scondition was greatly improved by the meal.

  'Long before the large supply of food had been consumed, the good livingand comfort had restored our dad's health, and he was able to resume hisfishing. Being now so much better equipped with the fine boat in which Ihad returned, and with the splendid tackle we discovered therein, goodluck always attended his fishing and we never wanted any more.

  'In the course of time it became necessary that their children shouldall leave them and seek their fortunes, and only yesterday morning, withmany tears, we bade adieu to our kind-hearted parents and started on ourjourney.'

  The young strangers were now all thoroughly refreshed by theirbreakfast, and learning the nature of the campaign upon which the Kingand his army were engaged, willingly offered their assistance ascamp-followers, or in any other way that they might be useful. The Kingvery gratefully accepted their services, and before resuming the marchthe whole army went out of their way and visited the kindly fisherman.The King was pleased to confer many honours on the old fellow, and,before leaving him, promised to look after his numerous family, and inthe future to provide for all their wants.

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  THE SIEGE OF TROY]

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