THE SIEGE OF TROY
Early one fine morning, before the soldiers had arisen, the King, in avery excited state, called his general to his bedside and, pointingthrough the opening of his tent, said:--
'Bill, can you see, far away upon the horizon, that little point oflight?' And Bill, straining his eyes in the direction indicated, wasindeed able to detect a little flash, as though the sun were shiningupon a cucumber frame many miles away.
'Well,' said the old man, 'that is the reflection of the sun upon thedome of my palace in Troy.'
Bill, delighted that at last they were nearing their journey's end, wentoff and awakened the camp with the glad news, and all came running outand gazed in the direction of Troy; and so heartened were the bravefellows at the sight that they gave three resounding cheers.
Their eagerness to be off was so great that there was no breakfast thatmorning, and soon performing a hurried toilet, and speedily packing uptheir sticks, they were on the move once more. The King's excitementknew no bounds and, after distributing amongst his followers thecontents of his pocket, he insisted on climbing out of his chariot, andgiving each of his officers in turn a ride therein. Having travelledsome little way, the King suddenly called a halt, and held up his handfor silence, and then, in the clear air, could be heard the bells ofTroy! More excited than ever, the King now took off his crown, andremoving some of the jewels with the pen-knife which Bill had presentedto him on his birthday, gave one to each of his chief officers.
In a little time the towers of Troy came into view, on the further edgeof the great plain they were crossing, and the elated King, quite besidehimself with joy and expectation at this glorious sight, stood upon theseat of his chariot and danced, much to the alarm of Boadicea, who waswheeling him. He then sat down again, and, taking off his slippers, hethrew them, one by one, as high into the air as he could, and caughtthem as they descended. As they came nearer and nearer to their goal theold fellow's spirits rose to such a pitch that something really had tobe done, so the musician was told-off to play soothing tunes to him, andin time the excitable creature calmed down, only, however, to break outagain when they halted that night before the walls of Troy. At last, tokeep him quiet once and for all, and out of everybody's way, they puthim to bed with a soothing-draught made up by the doctor.
The approach of the gallant fellows had been closely observed from thewatch-towers of the city, and, in consequence, they found the gates fastclosed when they halted before them. And, as nothing could be done thatnight, they fixed up their camp and retired to rest.
On the following morning, Bill sent the merchant's wife as anambassadress into the city, to demand its instant surrender, and verygladly she undertook the task.
Closely observed from the watch towers]
'This is quite in my line,' said she, as she knocked for admittance atthe gate, through which she was admitted after a little delay. Billwaited anxiously for her reappearance, hoping that the King of Persiawould be wise enough to give up the city without further trouble, butsuddenly a great roar resounded from the other side of the walls, andalmost immediately afterwards the ambassadress, with tufts of thePersian King's hair held between her clenched fingers, was thrown out ofthe gates.
'There's nothing for it now,' thought Bill, 'but to lay siege to theplace,' and he at once proceeded to walk round the city and examine thenature of the ground; after which he mustered his whole force beforehim, and disposed them according to the accompanying plan:--
PLAN OF SIEGE]
In this way Bill completely surrounded the city, allowing no provisionsof any kind to enter, and prepared to wait until the inhabitants hadexhausted all their stores, and could hold out no longer.
These were the instructions of General Bill to his army, to befaithfully carried out during the siege:--
1. That the King was not to be allowed out of his tent on any account, in spite of his impatience.
2. That, with the exception of the general and the scout, no warrior was allowed, without his officers permission, to leave his post, day or night, during the siege, and if any one were discovered sleeping without one eye open, his allowance of sugar for porridge next morning was to be stopped.
3. That the scout was to be continually on the move.
4. That Boadicea was to prepare all the meals, and that at each meal time she was to take the food she had cooked to the soldiers (an extra large portion being always reserved for the King).
5. That every morning, with breakfast, she was to take to each his boots brightly polished, a bowl of hot water to wash in, and a comb, and that every evening she should bring them their slippers and their night-shirts.
For three years the siege went on, in quite a peaceful and, at times,even a pleasant way, with no sign at all of the Trojans feeling anydiscomfort; in fact, since the Merchant's Wife had been turned from thecity, not a sound had been heard from within the walls.
Now it happened one morning, about this time, that the gates, to everyone's surprise, were thrown open, and a messenger, with a flag of truce,came forth. The poor fellow looked hungry enough, indeed, yet theMerchant's Wife roughly seized upon the famished creature, much to hisannoyance, and brought him to the general. Bill, hoping that he had comewith an offer from the King of Persia to surrender the city, joyfullyhanded the young man a chair and a biscuit, and, before allowing him tospeak, insisted on his eating a bowl of hot porridge. When he hadhungrily demolished the food, Bill kindly invited him to deliver hismessage, which, in a hesitating manner, he thus proceeded to do:--
'The King of Persia sends greetings to his dear old friend, the King ofTroy, and wishes to assure him that he bears no ill-will towards him. Onthe contrary, his happiest moments are spent in recalling those far-offtimes when, as young children, they played the livelong day together, ingood-will and friendliness. He also begs him, for a few minutes, toallow his natural kindness to overcome his enmity, and send his oldfriend, now faint with hunger, enough suet to make just a little puddingfor himself.'
Bill, a trifle disappointed, took the message to the King of Troy, whoseemed very much affected on hearing it.
THESE PARCELS WERE NOW LABELLED]
'Give the old fellow a cracknel,' roared he, 'and tell him that if hesurrenders the city at once, he can have as nice a snack of dinner as hecould wish.'
The messenger returned to the city with the message and the cracknel,and Bill waited all through the day and night, but no word came from thecity.
After breakfast next morning, when, as Bill thought, the King of Persiawould be feeling hungry, he called to him the nine stout sons of Crispinand Chloe and then summoned to him the Merchant's Wife and the SicilianChar-woman, and between them they managed to wrap up each of the bravelads in brown paper, properly secured with strong string, making ninevery neat parcels. The general had previously instructed the bravefellows how to act at the right moment, and in the meantime to remainperfectly still. These parcels were now labelled severally lemon cheesecake, fairy cakes, rock cakes, Jumbles, raspberry noyeau, mince pies,Pontefract cakes and peppermint cushions, and then all neatly piled uponthe King's wheeling-chair, which Bill had borrowed for the purpose.
Solemnly preceded by Bill, the Merchant's Wife and the Char-woman (beingthe two strongest people in the forces) now wheeled the chair up to thegates, in front of which they emptied its contents.
The hungry Trojans had observed their approach, from the walls abovewhich could now be seen innumerable heads popping up and down, and nosooner did they see what the chair was supposed to contain than theyclimbed down, and without any hesitation opened the gates. Bill thenspoke to the Trojans in the following words:--
'The King of Troy sends greetings to the King of Persia and hearing thathis stores are exhausted, and, although at war with him, not wishingthat he should suffer any serious discomfort, begs his acceptance ofthese provisions.' Bill and the two ladies now retired with the emptywheeling-chair and took up the
ir position before the walls once more.
In the meanwhile the parcels were taken into the city and presented tothe King of Persia who was then sitting, with the whole of his court,hungrily wondering what was going to happen next. The parcels wereheaped up before him, and he could hardly conceal his delight andeagerness to begin on the victuals at once. All his courtiers too seemedquite inclined to forget their manners and help themselves before theywere asked. The King now took up the largest parcel, labelled Pontefractcakes, which happened to contain Hannibal, when at a given signal eachone of the courageous young fellows broke from his confinement and atonce set on those around him. Hannibal and Noah seized the Persian Kingand bound him securely with some of the string from the parcels; each ofthe other brave sons of Crispin bound some minister or courtier in thesame way, and the rest of the court fled from the palace in abjectterror.
The nine lads now gave chase, and the panic which possessed theaffrighted courtiers spread, in no time, through the city, and the wholeof the inhabitants were soon fleeing before the infuriated fellows.
Possessed with the idea that their pursuers were in much greater forcethan they really were, the scared wretches made for the gates of thecity, out of which they ran as hard as they could. Bill, the General,wisely allowed them to pass through his lines, which they did in themaddest terror, and then fled far away over the plain, as the besiegingforces once more closed in around the city.
Seeing that the gates still remained open, Bill now marshalled hisgallant army, and in one grand procession led them into the city.
AND PACKED HIM OFF TO PERSIA]
In front of all solemnly marched the General; then the Real Soldier;then the Merchant's Wife; then the Sicilian Char-woman, proudly wavingher flag; then followed a number of Bill's charges, the AncientMariner, the Doctor, Camp-followers, the Musician playing triumphantmusic on his concertina, more Camp-followers, the Respectable Gentleman,the Scout, the Wild Man, yet more Camp-followers, the Merchant, and,last of all, preceded by the graceful Triplets, came the proud and gladold King himself, wheeled in great state by the faithful Boadicea, andguarded by the principal policeman of Troutpeg. The nine stout sons ofCrispin, together with the remaining children, formed a guard of honour,extending from the city gates as far as the front door of the Palace,into which the excited and Royal old creature entered at last amid thecheers of his gallant followers.
His first act was to release the King of Persia, and after acceptingvery graciously his humble and sincere apologies for his unkindness, theclement old fellow gave him a good breakfast and packed him off toPersia. In a like kindly manner he treated the courtiers, after they hadall suitably begged his pardon; and the inhabitants, who came troopingback as soon as they heard how graciously the rightful King wasbehaving, one and all clamoured to shake the delighted old monarch bythe hand and pay their homage to him.
Thus, after all his trials and privations, this Royal and kindlycreature was restored to his throne. The crown was done up andbeautifully polished, and the old King once more crowned in great state.To show his gratitude to his brave and faithful followers he appointedthem all (with the exception of the Triplets, who soon returned toBlowdripping) to places of honour in his court. Thus:--
TROY BECAME THE HAPPIEST TOWN]
BILL, Commander-in-chief of the Army. THE REAL SOLDIER, General under Bill. THE SCOUT, Officer of the Army. NINE SONS OF CRISPIN, Bodyguard to the King. THE CAMP-FOLLOWERS AND OTHERS, The Army. BOADICEA, Royal Housekeeper. ANCIENT MARINER, Admiral of the Fleet. SICILIAN CHAR-WOMAN, Head Char-woman to Royal Household. THE MERCHANT'S WIFE, Superintendent of the Prison. THE DOCTOR, Court Physician. PTOLEMY JENKINSON, King's Valet. RESPECTABLE GENTLEMAN, Master of Good Behaviour to the Royal Household. LONG MAN, Hall Porter at Royal Palace. MUSICIAN, Court Musician. WILD MAN, Park Keeper. POLICEMAN, Preserver of the Peace.
With such a gallant court and brave army around him the dear old man wassaved from further troubles in his State during the remainder of hislong and happy reign. In fact Troy became the very happiest town in theworld, and the old King's noble followers were so contented with theirlot that they never again left the city of Troy.
THE END]
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Transcriber's Notes
Illustrations have been moved, when they interrupted paragraphs in theoriginal. The list of illustrations has retained the page references inthe original book.
The only intentional changes to the text are the following correctionsto typographical or printer's errors:
Page 25 deleted hyphen in 'cocoa-nut' (the slabs of cocoanut ice)
Page 149 added missing quotation mark at end of the paragraph (...mygreat courage and astute generalship.')
Page 247: Missing closing single quote added (to make just a littlepudding for himself.')
Bill the Minder Page 17