by Callie Vegas
Stopping, I look at her. I hear a gasp from the guests. I don’t turn to look at them because I’m shocked by what Katie just said. “Really? Now you’re telling me this.”
There are a couple of chairs scaping as some of the guest move, I can see one or two standing to the side of Katie glare at us, wondering what the hell is going on.
“Calm down. It’s just you’ve always been safe. Jeremy’s safe. Paul is not safe, he’s a challenge and something that you should’ve done a long time ago. Do you want safe or do you want exciting, Joss? That’s your decision to make in the next ten steps.”
Taking a deep breath I decide that I do want safe. Safe is good. Safe is predictable. We both face the front and resume walking up to meet Jeremy. He has a frown on his face because we stopped and when I finally make it to the top of the aisle, everyone sits down except for me, Jeremy, Katie and Saul. Saul’s staring at me and I can’t help but look at him too.
Jeremy leans over and says, “You look beautiful today, babe,” before he kisses me on the cheek.
Beautiful? Is that all? I want to look stunning. I want him to look at me like he can’t wait to ravish me later. I want him to look at me the way Saul is looking at me. Like he wants to lay me on the table in front of the window and fuck me every which way. That’s how I want my husband-to-be to look at me. But he doesn’t.
Both Katie and Saul step back, but don’t sit down.
The officiant takes both my hand and Jeremy’s hand and turns us to face each other, she stands in between us.
“Welcome everyone to the union of Jeremy and Josslyn, we have gathered here in this blessed room to share their special day. Everyone here means something to either the bride or the groom.”
I look at Saul and then at Katie. I notice Jeremy glances at Saul too.
“Now before we continue with the ceremony, I am required by law to ask if anyone in the room has any lawful impediment why these two-beautiful people can’t be married. Speak now or forever hold your peace.”
It’s funny, when I’ve been at weddings as a guest, this part almost seems comical. It’s like you’re waiting for someone to run into the room and shout out that they love either the bride or groom and that they shouldn’t get married. I look at the doors expecting something, but not sure what. Glancing over at Saul he looks at me with sadness in his eyes.
Jeremy looks remorseful, but no one says anything.
“Thank goodness for that. I always hate that bit,” the officiant says. “Right, we just need to say the vows and we can get on with the service. Jeremy, can you say your vows first.” She smiles at him.
He looks at her, smiles and then looks at me. I notice his smile for me doesn’t reach his eyes. The tension in the room is almost unbearable.
“I, Jeremy Wilson, take…take…” he stops talking. I’m sure I can see beads of sweat on his forehead. He’s gone pale and I wonder for a second is he going to pass out. I start to reach out for him, but he paralyzes me with his next words. “Fuck! I’m sorry, Jo, but I can’t do this. I don’t love you like that, I never have.”
I can’t even speak. It feels like my throat is closing over. Did I hear him right? Did he just tell me he doesn’t want to marry me?
Katie’s words drift into my ear from behind me. “What the fuck does that mean, Jeremy? Why are you telling her this now?”
My head is spinning. After the long walk down the aisle, feeling hot and staring at Saul, I can’t cope anymore and I sink slowly to the floor. Not because I’m upset, I’m not, but because I’m speechless. He doesn’t love me? I suppose if I thought about it I knew that, but we had something between us.
“I’m…I’m in love with someone else.” My head whips up to look at Jeremy as he makes such a bold statement.
The guests all gasp. Saul walks towards me to help me up while my friends close ranks around me having left their seats.
Saul’s fingers reach out to touch me and it feels like my whole body is on fire. “Joss.” His words are spoken softly and with care, the way one would talk to a skittish horse.
I need him to hold me. I just need him.
Before I get my wish, my friends push him aside and take my arms to help me up.
“Hang on wait a minute.” Katie faces up to Jeremy, her eyes blazing. “If you don’t love Joss then who do you love? Is she here?” She turns to the guests, her gaze intent and her words hard. “Are you out there? If you are, don’t be a chicken. Let’s talk about how you’re breaking my friend’s heart right now.”
I reach out to stop her. I’m not interested in seeing this other woman. Not interested in how pretty she is, or how thin. How she is everything I am not. “It’s not worth it. I’m fine. Just get me out of here.” Katie stares at me long and hard while possibly working out if I’m on the edge of a meltdown – strangely I’m not.
“Yes. The person I love is here,” Jeremy says, his voice heavy. I cringe hearing his words. I don’t think he’s going to let me out of here without his confession. The thought of hearing about his deceit makes my blood boil and race in my veins.
I stand up straight and glare at him. “Who is it?” I grind out.
Jeremy’s cheeks turn red and he glances over to Saul. Maybe he knows who it is. I stand there waiting for one of them to speak, but they remain silent. Something passes between them. Saul shakes his head and closes his eyes, when he opens them he has disgust written across his face. What the fuck is going on here?
“I’m in love with Saul. I have been for about ten years.” Everyone gasps and turn to look at him. He’s turned bright red and his mouth is wide open as if he wants to say something and can’t.
I walk towards the door intending to get out as quick as I can. It’s funny how the walk back down the aisle is so much quicker than the one I made only a few minutes ago.
I pause at the exit when I hear his voice. “I told you six years ago I don’t have those feelings for you. You should have dealt with them back then, not now when you have a beautiful woman stood in front of you. You told me a week ago...”
I tune it out. I don’t want to hear anymore. I leave it all behind me and make a beeline straight to the bar.
There are a few funny looks as we enter the bar—me in my wedding dress and my friends with their angry faces. But I don’t care. “Give us champagne and keep it coming. Oh and charge it to room three fifty-two.”
The barman looks us over but then serves us with no questions. He nods once and says, “You might want to use a booth and I’ll keep the drinks flowing.”
“Thanks.” I find a booth that faces the window overlooking the garden and march over to it to take a seat. It’s the same view as the wedding room.
The girls sit down with me and no one says anything for a while.
“What the fuck just happened?” Ash asks, shaking her head.
“I think my husband-to-be is in love with the man I had a one-night stand with.”
I can’t believe I just said those words.
It doesn’t seem real.
With a shake of my head I shut my emotions away. All I want to think about is getting drunk and forgetting today ever happened.
“How the fuck did that happen?” Ash can’t quick believe it either.
“I don’t know,” Lena sounds as confused as the rest of us. “But it sure is suspicious. Do you think Saul planned it as revenge on Jeremy? Is Jeremy really gay?” Lena asks the obvious question of the day.
“I don’t know, but I don’t want to talk to either of them. They can go play their kinky games somewhere else.” I’m distracted by the barman putting down the ice bucket with champagne. He hand’s over four flutes.
“Just hold the bottle in the air and then turn it upside down in the ice bucket when you want more ladies. That douchebag is going to be paying a hefty bar bill today.” The barman winks. “And, if you need company later, just let me know.” We watch him walk as we sit in silence.
The four of us look at each other and start to la
ugh and then we clink our glasses together. “I stand to make a toast.” I say and hold up my glass. “Here’s to being single and horny.”
5
Saul
“What the fuck, Jeremy?” I stride over to him. “Why did you do that?”
“I love you Saul. I can’t hide it any longer.” He tries to step towards me, but I move back. I don’t want him anywhere near me. He makes me sick.
“But not at your wedding, man, in front of family and friends. You’re a fucking asshole, do you know that?”
He reaches out and touches me on the arm, but I shirk away. “Wait, I want to talk to you about this,” he says, reaching out and grabbing my arm again.
“I don’t want to talk to you about it, Jeremy. You’ve just broken that girl’s heart. Someone has to put the pieces back together again.”
Jeremy still doesn’t let go of my arm. “Let go Jeremy,” I say through gritted teeth.
“No, I want you and I want everyone to know it. I know you love me too.”
I turn to face him, raise my right arm and punch him in the face. “That’s for not listening to me six years ago.” The snap of cartilage in his nose is audible as my fist connects with his face again. “That’s for lying and telling me you’d spoken to Jo and told her you were gay. And this,” I say pulling my arm back for the last time. “That’s for being a fucking asshole and letting that amazing woman walk out of your life with no care for her whatsoever.” I’m so angry that if I don’t leave now I’m sure I’ll be put away for murder.
I turn away from the idiot who was once my best friend and stride back down the aisle to find Joss.
I need to speak to her.
She’s hard to find, I can’t see her, or her friends, in the reception. The receptionist smiles at me and points towards the bar. As I walk in I hear them over by the window. I get to their booth just as I hear Joss say, “Here’s to being single and horny.”
Leaning over the booth I quip, “I can help you with that.”
“Fuck off Saul. You played me all along didn’t you?” She’s angry and stands up with her hands on her hips. What the fuck? Why is she angry with me?
“What’re you talking about?” I ask confused. My head tilts to one side and I stare at her.
Does she think I did this to her?
“You knew I was having my bachelorette party in Vegas. Jeremy must have told you. You must have arranged to seduce me. Was this funny to you? Did you get a laugh out of it?”
She’s so angry, but it just turns me on. I watch as her ears turn red with her anger. Her cheeks warm to the color that they were when she cried out in ecstasy. Her breathing speeds up and reminds me of being between her legs, licking her pussy. I know I have to stop thinking of that night, but I can’t.
“No, I didn’t know who you were. Jeremy calls you Jo, you told me your name was Joss. I wanted you from the first moment I saw you because you’re beautiful and you do something to me that no one has done to me before.” My words strike a chord as she seems to calm down and her blush deepens.
“I don’t want to talk to you, Saul. Fuck off and leave me alone. I can’t deal with this right now.” She sits back down and takes another drink.
Katie stands up as if she is going to come closer to me and to be honest she looks like she could thump me.
Before she can take one step I lift my hands in the air as a sign of surrender and I say, “I’m leaving, I’m leaving, but I’ll be talking to you tomorrow. I’m going back to Vegas, but I’ll find you and you’re going to listen to me, Joss.”
Katie sits down and Joss looks up at me. I think she’s going to say something, but she doesn’t.
I know when I’m not wanted, so I turn and walk out of the bar. I manage to grab a cab quick enough so that I don’t have to see any of the other guests. I’m embarrassed that anyone would think that I would love Jez or even break up his wedding like that. I just need to get home. The cab doesn’t take long and when I get in the door I search out a bottle of vodka and start drinking.
What a clusterfuck.
When the front door opens, Mom walks in. “What the heck happened today, Saul?”
“You were there. You know as much as I do!” I grunt taking another swig of my drink.
She sits down on the seat next to mine. Obviously I’m not going to be given space. I sigh and rub a hand down my face. I’m tired, the flight followed by all this drama…
“I’ve known that Jeremy’s gay for years.” I say. “The last time I was home he tried to kiss me and I told him I wasn’t interested. I haven’t been home since then because I didn’t want to face him. When he told me he was getting married I assumed he had turned himself around and wasn’t gay anymore – if that’s a thing. I don’t know.” Pouring myself another vodka, I see mom getting up to fetch a glass for herself, then she sits and holds it out for me to pour some for her too.
“Go on, son,” she says taking a sip.
“Just over a week ago he basically told me that although he loved Joss, he wasn’t in love with her. He told me she wasn’t pretty, didn’t look after herself and that she was lucky to be marrying him. He said he hadn’t slept with her but would try to on his wedding night just to get it over with. He hoped she wouldn’t want to do it again. I told him he was a douchebag and that I wouldn’t come to the wedding if he didn’t talk to her about it. He then rang me the other day and told me he’d spoken to her and she was happy to marry him. I wasn’t convinced but thought it would be okay.”
“Then he set you up with that stunt at the wedding today. He thought that he’d use you as an excuse for not marrying Josslyn. So why did you help her up off the floor? It looked like you knew her.” Mom asks, her face lined with confusion.
“I met her a couple of weeks ago at her bachelorette party. I didn’t know who she was and, let’s just say we had a magical night that I still haven’t forgotten.”
“Wow, so let me get this straight. Jeremy’s gay. He’s in love with you, yet you’re in love with his fiancé?” She takes another swig of her drink and holds it out for more.
I splash the vodka into the glass. “Yes that’s about it. Joss won’t talk to me now, she thinks I set her up, but I didn’t even know who she was.”
“Okay son, we have to put this right. Are you sure you want her? Is she the right woman for you?”
“Abso-fucking-lutely!” I say with conviction.
Three hours later Mom puts me in a cab back to the hotel. We’ve talked about Joss, about Jeremy, and what I want for hours.
I’m wrecked.
After I pay the cab I walk straight past reception and head to the bar. I need to find my woman.
There’s a lot of noise in the bar, but it’s not hard to find her. She’s still sat there in her wedding dress. I see the wedding cake on the table too and it looks like everyone has had a piece of it.
Katie sees me approach and stands up, walking over to me to catch me before I get too close to Joss.
“What do you want, Paul?”
“My name is Saul. I want to talk to Joss.”
“No can do, she’s busy right now.” She looks over at Joss who’s laughing with some dude.
“I really need to talk to her. I need to make sure she understands that I really didn’t know who she was. I wanted to find her and hoped she’d walk back into my club, and every night I was disappointed when she didn’t.”
“That’s a nice speech and one you’ve obviously rehearsed. She’s busy. Maybe she might talk to you tomorrow,” she says as she walks away.
As I stand there and watch Joss chatting with the guys sat around their table, I feel something I’ve never felt before. Jealousy. I want to go over and punch their heads. I want to go all caveman and grab her, put her over my shoulder, and carry her to my room. I smile thinking about what she might do if I did that.
Joss laughs, throwing her head back, and that’s when she sees me. Instantly she stops laughing and just stares at me. A variety of emotions
flood her eyes. She wants me, she can’t hide that, but behind that is a flicker of genuine anger. Maybe tonight isn’t the best night for me to talk to her, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let someone else take what’s mine. Because she is mine. I’m sure of it. Now I just need to convince her.
I move closer to the bar, where she can’t see me, but I can still see her. I’ll keep an eye on her from a distance, just in case she needs me.
I nurse two drinks all night, having drunk loads earlier with Mom. One by one I see her friends leave with one of the guys, leaving Joss and two of them behind. I move closer to their table, she shouldn’t be left on her own after the amount of drink she’s had.
“So, sweetheart, do you want to come to our room and finish the party?” One of them says. I growl, but wait to see how she replies.
“I don’t think so. I think I just need to go to bed.” She sounds tired, it’s been a long and stressful day for her.
“That’s what we’re talking about, sweetheart.”
“No, on my own,” she says it too quietly and I know that she’s upset.
“We’ll walk you back to your room then. Don’t want you falling down anywhere.” He laughs and I can hear him standing up.
There is no chance I can sit here and watch her walk back to her room with two guys, who clearly want to fuck her.
Standing up in front of them, I say, “Babe, there you are! Come on we need to find the honeymoon suite. I can’t believe you’ve been hiding from me all day.” I hope she cottons on to what I’m doing, because if not then she’s going to punch me and go back to their room out of spite.
It takes a few seconds before she says, “I didn’t think you were going to come for me.” She turns to the two guys, “Sorry but this man has made me a promise that he needs to keep.”
As the two guys look like they’re going ut I step in between them. “Thanks for looking after her for me. Come on babe.”
They give up and walk away. I turn to face her just as her punch lands on my face. I guess I deserve it.
