Chapter 6
When Nicole took off I went back into the house and thought about the future. In my mind it seemed strange, in a way, what Nicole and I were contemplating. I wondered, would she call me and say it was all a big joke? I doubted that since the last time I thought such a thing about her I wound up in the woods with a blood drenched knife in my hands. A new dimension in my life, or maybe an old one, seemed to be approaching.
I had to put thoughts of Nicole and Daniel out of my mind for now. I had not looked at my e-mail while Nicole had been visiting, and I was anxious to see what I had received. I had over a dozen e-mails from Sara – she seemed confused over the situation between us and she apologized in each mail. I decided that I did not want to burn bridges with her, and that my anger was getting me nowhere. While I did not intend on our relationship to be permanent anymore, I was not anxious for it to end just yet. Maybe I needed to see if Sara in reality was the one for me after all. I figured I should leave my options open.
I called Sara. She seemed overjoyed to hear from me and asked me to forgive her for not being there in my time of need. I asked if we could have dinner soon, to which she agreed. She then asked, “So when are you planning to move in with me?” I replied that I needed some space at the moment and wanted to take things slightly slower. She replied, “Oh, okay…I see then.” I did not want her to assume our relationship had ended. I asked if she might like the idea of me coming over and spending a few days with her – her voice immediately switched to a more happier tone.
In any case, I had given my landlord notice I was moving. I had very little to pack, but I was unsure whether I should just move in with Sara or put everything in storage temporarily. The latter option seemed the most wise to follow. I grabbed my things and carefully locked up what was now my house. I knew I would be back soon, but for now I would head back to Seattle.
When I arrived I went straight to Sara’s apartment. Had I forgiven her? Not really, but throwing out my relationship would be as illogical as my breaking of the crystal I had received from her. When I knocked on the door she threw her arms around me and told me how much she had missed me. I said I had missed her too. She apologized for not being there for me and asked how I was holding up – I said it was painful but I was managing. We sat on the couch a while and talked about the funeral, of course I never mentioned Nicole.
We ate a marvellous dinner she had prepared for me. She had gone all out and placed candles all over the house and said Swedes love decorating with candles. She did not mention anything about the future; she just appeared to be trying to feel things out to get a bearing on how we stood in the present. I got up after the dinner and offered to help her with the dishes. She said she would appreciate that but as we both stood up I took her by the hand and asked if the dishes could wait a while. Nothing else mattered at that moment – I craved connection and apparently she did as well. Yet what felt awkward was that while Sara and I were making out on the couch, and later in the bedroom, I kept getting images of Nicole flashing into my head. This had never happened before, but I just assumed that my memories of Nicole had been resurrected due to our time together the past few days.
The next morning I awoke when Sara got up to get ready for her classes. She noticed I was waking up and greeted me with an incredibly passionate kiss and looked at me as if she were going to cry with happiness. When I smiled and gently brushed her hair back she smiled back and then the tears started to flow from her eyes. I reached for my blouse on the floor and dried her face. She then asked if I wanted to wait for her, and that she would be home just after lunch. I said that would be a great idea. She took her key out of her purse and handed it to me and said that later she would ask the apartment manager to make a duplicate for when I moved in. She kissed me and said goodbye as she rushed out the door.
I went back to bed, the last few days had exhausted me and I would soon fall asleep again. Yet before I passed out I thought about what she said – about moving in. Was she just assuming that everything was back to normal? I noticed the twin to the rose I had destroyed was sitting on her bookshelf. I guess in her mind she was still dreaming of us graduating and moving together to San Francisco, or Sweden, and living happily ever after. I pondered that future – in a way it felt more natural than when we first got together. Perhaps I should just give it a try – it certainly beat a lifetime of loneliness and Sara and I did enjoy each other’s company. And unlike Nicole, Sara was open to raising children together. Yet part of me was still angry with her. Could I forgive what she had done to me? Then I wondered if my grudge was worth being alone. However, as I pondered the idea of growing old together with her, while not out of the question, it just did not touch me as my destiny for some reason.
One thing that really bothered me as I contemplated the future was what might come up in just a few weeks. If Nicole and I failed there could be two horrible consequences – Daniel could see through our plan and we might be the ones at the bottom of some lake. More likely it would be me though since he might be willing to let his wife off, but me? He would probably enjoy drowning me with his bare hands. The other bad scenario would be that the police figure out what we did – and we get arrested for Daniel’s murder. I wondered what Sara would think! Would she visit me in prison after that? She would be the only one as I assumed…my aunt would just tell whoever she was with that day that she always figured there was something wrong with her niece.
I decided I would spend as much time with Sara as I could until I heard back from Nicole. Who knew what would happen after that? Maybe Nicole and I would pull off the murder and then be able to be best friends again. If Sara and I did get married at least she could be my bridesmaid. It was an odd way to look at the future but it could happen. And if it did happen, Nicole would most certainly be able to be my bridesmaid – even though we would have killed her husband.
The next day, just after Sara went off to class, I received an e-mail from Nicole. She left a phone number and asked me to call at 11:00am. I drove over to my apartment to call her – I did not want Sara to know anything of what was transpiring. Nicole answered, “Hello Melanie, how are you?” I told her I was fine and she burst into tears, “I wish I could say the same thing, Daniel did nothing but grill me about what we did while I was with you. I was almost scared to ask him about you coming down.” I asked, “Well? What is the plan?” She responded, “He said it was okay for you to come and visit. He said he had some questions he wanted to ask you though.” I wondered what he was wanting from me, but Nicole had no specific idea except perhaps maybe my assuring him I was not going to let our secret out.
“So you want me to plan for the last week of May then?” She replied, “Yes and we can do everything we talked about at the springs, okay?” I said I was willing if she was.
So Daniel was no longer part of the hunting pack but was being stalked as prey. I almost felt sorry for him. After all, I still felt a connection to him, but his crime against me was too severe to ignore – he killed Mark to satisfy his own selfish desire for revenge, and for that he would pay. Also, how he treated Nicole was bad, not deserving of death perhaps, but it did give a certain urgency to the execution of our plan.
It was now even more important that I wrap up a lot of loose ends before going to California. I met with my professors and made sure everything was okay for my leave of absence. Whatever projects I was working on could either be completed independently, or finished when I felt like returning. While Sara was busy in school I moved my things into a storage unit – I did not inform Sara since I was not sure how things would turn out. However, Sara and I spent some very wonderful and romantic time together. As the departure day approached for me to take off to California, I told her that I needed some time to reflect on our relationship, as well as spend time in Portland taking care of unfinished business. She wondered if she could come down and visit, but I asked if I could be alone for a while and she reluctantly agreed. She was obviously worried about what would happen
if we were apart, that we could drift away from each other, but I tried to re-assure her that we had a destiny together. And at that very moment I was warming to the idea of permanency with her – but old scores had to be settled before I could devote more attention to this relationship.
The day I left Seattle was somewhat sad. Sara cried that morning but even then she was stressed about getting to class on time. I found that irritating! Here was someone who said she wanted to spend her life with me, yet was rushing me out the door so she would not be late. Even as we kissed goodbye I could feel her anxiety towards not being delayed.
As I drove off I looked at the mountains and wondered if I would ever see them again. I was confident we could pull this off, but there was always the chance that something could go wrong – so I took mental pictures the whole day as I drove through Washington and Oregon. Yet something else weighed on my mind. I was actually feeling a sense of relief to be away from Sara! As I drove the long expanse of Interstate 5 I tried to analyze my whole situation with her. Did I want Nicole? Was this actually the reason I had agreed on taking Daniel out of the picture? Yet at the same time Sara was a sure bet – and she shared my desire for a family. Of course I would have to get used to being the “wife” in such a relationship, but maybe that was not so bad. Maybe this whole trip was actually a mistake, but as I crossed the border into California I realized that there was no turning back now. Oh sure, I could turn around, that was always an option, but in a real sense there was no way I was going to change course. I was going to see this through.
I stayed in some small town overnight – I really hate roadside hotels with their clientele of tired tourists, truckers, hookers, and the like. I just considered myself lucky some drug dealer had not accidentally taken a shot at someone and the bullet pierce the wall and hit me. I was happy to leave just as the sun was rising above the horizon. After looking over my directions one more time, I realized I could be at Nicole’s place by early afternoon if I tried.
A feeling deep inside seemed to be telling me that the next few days would change the direction of my life forever. I felt excitement at setting a wrong right. Some say vengeance is a bad thing, yet that seemed so odd since it was a desire that all people possess – no matter how well they pretend to repress it. In a way Daniel would be a far greater prize in terms of the challenge – as well as the emotional connection of hate I felt towards him. It really only occurred to me as I progressed to my goal that soon he would be my trophy, the second serial killer that I had a part in killing, and just as deserving of death as anyone else I had dispatched from this life.
When I took the final exit on Nicole’s directions I took several deep breaths and prepared to put on the performance of my life. As I approached the neighborhood they lived in I thought “how depressing” as the homes were not well kept. The laws were full of dried-out weeds and un-kept little children were dashing about without any adult supervision. There were of course the aimless young men staring at me as I drove slowly down the street, trying to avoid hitting any child who might run out into the road. It was a warm, humid day and even rolling down my windows did not help as the air felt stagnant and heavy. Of course there was no way I would jog in a place like this – too dangerous! That really bugged me as my legs were feeling stiff from all the driving.
I noticed Nicole’s car parked in the driveway of an old yellow duplex. I parked behind her and ventured to her door. On the way several little kids in the adjoining yard came up to me and greeted me in a language that I could not even venture a guess as to its origins. A woman poked her head out of the window of the adjoining unit and yelled something which caused the children to turn and run away from me. I knocked...somewhat worried that Daniel would be the one to open the door. However, I heard his muffled voice from inside call to Nicole, “Hey! I think she’s here so can you let her in?”
Nicole opened the door and greeted me. She smiled, but did not venture any personal contact. She asked if I had a nice drive and invited me in. I saw Daniel twist around in his chair in front of the living room TV to face me. I said, “Hi Daniel, how are you?” He merely said, “Fine, I see you made it safe.” He surprised me by then turning around and resuming watching some sports program. I guess exercise was not part of his life anymore as I could tell he had packed on at least twenty pounds since the wedding. He then called out, “Feel free to get something to drink in the fridge, we have soda, milk and beer.” Nicole directed me into the kitchen, a rather bleak room with scratched linoleum, panelling on the wall that was worn out and peeling, and a sink full of dishes. I hoped that we would be eating out most of the time.
It would be impossible to communicate with Nicole at all with Daniel so close by. I immediately asked if she could come with me to suggest a good hotel to stay at while I visited. Daniel yelled from the living room, “Melanie, I can give you directions if you like but hey, if you think you might get lost then go ahead and take Nicole. And if you two can pick up something on the way back for dinner I would certainly appreciate it.” Nicole looked in his direction as if puzzled, but I poked her on the arm and motioned for her to go outside. She jumped, as if she were on edge, and nodded.
We got in the car and headed back to the highway. She seemed so tense that she hardly uttered a word during the short drive. Soon we came to a hotel that made the one I had stayed at the night before seemed luxurious, but at least it was close. I took a room for the next several days and Nicole volunteered to get my luggage. When I opened the door the room was clean, but certainly not the most pleasant place to stay. I was also glad my car was fully insured, having to park in this place for several days.
Nicole came in and placed my luggage down. She asked, “Did you feel the bad vibes there?” I answered, “You mean around Daniel? How could I not?” Nicole then surprised me, “Melanie, I have some good news, Daniel agreed to take us out on the lake tomorrow night! His friend is letting us borrow his boat so we have only a short time to make this work.”
This was indeed a surprise. I guess I had figured it would take a few days to ease into this, but this was going to be a rush job. Though this caused me some worry Nicole said she would explain everything as she directed me to sit down. Suddenly her mood shifted to what one could describe as energetic as she laid out her plan, “Okay Melanie, here is how it will work. We will go out after dinner when it cools down, Daniel hates this California heat. Generally he likes to be out on the water for a while and then have a few beers and watch the sunset. Once the sun goes down I will hand him the whisky bottle with the tranquilizers. When he starts drinking hard liquor he generally doesn’t stop until he almost passes out – I have had to steer a boat back to shore many times. The combination of the alcohol and drugs will certainly be enough to knock him out cold and then? Well, we only have to toss him in. There is no way he will be able to stay above water for long, if at all. Then it’s rest in peace.”
She then sighed and continued, “Melanie, I know you don’t drink, but here you have to make a sacrifice. We all have to have to appear like we were partying together when the police arrive. Are you okay with that…just this once?” I did not like the idea of drinking, but it seemed a good idea for the situation. As for the rest of her plan I liked her ideas, even though everything seemed too simple. I was used to elaborate plans but then in the past when we did not want the body found. Here it was essential his body be found and that his lungs would be filled with water, and his bloodstream would contain alcohol and prescription tranquilizers
We agreed the next day would be the end of Daniel. Now it was time to grab something at the store and prepare dinner. Nicole warned that Daniel might not be very nice to me but when we got back to the house he just seemed distant. I tried to ask him questions to get conversations going but with little success. He seemed to put up with me for Nicole’s sake. Soon after dinner I said I was tired and suggested to Nicole we go shopping the next day. Daniel told her to go right ahead but reminded her that they were short on mone
y that month.
There was something going on between Nicole and Daniel, something under the surface, but I just could not figure out what it was. I did not believe that it was just my being there, there was more, but what was it? Was he feeling guilty for killing Mark? Did my presence remind him of his selfishness and brutality to someone who did not deserve it? Maybe I would find out the next day I thought.
The next day Nicole seemed strangely happy, not what one would expect from someone who was technically still a newlywed and who was planning on being a widow before the day was over. She smiled and she seemed carefree as we browsed the mall in a much better section of town. I asked, “Are you sure this is going to work?” She responded, “It has to” and continued looking around with me. She came to a jewellery store and pointed at various expensive items, “Do you like this, or how about this one?” She had an energy that I had not seen in her for a long time – again, really ironic.
We talked a while but, as in high school, we were careful how we worded our conversation in public. She said she had to stop by the liquor store and get everything set up. I asked if there was any part of her that still loved Daniel – she closed her eyes and said that when she married him she liked him a lot, but she was not in love with him. However, in the last few months she had gone through the phases of dislike, apathy and now fear as she had no idea what he was capable of anymore. I asked if he had ever hit her – she said he had slapped her once, had yanked on her quite a few times, but mostly he was just verbally abusive. I thought that was sad considering what she had said of her father always yelling at her and her mom.
That evening Daniel barbequed some chicken. It was a nice dinner, but just as he had been during the previous dinner he was distant. I avoided anything but the simplest of small talk, the last thing I wanted to do was make him angry and cancel the boat trip. At around 6pm he asked Nicole to get the cool chest, it was time to go to the lake.
Melanie's Awakening Page 7
