4 Go to Dumdumland

by Patrick Edgeworth

So there they are drifting upwards, each in their own bubble. Mia looks down between her feet. Oops! The ground is getting further and further away. Not that heights bother her.

  But a question does pop into her head. Questions are like that. Without knocking, they burst in and want all your attention. Like a three year old sister asking you to read her a story when you’re in the middle of something really, really important, such as texting your best friend what you’re doing right now.

  So there is the Question in Mia’s head demanding an answer. And she notices the words “How are we going to get down?” floating over her head. And that’s just what she is thinking. “How did that happen?” she wonders.

  “How are we going to get down?” vanishes and “How did that happen?” appears in its place.

  “Wow!” says Mia. She always says “Wow!” when she is flabbergasted. Mainly because she has no idea what flabbergasted means. And, even if she did, wow is a lot quicker to say. And easier to spell. And everybody knows what it means. Whereas with flabbergasted you have to explain to people it means Gobsmacked. And when they look at you clueless you have to go on and say Gobsmacked means surprised. Like, totally. Which she is now. Wow!

  Mia realises what Roland Rat meant when he said “Thinks Bubbles”. They are like the bubbles over people’s heads in comics showing what they are thinking. She peers out at the other bubbles to see what is on everyone’s minds.

  Over Sami’s head she can see the words: “A fairy! A fairy!”

  Mia looks down but she can’t see a fairy. “It’s a butterfly!” appears over her head.

  “No, it’s a fairy! I love Fairies.” pops up over Sami’s.

  “We all love Fairies,” thinks Mia. “But that’s a Butterfly.”

  Freddie has other things on his mind. “Pirates! Where are the Pirates?”

  And over Claudie’s head it says: “Snakes! Snakes! I want jelly snakes.”

  They wave at each other as they drift upwards, reading each other’s thoughts. All except Claudie, of course, who is too young to read. Though, ever since she could crawl, she can look at yummy stuff like ice cream wrappers and sweet packets and pick which is which without any trouble.

  “This is so fun” appears over Mia’s head. But it isn’t enough fun for Freddie. He’s worked out that if he walks inside his bubble it goes forward. And if he runs it goes faster and faster. This is more like it. He hurtles his bubble into Sami’s. Boom! And they both bounce away, laughing.

  Can you guess what words appear over Freddie’s head? No you can’t, because there aren’t any. You might think something would be there showing what he is thinking. But if you think that you don’t know boys. Rather than think they like to do stuff. Such as bouncing their bubble into other people’s.

  In a moment they are all at it, bumping and bouncing, bouncing and bumping. Freddie bounces so hard, he accidentally lets out a fart. Which makes its presence known. And it’s not nice. “Yuck”, he thinks. And the word appears over his head. But it can’t stand the smell either and slumps over.

  Freddie wonders if he can poke a hole in the bubble to let some air in. But realises he can’t. Put a hole in a bubble and it goes pop and disappears for ever.

  Meanwhile, his sisters are bumping into him, so he starts bumping back. They are having so much fun they don’t realise how far above the ground they are.

  Another Question pops up in Mia’s head and demands she deals with it right now: “What if all this bumping bursts the bubbles? And we all fall to the ground. And get all squashed to bits.”

  The words appear over her head for the others to read.

  “We’d better stop now,” says Mia’s bubble.

  “No way,” says Freddie’s.

  “Don’t be a spoilsport” says Sami’s.

  “It’s alright for you,” says Mia’s, “I’m the one who will get into trouble if we all end up dead. I’ll be grounded for weeks.”

  “If the bubble bursts we’ll all be grounded. Grounded into the earth” says Sami’s bubble.

  “Ha-ha,” says Mia’s bubble. “Very funny! Not!”

  And then the Rat appears. There he is, Roland himself, drifting up towards them in a bubble.

  “What does he want?” appears over Mia’s head.

  “Who’d want to miss all the fun.” appears over the Rat’s head.

  “Bouncing is so fun,” appears above Sami.

  “Bouncing is fun, too,” says the words over the Rat’s head.

  “Too?” says Mia’s words. “What does he mean, too? Is there something else he thinks is fun?

  And then she can see what. The Flying Pig is heading straight for them, flapping its wings and holding a very sharp pine needle. If the end of that needle touches a bubble it will burst. And whoever is inside would fall to the earth with a terrible Crash! The Pig can’t be thinking of doing that, can he? Yes, he can.

  But Mia is the only one who realise the danger. The others are having too much fun bouncing off each other.

  The pig glides around trying to decide who would be his first victim. Should it be Mia or Sami or Freddie or Claudie? Claudie is nearest so he flies straight for her.

  “No way!” appears over Mia’s head and she runs and runs on the spot, sending her bubble hurtling forward into the Pig. Wham! The Flying Pig gave a squeal of surprise and stops flapping its wings. So what happens? Does it drop like a stone? No. More like a Pig who has stopped flapping its wings.

  “O-o-o-w!” it yells as it heads in the direction of down.

  The smile on the Rat’s face disappears. As smiles tend to do. You never know where you are with smiles. The slightest thing and they’re gone. But this one quickly returns when the Rat sees the Pig flap its wings again. In a moment it is flying back towards the children, the needle ready.

  “Help! Everyone!” says the words over Mia’s head. And the others see Mia running towards the Pig as fast as she can.

  Bang! Mia rams into his side.

  Bang! Freddie bangs into his other side.

  Bang! Sami slams into his snout.

  And Claudie has a go, too. She can’t read Mia’s thoughts, but if the others are banging into a pig, that is good enough for her. And she bangs him in the bum.

  The Pig is so dizzy he doesn’t know what he is doing, and flies into the Rat’s bubble…and pops it by mistake. So there is the Rat, bubbleless. And a long way from the ground.

  “Not a good look,” thinks the Rat as he starts to fall. And he grabs for something to save him. And that is the Pig’s twirly tail.

  “Ow!” cries the pig. “Ow! Ow! Ow!”

  The Rat hangs on, the tail straightening with his weight, as he swings to and fro, like a furry little Tarzan.

  The Pig keeps flapping his little wings and slowly they rise. Soon they are back among the kids’ bubbles.

  “You know what you’ve got to do,” says the Rat, “Do it!”

  The pig flies straight at Sami and pops her bubble. Mia, Freddie and Claudie’s faces fall. Oh, no! Sami starts to fall. But she is no dummy and grabs for something to save herself.

  And that something is the Rat’s crumpled boot. And she hangs on tight. So there they are: Sami hanging on to the Rat. The Rat hanging on to the Pig. And the Pig frantically flapping its wings trying to stay up. But it needn’t worry.

  The Rat’s boot is old and loose and is slipping from his foot. And Sami with it. Soon she is tumbling over and over as she hurtles towards the ground, far, far below.

  CHAPTER EIGHT: The Fairy Forest