Bedlam

by Derek Landy

  “You’re going to take over, are you?” China asked. “That’s your big plan?”

  Abyssinia smiled. “That’s part of it. But I’m not actually here for me. I’m here because my son needed to come. For closure, as they say these days. Caisson, my dear, how are you feeling?”

  “As usual,” he muttered, “I’m conflicted. And a little overwhelmed. But, before we go on, hello, Valkyrie.”

  “Hi,” Valkyrie said back.

  “I don’t want to kill you,” he said. “I just want to be clear on that.”

  “I appreciate it.”

  “But you other three,” Caisson said, “you’re the three people I hate most in this world. I want to kill you. I want to kill you so incredibly violently.” His hands clenched into fists, then sprang open. “Skulduggery Pleasant: you murdered my mother. Serafina: you had me tortured for decades. You ensured that each moment was pure agony. And China. Oh, China. You’d protect me, would you? But you betrayed me. I really don’t know which one of you I want to kill more.”

  “Serafina,” Skulduggery and China said at the same time.

  “In fact,” Skulduggery continued, “I don’t think I should be on that list at all. Yes, I killed Abyssinia, but look. She got better.”

  “After a few hundred years of being a heart in a box,” Abyssinia said.

  “You’re standing here with us now, aren’t you?” Skulduggery said. “That’s the important thing.”

  “It’s all connected,” Caisson said to Skulduggery. “You made sure I grew up without a mother. You made sure that she raised me instead.” His eyes locked on to China. “You told me I was like a son to you. We pretended that I was your son. And then you handed me over to her.”

  “Finally,” said Serafina, “we get to me. I’m not going to deny what you’re saying, Caisson. I’m not going to make excuses. I had you tortured. The broken person you are today – you owe it all to me. And now I’m here to take you back.”

  “Oh,” Caisson said, “you are, are you?”

  “You killed Mevolent, you filthy little murderer. You killed my husband. I’m not done with you yet.”

  Caisson snarled and raised his hands, and Valkyrie stepped between them.

  “Don’t,” she said. “Don’t do this.”

  “Move out of the way, Valkyrie,” Caisson said. “I don’t want to hurt you, but I will if I have to.”

  “Abyssinia lied to you.”

  “Excuse me?” Abyssinia said.

  Valkyrie ignored her, and focused on Caisson. “Everyone’s lied to you. Everyone has treated you terribly. I can’t imagine what it must have been like to lose your mother. I can’t imagine having to pretend that you were someone else, that your mother was someone else. I’ve been told how you fell in love with Solace, and about how Serafina snatched her away. They told me how you sneaked back into Mevolent’s castle to rescue her. About how you were the one who killed Mevolent.” Valkyrie glanced at Abyssinia, and Abyssinia frowned. She looked back at Skulduggery, hesitated, then continued. “Abyssinia lied to you, Caisson. You were raised believing that Lord Vile was your father.”

  Caisson’s eyes narrowed. “Because he was. My mother and Lord Vile joined Mevolent’s army together. They were together. There was no one else.” He looked at Abyssinia. “Tell them.”

  Abyssinia didn’t appear to have heard him. Her eyes were on Valkyrie. “How did you know?”

  “How did she know what?” Caisson said. “Mother. How did she know what?”

  “You looked inside my mind,” Abyssinia said softly.

  Valkyrie blushed, like she’d been caught eavesdropping.

  Finally, Abyssinia looked at her son. “I did it to protect you.”

  Caisson took a step back. “What? What did you do?”

  “If the truth got out,” Abyssinia said, “you would have been hunted down. They wouldn’t have stopped until you were dead.”

  “Lord Vile is my father.”

  “No, Caisson. He isn’t.”

  Skulduggery tilted his head.

  “This is highly entertaining,” Serafina said, clearly loving every bit of it. “So who is the father?”

  “Caisson—”

  “Answer the question!” Caisson snarled. “If it isn’t Lord Vile, then who is it?”

  Abyssinia looked him dead in the eye, and gave a slow, wistful smile. “Joining Mevolent’s army was everything I had worked for my entire life. My father, the King of the Darklands, had practically raised him, had taught him everything he knew, and, as a reward, Mevolent killed him, and had my mother and my siblings killed also. He would have killed me, too, only I escaped. I was but a child. My heritage had been ripped from me. My destiny lay in tatters. I didn’t know what revenge was, but I knew I wanted it. It drove me. It consumed me.

  “When I encountered Lord Vile, I saw in him a weapon I could wield, and we happily joined the army of the man who had butchered my family, so that I could get close to him and, eventually, kill him, as he had killed my father and my entire family. In my naivety, I thought I could control Vile, have him pick off my enemies, my rivals in the Diablerie while I rose to the top. But Lord Vile could never be controlled. Not really. When I realised that, I knew I had to make other arrangements. I had to form new alliances. My friendship with China was one such alliance, but I had others. I had plenty of others.

  “The night of the feast, the night Lord Vile and I planned to kill Mevolent, was the culmination of all my scheming. I had finally, I thought, manoeuvred myself into a position where the others would accept me as their new leader. We would kill Mevolent, we would kill Serafina – and then I would take over. I would no longer be the Princess of the Darklands. Finally, I would be the Queen, and my family would be avenged.”

  Abyssinia’s smile grew shaky.

  “Mere hours before I was due to give Lord Vile the signal to attack, I discovered I was pregnant. This changed … everything. My destiny opened up before me. Instead of avenging my fallen family, I could start a new one. I could walk away, leave the hatred and the ambition and the anger behind me. I didn’t have time to tell Lord Vile about any of this, of course, and we all know what happened then.”

  “Far be it from me to point this out,” Serafina said, “but you still haven’t told us who the unfortunate father is.”

  “Have I not?” Abyssinia asked, frowning. “Oh. Forgive me. It was your husband, Serafina. It was Mevolent. In all my manoeuvring, it seems I manoeuvred a little too close to the man I hated beyond all others.”

  Serafina paled, and Caisson’s legs gave out. He fell to his knees and Abyssinia reached for him, but he slapped her hand away.

  “I’m sorry,” she responded. “If Mevolent had found out that he had a child, he would have had you slaughtered.”

  “But I killed him,” said Caisson. “I killed my own father.”

  Abyssinia didn’t have anything to say to that.

  “You’re lying,” Serafina whispered.

  “I do not lie,” said Abyssinia. There were tears in her eyes, but her tone was defiant.

  Serafina stormed across the room and Abyssinia went to meet her, and Nero appeared, sweating, stumbling to the floor.

  Razzia grabbed him, hauled him up. “Get us out of here,” she said. “Now.”

  Just before Serafina and Abyssinia collided, Abyssinia disappeared, along with Caisson and her little gang of followers.

  Serafina screamed in rage.

  Serafina swept from the room and Valkyrie watched her go.

  “The cameras are coming back online,” China said, staring into the middle distance. “The Coldheart convicts are … They seem to be surrendering.”

  “They don’t have Abyssinia in their minds any more, telling them what to do,” Valkyrie said, and looked at Skulduggery. He was unusually quiet. “Everything all right?”

  He didn’t answer immediately. “Abyssinia has sacrificed most of her followers. She attacked us and lost.”

  “So?”

 
; “So that’s risky,” Skulduggery said. “That was a risky move. Abyssinia wouldn’t risk sacrificing that amount of people if victory wasn’t assured in some form or …” He straightened. “There’s a bomb.”

  “I’m sorry?”

  “What did you say?” China asked, looking round.

  “On any ordinary day,” said Skulduggery, “what would be the chances of sneaking a bomb into this building?”

  “Virtually non-existent,” China answered. “Apart from all our regular security measures, the Whispering has been modified to detect explosives.”

  Skulduggery nodded. “So Abyssinia would have to distract us with something huge, something crazy – like a full-scale attack that would set off every alarm you had. Are the shields still up?”

  “Yes.”

  “That could interfere with a signal, so an attempt to detonate the bomb remotely might not be successful. It must be on a timer.”

  “Skulduggery,” said China, “I’m telling you. If there were any explosives in the High Sanctuary, I would already know.”

  “Besides,” said Valkyrie, “wouldn’t a bomb kill Abyssinia’s own people, too?”

  “She’s already written them off,” Skulduggery replied. “She came in here personally because of Caisson, because he wanted the opportunity to watch China die – but that wasn’t the primary intent. When she spoke to me yesterday, she said the Sanctuaries will collapse into chaos. The only way that would happen is if the High Sanctuary is destroyed.”

  “But Abyssinia was practically appraising the place,” Valkyrie said. “Planning to redecorate. Why would she be even joking about moving in if she’s going to blow up the building?”

  Skulduggery tilted his head. “Because not all bombs are explosive.” He turned to China. “Scan for a device in the middle levels. Somewhere central. It might have an energy signature you don’t recognise.”

  “Give me a moment,” China said. Her eyelids began to flutter.

  Valkyrie turned to the sound of running footsteps. Cleavers. And Fletcher, out of breath and bringing up the rear.

  “Stairs,” he gasped. “They’re awful.”

  “What happened with Nero?” Valkyrie asked. “He looked exhausted.”

  “I think I may have … short-circuited him. He started to … lose control.” Fletcher sucked in a deep breath, and exhaled. “Basically, I beat him, and I’m pretty sure I broke him.”

  China opened her eyes. “Found it,” she said. “Fletcher, twenty-fifth floor. Now.”

  All of them, Cleavers included, laid a hand on Fletcher’s back and the next instant they were in a corridor junction. China took a moment to orientate herself, then led the way to a windowless room with a black box, about the size of a car battery, sitting on a table.

  “What are we looking at?” Fletcher asked.

  “It’s a bomb that targets organic life,” Skulduggery said, walking round the table slowly. “A long time ago, Abyssinia came up with the idea for this, based on her own ability to drain the life force from living things. If this goes off, it could kill everyone in the building and not disturb a single chair.”

  “That’s OK,” said Fletcher, “I’ll just teleport it somewhere it can’t hurt anyone.”

  Skulduggery held up a hand. “We don’t know how sensitive it is. Teleporting it could set it off.”

  “Everybody out,” China said. “I can contain it.” She started carving a sigil into the wall with her fingernail.

  “Are you sure?” Valkyrie asked, stepping out into the corridor with Skulduggery and Fletcher.

  “Perfectly,” China responded. “Talk among yourselves while I work. Or run away. Either is acceptable.”

  Fletcher waited a moment. “So we’re staying, are we?”

  “Yes, we are,” said Valkyrie, keeping her voice low.

  “Skulduggery,” China said as she worked, “Abyssinia presumably came here to kill us all because she’s about to launch her grand offensive and she requires the Sanctuaries to be destabilised just when they’ll be needed the most. Do we know yet what this grand offensive is?”

  “From what I can gather,” Skulduggery said, “she’s going to send First Wave to attack an American military post. This will reveal magic to the world, which will then push the American people towards war with sorcerers – which is where President Flanery comes in, I would imagine.”

  China didn’t stop carving sigils. “How wonderfully diabolical of her. Do we know which military post?”

  “We do not.”

  “Cleaver, bring one of the convicts in here.”

  The Cleaver nodded, and left.

  “Caisson’s life is in danger,” China continued, her voice a little softer.

  “Yes, it is,” said Skulduggery. “Who do you think she’ll send after him?”

  “She’ll want it to be done right. She’ll send her sister.”

  “Wait,” Valkyrie said, “I’m missing something.”

  “Oh, good,” said Fletcher, “I thought it was just me.”

  “Once word gets out that Caisson is Mevolent’s son,” Skulduggery said, “Serafina’s followers will flock to him. She may have been the wife of their messiah, but Mevolent’s own flesh and blood would inspire a deeper sort of loyalty. The Legion of Judgement could very well be hollowed out and all her power and influence would desert her.”

  “So Caisson has to die,” Valkyrie said, “and Serafina’s sister is going to kill him? The same one we met on the steps?”

  “That’s Rune,” said China, “and if she wanted to kill someone, she’d kill them face to face. But Serafina has another sister, one who worked as an assassin during the war. I expect she’s setting out to track Caisson down even as we speak.”

  “But Caisson will be OK, won’t he?” Valkyrie asked. “He’s got Abyssinia watching over him. I don’t care how good this assassin is, she won’t be able to get past Abyssinia. Right?”

  “Right,” said Skulduggery. “Caisson is perfectly safe.”

  “So long as he stays with Abyssinia,” said China.

  Valkyrie hesitated. “He … he didn’t look too pleased with her.”

  “No, he didn’t.”

  The Cleaver returned, pushing a shackled convict before him. A mage came with them.

  “Excuse me,” the mage said, “could we borrow Mr Renn for a while? We’ve got enemies that need transporting straight to the cells.”

  “Absolutely,” China said, finishing up the final sigil.

  Fletcher hesitated. “Are you sure? Maybe I should stick around in case you need a quick evacuation.”

  “Nonsense,” China said, stepping out of the room. “You see? I’m all done. Go and help with the clean-up.”

  Fletcher followed the mage out, and China looked at the convict.

  “And what is your name?”

  The convict glared at them all. “I’m not telling you nothing. You can—”

  “Clerihew Montgomery,” Skulduggery said. “Imprisoned for two counts of murder.”

  Clerihew snarled. “They had it coming. You all have it coming.”

  “That’s nice, dear,” China said. “Put him in this room, please, Cleaver.”

  The Cleaver shoved him in and China tapped her arm. The sigils on the walls lit up, activating the force field. His eyes widened when he realised he was trapped.

  “As you probably already know,” China said, “that is Abyssinia’s life-force bomb. When it goes off, this force field should contain it and ensure that we, out here, are perfectly safe.”

  Valkyrie didn’t like this should business.

  China continued. “You, however, will die instantly. Your life will be drained from your body, and you will be reduced to nothing more than a dry and empty husk.”

  “You … you can’t do that,” said Clerihew. “That’s not allowed.”

  “I’m the Supreme Mage,” China replied. “I can do whatever I want. The thing is, though, the bomb’s on a timer, and we have no way of knowing when it will detona
te. Any moment now, I should imagine.”

  “That’s murder. You’d be murdering me!”

  “Technically, Abyssinia would be murdering you. I just wouldn’t let you out. But here’s the good news. You don’t have to be murdered at all. It’s true. I will drop the force field and you can walk out right now – and all you have to do is tell me which military post Abyssinia is planning to attack.”

  Clerihew shook his head. “But I don’t know.”

  “I’m afraid you’ll have to be a bit more forthcoming in order to escape.”

  “No, really, I don’t know,” Clerihew said. “She never bothered to tell us. Why would she? We’re not involved in that stuff, the planning stuff. She points and we go, that’s the drill. I don’t know, OK? I don’t. You got to let me out.”

  “I believe I was quite clear on the rules, Mr Montgomery.”

  “Oh, God, please.”

  “China,” Valkyrie said, “we don’t know when it’s going to go off, so maybe you should let him out.”

  “Yes!” Clerihew said. “Yes, let me out!”

  “Not until you tell me the name of the military post,” China said calmly.

  “I don’t know it! I swear to you! Please! All I know is it’s a base and it’s got sailors on it! Get a Sensitive down here to read my mind – they’ll know I’m not lying! Please, let me out!”

  Valkyrie looked to Skulduggery for help.

  “If Clerihew tells us where we can find Coldheart Prison,” he said, “we might be able to locate this naval base ourselves.”

  China pondered the proposal, and nodded. “Yes,” she said. “That is acceptable. Mr Montgomery?”

  “It’s nearby!” Clerihew said. “Just off the coast of Dublin, over a little island, called, um … Aw, jeez, I can’t remember! It’s a small island!”

  “Dalkey Island,” Skulduggery said, “Bull Island, Colt Island …”

  Clerihew shook his head. “No, no. It has these weird little things on it! Not kangaroos, not koalas—”