A Werewolf, a Vampire, and a Fae Walk Into a Bar

by Karpov Kinrade

  He begins massaging my legs. As he works his way up my calf and toward my thigh I give in completely, moaning as his strong hands relieve the tension in my body.

  "You've pushed yourself too hard too soon," he reprimands, his voice as much of a caress as his hands. "Rune's potions will help, but you still need your rest."

  "I didn't exactly schedule this craziness to come into my life right now.” I lose my words for a moment when his fingers dig into a particularly painful spot on my foot.

  “By the way,” I say, switching gears to a much more pressing topic. “Do you know anything about the Order of the Star?"

  I haven't had a chance to ask Darius about his involvement, and since the Sexies have a mysterious shared past, I figure Zev might be able to answer some of my questions.

  He frowns, his lips tightening. "Why do you want to know?"

  "Okay, sounds like you do know something. Explain.”"

  "Others will have more information than I do. The Order has a torrid history amongst my race. It was an organization of witches who used their magic to attack my kind, targeting our pups and killing our mates in order to weaken our packs."

  "Tell her the whole story," a new voice demands. Darius has appeared out of practically nowhere, and now stands before us, glowering. "The witches organized in order to protect themselves from persecution. From being hunted."

  Zev stops rubbing my feet, much to my great sadness, and stands to face Darius, bristling at the interruption. "We weren't the only ones, nor the first, to hunt the witches," he growls.

  Rain--disturbed by the men raising their voices--wakes up from her nap screaming, and I scowl at the two of them. "You've already had this fight, and now you've woken the baby. Shame on you both."

  I sound like an old school marm, but I don't care. A sleeping infant is not to be messed with.

  Zev's demeanor changes in an instant, turning from combative to repentant. He shuffles over, tail between his legs, to change Rain's diaper and try to get her back to sleep. I use the moment to confront Darius.

  "Now's the time you explain how, when, and why you met my grandmother," I say, patting the cushion next to me and inviting Darius to sit.

  The vampire casts a glance at Zev, who pretends like he's not paying attention, but I know he totally is. Darius takes a seat beside me, close enough for our legs to touch and the recent memories of his gleaming body to flood my brain. His words snap me back to the reality at hand.

  "I had business with the Order, before you or your mother were born. That is when I met Tilly. She was a powerful witch--their leader, and we were at war."

  "So you were some kind of emissary?" I ask.

  He gives a shrug that could mean anything.

  "And what did you learn?"

  "That they were waiting for the Last Witch to be born as well. The one who would spell the end to all other kinds and return power to the witches."

  "Oh good, another power grab," I say dryly. "So their motives are about as pure as all of yours."

  Zev grunts, proving he has in fact been listening, and Darius just scowls. "At least we now know who Karl is working with and what they want."

  "But we don't know who's leading the Order now," I say. "It's clearly not Tilly."

  Darius looks out the window and Zev tilts his head back, staring up in thought. They don’t know.

  “No, we don’t,” the vampire says as he lays a hand on my leg.

  The touch makes me shiver, and not just from his unnaturally cold skin. Why are all three of these men so good at gentle touches that make me want to be ravaged when there are so many other things I need to be thinking about?

  “But if the leader is not from your bloodline,” Darius continues, “that’s something of concern.”

  “Why’s that?” I ask just as Rune and AJ enter the apartment, finally done closing the bar just after one in the morning. On our best night pre-Sexies, the place would be empty by 10:15.

  “Not all witches have the best intentions,” the vampire says, a knowing look in his eye. “Outside of your lineage, we can’t really know what the Order intends to do with the child.”

  For the next few weeks, things fall into a bit of a routine--certainly more routine than the first few chaotic days of Rain’s life. AJ moves back to her own house to escape the cramped quarters at my apartment but continues to bartend and incorporate more of Rune's drinks into our regular menu. Darius--much to his eternal consternation--becomes a favorite amongst the locals, and even folks from out of town. He and Zev perform their act nightly now, bringing in tourists from Salem, Boston, and all over to witness their ever-changing show. Rune plays the harp and has talked me into playing piano with him, and I have to admit, the effect is pretty damn magical. Several patrons record us and put us up on instagram, which delights Rune beyond measure for some reason.

  And I can't deny, having these hunky paranormals around has made my bar a whole new type of intoxicating.

  I thought Rain’s arrival would kill Morgan’s financially, and the antics that ensued made me sure the business would collapse, but things have turned around drastically. In addition to all of our new female patrons, now that AJ has a grasp of her seductive powers, men who would stop in for a beer after work are now staying for three or four drinks.

  Meanwhile, I get to be a mother. I tend to my baby without constantly looking over my shoulder, and I wrap her in a Bjorn and stroll through the bar when I feel like it. I’ve set up a swing next to the piano and Rune and I play her to sleep while the patrons watch and listen. For fleeting moments, I feel a happiness I haven’t experienced in years.

  But it's a momentary sensation, clouded by the uncertainty of what isn't happening. Despite our best attempts, we've learned nothing new about the Order of the Star or what Karl was involved in. We don't know who else might be part of this. I'm half expecting sweet old Joe will turn out to be the Devil himself, maybe with plans to burn me alive? At this point, nothing will surprise me.

  So when we have yet another week of no new leads, I make a decision. One that won't be popular with anyone.

  "I need to see my grandmother again," I announce one afternoon, looking at Darius specifically. "And I want you to come with me."

  "Why me?" the vampire asks, setting down the leather bound book he was reading.

  "Because you knew Tilly back in the day, and you've got those voodoo mind powers. Maybe you can get through to her. We'll leave Rain at home with Rune and Zev so she'll be safe. And hopefully we can avoid triggering my grandmother into another panic attack."

  Darius frowns. "I cannot go out during the day, and there are no visiting hours at night," he reminds me. Like what, did he study the damn brochure?

  I smile. "I know. That's why we're going to break in."

  Chapter Sixteen

  I’d love to leave right after sunset, but AJ tells me I should wait until after the bar closes so Zev doesn’t have to be in wolf form and she’s not too busy creating a “lust tornado of nymphiness.” Her words, not mine.

  So Darius and I plot behind the bar between his dances, deciding how exactly we’ll get inside.

  “I should go in first,” I say, trying to take charge of our strategy. “If anyone’s inside, at least I’m a family member and I can make up some story about being worried.”

  Darius smiles condescendingly, and I realize immediately that my plan is unrealistic. “You understand that we’re breaking in, yes? Trying to enter unnoticed.”

  He makes a very good point. Planning for an encounter with a nurse or a custodian sort of handicaps the whole operation.

  “Fine,” I say, reluctantly relinquishing my authority. “How do we get in undetected? Without tripping the alarms?”

  “Well,” Darius says with a casual shrug, “the alarms sense either motion or heat, and since my blood runs cold and I move too quickly, I’ll just go inside and disable the system.”

  Right. The fact that I thought I should take the lead on a heist with a vampir
e shows my mom brain still isn’t firing on all cylinders.

  We agree on the strategy and that we’ll leave as soon as the bar doors lock, and I decide I’ll catch a quick nap before we go. As I start for the stairs, Darius stops me.

  “Remember, we’ve pledged not to take your child without your permission.”

  “Right. That’s why I can leave her while we go.” I feel like I’ve got this, but Darius gives me a look that suggests I’m missing something.

  “That’s correct,” he says, “as long as you don’t give permission.”

  “So, what, I need to just leave her on the floor and walk away?” Either I don’t understand what the word permission means, or these paranormal pledge rules are a little vague.

  “No,” Darius responds, doing a better job than normal at staying patient. “You can hand the child to any of us, as you’ve been doing. You can say ‘play with Rain,’ or ‘hold my baby.’ The only phrase you cannot say, without breaking the pledge, is ‘take the child.’”

  Take the child. This is good to know, and the type of thing someone might have told me earlier, but maybe each of them was hoping for a slip. So strange to think that these men, now my companions, maybe even friends, definitely objects of many affections, could still turn on me. But it’s nice to know they can’t do it unless I give them the go-ahead.

  “Can I say, ‘take the baby,’?” My question’s half in jest, and yet these semantics seem to have cosmic importance.

  Darius nods. “Only the phrase take the child will break the bond.”

  With that, he struts toward the dance floor and I head upstairs, happy to know I have powers--and terrified I might slip up.

  At five past midnight, Rune carries the last drunk out the door and AJ locks up. I pass her the baby, ensuring I won’t misspeak and destroy my life, and head to the car with Darius.

  As we buckle in, I realize I’m alone with him for the first time. Yes, we’ve had moments in one room while everyone else was in another, but now we’re in a car, driving away. A few weeks ago I would have accepted this as a death sentence, now I can’t help but feel a thrill run through my body. Ever since our shared moment in my room, the chemistry between me and Darius has changed. Less antagonism, lots of sexual tension. It certainly doesn’t help that he strips down to almost nothing in the bar night after night.

  Darius stares out the window as we drive to Ipswich, taking in the scenery, which I’m sure he can see just fine even though it’s dark.

  “Does anything look familiar?” I ask, wondering how much time he’s actually spent in this area. He’s been alive forever, so maybe he’s summered in Eastern Mass for eons. Who the hell knows? I realize with a sudden sobriety no matter how much we talk, or how long I end up living with the Sexies, they will always remain mysteries. They have lived longer than I can even imagine. This is nuts.

  “Only vaguely,” Darius answers, pulling me out of my thoughts. There’s a hint of sorrow in his voice that he covers quickly. “A lot has changed since I last visited. Both here and in my world.”

  He seems a little melancholic, so I leave it at that. Plus, I’ve got to start stealing my nerves for the crimes I’m about to commit.

  There are three other cars in the lot when we arrive, which doesn’t seem like a lot. Maybe two nurses and a security guard? Thin staff to care for a building full of invalids. I’m worried for Nanny, but also relieved that our scheme might be easier to pull off than expected.

  We pull around to the back and Darius does a quick survey of the building.

  “Are you sure about this?” I ask. “They might have a more complex system than you’re used to.”

  He looks at me, the condescension roaring back into his striking eyes. “I’ve broken into kingdoms protected by magic spells and guarded by dragons.”

  “Dragons? You’re just going to throw that out there willy nilly? Dragons?” But he doesn’t respond. He’s already out of the car and moving swiftly toward a ladder that leads to a ventilation duct near the roof, leaving me to stew about dragons and unicorns and whatever else might exist that I always thought was fairytale. It’s probably safest to assume everything is real, but that might make my brain explode.

  I shove my existential crisis to the side as I get out of the car and glance around, not really sure what to do next. Darius has taken full control of the plan, and I’m just along for the ride, which isn’t a position I enjoy being in.

  It only takes a few seconds before the back emergency exit pops open and he waves me toward him. I jog over, noticing how good my legs feel. I’ve recovered very quickly from this birth, and if anyone asks me how I did it I’ll just say some bullshit like kale smoothies and yoga. Namaste, bitches. Who would believe the truth anyways? I can barely wrap my mind around my current situation, and I’m living it.

  As soon as I get inside, I see Darius hasn’t gone totally unnoticed--a security guard lies unconscious on the ground by the door.

  “I assume this was necessary?” I say in an aggressive whisper.

  Darius looks down at the guard and shrugs. “Sometimes an elbow to the temple works more effectively than mind control. Let’s go to Tilly.”

  Before I can show him the way, Darius starts striding down the hall toward her room.

  “How do you know where you’re going?”

  “Magic,” is all he responds. At first it seems like he’s brushing me off, but then I think about it a little more.

  “Your magic? Or hers?”

  Darius throws a quick glance over his shoulder, “the latter.”

  When we get to her door, I’m about to ask how we’ll get it unlocked, but my brain catches up fast enough for me to keep my mouth shut. With a flick of his wrist, I hear a soft click and the door pops open. I’m excited to someday learn the extent of his powers, because right now the man feels like a walking cheat code.

  With a final look behind us, we tiptoe into Nanny’s room. Well, I tiptoe. He just walks in his normal stealth mode.

  Enough moonlight spills through the window that we’re able to see her bed. Nanny’s asleep, but tossing a bit like she’s having a bad dream. As I move toward her, Darius stands back by the door.

  “Stop,” he quietly commands. I do as I’m told, though I can’t imagine what his concern is with me getting closer to my grandmother. “She’s not well.”

  I roll my eyes at the obvious statement; that’s why she’s in a home, bro. I realize immediately that my thoughts have been heard, because Darius takes slow steps toward Nanny while explaining the dilemma.

  “She’s powerfully afflicted. The episodes you’ve talked about have nothing to do with you or her surroundings, and everything to do with what’s going on in her mind.”

  He arrives at her bedside and kneels, every step taken in silence. Ever so slowly, he reaches up and grasps her hand. The move is done gently, but Darius seems to tense as the two connect, like a shock has gone up his arm.

  Seconds later, Nanny’s eyes start to flutter open. She looks at the ceiling, then slowly turns to me. After my last visit, I’m terrified at how she might react. Screaming would be bad for our cover, of course, but I assume the vampire could fix those problems. I’m more worried about the emotional damage another episode might cause her and me both.

  However, instead of becoming agitated or distressed, my sweet Nanny smiles. It’s a smile I haven’t seen in years, not since I was a little girl and my mother was alive.

  Then she lets her head fall to the other side, facing Darius, and something even more unexpected happens.

  “It’s you,” she says softly, the smile still on her face.

  “Hello, Matilda,” Darius responds, his voice so full of kindness that unexpected tears spring to my eyes.

  It’s beyond beautiful, seeing Tilly recognize a face and speak coherent words. At the same time, I just want to scream until everything makes sense. After all these years and so much mental unrest, she recognizes the effing vampire?

  “Where am I?”
she asks Darius, who’s still holding her hand. His jaw is clenched tightly and his muscles are tense, like he’s the one in distress.

  “In a room that keeps you safe from the outside,” Darius answers, “but not safe from yourself.”

  “Can you take me away?”

  The vampire shakes his head, a look of pity etched on his brow. “I can’t take you anywhere you’d be better off. Matilda, do you recognize your granddaughter?”

  She turns toward me, the warm smile still there, and nods her head.

  “Bernie. I’m so sorry.”

  “What for, Nanny?” I can’t imagine what she feels the need to apologize for. The tears I’ve been holding back begin to spill as I rush to her side, kneeling next to Darius, and only slightly resenting that it’s his hand she’s holding instead of mine.

  “I couldn’t save you,” Nanny says. “I couldn’t save my Lauren, and after I tried, I couldn’t save you.”

  “Save me from what?” When she doesn’t respond immediately, I turn to Darius. “Save me from what? What’s she talking about?”

  He throws me a quick look, and with it a mental warning. If you want me to learn anything, you’ll stay calm.

  I nod, his point well taken, and he gives his attention back to Tilly.

  “You’ve more power than I remember,” Darius says, a slight quiver in his voice. “Do you know what changed? What happened to your mind?”

  Nanny keeps her eyes on the ceiling, and I see a tear fall down her weathered cheek.

  “I thought I could end the line,” she says matter-of-factly, her voice clear and strong. “I thought, perhaps, I could be the last one.”

  I don’t understand what’s going on, and I can’t quite tell if Darius does either. His face looks pained, like he’s having this conversation while squatting a thousand pounds.

  “Why didn’t you know better?” the vampire asks. The question isn’t so much scornful, as one filled with regret. A sadness born from whatever my grandmother did.

  She turns to him again, the smile coming back, though this time with a mischievous curl in her lip. “Why don’t any of us know better, my sweet?”