Not Even Close (A New Generation)

by Elizabeth Reyes

  Sitting up suddenly, as the birds went instantly silent, he glanced around. “Savannah?” She walked into the room wearing nothing more than his oversized T-shirt brushing her teeth. Byron shook his head confused. “How?” He turned down to the bed where she’d been laying just a moment ago. “How’d you get up without me feeling you?”

  The ominous tune coming from outside started up again as he got out of bed. This time it didn’t even sound like chirping. It was music. She motioned that she had a mouthful of toothpaste and couldn’t talk. Afraid she’d disappear again Byron followed her back to the bathroom.

  Savannah leaned over the sink and rinsed her mouth. She said something as soon as she was done but the music was so damn loud, he couldn’t make out what she was saying. “What?”

  Her lips moved but there was no sound. At least Byron couldn’t hear any words. Except he didn’t even care anymore. He reached out for her, wanting nothing more than to have her in his arms. Once again, his heart nearly gave out on him when she slipped through his hands like grains of sand, and she disappeared.

  Byron opened his eyes, blinked twice then laid there for a moment. “What the hell was that about?”

  He rarely remembered anything he dram, yet he remembered this one so vividly. Not wanting to move, he just lay there very still, as if moving might make him forget some of the details. He wasn’t even sure why he’d want to remember. It’s not like it was a pleasant dream but there was something about it. It felt foreboding. Though he’d never been one to buy into the dreams meaning something, bullshit.

  Glancing down at his clenched hand on his stomach he remembered something little Elsa of all people had told him once. He was over at Beast’s place one evening on Little’s duty, on a rare occasion when Beast and Ali had gone out for the night without the girls. Lucy had fallen asleep on the chaise in the front room with both her hands on her belly. He’d started to whisper to Elsa not to wake her sister when he saw her walk over and start to touch Lucy’s arm.

  She’d shaken her head before he could finish and gently moved Lucy’s hands from her belly to her sides. After tiptoeing away, she explained why she had. “Mommy said when you sleep your whole body is like dead weight. So, your hands on your belly are heavier against it when you’re asleep than if you had them there when you were awake. She says too much weight against your belly can make for bad dreams. I believe it because Lucy falls asleep a lot with her hands on her belly and she has lots of bad dreams.”

  Smiling, Byron remembered how carrying Xochitl up to their dorm the night of the Frat Row fiasco, had felt like carrying dead weight. When he lifted his wrist up to check the time on his watch, he was surprised to see it was already close to eight in the morning. Chalking off the dream to his worrying about blowing it with Savannah, he got out of bed and decided to look forward to his upcoming day with her instead. Ali’s theory about sleeping with his fist on his belly made sense. That’s likely where the ominous music came in.

  After sending Orlando a text asking if he was free to close for him tonight, he jumped into the shower. When he got out, he read Orlando’s response with a smile. His wife and kids weren’t even in town today. He planned on staying late anyway since he wasn’t looking forward to getting home to an empty house.

  Perfect. He text back thanking Orlando for covering for him. As he got ready, made coffee, and threw together a quick omelet he kept checking his watch the whole time. Nine was already downstairs with the rest of the crew so Byron didn’t bother going down. He started packing his bag for the weekend instead. The whole time he thought about how he’d be spending his time with Savannah today—pampering her—all day. Though throughout his packing he couldn’t quite shake the tense knot in his gut he woke with. Each time he thought of the possibility that this could be it, they might be taking that next step in their relationship, the knot got even tighter.

  Twenty-One

  Just Hanging Out

  Vannah

  Deciding she’d text Byron this time to let him know she’d just arrived in the parking lot she sat there for a moment and waited. As understanding as she’d been trying to be these past several weeks about Byron’s past, seeing him around other women was not a pleasant thing to have to witness. Especially when said women were so damn obvious about their interest in him. She meant it when she said she didn’t expect his past to just disappear, but if there was anything she could do to avoid the awkwardness of it, she’d be doing it. Giving him a heads up before she arrived had been Xochitl’s suggestion. So, it’s what she was doing now.

  Thoughts of seeing how outrageously flirty the woman she’d seen at his shop the other evening, reminded her of Ms. Thang from down at the university’s lab. Her husband showing up once already hadn’t stopped the woman’s shameless behavior. Vannah and Xochitl were now on strict orders to be on the lookout for more drama since Nena had been able to edit the video’s Annette had sent Xochitl last time, uploaded them to their channels and it’d been a hit. They hadn’t gotten any more of the drama on film but Xochitl had since secretly recorded more of the outrageous flirting Mrs. Diaz was still doing. Even that, Nena said she could edit to blur out faces but add to what she said might turn into a little soap opera. One that would play out right on their channels.

  Glancing down at her phone, she tapped on the shortcut to their channel. Clearly people loved juicy gossip because the footage with an explanation of how it related to the video of the screaming match had been uploaded weeks ago, and it too was now getting a ton of hits.

  “Hey.”

  Clutching her chest, Vannah practically jumped out of her skin. She glanced up to a weirdly smirking Byron standing outside her door. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.” He glanced down at the phone in her hand. “Got caught up texting?”

  “No.” She shook her head gathering her school bag and laptop from the passenger side seat. “I was checking our channel to see how many hits and likes a certain post has gotten.”

  Byron helped her with her things as she got out of the car, but his lips were on hers as soon as he got the chance. Savannah smiled feeling the now familiar tingling her insides did any time he touched her. “I can come back for my bags later. I’d like to get started on that paper. I hate having stuff like that hanging over my head.”

  They walked hand in hand into the shop, and up to his apartment. There was no shortage of kissing, groping, and fondling each other, even as they’d walked up the stairs but more so, the moment they were behind closed doors.

  Vannah attempted in vain to calm her pounding heart. She’d discussed this in length on more than one occasion now with her mom, Nena and with Xochitl. They were all in agreement that the subject of virginity had very likely been brought up by Byron that very first week when they’d spent so much time video chatting, and on the phone, because of her age. She’d been honest with him and told him about being active with her boyfriend during her senior year of high school. But she’d been vague. She now knew Byron’s intensity when it came to things of that nature was the norm and it’d been instantly on display even back then. Because he’d quickly moved onto another subject altogether. Clearly, he hadn’t been anxious to hear any intimate details about her relationship with her ex. Especially about that in particular. But she’d known when the time came, she’d be more specific about just how much experience, or lack thereof, she actually had. Each time they were together now, she knew it was just a matter of time. Today she’d even come prepared and worn the brand-new sexy panties and matching bra.

  Except thinking about moving their relationship to the next level, made Vannah nervous. Byron was proof she’d never been in love with her ex. Not once in the entire relationship with her ex had she felt anything even close to what she felt for Byron in just a month. The crazed frenzy her body felt from his kisses alone, didn’t even compare. She also knew sleeping with Byron would exceed any expectations she’d been imagining for weeks. The little experience she had in that department, was no doubt l
aughable in comparison to anything Byron might have to offer. Already even the things he had done to her had her tingling just thinking about them sometimes at the most inappropriate moments—like in class. Not only was she nervous about living up to the standards of a man like Byron, but of falling even harder than she already had this quickly.

  But her mother was still of the adamant belief that complete honesty and openness was the only way to go. Vannah agreed, especially since it seemed to be Byron’s thought process as well. Only putting her feelings out there like that so soon was scary. Despite how much she felt for him already, it still felt too soon. For now, she’d play it by ear.

  After more marathon making out, Byron finally let her be so she could get her paper done. As if it weren’t hard enough to concentrate on anything else in the past month, being here in his apartment, knowing what might be happening when she was done, proved so much harder.

  A couple of hours later, when she was finally done going back and forth between thoughts of Byron, and obsessing with her paper, Byron stuck his head into his bedroom where she was working on it. “You wanna take a break so we could go grab lunch? Or if you still need time, I can order something. We can eat here.”

  The question alone, had her insides whirling with excitement already. Chewing the corner of her lip, she thought about how best to word it without sounding too obvious. “I’m actually getting ready to wrap it up. But I think I’d rather stay in anyway.”

  He gazed at her in a way she was certain he’d picked up on what she meant—not just for lunch—but all day. Feeling her face heat, she knew she was likely blushing over just that. Without saying anything, he walked over to the bed where she sat, and kissed her so profoundly, she thought she might swoon.

  When he finally pulled away, he looked as enthralled as she felt. “I’d rather stay in too.”

  His kisses always did things to her she’d given up trying to understand, but this one felt different somehow. Hearing him say he’d rather stay in too, but mostly seeing how genuinely rapt he seemed, she wondered now if he was feeling it too.

  Licking his lips, he cleared his throat as he glanced away momentarily. “Anything in particular you feel like having?”

  “Anything but Mexican,” she said trying to shake off her dazed demeanor. “We’ll be having that all weekend I’m sure. Surprise me.”

  Leaning in again, he pecked her softly. “Got it. I’ll go order in the kitchen so you can finish up.”

  She nodded staring at him the whole time as he walked out. Inhaling deeply when he was finally out of sight, she exhaled a bit exaggerated, feeling silly suddenly. Going back to her paper, she tweaked it a few more times before she forced herself to stop obsessing and just send it already. She met him back in the kitchen where he was tapping at his phone screen. As soon as he saw her, he put the phone down on the counter and reached out for her.

  Pulling her to him she was instantly wrapped in his arms as he gazed down at her. “Food should be here in about twenty-minutes.”

  She smiled big. “What are we having?”

  “Chinese. Best place in town. Guys downstairs are always ordering it, but I haven’t had it in a while.”

  “Ooh, Chinese sounds good, and I’m hungry.”

  “Yeah?” he smiled pecking her a couple of times. “Good, ‘cause I wasn’t sure what you’d want so I ordered a little of everything. So, what do you feel like doing today?”

  She smiled feeling timid suddenly and shrugged. “Enjoying a nice quiet day, just the two of us would be nice. This weekend is going to be hectic. My family.” She shook her head with a wince. “I’m the first to bring anyone around and my mom warned me that my uncles already said they’re gonna be all over it.” His squeezing his eyes shut had her smiling again. “They’re not so bad, I promise.”

  His eyes flew open, and his brows leapt nearly to his hairline. “Really? Are they big harmless teddy bears like your dad?”

  “They really are,” she insisted, even if she couldn’t help smirk. “And my mom said Uncle Romero is more excited about you being Beast’s brother and grilling you about him. Oh, and Uncle Manny and Max,” she laughed outright now. “You’re gonna love them. They’re hilarious.”

  “How many freaking uncles do you have?”

  Glad for the change in mood and distraction about what would very likely be happening before the day was over, she happily explained more about her family’s dynamics. The food arrived and they sat down to eat in front of the TV.

  While it was on, they barely paid attention to it. Instead, they spoke food, cooking and since they were on the subject of Chinese food, she told him about her family’s restaurant’s famous chorizo fried rice. Vannah couldn’t get over how comfortable she felt. As if she’d been hanging out with him like this forever.

  As usual she couldn’t eat very much in one sitting but was glad there was enough left to munch on for the rest of the afternoon and dinner. Knowing things would inevitably end up getting cozy, Vannah made sure to excuse herself to the bathroom before they did, brushed her teeth and gave the jittery girl in the mirror a much-needed pep talk.

  No surprise once out of the bathroom, Byron was already in the bedroom with the TV on in there instead. By the time he’d excused himself to the bathroom as well and came back, Vannah was thankfully feeling a little calmer. He joined her on the bed where she’d taken a seat pretending to pay attention to what was on the television. As always, he took her in his arms first thing. She cuddled up against Byron’s big strong embrace and couldn’t help breathing in deeply again. Feeling Byron glance down at her, she turned up to meet his eyes.

  up. That beautiful smile of his, so uncharacteristic to his otherwise hardened demeanor, reminded her of the very first time she saw him at the signing. He’d already told her more than once now that he’d never smiled so much as he’d found himself smiling since he’d first laid eyes on her. She was lost in those eyes for a moment before breathing in deep again. Leaning in to kiss her softly, he then pulled away. As she opened her eyes, he seemed to search them. “Penny for your thoughts?”

  “What?”

  He chuckled clasping her even closer. “Before my time, too. My mom used to say it. No surprise it’d be over your head, little girl. Means, what’s on your mind?”

  For a moment, Vannah considered making something She’d hate for him to pull back if he knew how hard this little girl had fallen for him already. Then her mother’s steadfast advice resurfaced amid her thoughts, and she swallowed hard. “I don’t remember ever feeling so content just hanging out and having lunch with someone.”

  He stared at her for a moment, started to say something but then seemed to change his mind and smiled instead. Vannah was then indulged with one of the amazing kisses she now knew she’d never get enough of. Her entire body trembled as their kissing got deeper. As it’d been happening in the past several months, they slowly repositioned themselves until they were completely lying down. Byron’s body was half over hers as he sprinkled kisses down her chin and neck, and he began unbuttoning her top.

  They’d gotten as far as him taking her breasts in his mouth and most recently him caressing her between her legs but just over her panties. Despite that, Vannah had nearly come undone, and she could feel herself going there again as he caressed her between her legs again now, but over her jeans.

  Panicking, she placed her hand on his chest, and he immediately pulled his hand away. “No,” she said touching his hand.

  “Savannah, I don’t want you doing anything you’re not comfortable—”

  “No, it’s not that.” She shook her head meeting his staunch stare. “I actually came here prepared for things to move forward today. I just . . . I just wanted to talk to you about something first.” Her heart pounded as his eyes went from widening in surprise, to him peering at her in question. “When you asked me if I was still a virgin—”

  She shook her head quickly and almost laughed at the immediate alarm in his expression. Albeit
the urge to laugh was more out of anxiety, than the comedic value of his panicked eyes.

  “I’m not,” she assured him caressing his hard bicep. “I just didn’t explain everything.”

  Once again, the obvious change is his mindset was fast. “I don’t need details, Savannah.”

  “Not details.” She squeezed his bicep this time, trying to calm her racing heart. “It’s just that I wanted you to know the whole truth. I was with one guy who I knew for a long time, because he was a close friend of my cousins growing up, before becoming a couple. Then we were together for a while before I decided I was ready. But my reasoning for deciding I was ready was because neither of us had . . .” She swallowed hard feeling kind of stupid now but was determined to get this out there. “We’d both be each other’s first, and he was moving away. Being young and dumb, we both thought going there would make it more official, and therefor we’d have a better chance of making the relationship work despite the distance.”

  She shrugged as he continued to listen to her intently. “His moving an hour away didn’t seem so far. But neither of us had cars, and I didn’t even have my license yet. The long-distance thing didn’t work out.” She shook her head because she was getting off track and wanted to get to the point already. “Anyway, technically we were active but only for like a month before he moved. And at that age and having brothers and a dad like mine—” Vannah paused when Byron suddenly smirked. “What?”

  “You mean the teddy bear?”

  “I’d just turned seventeen, Byron.”

  “Oh, shit.” The smirk flattened.

  “Yeah,” she said with a laugh. “As you can imagine, Richard was terrified of us getting caught. So, while technically we became active, it didn’t happen very many times.”