Like Lovers Do

by Tracey Livesay

  “Did he ask you to?”

  “That’s what he wants. Some kind of Suzy Homemaker. And that’s not me.”

  “It’s been three years. I think Ben knows exactly who you are.”

  “I support you. I would never ask you to give up your fellowship. And it’s only a year. We can make it work . . .”

  Nic squeezed her eyes shut, as Caila’s logic attempted to make inroads. But something blocked her from fully accepting their meaning.

  “It can’t work,” she said, though to Caila or Ben, she wasn’t sure. “My fellowship is in Durham. He lives here. And when I’m done, I’ll be searching for jobs. I don’t know where that will take me and I won’t limit myself just to be where he is.”

  “Slow your roll! You’ve raced ahead before the starting gun went off! Calm down. He said he loves you. Has he asked you to marry him?”

  “No.”

  “To live with him?” At Nic’s twisted lip, Caila amended, “Officially?”

  “No.”

  “Did he ask you to give up your fellowship?”

  The exact opposite actually. He was willing to give up his dreams so she could achieve hers.

  “No.”

  “So where is this coming from?”

  Nic opened her mouth to respond when Dee said, “Caila, can you give us a minute?”

  Once Caila sensed an issue, she wouldn’t stop until she’d figured it out. Nic knew from personal experience that Caila’s dogged persistence could be both a blessing and a curse and it didn’t take a genius to figure out which one it’d be this time.

  Caila started to respond, but then she glanced at Nic. Whatever she saw had her backing down, a rare feat for her friend.

  “Sure.” Caila stood. “I’ll go down and see how much packing Nic has done. Brilliant your daughter is, Ms. Dee. Organized outside of the OR, she is not.”

  Nic listened as the click of Caila’s heels on the hardwood floors grew more faint. When she could no longer hear them, she turned to her mother.

  Dee covered Nic’s nearest hand with her own. “You know how much I love you, right?”

  The nape of Nic’s neck tingled. She tensed. “Of course.”

  “And I’m so very proud of you.”

  “I know.”

  “But I made a mistake.”

  A chill spiraled from Nic’s core at the starkness of her mother’s words and she pulled her hand away. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

  No child ever wanted to hear their parents wished they hadn’t been born. Her father’s desertion demonstrated how he felt on that issue, but she couldn’t take hearing it from her mother.

  “Not you,” Dee said softly. “Never you.”

  Relief made her giddy. “Then what mistake did you make?”

  “I gave in to the bitterness. I gave up my plans and instead of taking responsibility I blamed your father.”

  “He is to blame. He left us.”

  “Yes, and that was his choice. Everything that happened afterward was mine.”

  The blood rushed from her head and she suddenly had difficulty breathing. “I don’t understand.”

  “You’re still making decisions based on what happened all those years ago.”

  Nic’s heart was beating so loudly she was certain Dee could hear it. “You’re wrong. I don’t care about him. Or what he did. Or why he’s not here.”

  Her mother looked at her with anguished sympathy. “God, I wish that were true. But I see now that you care about it a great deal.”

  “Stop saying that!” she raged. “I didn’t do any of this because of him.”

  “Yes you did. You may not even be aware of it.” Dee stroked a hand down Nic’s hair. “It was always important to me that you had what you needed, that you never went without because of the choices I made.”

  “‘Make a way out of no way.’ That was your motto. I just followed your example.”

  “I can’t take credit for that. You blazed your own path. And seeing what you did, I felt ashamed that I didn’t do more.”

  “Are you kidding? You’re the best mother anyone could ask for.”

  “But I was only one person and after your father left, I felt so overwhelmed. And bitter. And angry. I could’ve gone back to college; looked at nighttime options or took courses online. Hell, I could’ve taken you and moved to a bigger city where there were more opportunities, but I didn’t. I stayed, accepted my lot and let the resentment eat away at me. It never occurred to me that it might infect you, too.”

  “It didn’t.”

  “Are you sure?” Dee stared into Nic’s eyes. “What’s going to happen once you achieve your goal? When you finish your fellowship?”

  “I’ll have the job I want, I’ll make a lot of money, and I’ll be able to take care of you.”

  “I don’t want you to take care of me. I want you to take care of you.”

  “What are you talking about? I’m great.” Nic waved a hand toward her face. “Recent crying jag aside.”

  “No you’re not. You’ve based your entire life on your work. It’s like building a house on an unsteady foundation.”

  Nic laughed. “Mom. Stop. It’s not the same thing.”

  “Sure it is. If the foundation collapses, the house is destroyed. If work is your entire life and you can’t work, what happens to you then?”

  “Am I missing something? Why wouldn’t I be able to work?”

  “I think what your mother is trying to say is our careers are important to us, but they aren’t everything.”

  Nic started and swung her head to find Caila standing there in her bare feet. “Back so soon?”

  “I came to grab my agenda out of my bag. It’s chaos down there. Nothing is arranged or labeled. You’ll save so much time on the other end by taking a little bit of time to organize now.” Caila looked at Dee. “I see she’s being her usual ornery self. Do you mind?”

  Dee sighed. “Be my guest. Maybe you can get through to her.”

  Caila, a giantess even without shoes, peered down at Nic. “I’ve watched you push men away, keep them at a distance. But I can’t stand by and watch it this time. Not when I feel like you’re going to look back on this and regret it. The fact that Ben even got through your defenses is a miracle. But he did. And he loves you. And he’s done nothing but support you. You owe it to both of you to give it a chance. See where it could go.”

  “Are you and Mom tag teaming me?”

  “Maybe. You can be really stubborn. And I know this must sound crazy coming from me, but I’ve learned you can do your job, chase your dreams, and still be happy with the person you love.”

  “This is different from what you and Wyatt went through.”

  “The details, but not the issue. Look, my career was the most important thing in my life until I almost lost it! That’s when I realized what really mattered to me. You guys, my family. Wyatt. I still love my work. It’s fulfilling and it challenges me and it’s a part of who I am. But it isn’t all that I am.”

  Nic had seen that change in Caila. Had noticed it during their vacation this year. But she hadn’t taken kindly to the transformation, thinking it meant her friend was a hypocrite. What she hadn’t known was how much her own life would change in a matter of a month.

  “From what you said, Ben wasn’t asking you to give up your career or change who you are. If anything, it sounds like he wanted you to, I don’t know, just make room in your life for him.”

  Make room in her life . . .

  His parents never having time for him.

  His insistence that the woman he married have a flexible schedule and undemanding career.

  His refusal to expand his business and increase his client roster.

  “I’m just asking you, begging you, to consider making room in it for me.”

  The realization acted as a tectonic shift in her perspective.

  “But what if I make room for him and I’m wrong? What if it doesn’t work out?”

  “It’s n
ot surgery. If it doesn’t work out, you move on, Martha, move on. And if putting more distance between you is necessary, you get another job.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Girl, Ava gave me some tough love and now it’s time for me to pass it on. This isn’t your mother’s situation. You’re not a twenty-year-old black woman raising a child on your own in a small Southern town. You’re a fucking surgeon. Pardon my language, Ms. Dee. You’re not giving up your fellowship, so you’re achieving your goals. And if things don’t work with Ben, so? It’ll be sad. You’ll be heartbroken, but you’ll keep living your life. And you’ll have us.” She took Nic’s hand. “But Nic, imagine if things do work out? You’ll have your career and a man who loves and supports you. Isn’t the possibility of achieving that dream worth the risk?”

  Nic thought of the three years she’d lived with Ben. How he’d supported her, taken care of her, nurtured her. Then she thought of the week they’d just spent together. How becoming intimate hadn’t detracted from their friendship, only made it better. What would she give for the chance to have that? Forever?

  She covered her face with her hands. “I’ve been such an idiot.”

  “There you go.” Caila laughed. “That’s it. Let it flow over you. Trust me, I’ve been there. The moment when you realize the mistake you made and you need to fix it? It can be a doozy.”

  “How do I fix it? And what if he doesn’t feel the same way anymore?”

  “That man loves you. He didn’t stop because of an argument.” Caila held up her agenda. “Let’s take this one step at a time. We’ll figure it out. Do you know where he is?”

  “No.” Nic smiled, the lightness in her heart threatening to overwhelm her. She loved Ben. It was time to get her man back. “But I know where he’ll be.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  “I appreciate you coming in,” Ben said. “I didn’t handle our initial meeting well and that’s all my fault. If you’ll indulge me, I’d like to have a do-over. You tell me what you want to do and I’ll advise you on how you’d go about achieving it. I’ll give you my opinion, that would be my job as your financial manager, but it’s your money and your decision. If at the end of the session you still believe this won’t work, then we part ways, no hard feelings. And you won’t sic Mr. Ashford on me.”

  Quentin Miller rubbed his hands together and then nodded. “Alright.”

  Ben motioned for the player to precede him into the office and told Ezra, “Hold my calls.”

  Thirty minutes later, Ben clasped the hand Quentin offered then escorted the young man to the lobby.

  “Thanks for giving me a second chance,” Ben said, smiling ruefully.

  “Thanks for listening,” Quentin said, his trademark grin back in place as the elevator doors opened. “Take it easy, BVM.”

  Looked like he’d acquired a new nickname. Laughing, Ben handed Ezra the iPad he held. “That’s the contract he signed. Start a file then call his manager to set up an appointment in two months for all of us to meet.”

  “Will do,” Ezra said, grabbing the tablet.

  Ben headed back to his desk, grateful he’d heeded his gut and reached out to Quentin a second time. He hadn’t been able to shake the feeling that he’d made a mistake by not listening to the player during their first consultation. Their phone call on the Vineyard had left Ben with mixed sentiments. A positive regard for a young man willing to stand up for himself and the people he cared for and a negative one.

  About himself.

  Ben had been so certain he’d known the situation, he hadn’t looked beyond the surface. Something he’d been doing a lot lately. In this instance, continuing to do so would’ve cost him the opportunity to work with someone who’d really appreciate his work. The type of client he’d started his business to help.

  Ezra poked his head in. “April Ingham’s rep confirmed your meeting for next week. Since you agreed to come to her in New York while she works on her latest collection, she’s sending her private plane for you. I’ll forward you all of the travel information as soon as I receive it.”

  “Thanks.”

  Another change he’d made.

  By allowing him to back out of their deal, his mother had encouraged him to live his dream. And he couldn’t do it halfway. His mother hadn’t. Nic wasn’t. They were both unafraid to go after what they wanted. He had been living in fear, whether he’d realized it or not. In his personal life, he’d manifested that anxiety by placing restrictions on the type of woman he’d let into his life. It hadn’t been because he was concerned about the family they would one day have. He’d chosen women with accommodating lifestyles because a part of him had been afraid that with more rigidity, he wouldn’t be chosen.

  Professionally, he recognized he’d been operating his business as if afraid it wasn’t going to last. As if he, too, hadn’t believed that he wouldn’t end up back at Van Mont Industries. Keeping things small made them easier to jettison. But now that he knew going back would never be an option, he felt free to give all of his talents to his business without any limitations on its scope and growth. In fact, he was already looking into hiring an associate to help him handle his expanded caseload. And if Ezra was right about athletes talking amongst themselves, that associate would soon have company.

  “And Ezra,” he called as his assistant was leaving, “the office phones have an intercom system. Feel free to use it. You don’t have to physically come in here each time you need me.”

  “Got it, BVM.”

  He liked this nickname better than Benji.

  Ben’s smile faded and he settled back in his chair. If only his love life was similarly trending upward. The pain of his breakup with Nic was immeasurable and it hadn’t lessened in the days since he’d left Martha’s Vineyard. If anything it had gone from a sharp, radiating spasm to a dull, throbbing ache. Nic wanted space and he wanted to give it to her, so he hadn’t gone back to the house when he’d gotten back to Baltimore. Instead he’d stayed at his family’s ancestral home in Roland Park. But though they’d physically been miles apart, she’d never been far from his thoughts. He missed her desperately.

  At least things were progressing with his parents. His father had called him the day after his talk with his mother. He’d echoed what Fallon had said and Ben was open to seeing if they were willing to put words to actions. Maybe he’d text them to see if they wanted to have dinner at Le Bernardin while he was in New York.

  What would Nic think of the situation with his parents? Would she be in favor of their reconciliation? Or would she advise him to be more cautious? He wished he knew. He wanted to talk to her and get her opinion. He didn’t just miss touching her, kissing her, and making love to her. He missed laughing with her, cooking for her, sharing his days with her.

  He missed his best friend.

  He could only hope Nic would accept his feelings and realize he’d meant what he’d said. He wanted only to support her. He’d give her time.

  But not too much.

  At a certain point, if she didn’t come to him, he was going to have to go to her. He was no longer afraid to go after what he wanted and to live his dream. And she was inextricably linked to both.

  Ezra buzzed his phone.

  Progress.

  “You have a walk-in.”

  He may have stopped constraining the growth of his business, but he still had standards.

  “I don’t see walk-ins. Give them the paperwork and an appointment. Sometime soon, if you can.”

  A few seconds later, Ezra buzzed him again.

  “She doesn’t want an appointment. She said she had to see you today. She told me she was trying to be polite, but she was prepared to go through me if necessary.” He lowered his voice. “She’s tiny but I’d put money on her.”

  Ben’s heart pummeled his chest trying to break free as if it sensed its other half nearby.

  Nic?

  He experienced the next few moments as if he were out of his body. Hovering from above, he wat
ched as he jerkily rose from his desk and strode over to the door. When he opened it, there she stood, lovely in a simple hot pink dress that matched the becoming flush on her cheeks and showcased her petite figure to perfection. A small beige bag on a gold chain was slung across her body and her hair was a halo of curls around her gorgeous face.

  His consciousness slammed back into his body and he gulped in a huge breath of air.

  How had he survived a week without seeing her?

  But the first thing he said was, “Your graduation was today.”

  “I know.”

  “Congratulations.” Before everything had happened between them, he’d planned to be there. He’d been looking forward to celebrating this accomplishment with her. To see the culmination of all of her hard work. He frowned and glanced at his watch. “What are you doing here?”

  “I wanted to see you.”

  “Now?”

  What was she thinking? In an hour, her specialty was holding a separate ceremony where she’d be receiving several awards and giving a speech. During this time of day, it’d take almost forty minutes to get to the country club where the festivities were being held.

  She took a step forward, her determined gaze meeting his. “We need to talk.”

  He knew those accolades were important to her. He couldn’t let her miss it.

  “Wait here.” He rushed back to his desk, shrugged into his suit jacket, and grabbed his phone and wallet from the drawer. “We can talk later, after the ceremony. Ezra, can you call down and have my car brought around immediately?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Ben, listen—”

  With a hand on the small of Nic’s back—God, she smelled amazing!—he guided her over to the elevator, hurrying her inside when the doors instantly opened.

  She tried to resist his forward motion. “Ben! Stop it! There’s something I need to tell you.”

  “And I want to hear it.”

  He pushed the button for the lobby and turned to watch the numbers, calculating how to get her across the city on time. If he took 83 North to 695, that would probably be quicker than if he took 695 the entire—