CIRCO

by Tara Ellis

  The world’s largest privately owned train was at the dock of Dearborn railroad station. Patrons were gathered outside with self-made posters and hearts full of cheer to see the world famous El Circo de Fantasias take off for another city. The entertainers were boarding into the cars. A boy who held a poster reading MARRY ME SCARLETT in big bold letters shouts her name amongst the other fans. She paid none of her supporters any attention. She climbed into the train followed by a man carrying her luggage. Maybe she heard the boy and just didn’t care. She had seen crowds gathering like this ever since her mother married the ringmaster. Perhaps she was all too used to this and decided to pass it by like it didn’t matter. Andre and Jake were greeted warmly by the fans, they took a couple of comical bows and then boarded.

  “I love you Joyce!” said a voice in the dense crowd. She dropped her bags and put her hand to her mouth. She tried to find where it came from, with her eyes as wide as they can be, but then another voice shouted “You were fantastic last night Joyce.” Water came to her eyes. So full of joy and surprise. She didn’t expect to garner any fans as of yet. But when the fanboys said her name you could actually see through her dark skin the blush rushing to her cheeks. Beaming with emotions that were very amiable, she blew a kiss to the fanboys and each one of them put a hand up to catch it. She stepped on the train, then gave the fans a flapping wave goodbye and left their sights. After last night’s stunt she pulled She decided that Artemis’s and Britney’s words were true, that she did wonderful.

  Joyce with a grin filled with teeth from ear to ear searched for her cabin number. Scarlett was talking among another performer staring vehemently at her new costar. “Is she serious? Oh my god did you see her?” She mocked her hand wave, laughing; trying to make it seem funny when it actually wasn’t. Joyce noticed, and that made her feel the type of way when it’s the first day of school and no one wants to sit with you at lunch. She kept her head down and found her cabin. It was actually better than what she expected. She thought she was going to be sharing it with somebody but there was only one bed. In fact her cabin was way better than what she had expected. There was drawers were she could place her clothes, a little mini refrigerator that already was filled with snacks and other delectable foods one likes. She had carpet flooring, a nice little love seat in the far left corner. She clicked on the TV and was surprised to find that she had premium channels. Back home cable was a luxury her family couldn’t afford. She looked around her cabin thinking that she could definitely get used to this. Well that is what she thought until she spotted Scarlett at her doorway.

  Scarlett spoke in the most self-righteous attitude directed towards Joyce. “For the liveliness of your mind don’t let your vanity devour you… Honestly people become more ignorant in these days of the celebrity game. Sad, but hilarious to watch. I’m only 17 and more mature than the majority and loving life. Once this game sinks its teeth into you, you’ll naturally adapt and take in the idea and bam, it’s a part of you for good.”

  Joyce didn’t say a word she just kept her mouth shut.

  “On the other hand my stepfather…”

  “Excuse me I’m wondering if I am in the right train car,” said a lost girl.

  Scarlett put her hand up at the face of this girl and didn’t care to speak in her direction. “Excuse you, who are you?” she asked.

  “Selena Santana.”

  Joyce couldn’t even see the girl’s face with Scarlett’s hand in front of her.

  “So what are you doing here?” retorted Scarlett.

  “I’m just trying to find my cabin.”

  “What do you do?”

  “I’m a technician.”

  “Then you are three train cars down.”

  “Thank you,” said Selena exerting attitude right back at Scarlett. Scarlett snapped her fingers and pointed her away from the cabin. Vanessa left.

  “As I was saying. On the other hand my stepfather Mr. Sebring,” she continued. “He was always chasing after mainstream accessibility. Let us not confuse his appearance for the reality. He always puts out albums and DVD collections of his work for high-school kids to get as birthday presents. He needs that recognition. He craves,” she twitched her fingers signifying quotation marks. “The fame. It’s like his sustenance. For decades he tried to keep himself in the limelight, and all that effort left him to be a shallow human being; A shell of a once promising entertainer.” She stepped closer and twiddled a strand of Joyce’s hair between her fingers. “You are wondering why I am sharing this information with you Joyce.” Scarlett now spoke like a mother consoling a child. “Because you are very pretty. Pretty girls are loved in the fame industry. Fame is like power, once you have it, you’ll start to abuse it. And I would hate to see Joyce become wayward.” She said that as if Joyce wasn’t there and two people were talking about her. Scarlett pushed the strained of hair behind Joyce’s ear. As Scarlett walked away she gave her new colleague a bit of advice, she turned around and said “and remember this.” Joyce was already nodding her head agreeing with what she was about to say even before she said it. She kept her lips still the whole time Scarlett was talking at her. Maybe that was out of fear; maybe respect, maybe both.

  “It’s either somebody is using you or you’re being used, and if you’re not doing either then you’re useless.” The door shut. Joyce threw herself on the bed. She breathed in deep and sighed long.

  The great pretender was moving so fast she didn’t feel her feet on the ground. She hopped right in her assigned train car. She went down the aisle looking for an open cabin and they were all occupied. The garbage bags full of clothing and commodities were slung over heavy on her shoulder. She had to take a breather.

  She heard a burst of cheer. She looked outside the window. At first glance it seemed like Marilyn Monroe was boarding the train. Then she remembered that face on television. That was one of Artemis’s showgirls. She couldn’t figure out the name but she knew who she was. The name came to her when somebody called it out. Britney cat walked onto the train; sashaying those hips giving the boys a good old show. A few men whistled and hooted off at her. Once she stepped on the train she looked back over her shoulder at the crowd and gave a smile. Vanessa started to think what if Britney knew Mommy. The way Britney rolled her hips and crossed her feet as she walked, the way she posed right before she entered the train gave her the suspicion that maybe Britney was once a model. Not just any model. The way she strutted so naturally takes years of experience. That was all too familiar. Mommy showed the family old catwalk videos of her glory days. And both styles were identical in nature. She wondered if it was possible that they met once or twice. Then she wondered what if this lady would suspect her of being related to her model Mother. Fearing this woman might come up to her saying “I know you, me and your mother used to model together back in the day.” And because this was a child who was fickle with her thoughts, she threw that idea out the window thinking maybe this is just a lady with a really nice walk.

  “Do you want to know where you’re going to be sleeping?” said Timsley in a thick Irish accent.

  He led her to the last cabin in the train car. “This will be your new humble abode.” First thing she noticed that her cabin didn’t have a door like the others but a curtain that concealed it. He pushed the curtain aside; she saw two sets of bunk beds, one dresser, a grimly plaster of paint on the walls and there was only one small oval window. Worse in all for her were the two young gentlemen setting up their possessions. One of them offered his hand to her and said “Hi my name is Freddy.” She shook his hand. “You must be the new recruit, Selena. Right?” Freddy was a heavily tanned fellow who worked in the sun all day. He was wearing a wife beater. Vanessa noticed he was badly sunburned on his arms and back.

  “That would be true,” lied Vanessa.

  The other guy reached out for her hand, she gave it to him and he kissed it. “Wow you’r
e even lovelier in person than big old Tim here described. I’m Jason.” Vanessa was creeped out by Jason’s sudden display of affection; ruining his first impression. She took her hand back. “Well thank you,” she said.

  She couldn’t believe it. At this moment she felt very uncomfortable sharing a cabin with two older men….

  “Oh here comes Chucky,” said Jason.

  Three older men. She watched Chucky toss his luggage on one of the top bunks. “Hey Chuck,” greeted Jason. “Here is the new girl.”

  “Hey how’s it going,” asked Chucky. “You’re ready for circus life?” Chucky was older than the first two men, and a lot shorter, he came up to Vanessa’s shoulders. He had more hair on his arms than he had on his brown sunburned scalp.

  “Um, sure, I guess, I don’t know,” said Vanessa in a high pitch squeal. It got oddly quiet for a few seconds. The three men stared at her the whole time while Vanessa put her eyes to the floor. She felt awkward having to bunk with these grown men. With all four of them in there the space was horrible cramped. It felt smaller with everyone standing. She wanted to jump train and go home and apologize to her family immediately. She pictured the scene in her head; her running in her father’s arms, kissing and hugging her mother with the air filled with benevolence, and she screaming how sorry she was.

  “I don’t remember any one telling me I was going to be sharing a room with three other men.” She looked at Timsley and he nodded his head out the room. They talked down in the isle. “Look,” said Timsley. “I tried assiduously to get you in one of the girl cabins.” He had a nervous sweat as he talked. “Since this was all short notice and you’re basically filling for a guy who walked off his job the spacing was limited.”

  “So basically,” said Vanessa. “I’m taking his bunk?”

  “Correct. Those were his bunkmates. I can vouch for them. Those three are the nicest lads we have…” She felt the sincerity in his voice. The way he spoke she believed he wouldn’t let anyone bring harm to her. She didn’t have any other choice but to believe. It was either take on this new adventure or go back and find some other job. And how would that work out? Detroit was self imploding. No work, high crime rate, and disgruntled youth. She perceived Detroit is no place for a homeless sixteen year old girl. But on this train she had options.

  “I’m fine with it.”

  But she honestly wasn’t. The scene she was in now had bad written all over it. Like the set up to a scary movie. If this were a movie everybody in the theater would be telling her to jump off the train and go home. But it wasn’t a movie it was her life.

  She folded her clothes in a case under her bed. She had the bottom bunk on the right. Chucky was up above her. Jason had the other top bunk and Freddy was on the bottom as well. She decided to take a risk. To set sail on a new adventure, a new life as a new person. Timsley had made copies of her fake ID she gotten months before with Julio. When he brought those back to her he called out Selena from behind, she was slow to turn around; still getting used to people calling her by some strangers name.

 

  “The titanic on rails.” That was a nickname the staff and the cast have given the train. But at the end of the day it was home. Even though motion sickness rarely appears in ones house. And in your windows you won’t be able to see trailer parks, national parks and everything in between. As everyone got settled inside, the animal trainers had it rough trying to calm nondomestic animals. In the last leg of cars is where they kept the wild animals. The elephants were sounding off like sirens in their cages. In another car, the cat den, Solomon and the other big cats together roared like a fleet of choppers. But the caretakers had a trick for putting these beasts at ease. Slipping a bowl of warm milk through the cages watching the lions and tigers lapping it up with their tongues, watching the elephants suck the warm liquid into the trunks like straws and squirt into their mouths. These beasts would then go right to sleep. All thanks to the tranquilizer they would lace into their bowls, a powerful cocktail.

 

  The cheers from the fans had become thunderous as their one and only Mr. Sebring had surfaced. Strutting through the crowd like McJagger. Waving peace signs, and showing fans acknowledgment. In the world of entertainment Artemis was on the level of a rolling stone. Putting years into the industry, outperforming his competitors such as Barnum and Bailey, the Ringling brothers, set in his style and flare appeasing to the masses, collecting an enormous income. Forbes conducted a list of the world’s richest entertainers; the ring master came in seven, five spots below Oprah Winfrey. Life was good for him; feeling like an idol, when he saw the fans giving adoration it put his esteem to a new level. He felt worshiped, he felt like he was bigger than Jesus. That’s how life came at him. He was god until he died.

  One of his most notable quotes really gave his audience a peek into his mind. In the late eighties Artemis was being interviewed by Barbara Walters in his 15,000 square foot house back in Arlington, Texas. He was in his forties when this took place.

  “I have to say,” she said. “That I wasn’t expecting to meet a man with so much poise and maturity.”

  “Why because I’m black?” he asked with a smile. Giggles came off screen from the crew in the background.

  “No, you have a completely different character than what I was assuming. On stage with the camera rolling you are very wild and flamboyant, but I am here with you face to face and you conduct yourself with a level of maturity I wasn’t expecting.”

  When he replied to her his comment went into the history books, forever defining his character, his everlasting impression on millions.

  “I believe maturity is just a fallacy,” he said. “It’s an arbitrary set of ideals whoever had established telling those how to conduct themselves. But the reality is I couldn’t care less of what others thought of me. I tried to care but I can’t. I am disposed to a careless life of any ones judgments. I am absolutely frivolous.” He was known as a proudly immature man with an attitude that was irremediable.

  He strutted inside the train. The door shut behind him. The train whistled and departed away from the crowd that the ring master left an astounding impression upon.

  Next stop was Atlanta; on with a new adventure.

  Insomnia