CIRCO

by Tara Ellis

  Celia’s eyes were glancing out the window looking into the dark night with stars sprinkled about. She had her fingernails in her mouth unconsciously chewing away. She was in her best friend’s bedroom.

  “Oh my god,” said Scarlett on her bed. “You’re a fucking daydreamer aren’t you?”

  “What would be wrong with that,” replied Celia.

  Scarlett then placed a book mark between her copy of ‘The Money Class’ by Suze Orman. She went on to say “That it’s an absolute waste of time. You should be filling up your head with something that is useful.”

  “What like reading? I really don’t have the type of attention for reading.”

  As she spoke Scarlett used her book to point at her friend. “That’s just an excuse. There is nothing wrong with your attention span. You don’t have ADD, you’re just dumb, or lazy… maybe both.”

  Celia had no retort for that little quip. She was all too familiar with Scarlett’s insults. She could barely even recognize when Scarlett would be talking down to her. To Celia it was just how she would communicate.

  “What were you thinking about anyway?”

  Celia’s eyes went to the floor and back at her friend. “Boys,” she said.

  Scarlett looked at her up and down shaking her head, giving Celia another hit to the self-esteem. Celia was already aware of her height challenges, she was at least honest with herself; she knew boys would never date a freak.

  “Oh Celia honey,” said Scarlett, like a mother to a child who spilled milk. “Here’s a little tad bit of advice.” She sat on the edge of her bed. She smiled big while talking. “Boys… are overrated. I know. I had seen my mother go through enough of them. And who wants to end up like her… stuck in a shallow marriage blowing an old man as an act of survival. Pathetic.” She scoffed and then went back in. “If you are going to be wasting your time daydreaming, daydream about money and how you’re going to get it. I know baby you’re young and you want attention from these boys. I get hit on by dudes all the time, and it is just awful.”

  “Boys are starting to give me attention now… the good kind. When we were in Atlanta a boy said that I had the bluest eyes he’d ever seen.”

  “I bet that just filled you up with goofiness. Honey you are so lost. You’re lost because you were told you would be special when you grew up, and that you could be anything and people would love you even if you never worked on yourself to become a mature person. It’s part of that Walt Disney fucking illusion that has been engrained into millions of little girls. Now you’re growing up and life is not turning out to be like Cinderella, Snow White or Ariel The Mermaid, so every day you come up with something small to feel different and important about.”

  Celia didn’t care for Scarlett words, she liked that compliment, she probably liked the boy even more.

  “Just remember this, if you equate your mind to your body and you’re filling it up with junk like TV, bad association and daydreaming, picture what you would look like.”

  “So filling my head on how to get riches is more worthwhile,” said Celia with a pinch of sarcasm.

  Scarlett spoke real slow while looking in those bright blue eyes Celia was feeling fancy about. “Money equals freedom… freedom is a state of mind… so have money on your mind.”

  Celia’s sarcasm grew from a pinch to an ounce when she said “So you’re becoming a philosopher now”.

  And at that Scarlett told her “for an educated woman, words are the tools that separate her from the fools.”

  Joyce was still submerged in her own melancholy, she only came up for air when she was hungry. She wouldn’t ever disobey her appetite. Joyce left her room, walked past the lounge entrance where she seen Andre talking to Jake and went straight for the fridge in the kitchen. To fill the stomach she put two Hot Pockets in the microwave, poured a glass of Mountain Dew and snacked on Doritos as she waited.

  She heard from behind “Is everything all right?”

  She turned around and there was Andre, she looked at him without saying anything. She thought to herself how she could be so stupid for trusting him. She saw the way he held Selena, Joyce hated the idea of being with a man who had a lot of girls as friends.

  “You make me feel as if I did something,” he said.

  “I suppose you’re just being a man,” she said.

  “What does that mean?”

  “I’m the one man type girl and I want the one girl type man. I saw you hugging Selena. If you’re interested in her then…”

  “I was hugging Selena because I witnessed her getting raped…”

  “What!”

  “We were at the bar you wanted to go to. We were waiting for you but you never showed. I had to take care of Selena because she was a drunk ass. Even then she slipped out of my sight. I went outside to look for her, that’s when I heard screaming and breaking glass in the parking lot! I saw that fat shit Timsley trying to rape her in the back of a car! I went in and yanked his fat ass off her!”

  “I’m so sorry!”

  “You did see me hug her, because it felt like the right thing to do.”

  Joyce then hugged Andre, he was a little disgusted by her jealousy but he didn’t refuse her. “Just whatever you do, don’t let Selena know I told you this. Okay?”

  “Got it.”

  “I didn’t think you were the jealous type.”

  “Forgive me. I’m just still bitchy about last night.”

  The microwave then beeped, her hot pockets were done.

 

  Three knocks came on The Girl’s door and she replied with a groan. When the knocking stayed persistent she had gotten up to answer for whoever was there. As soon as the door swung open Freddy said “So you really are in these cabins?” He then wrapped his arms around her and pressed his lips against hers. He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around him.

  “I’m glad I get to see you,” he said.

  “Really,” she said. “Wait. How did you even get here?”

  “How do you think?” He then gave her another kiss.

  “How did you even know which room I was in?”

  “I have my ways.” He followed that with an additional kiss.

  “You’re crazy.”

  “True, but you knew that already.” His lips kept determined to finds hers.

  Freddy swung the door shut with his free hand. Then he put The Girl on her bed with her legs still wrapped around him. He thought at that moment he may get a little something something that night. He kissed her neck and put his hand on her chest.

  “Whoa! Stop,” shouted The Girl. He turned away from her on the bed.

  “What’s going on? Is everything all right?” He then reached out to her again and she flinched. At that moment Freddy got up and headed for the door thinking maybe she needed time for herself.

  “Wait, don’t leave me alone.” She was visibly upset. Freddy wanted to say something clever to relax her. But nothing formed in his head so he just let his feelings speak for him.

  “I think I came over here to tell you that I love you,” said Freddy.

  “Freddy the truth is you don’t know the real me.”

  “Can I get to know the real you.” He started to move towards her. “Will you allow me to?”

  The Girl nodded her head. He then picked her off the bed by the hand and pressed his lips firmly against hers.

  “You like kisses don’t you?” she asked.

  “I like kisses a whole lot.”

  “You’re a corny bastard.” They both chuckled. “I want to tell you everything… But I don’t know where to start.”

  “I don’t care. Whatever you want me to know,” was his response.

  That prompted her to say the first thing on her mind. “I was almost raped last night.” <
br />
  Miss Natalie Sebring was hearing a constant flushing from the bathroom. She knew Artemis was up to something. “Honey,” she yelled from the bed. “Whatere you doin?”

  She heard him shout out “Nothing!” But in reality he was putting five thousand dollars worth of powdered cocaine down the toilet. What he didn’t know was that Natalie was counting his flushes and the eighth had let out following his voice.

  She put her feet to the floor and started to tiptoe her way to the closed bathroom door. “Baby, Are you sure you doin nothin?”

  “um,” he said. He was trying to think of something that will get her away from the bathroom. “Remember that jalapeño burger I ate at The Gold Room? Yeah. It’s passing through me pretty badly.”

  “Oh.” She went back to bed.

  Artemis cut a baggie open and poured the last ounces of his ‘powder of miracles’ down the toilet. He watched the water in the bowl turn milky white.

  Before this occurrence he took his last hit, the farewell high. He loved cocaine. After decades of usage it was engrained in him. The drug moved through him like the air in his lungs. Artemis was a user and not an abuser of this narcotic. In the sense that people drink coffee was the way he used cocaine. He took small hits throughout the day as a pick me up. He most likely never would have stopped getting high on his own. He would have picked up again if he had lived longer. He figured until he resolves this black mail issue with his stepdaughter, he should get rid of as much evidence against him as possible.

  Natalie watched her husband rush out the bathroom, grab a stack of papers on the table and leave out into the hallway.

 

  Celia flicked through the television while still being in Scarlett’s company. She stopped on a channel when she saw Joyce’s face. “Look Scarlett! Joyce is on TMZ!”

  “What!?” she replied.

  “You know, the black girl.”

  “I know who you’re talking about.”

  “I think she’s nice… Why don’t you like her?”

  “I never said I didn’t like her.”

  “You didn’t have to.”

  “Well why do you like her?”

  “Same reason as everyone else.”

  “Which are?”

  “She is charming, she’s pretty, she’s talented.”

  “Oh please stop right there! She has no talent!”

  “Just because she got nervous doesn’t mean she isn’t talented.”

  Scarlett then became red faced, swinging her wrists in strong body language to emphasis her point.

  “You guys have to stop excusing her performance and saying ‘she was nervous’. Seriously! It’s not like this bitch is the first to perform for this circus. Being nervous is not an excuse at all. There is a huge line of performers who would kill to be in her spot. I can tell you that they would not come off as ‘nervous’. Don’t tell me to cut her a break, either. We are in a competitive business full of incredible performers. She let a lot of people down last night.”

  She turned away, and then looked at Celia once more. “That’s showbiz.”

  The music of the band Green Day filled the room, it was her ringtone. Scarlett answered her phone and gleefully responded to the voice of her stepfather. “Artemis, I believe you have good news for me.” Her voice was filled with arrogance. Celia noticed the sudden change in her tone, she knew that Scarlett had always despised Artemis. She couldn’t figure out why Scarlett suddenly had a jolt of happiness to hear from him.

  “I have very good news for you,” said Artemis. “Did you find those papers on your dresser?”

  She moved over to the dresser. “What am I looking at?” she asked. Celia noticed Scarlett looking at a stack of papers. Scarlett faced her friend with a smile. “Oh my new contract.”

  “I already signed my name to it. You should sign yours to. I just wanted to show that I’m living up to our bargain.”

  “I’m happy to hear that sir.”

  “I was afraid you were going to leak something out just to test me.”

  “Now is not the time for fear. I will let you know when to be afraid. I’m going to look this over; when I’m done I’ll give you a call back.” Then she hung up the phone and started to glance over her contract. Her attention went to the shade growing around her. She turned seeing Celia standing right behind.

  “What are you up to?” asked Celia.

  “If you must know,” she sighed. “I’m getting my own show.” Scarlett refocused on her papers.

 

  Freddy had his arms around The Girl he loved. She just finished telling him about what her life had been since the day she left home. She only told him what she wanted him to know. She mentioned her shitty parents, staying in the motel, and her troubles with the circus. She kept the lie about her attending Notre Dame, about her real name and age.

  Freddy had no words to express. So he held on, keeping her in his embrace.

  “I don’t want to be a virgin anymore,” she said. Freddy’s eyes almost popped out of his head. And still he had no words. But nonetheless felt the exhilaration.

  In the mind of The Girl, for her, this was about control, she didn’t want anybody to take it so she would give it away.

  “To me it seems like,” she started. “That every man wants to be with a virgin. So he can be the first to hit it. He wants to be the first to leave his mark. I call it the man on the moon complex.”

  She faced Freddy, their eyes were inches apart. She paused for a minute, trying to work up the courage to say what she wanted to say. “Do me a favor,” she started. “Next time when you know that you love me, if you ever do, don’t be afraid to say it right then.” Freddy nodded his head. “Freddy,” she started again. “Would you like to have me?”

  He knew that she wasn’t in her right mind, but it’s unlike a young man to turn down sex. He gave his answer by kissing her on the lips. They placed their hands all over each other unbuttoning and unzipping anything in their way.

  Right before he would take her virginity she asked “Do you have a condom?” He told her he didn’t. So she asked “you’re not going to give me a STD, are you?”

  “I’m clean,” he said.

  “All right then, go for it.”

  And then she took him into her body.

 

  Make up and Wardrobe