CIRCO

by Tara Ellis

  How ice water could satisfy the driest of thirsts was how sexual attention quenched Mimi’s entire being. Freddy was straddling Mimi. He was behind her, their flesh bucking off of one another, like riding a horse without a saddle.

  When they finished Mimi went straight for a nap. Freddy sat there, in bed, staring, summoning a dozen questions in his own head.

  They had been doing this nonstop in her cabin for three days. Every two hours they would dive off into a session of fun. When a session was over Mimi would fall right asleep. She would sometimes eat in between, but the majority of her time was spent in sleep or some form of sexual activity. It didn’t matter when either, all throughout those nights she would wake Freddy for a few rounds of pleasure. And she was a selfish lover at that. When she achieved her climax the sex was over. It got to the point when Freddy would no longer achieve a climax for himself.

  Most of the time when she slept he watched her, forming inquiring thoughts.

  It was seven pm. Scarlet was lying down on her bed. Her right hand held a can of Redbull and her left was reaching in a can of Pringles. Her attention was nonchalantly focused on television. ‘The Real Housewives of New York’ was on.

  At the height of her boredom she exchanged texts with her best associate Celia.

  Scarlet: im mad at you :’(

  Celia: for what?

  Scarlet: you left me

  Celia: i left to check on you father

  Scarlet: i wanted you here with me

  Celia: no seriously your father had a heart attack. your mom didnt want to go alone so i went with her

  Scarlet: uhm okay he wasnt going to die i just dont like to be by myself you know that

  Celia: SCARLET YOUR FATHER HAD A HEART ATTACK!!!! he is not well, he could have died

  Scarlet: could have, as in didnt there was no funeral

  Celia: there wont be, because i pray for your dad just as much as i pray for you

  Scarlet: well pray you find a new friend BITCH

  Scarlet threw her IPhone across the bed. Even though she had underdeveloped social skills she couldn’t stand to be alone for five minutes. She didn’t want to talk with any of her coworkers, because she believed they were all jealous of her. So she sat there watching housewives bicker over trivial matters.

  Celia was disgusted once again by Scarlet. She wondered why she even wastes her prayers on someone like that. She let the tears go. She was never afraid to break down in public, especially in church. There she was sitting in a little chapel in Cedars-Sinai hospital in West Hollywood. Of course she got a few stares; after all she was a giant, but she knew to forgive them. She would sometimes look at it from their perspective. Viewing herself from others eyes, wondering what they think. But for now she didn’t care. She didn’t care about those people looking over their shoulder at her. She would have only liked to cry.

  A nun’s attention was eventually drawn towards Celia. She did what her god given instincts lead her to do; comfort the poor child. She came up from behind her and whispered in her ear “No matter what you go through, god will always love you.” Celia took in the nun’s hand which she laid on the back of Celia’s neck. She stood up to face her. The nun watched her head rise into the air. Celia was two feet taller than her. “I know that,” said Celia, visibly growing more upset. “I’ll always know that. But my mother didn’t want me, my father didn’t want me. Boys don’t want me. I just want somebody here to love me. I don’t make it hard. I do whatever people say. But they still won’t love me… because I’m not the same as them.”

  The nun had full empathy for Celia, she could cry right along with her if she wanted to. That would have done them no good. “Hush those emotions my child.” She held both of Celia’s hands.

  “I can’t, god made me different. So they hate me, people don’t want to love me!”

  “Let me take a seat please,” said the nun. “God made you this way for a reason. I know it. I believe it in my heart. Do you pray every day?”

  “I do. But I can’t feel him right now! All I feel is the rejection!” Celia grabbed fistfuls of the nun’s cloth. “I just want to know why god made me this way.”

  The nun grabbed her by the chin so she would face her. “God made you this way so people would look up to you no matter what,” she said. “God put you on this Earth for a very special reason. Don’t lose faith in god, never. Whatever it may be, you’re going to need him to find your purpose. I’m going to tell you something real. You will continue to be hated, the stares will continue, the looks will continue. Because that is your challenge, that is your test, you have to overcome it. Show that it only makes you better.”

  “But it’s too much!”

  The nun grabbed her by the wrists. “Then handle it little by little, one day at a time. You can’t wish this away. God won’t take it away. He want’s to take you through it to make you stronger… Do you want strength?”

  “More than anything!”

  “You’ll have to earn it, pray for strength.”

  The nun allowed Celia to rest her head in her lap. Despite how big she was the nun still saw her as a baby. After a few moments of this Celia started to calm down she asked the nun her name. “You may call me Sister Celia,” she said. They both smiled.

  “Sister Celia,” she said. “I wish the world would be done away with those who hate.”

  “My child…” Sister Celia was looking for the right words. “That is just adding more hate. You cannot hate those who hate. You have no choice but to love them. And hope to god in time they see things the proper way.”

  The Giant continued to release her emotions and the nun continued to take them in.

  Everywhere Natalie went she was overdressed. She walked through the hospital in a short Versace dress with a matching Michael Kors handbag. She came through the doors of Artemis’s private hospital room. It was decked out like a five star hotel suite. The wealthy and notable get sick here. She saw his face and was immediately repulsed. The fear arose inside her. “He was so young, I don’t understand,” she thought. “I can’t take care of him, who is going to take care of me.” She headed back for the doors but was stopped by the nurse.

  “You’re his wife right?” Natalie nodded her head. The nurse set some towels on his nightstand. “What are you standing by the door for? You should be the first thing he sees when he wakes up.” That prompted Natalie to take a seat next to his hospital bed. “If you need anything, you know what to do.” And she left.

  “I need help,” thought Natalie. She looked into his face. She had known her husband to be a glutton for fun. There was no fun in him right then. All the life that once resided in him was gone.

  “Thank god he has a will.” If he had died she would have received all his money, seven hundred million. With that she would also get three estate properties located in Texas, New York and London. Twenty-four automobiles, within a wide variety. Forty-three percent of El Circo De Fantasias share holds. And also his countless possessions. Everything added up was worth over two billion.

  She loved him for what he was. He was famous, an entertainer, a mogul. But that man she saw right then, right in front of her looked like he had a round with the devil.

  “God please let this be easy,” she thought. “Take away this burden from me.” She grabbed his hand; it was limp and cold like he was dead. She held it up then let it go. His hand just plopped right back down on the sheets.

  Her breathing got heavy more audible in the room. She started speaking to god. “Please hear this,” she said. “Don’t ignore me; give me something, right here, right now. Show me you’re real. Don’t allow him to die like this. I need him. He takes care of me.” The worst part about Natalie, Artemis was her life. He gave her everything. Everything she had right then was because of him. Besides being a lover he also played the best friend and acted very parent like towa
rds her. She liked that, having daddy issues of her own. In her own world Artemis was her elder with special benefits. “Do something for me, make him healthy again. Take this sickness away from him.” It started to dawn on her slowly that without Artemis she would be a nobody once again. “The media won’t care about me once he’s gone,” she thought. “The paparazzi won’t follow me around anymore. No news about me on the internet. No gossip on talk shows. There isn’t any reason for why I should stay relevant. The attention would go away.”

  That little blonde head of hers then began to devise ways to stay in the limelight. “I do have those sex tapes. Also there are the ones I made before I met Artemis. I wonder would that even work for my age. Of course it would. I still have a nice body. I’m gorgeous and rich, how could those cameras stay off me. Being a celebrity really isn’t that hard.” She smiled at the thought, which was the first thing Artemis saw when he woke up.

  Even without the Ringmaster the show still had to go on. The train was passing through Utah on its way to Denver. Overall the tone was gloomy, people were quiet, watery eyes were all around. Some didn’t want to stay solemn, forcing out half smiles and polite jokes to ease tension. Mimi felt like she was already walking on eggshells so she tried to stay away from everyone. And that turned out to be a challenge.

  When Mimi and Freddy realized they were out of food. It had to be Mimi that went out to get it, because Freddy wasn’t supposed to be in that section of the train. She got dressed. Clothes on her body felt so foreign, because for three days she only had a man on her.

  She walked out the room, down the hallway, passed the lounge and into the kitchen without seeing or hearing anyone. Mimi grabbed a bag of Lays, some crackers, a hunk of cheese, and a six pack of Coca-cola.

  Right around the corner, Britney came along and asked her “Where are you going with all of that?” She was clearly annoyed. Mimi believed her emotions to be high over Artemis’s condition.

  “Too my room,” said Mimi.

  “That’s a lot of food.”

  “Someone else is in there with me.”

  “Oh well then I can’t really blame you Vanessa Medina, you are a really popular person.” Mimi’s eyes popped. She smiled while placing the food on the counter. She knew she was going to be there for a minute. When her eyes went back to Britney they shut out of shame. Britney stared at her with a facial expression so unique it was a perfect blend of disappointment and amazement. “How long did you think you could get away with this?”

  “I’m guessing Andre told you everything,” said Mimi.

  “Andre knew!? Okay Thanks, now I have someone else to yell at!” Mimi’s eyes were open again focusing on Britney. “Facebook…”

  “Facebook?” asked Mimi.

  “Yeah you know, a website where people can connect with each other.”

  “Yeah I know what Facebook is.”

  “Then you should know that your mother has been searching for you over two months now.”

  “She is not my mother!”

  Britney swallowed hard, she knew this was going to be difficult. “Oh really!? She showed me pictures of you when you were a baby.” She paused to let it sink in. “I know your mother… I used to work with her on the runway.”

  “So you two must have a lot in common then,” said Mimi as she tried to leave the kitchen.

  “Do not walk away from me.” Mimi stopped. “You’re under my jurisdiction remember?” Mimi gave no response. “You are fucking amazing. Fake I.D, fake resume and fake references. Am I missing anything? God, maybe you were faking your personality too… Nothing has been real, has it?”

  They were face to face, Britney staring her down. But something deep inside Mimi found the whole situation amusing. She wanted to laugh it off, but she resisted knowing that would put her in more trouble.

  Britney put her hands up. “I’m about to lose it. I’m just going to have to get in what I have to say. I never take up for people. Never! But I took up for you. I saved your ass beyond what your sixteen year-old little brain can comprehend. The reason I don’t take up for people is because I’ve learned that they aren’t worth it. They got themselves in fucked up situations so they should learn to get themselves out of it.”

  There was a battle going on in Mimi’s face to resist the urge to smile.

  “You’ve gotten yourself in so many fucked up situations and I played a part in each and every one of them, saving your ass…” Britney closed her eyes and chuckled, Mimi damn near did the same. “In the early nineteen hundreds circuses fired employees by throwing them out of a moving train. Do you know what would happen to you, hitting the ground at eighty miles per hour?”

  Mimi was going to give an answer but Britney beat her to it. “You’re bony as hell, you wouldn’t get up again.” Mimi thought the image of her bouncing off the rail tracks was hilarious, but she didn’t show it. “The only thing that’s keeping me from getting two grown ass men from throwing you out is because of your mother. She was or still is my friend. That’s the only reason… Your bridge with me has burned down… Are you registering with this conversation!?”

  Mimi nodded her head. “Really,” roared Britney. “Than what do you think I’m going to tell you next?” Mimi paused because she didn’t know how to answer. “You Fired!” Those words came out of Britney so forceful it made Mimi flinch. “The only reason you’re staying on this train is because your family wants to personally pick you up. They don’t want the cops to come for you because you are wanted for assaulting your mother.” Britney smiled, but it wasn’t in that loving way she would always give. “After we talked on Facebook your mother called and we talked for almost two hours. She made me promise to slap you across the face. And I’m thankful she gave me the privilege. ” Mimi braced for impact. “But I already wasted enough energy on you. You may go.” The red in her face started to dissolve while the redness in Mimi’s appeared. Britney released everything she wanted to. As Mimi was walking away Britney said her final words. “Suggest to your boyfriend Freddy to lawyer up, since you officially made him into a pedophile.”

  Britney was then in the kitchen alone. Deep breath, slow exhale. She spoke two little words to herself that returned her to normal. “And scene.”

  Demon