Love Means Everything

by Emma Easter

She was surprised when Malik nodded. “You are right. Papa does think you both are Muslims. He actually told me he was glad that you had finally come back to your senses.” He looked at Leila. “Zainah is right. We need to be careful. If our father finds out that you both are Christians, it could get a little dangerous…”

  “So I see you haven’t actually come to your senses after all!”

  Zainah gasped and her heart jumped as she turned around. Papa was standing at the door and staring at her with blazing eyes.

  Malik shook his head. “Umm… Papa, I didn’t mean…”

  “Shut up and keep out of this!” Papa said, holding out his hand in Malik’s direction. He said in a cold voice, “Tell me the truth, Zainah. Have you returned to Islam or are you still a Christian?”

  Zainah’s heart raced wildly as she looked at her father. His face was red with rage and he was looking at her with disgust. She pressed her lips tightly together, knowing her answer would not just ensure that she didn’t get the resources she needed to find Faizan, but that Leila would be part of whatever punishment her father decided to mete out. Lord, help me, she prayed. She exhaled and then told him the truth.

  “I am a follower of Christ,” she said simply.

  He laughed harshly. “So you didn’t come back here because you had finally come to your senses. You simply came to get money from me and then go back to wherever you’ve been for all these years.”

  She said nothing.

  He looked at Malik and narrowed his eyes. “You knew they were Christians and you said nothing.”

  Malik shook his head. “I didn’t think it mattered so…”

  “Shut up!” Papa nodded and turned back to Zainah. “Now, you are going to tell me if you are ready to convert back to Islam of your own will,” he turned to Leila briefly and then turned back to her, “or forcefully. You both get to choose either option.”

  Zainah’s jaw dropped. She’d thought her father would, at best, shame her for her faith, or at worst, send her and Leila away. But never had she considered him forcing her to convert to Islam. Her heart thudded as she looked at Leila. Her best friend looked terrified. Would she be able to stand or would she convert under pressure? And if they even stood on their faith, what was the point if they would somehow be forced to convert?

  She prayed for strength again and then looked her father in the eye. She would not convert willingly. Still, she wondered how her father was going to force her and Leila to convert. “I will not convert,” she said as boldly as she could. “I will not turn my back on my savior.”

  Papa smiled coldly. He looked at Leila, and Zainah bit her lip in fear as he asked the same question he’d asked her.

  Leila looked at Malik, her eyes full of dread. She looked at Zainah and then turned to Papa.

  Lord, please help her to stand strong, Zainah prayed.

  Leila looked down and whispered, “I choose to stand for Christ.”

  Papa laughed bitterly. “Okay, then. You are both going to convert whether you like it or not.”

  “You can’t force us to,” Zainah said, her stomach clenching.

  “Yes, I can!” Papa said. A few young men Zainah hadn’t noticed before gathered around them. “Since you both are unmarried, you’ll be given away as brides to two men in this town. Men who are dedicated Muslims and will not tolerate any act of rebellion from their wives. They will not be as lenient as I am,” he said to Zainah. “You will live with them and their other wives as good Muslim brides or suffer the ultimate consequence for your disobedience.”

  Zainah stared at her father as though he was a stranger and then she shut her eyes. She prayed desperately, Lord, this cannot be happening. Please deliver us.

  Leila cried out and Malik stood in front of their father, rage written clearly on his face. “You can’t do this to them!”

  Papa looked at the young men standing around them and nodded. “Take them away.”

  Four of the men grabbed Zainah and Leila, and the others held Malik back while he kicked and threatened them.

  Zainah felt a sense of detachment as the men led her and Leila to the back of their house. There was a shack a short distance away from the house that hadn’t been there years before. Leila cried as the men led them to the shack and pushed them inside.

  Leila cried out as she fell, and Zainah went to help her up.

  “You will both stay here until you either convert or are given away in marriage,” one of the young men said.

  Zainah gave him an evil look, but he had already turned around. They left and Zainah went to the door to try to open it. It was locked. She looked around for any way of escape, but found none. There was only a small window big enough for a cat to crawl through with iron bars.

  Zainah finally couldn’t keep it together anymore. She sat on the dirty floor and wept. Leila wrapped her arms around her and they sobbed together.

  “I’m so sorry, Leila. It’s all my fault. I should never have brought you here with me.”

  Leila shook her head and sniffled. “No, it’s my fault. I was the one who suggested you come back here.”

  “What are we going to do now?” Zainah said, feeling hopeless.

  “Pray. That is all we can do for now.”

  Zainah nodded. Even though her heart was full of fear, she held hands with Leila and prayed. She reiterated her trust in the Lord and asked Him to do only what He could do—deliver them out of their prison.

  They continued to pray until the shack began to get dark. Soon they became exhausted and fell asleep.

  Zainah jerked up, awoken by a clanging sound. Her ears perked up as she listened. The sound wasn’t loud, but it was constant. She stood up and followed the sound until she figured out where exactly it was coming from. Someone outside was hitting the bars on the small window.

  Zainah pressed the switch on the wall and breathed a sigh of relief when the lightbulb over them lit up. She looked down at the corner of the shack and found that Leila was still sleeping. Tiptoeing to the window, she stood on her toes and peered out. And then she gasped. Malik was standing there, hitting the iron bars with a short stick.

  “Malik!” she called out.

  “Shh… not so loud,” he cautioned. He held the bars and peered at her. “Where is Leila?” he asked.

  “She’s asleep.”

  “Listen, Zainah,” he whispered, “Papa is already planning your wedding. Leila’s, too. The men he wants to marry you off to are both cruel.” Malik frowned deeply. “I won’t let him marry Leila off.”

  Zainah’s mouth fell open. “Thanks for your care, brother!”

  “And you too, obviously,” he added.

  Zainah’s heart felt like it was about to explode with dread. She put her hand on her forehead and asked, “What are we going to do? Can you help us get out of here, Malik?”

  “I don’t know where Papa kept the keys to this shack and trying to force the door open might attract the wrong attention. I’ll try to find the keys as soon as possible. But I promise, I’ll find a way to get you both out of this place.”

  Leila moaned and Zainah looked in her direction. She stood and said to Zainah, “Who are you talking to?”

  “Malik.”

  Leila hurried over and nudged her away. “Malik!” she said and stuck her fingers out of the bars. She touched his cheeks and he brushed back the hair from her face.

  “How are you?” he asked her worriedly.

  “Not so good,” she answered.

  He told her what he’d said to Zainah and then added, “I’ll not rest until you are free. We will be together somehow.”

  Zainah watched them, her emotions roiling. Pain shot through Zainah’s heart as Faizan’s face appeared clearly in her mind. She exhaled to try to get rid of it, but couldn’t. Malik and Leila did look like they loved each other, but just like her and Faizan, though for different reasons, they could not be together. Even if they somehow found a way to escape this place, they had to leave this town as soon as possible. Plus, in s
pite of Leila’s stubbornness, she would not marry a non-Christian. Her alliance lay first with the Lord.

  Tears stung Zainah’s eyes as she thought of Faizan. If her father succeeded in marrying her off to some other man, apart from the fact that her faith or her life would be in jeopardy, she would never see Faizan again. She began to hyperventilate as the pain felt too heavy to bear.

  “Zainah!” Malik called to her again.

  She came near.

  “As soon as I find that key, I’ll let you both out. You have to be ready to leave then. Okay?”

  Zainah nodded as a shiver ran through her.

  Malik waved goodbye and walked away quickly. As she watched him, Zainah prayed earnestly that he would find the key quickly, before her father married her and her best friend away and all hope was lost.

  *****

  Sienna sat on the couch and looked up at the clock on the wall. It was almost eleven p.m. and still Bryan wasn’t back. She took a deep breath and shook her head. Frustration and anger boiled inside of her. Since they’d come to Peru, he’d begun to come home late, his constant excuse being that his meetings and evangelistic outreaches ran longer than he thought they would. She stood up and went into the large bedroom she shared with him. She’d tried at first to continue their Green Valley tradition of waiting in the living room till he came back home, but she’d gotten tired of doing that now.

  She changed into her nightgown and stretched out on the bed. The anger and frustration she felt grew as she tossed and turned. He’d promised he would always be there for her, but now he left her alone almost every day. He knew she didn’t know anyone here yet. She took her classes online, so she didn’t really have an opportunity to meet other people who she could make friends with. Yet, he didn’t care. His excuses meant little to her. If he really wanted to come home early, she was certain he could find a way to do that.

  She sat up as she heard the door open and then sighed in relief when she heard his footsteps approaching. Even though she was relieved he was back, she was still angry with him. She lay back down and pretended to be asleep. She didn’t want to say anything to him that she would regret later.

  She heard him enter the room. Ten minutes later, she felt the blanket move and then his arms went around her. She opened her eyes as he planted a gentle kiss on her forehead. This was now their new everyday routine. Most times, she kept her eyes shut when he kissed her, but today, she couldn’t keep back her ire.

  He lifted his brows and stared into her eyes. “You are awake today. I’m sorry if I woke you up.”

  “If you were paying better attention, you would know I’m always awake when you come home. I just pretend to sleep so I don’t pour out my anger on you.”

  He blinked rapidly. “Sienna? What is it?”

  “How can you even ask me that?” she spat out. “You leave the house very early in the morning and you don’t come back until eleven or twelve o’clock at night. You know I don’t know anyone here and therefore will be lonely, yet you see nothing wrong with leaving me all alone every single day.”

  He sat up and looked at her. “I didn’t know you felt so lonely.”

  She stared at him and blurted out, “Are you serious? I’m alone every day and you didn’t know that I would feel lonely?”

  He sighed loudly. “I have explained why I come home late, Sienna. Please try to understand and bear with me.” He reached out to touch her, but she shifted away from him. He looked at her and pleaded, “What can I do to make it up to you?”

  With her back to him, she said, “You can start by coming home early from now on.”

  He placed his hand on her back as he said, “I’ll try. It’s not easy to get away from meetings and the outreaches, especially the outreaches. I wish you could come along, but many of the places we go aren’t safe for you and our baby. Plus, you are taking classes all day long.”

  She instinctively touched her growing belly and her resentment doubled. “What if something happens to our baby when you’re not around?”

  “Sienna, come on. Nothing is going to happen. Besides, you have my number for emergencies.”

  She laughed without humor as she turned to face him. “And I called you twice on it on the days you came back after midnight, but you didn’t answer on either occasion.”

  Bryan sighed again. “I’m sorry, Sienna. I’ll try to do better from now on.”

  She shook her head. “You’ve said that before… but here we are, having the same argument.”

  Bryan put his hands around her, drew her close, and kissed her. At first, she didn’t respond to his kiss, but he kept kissing her until she melted in his arms.

  An hour later, she lay wrapped in his arms, listening to his light breathing. She stared at him for a full minute and then slowly extricated herself from him. She went into the living room, sat on the couch, and looked at the clock on the wall. It was past midnight. She thought about Audrey and Trisha and Faizan. What had they done during the day? What were their plans for the weekend? An overwhelming feeling of loss settled on her. Back in Green Valley, whenever she’d started thinking about her siblings this way, she would make plans to visit them the next day or during the weekend. Not so here.

  She pressed her lips tightly together. She’d thought she had forgiven Bryan, but she had only buried the hurt within her. Now that her mind had returned to her family in the United States, all the hurt resurfaced again. She realized she still blamed him for keeping her apart from them.

  She stretched out on the couch and decided she would call Audrey tomorrow and ask her for advice. She couldn’t keep holding this resentment against her husband in her heart, but it was getting more and more difficult not to. Not only had he separated her from her family and everyone she knew, he’d not kept his promise to always be there for her. She was married, and yet she felt lonelier than when she was single.

  She prayed, “Lord, please forgive me. I know he’s doing Your work, but it’s so hard. I feel so alone.”

  Gradually, she drifted off to sleep. When she woke up the next morning, she found that Bryan had already left for work. She sat on the bed, closed her eyes, and prayed he would keep his promise today and come back early. Because if he continued to leave her all alone, every day, she wasn’t sure what her next step would be. All she knew was that she couldn’t go on living like this.

  *****

  Trisha handed Ruby to Paula and then kissed her daughter’s cheeks. When Ruby cried out for her, she put her hand on Ruby’s cheek and said, “I’ll be back tomorrow, Ruby. I promise.”

  Paula rubbed Ruby’s back comfortingly and said to Trisha, “So, you are really going to Boise. I didn’t know you were this crazy about Frank.”

  Trisha shrugged. “I’ve always liked him, but it took some time to get to this place where I am now. I can say I am in love with him now. Unfortunately, I still don’t know where he is.”

  “Frank’s business partner… are you sure he’s going to tell you where Frank is? Why can’t you just call him instead of going all the way to Boise?”

  “I told you before, Paula,” Trisha said. “Audrey has asked him a few times to tell her where Frank is, and he’s refused every time. I doubt that he would agree to tell me on the phone. Face to face, though, I think, or at least I hope, I can convince him to.” Trisha sighed. “If not, I at least hope he’ll let me have Frank’s phone number so I can call him.”

  Paula smiled at her. “I’ll pray that everything works out. I’m rooting for you and Frank. I’m so glad that Stan is out of the picture. I actually regret encouraging you to date him when we were teenagers.”

  “Well, what’s important now is that we all learn from our past mistakes, and I have been an expert at making mistakes.” She picked up her purse from Paula’s sofa. “It’s time to go.” She hugged Paula and kissed Ruby’s cheeks again.

  “Mama,” Ruby cried.

  “Mama will be back in no time,” Paula said.

  Trisha waved to her best friend an
d her daughter and then left the house quickly. She got in her car and began the drive to the airport. All the way there, she struggled to stay positive, while a voice in her head kept insisting that her trip would be in vain.

  She read a novel throughout her flight to Boise in order to keep her mind from dwelling on negative thoughts about the outcome of her trip. When she arrived at the airport in Boise, she immediately took a taxi to the address Frank had given her months before.

  She exited the taxi when it stopped in front of Frank’s restaurant. She looked up at the building and smiled. “Frankly Eating,” she said quietly, reading the name engraved on the roof of the restaurant.

  She stepped into the restaurant and wasn’t surprised to find it was very busy even though it wasn’t a weekend. She sat at the table the hostess led her to and then asked the young woman if the co-owner of the restaurant, Nick Carrington, was in today. When she was told he was, she asked if she could speak with him and told the hostess to tell him her name was Trisha Coleman. The lady started to walk away and she quickly called her back. “I’m sorry. Tell him it’s Trisha Gardner.”

  The hostess nodded and went away.

  Trisha sighed. She hadn’t changed her surname back to her maiden name after she’d divorced Stan because she couldn’t be bothered. She’d decided not to ever be in a relationship again after the way Stan had treated her. Now that she was sure that she wanted to be with Frank, she needed to change it as soon as possible.

  A waitress came and Trisha ordered a mocktail. She looked around the busy restaurant as she waited so as to distract herself from worrying. When her drink arrived five minutes later, she took sips while she continued to wait.

  Ten minutes later, a young man she guessed was Nick strode toward her, an impatient expression on his face. When he reached her table, he gave her a tight smile. “I was told you wanted to speak with me,” he said.

  She smiled widely. “Yes. I’m Trisha Gardner—”

  “I know who you are,” he cut in. His smile had dropped off his face. “What do you want?”

  She refused to let the antagonism in his voice scare her. With her smile firmly in place, she said, “I’ve been trying to reach Frank Kessler but haven’t been able to. My sister, who is a close friend of his, told me you said Frank had moved to another country, but you wouldn’t tell her what country it is.”