Emotional Beats
Page 1
NICHOLAS C. ROSSIS
EMOTIONAL BEATS:
HOW TO EASILY
CONVERT YOUR WRITING
INTO PALPABLE FEELINGS
To the wonderful friends I’ve made on this journey. I hope these notes are as helpful to you as they have been to me.
CONTENTS
* * *
CONTENTS
Give me a beat
Name that emotion
Tag! You’re it.
Talking Heads and How to Avoid them
How to use this book
PART 1: FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS
Anger
Eyes
Face and Head
Hands
Voice
Desire
Blushing
Eyes
Hair*
Kissing, Hugging, Other Beats
Fear and nervousness
Body
Breath
Clothes
Eyes
Face, head
Hair
Hands
Heart and blood
Laughter
Legs and feet
Other
Physical symptoms
Shivers
Smile
Stomach
Sweat
Throat, neck and shoulders
Indifference
Shrugs
Waves
Interest
Eyes
Hands & Feet
Head
Relaxation
Neck and shoulders
Joy
Feet
Hands
Laughter
Smile
Sadness
Crying
Sighs
Pain
Surprise
Worry
Frowns
Signs of trouble
PART 2: BODY PARTS
The eyes have it
He looked, she looked
How do I look?
Facial expressions
Do you hear what I hear?
Out of the mouth…
Breath
Hands and legs
Nods, head and back
PART 3: OTHER BEATS
Analogies, Metaphors and Similes
Chairs, windows and furniture
Clothes
Doors
Driving
Fights
Horses
Houses and Scenery
Hunger, drinks and food
Light
Other
Seafaring
Walking and moving (I)
Walking and moving (II)
Waking up and beds
Weather, Skies and views
PART 4: EXTRAS
1000 Verbs to Write By
For “entered”
For “felt, seemed, showed, looked like”
For “had, held”
For “heard”
For “hit”
For “jumped”
For “left, exited”
For “lie down, lay”
For “looked, saw”
For “pulled”
For “pushed”
For “put”
For “reacted”
For “smelled”
For “stood”
For “tasted”, “drank”
For “thought, remembered”
For “took”
For “touched”
For “turned”
For “was, were”
For “walked” or “ran”
Describing Death
List of Common Synonyms
Words don’t come easy
Sensory Words
Hearing
Other Senses
Movement
Other sensory words
Using Smell
Professional Examples
Ways to Describe Crying
Ways to Describe Snoring
Ways to Describe Writing
Acknowledgments
About the author
Notes from the author
Give me a beat
* * *
In some ways, writing resembles painting. You, the artist, find the perfect subject and capture it on paper as best as you can. As with painting, this can be done in either broad brush strokes, or fine ones. The detail can be photographic or minimal. And the materials used can make all the difference between a masterpiece and a run-of-the-mill product.
To add emotion, painters use color. Some buy the best colors they can find on the market; others mix them themselves. Like descriptions in a book, paintings can be vibrant or subdued, depending on the emotion the artist wishes to convey.
To achieve the same effect, writers use colorful words. One of the best tools available to them is beats. Google defines beats as follows:
“Beats are descriptions of physical action—minor or major—that fall between lines of speech to punch up your dialogue. When a character raises an eyebrow or furrows his brow, this action, or beat, interrupts the dialogue and telegraphs a change in the character's emotional state.”
Beats are especially useful in the context of the familiar “show, don’t tell” guideline. This collection of some of the best beats I’ve read and written can be your best friend when you struggle to think of a novel way to convey an emotion without naming it. Read on to find out how!
Name that emotion
“Show, don’t tell,” everyone says.
Why?
Because of the way our brains are wired. If you don’t name the emotion you are trying to describe, the emotional resonance is actually much stronger. As soon as you name an emotion, however, your readers slip into thinking mode. And when they think about an emotion, they distance themselves from the actual experience of feeling it.
So, the next question is, how? How can we show anger, fear, indifference, and the whole range of emotions that characterize the human experience?
Until a few years ago, the answer might have been simple: add an adverb. For example:
He fearfully stepped onto the ladder.
This is simple and unassuming. But, for today’s author, unacceptable. “Lazy writing,” your writing coach would say, suggesting instead that you use a beat. For example, you could describe your character’s actions along the lines of:
He placed one uncertain foot on the ladder and raised his body. Will it hold, he wondered. He closed his eyes for a second, expecting the worn step to give way. When it didn’t, he placed his second foot on the next step. His temples felt damp. He resisted the urge to wipe them, his fingers clutching instead the railing even harder. The ladder held. So far.
Much better, right? It is richer; immediate; deeper. It draws the reader in; makes them want to read more.
Let’s see another example:
Sally felt anxious.
This is a perfect example of a sentence just begging for a beat. So, how about using one to show us instead of telling us?
Sally clutched the hem of her dress, then forced herself to release it and straightened the fabric with long, nervous strokes.
Isn’t that more engaging? Still, there is a little more fun to be had.
Tag! You’re it.
Beats are great when used as an alternative to dialogue tags. Instead of using the tired ol’ “he said-she said,” you can use a beat to indicate whose turn it is to speak. Adding dialogue to the previous example, is there any doubt it is Sally doing the talking?
Sally clutched the hem of her dress. “I don’t know.” She forced herself to release the dress and straightened the fabric with long, nervous strokes. “I really don’t know.”
You can use beats this way not only to avoid excessive dialogue tags, but also to color
dialogue with any sort of emotion—in the case of poor Sally, nervousness.
Talking Heads and How to Avoid them
* * *
Talking heads are like comics with nothing but heads and dialogue balloons, placed on a white background. There is no action nor settings; just dialogue.
Not me, you say. I have lavished page upon page of detailed descriptions of the surroundings.
And yet, if you have no activity within the dialogue, you can still cause a sense of disengagement between the environment and your characters.
Author Elizabeth George mentions the following goals of such activity:
To keep a scene from showing talking heads;
To reveal meaningful insights about characters by showing something interesting they are doing;
To reveal something key about the plot;
To bring depth by having the activity be a metaphor or something symbolic in the story.
So, keep in mind that your beats can do much more than pace the dialogue. Try to avoid using nothing but the simple, “she sipped her tea” variety: as George points out, beats are most effective when they reveal something about the character or the plot.
How to use this book
* * *
I’ll let you in on a secret: my first drafts are full of telling and dialogue, with nothing in between but nods, shrugs, and frowns. Which makes for rather terrible writing.
That’s because I only care about telling the story. Turning it into an engaging read is left for the second draft. And that’s where beats come in.
When I first started writing, I struggled to imagine the right beat for every situation. So, whenever I came up with a great one, I wrote it down for future reference. I did the same when I read a beautiful beat by another author, and went, “what a great way to show X emotion.”
It wasn’t long before I started jotting down beats and ideas onto a helpful document, imaginatively enough titled “help.doc.”
This book contains some of the best beats I have found or written. These are listed first by emotion, then by body part. The next parts include various lovely generic beats and extra information I have come across.
You can use these as inspiration when in search of the perfect dialogue beat. Use them as a way to avoid talking heads. Use them to color your writing. Use them as a shortcut to start polishing that terrible first draft. By building your own beats around these, I hope you find them as useful in your writing, as I do in mine.
PART 1: FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS
Anger
* * *
Many of anger’s physical reactions are also common to both fear and anger—for example, the heart beating faster. The following beats, however, are particular to anger:
Eyes
He shot her a venomous look.
He shot her a furious glance.
She speared him with another glare.
He shot a glare up at her to silence her.
She shot him a glare, but there was still a twinkle in her eye.
She looked him in the eyes and he looked straight back into hers.
He held her gaze for a moment before looking away without a word.
A groan accompanied the roll of his eyes.
His eyes were stormy.
Her eyes widened.
He glared at her without blinking.
Darkness crossed his eyes.
She skewered him with an unflinching look.
Accepting the glaring anger that poured from her eyes, he kept her tight against him.
Her eyes darkened.
Her angry gaze sliced his face.
She flayed him with her gaze.
He leveled a glowering look.
She shifted her angry glare to his face.
She met his unrelenting stare.
His eyes burned fanatically.
She gave him a look designed to peel his hide.
Her eyes flashed with anger.
Her eyes narrowed to crinkled slits.
She skewered him with a look.
She shot him a sour look.
He shot a glare at her.
She treated him with a look of unmitigated fury.
She caught him in a dark gaze.
His eyes squeezed into thin slits.
Face and Head
Boiling with fury, he ground his teeth and clenched his jaw so tight, it hurt.
An infinitesimal twitch in her lips that told him he had hit the mark.
His nostrils flared.
He could hear the blood rushing through his head.
His jaw clenched.
He gritted his teeth so hard, his jaw ached.
He ground his teeth.
Her head flew back.
He gritted his teeth for control.
Heat burned his cheeks.
Anger spiraled from the pit of her stomach.
Anger swelled in her guts.
Anger churned in her chest.
She snorted with derision.
Her frustration bubbled at her face.
His expression grew turbulent.
Hands
His hands dropped to his sides to form clenched fists of tension.
Her hands squeezed/tightened into fists.
She clenched/balled her fists.
He slammed his hand on the table.
She pounded her fist on the table.
He shoved back his chair and slammed his fist on the table.
He slammed his fist on the table, his nostrils flaring.
His palms stung from digging his fingernails into them.
He gripped the arm of the chair.
Her nails cut into the heel of her hand as she tightened it around the bar.
She wagged her finger at him.
He jerked a thumb in her direction.
His fingers drummed the mattress.
With a swoop of her arm, she flung the stone in a shallow arc.
He tapped his foot.
She stomped her foot.
She pumped a fist.
He thrust his fists in the air.
She punched the air.
She extended her middle finger toward him.
He gave her the finger.
She let the door slam in her wake—just enough of a bang to register one final protest.
Her fists drew up like angry stones.
Her slap rang loudly in his ears; his cheek throbbed at the suddenness of it all.
Voice
He howled.
She hollered.
He barked.
She bellowed.
She roared.
He cried out.
She grunted.
“No,” she rasped.
“No,” she exploded.
“No,” she snapped at him.
He spat the words out through gritted teeth. Frustration and disdain were wrapped up in his instruction.
“Listen to me,” he said, emphasizing each of the last three words.
She spat out the words.
…he said in a croaky voice.
A twinge of anger laced his voice.
He grated.
He started to speak, but huffed out a breath first.
She choked out.
His voice/response was laced with irritation/impatience/frustration/anger.
He growled.
He retorted.
He shot back.
He snapped.
He panted.
He groaned.
He snarled.
He stammered.
He exhaled a groan rivaling a rusty hinge.
Every statement emerged as a growl.
"What?" he barked in answer.
He flung a handful of words at her through the open window.
…she mumbled, sucking back the bitter taste of past rejections.
The man’s laughter dumped hot coals into the pit of her belly.
Something bitter dripped from her tone.
Her voice caught an angry swath through the air.
&nb
sp; She swore, tasting the bitter words. Their immediate heat burned her tongue and she worked her mouth to savor their rough, jagged edges.
…he said, his voice a sharp bite.
A hushed tone wedged itself between his words.
Desire
* * *
Many of the reactions mentioned in surprise, fear and nervousness may also be present with desire; for example, an increased heart rate; a reddening of the cheeks; talking faster etc. Here are some physical reactions pertaining to desire alone:
A low and pleasant hum warmed his blood.
Her brain fizzled.
She forgot her left from her right.
Her thoughts wouldn’t line up. Every time she tried to align one, it tumbled down, scattering the rest.
She imagined herself melting, just sliding onto the floor in a puddle of hormones and liquid lust.
Thinking about it gave her sharp palpitations.
Those feelings took over and turned her mind to mush.
The thought turned her mind into a buzzing mess of static.
She clasped him to her.
Her face lit up.
Every hair on his scalp stood to attention, every skin cell tingled, every neuron fired.
Warmth spread across his chest.
His heart pounded hard as she finally came to a halt before him, inches from his face.
…he said, his breath tickling her ear.
…she asked, her voice a bare whisper in the night.
With a crooking of her index finger, she beckoned him over.
…his body draped all over her.
He brushed his hand across her cheek.
She tapped a finger on his lips.
He grabbed her hand and brought it to his mouth, pressing a soft kiss to her knuckles.
She hooked an arm.
She gave him the thumbs up.
She put her hands on her hips.
She rested a hand on his hip.
…she said in a husky voice.
The heat from his hand burned her skin.