Reality Check

by Jen Calonita

  “I'm so glad you guys are here,” Susan says, and proceeds to give us all kisses on the cheek. “I have a ton of people who are dying to meet you. They're on the back patio cooling off. It's a bit stuffy in here. They tell me they have the AC on, but with all these bodies, it feels like a sauna. Shall we go?” Susan asks. It doesn't sound like we have a choice.

  She leads the way outside, me following close behind, my hand firmly around Hallie's, and hopefully she has the chain behind her. I'm afraid it's going to be cold since it's early April, but there are several heat lamps keeping the area warm and toasty. A group of well-dressed men and women are sitting around a table, some smoking, some laughing, but all noise stops when they see us, and I have the strangest feeling that they know exactly who we are.

  “Everyone, I'd like you to meet Charlie, Hallie, Brooke, and Keiran.”

  People immediately get up to shake our hands and introduce themselves. We already know Jarred, an executive who took part in the conversations with Susan and our parents. The other names start flying and I hear Chloe, Jesse, and I think Sebastian. Not that I'll remember who is who. It's my one journalistic flaw. Good reporters remember every detail thrown at them, but I'm bad with names. Zac likes to joke that I wouldn't remember my own name under pressure.

  “Wow, we've got a fan club already,” I say, aware that everyone is staring.

  “Please sit down,” says one of the suits as he pulls out chairs for us. “Do you want something to drink? Have you eaten? They make the best homemade ricotta gnocchi. It's not being served tonight, but we can have them whip it up for you.”

  “Oooh, that sounds delish! I'll have one,” Hallie says.

  How she's a size two, I have no idea. The girl eats enough to feed all of us. Brooke is sitting between me and Hallie. I feel her leg move and then a stomp. I think she's just stepped on Hallie's foot.

  “Never mind,” Hallie says glumly, giving Brooke a nasty look.

  “I'll order them for all of you,” he says with a crooked smile and glances at Susan.

  “That would be great, thanks,” I say before anyone can object. “The truth is, I am hungry.” Now Brooke hits me. “Well, I am! I'm sure people in the Hamptons eat just like we do, Brooke.”

  Susan laughs. “I told you she was funny,” she says to the group.

  I'm not trying to be funny. My stomach is growling. Brooke was so busy doing makeovers that we didn't get to eat dinner. Then when Hallie wanted to order pizza, Brooke balked, fearing the grease would ruin our outfits. Or should I say, her outfits, which we had on loan.

  Susan smiles brightly, revealing what I'm sure are laser-whitened teeth. “So, are you four excited about the show? Once you sign on the dotted line we'll probably start shooting in the coming weeks.”

  The four of us look at each other and try not to flash Cheshire Cat grins. “You mean you definitely want us?” I ask tentatively.

  Susan and the others laugh. “Yes, Charlie, we really want you. We wouldn't be doing all this if we didn't. You're exactly what we've been looking for.”

  My heart feels like it's going to thump out of my chest. We're exactly what Fire and Ice has been looking for? Four girls from Cliffside on Long Island?

  This. Is. So. Cool.

  Brooke squeals and starts shaking me violently. “I told you! I can't believe it. This is really going to happen.”

  Susan takes a sip of red wine. “It's a real offer, if you want it.”

  “Absolutely,” Brooke jumps in, changing her octave to something sounding uber-professional, like she always does when we're shopping somewhere expensive and she wants to know if anything is on sale. “As we said at dinner yesterday, we're completely on board.”

  “I think we all have a few more questions if that's okay,” Keiran interrupts, looking straight at Susan to avoid Brooke's piercing stare. “One thing you haven't really gone over is the idea behind the show.” I try not to smirk. I'm proud of Kiki for saying what's on her mind, even when Brooke doesn't want her to.

  “Smart question,” says one of the suits, the one I think is Sebastian.

  “I want you to feel like this is your show,” Susan tells us, and leans forward. “And I promise there will be time to answer any additional questions and concerns you have before we do contracts.” She smiles. “But tonight is about celebrating! We wanted to invite you here tonight to meet the Fire and Ice family and experience what it would be like to be part of our network. I really think you'll like it here,” Susan tells us. “The network likes to say I have killer instinct,” she adds. “When I saw you four, I knew I had found my stars. I was eavesdropping on Charlie all week while I pretended to read Oprah's latest book pick,” she tells the table, and a few people laugh. My mouth opens in surprise. I thought Susan was really reading! “And when Charlie told me about you three, and I finally got to see you interact, I was impressed with how mature you all were, how close you seemed, how you could finish each other's sentences.”

  “She was hooked, plain and simple,” says a woman with salt-and-pepper hair who looks a little older than the others. “Susan called us right away and said she'd found her stars for The Cliffs.”

  “The Cliffs?” Hallie repeats.

  “That's what I want to call the show,” Susan explains. “Catchy, no?”

  “But our town is called Cliffside,” Keiran says slowly.

  “In television, we call this poetic license,” Sebastian says with a laugh. “The Cliffs sounds hotter than Cliffside.”

  “We toyed with Beach Babes too, but that seemed too Playboy,” says someone else and everyone laughs.

  “The Cliffs works for me,” I say quickly. I do not want to be a Beach Babe.

  “We want a look at what life is like in your town,” Susan adds. “Something real for a change. What you girls do for fun, who you hang out with, what your dreams are, what your friendships entail. Everything.”

  “We have plenty of material for that,” Brooke gushes.

  “We couldn't be happier to do just that,” I say carefully, “and I'm glad you think we're so intriguing. I certainly do not want to change your mind, but…” I hesitate when Brooke nudges me.

  Susan looks at me curiously, which makes me nervous.

  “It's okay, Charlie, continue.”

  “Of all the places to set a new show, why did you pick Cliffside?” I ask. “It doesn't seem sceney enough for Fire and Ice. Our population is less than five thousand people. Half the roads in town don't even have street lights. Every shop on Main Street closes at six PM. And the most exciting activity we have this spring is the strawberry festival.” I gesture at the rooms inside. “I would think you would find much better material on this fork.”

  “I love how blunt she is,” someone whispers.

  I glance quickly at Brooke. Her face is hard. I know what she's thinking: Another Charlie Moment. A Charlie Moment is when I get out of the backseat to take charge—I hate when things don't go according to plan, which is why I'm our organizer, but Brooke is our star. She likes to shine, but here I am commanding the room. Or should I say the patio.

  “That's just it, Charlie,” Susan says, placing her tanned elbows on the table and leaning closer to me. “We know what the Hamptons are like. In fact, we know too much. This place has become almost a caricature of itself. And the west coast, with Laguna Beach, The Hills, even The OC, that's tapped out. We want seaside life and a coastal town, but we want real life, not a celebrity-reality.”

  “Even if that real life sometimes is boring?” I ask.

  “Your lives aren't boring,” Susan insists. “You have school, some of you have jobs, you have love lives, you have fights, friendships, families. How could that be boring?”

  “Everyone has those,” Hallie points out.

  Susan and Sebastian (or is it Steve? I think there was a Steve too) look at each other. “I have a hunch that you girls are what I'm looking for,” Susan says simply. “You are all gorgeous, and the scenery in your town is breathtaking.”
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  “It is?” I ask incredulously.

  “The docks, the beach, the quaint storefronts, Milk and Sugar,” Susan rattles off. “We love it! And viewers will too.”

  “I never thought of our town that way,” Keiran enthuses.

  “Me either,” I admit, and I love where I live. It would be cool to see Cliffside get a place on the map.

  “We're looking for a reality version of, say, One Tree Hill or The Secret Life of the American Teenager, only without the pregnancy. We hope,” explains Sebastian. “That's what we think we've found with this concept and you four.”

  “Plus we have the most amazing camera crews,” someone else adds. “Have you seen Surf's Up? That beach the guys are on was practically all rocks till we came in and cleaned it up and now we shoot the best angles we can. It looks like a painting. You'd want to vacation there tomorrow.”

  “So you're going to revamp the beach?” Hallie asks, confused.

  “No, no, we just mean we're here to take what you have and enhance it,” Susan tries to explain, but I'm not really sure what she's getting at. Nor do I care. They want us to be their version of Secret Life! Sign me up, pronto!

  “I know my parents are still concerned about the workload,” Keiran mentions. “Would you be taping us at school too? We forgot to ask you that yesterday.”

  “Kiki,” Brooke says through gritted teeth, “Susan said we'd go over this all at our meeting. We're not here tonight to do business.” Keiran blushes.

  Susan shakes her head. “It's okay, Brooke. I was going to tell you all this when we met again this week. We just got word from the town and they won't give us permission to tape on school property. Everything we shoot will be off-campus.”

  I guess it would be a bit disruptive to have cameras taping Mr. Donald during chemistry.

  “We're going to shoot you around town, at work, at each other's homes,” says the older woman again. “We'll be checking in with you constantly about your schedules and then choosing where to film accordingly. You won't be filming every day or all day. We want you to still have a life.”

  That sounds pretty fair.

  Just then the back patio door opens, changing the noise level instantly. I see a tall, thin girl in stilettos. She's wearing an amazing gold tank dress and her collarbone-length dark brown hair is flyaway-free.

  “Susan, I'm going to cut out and head over to Saracen in Wainscott to meet some friends, so I wanted to say good night,” the girl says in a deep voice, and I realize immediately that she's—

  “Peggy Pierce!” Brooke freaks.

  The girl smiles. “In the flesh.”

  “Pegs, do you have a sec to meet the girls?” Susan asks. “They're about to sign on to do our newest reality show, The Cliffs. Anything you can tell them?”

  Peggy's face lights up. “This has been the absolutely best experience of my life.” She nudges Brooke. “And the money and the fame are to die for.” Brooke looks like she may pass out.

  “As you guys may know, I scouted Peggy off the street too,” Susan adds.

  “At a Baskin-Robbins, right?” I ask. Susan nods. I remember reading the Cinderella story. Peggy was scooping rocky road when someone at Fire and Ice (apparently Susan) approached her and asked if she'd ever considered hosting shows before. Peggy was on air in a month and quickly replaced the original Firing Up! countdown host, Lauren Zeale. Now she's even fielding movie roles. Could this show do the same for us? Make Brooke an actress? Land me a writing gig? Hey, Lauren Conrad got that fashion internship at Teen Vogue. What would be wrong with me getting an internship at Glamour ? This opportunity could open a ton of doors.

  “Could you take a quick picture with the girls before you go?” Sebastian asks.

  Brooke is up from the table before she even answers. Keiran hurries to Peggy's other side and Hallie drapes herself over Keiran. I join them and someone takes a few pictures with Brooke's camera.

  “Thanks, Pegs,” Susan says. “See you tomorrow for lunch?”

  “Totally,” says Peggy. She grabs my arm. “Hopefully I'll see you guys soon too. You have to join the family just for the holiday party. The gift bag is killer.” She air kisses and then scoots back through the patio door.

  Susan smirks. “Charlie, you look a little starstruck.”

  “It's not that,” I say. “I can't get over how good she looks in person. I thought no one looked as good in person as they did on TV.”

  Sebastian chuckles. “That's usually true.”

  “So, girls, what do you think about Peggy, the network, your new lives?” Susan asks with a wide smile.

  I'm the first to answer. “I think I've never heard anything more exciting in my entire life.”

  four

  Signed, Sealed, Delivered, We're Yours

  Talk about warp speed. The following Friday, the four of us and our families are in New York City to sign on the dotted line at the Fire and Ice Network offices. We are such a large group that we take over the reception area. The woman monitoring the phones can barely squeeze through us to get from her desk to her printer. She doesn't look too happy about it.

  “Charlie,” my mother whispers. She's sitting next to me wearing her favorite black pants and a red blouse, and she had her light brown hair blown out for the occasion. “Look at that wall. Is that an autograph from Gwen Stefani?”

  I try to look without appearing too obvious. Yep, that's Gwen Stefani. I try to nod. Discreetly.

  “Check out the other wall,” my dad whispers. “Susan has autographs from Chris Rock, George Clooney, and Jay-Z! Can you imagine? She told me the other day that she can even get me one from Harrison Ford. She agreed that we definitely look alike.”

  Mom and I exchange quick glances. Dad has always thought he looks like Indiana Jones. Mom and I don't see the resemblance, but we've never wanted to burst his bubble.

  “Pretty soon our girls are going to be on this wall right next to that spunky little Selena Gomez,” says Hallie's mom proudly. She hugs Hallie tightly and Hallie winces.

  Parents can be so embarrassing.

  We've been at the offices all morning. First they had us meet with the programming department and public relations. (I like to think part of the meet-and-greet was an informal interview session to make sure we were as normal as Susan claimed we were.) After a quick lunch—on the house in the funky Fire and Ice cafeteria—it was time to get down to the serious stuff: signing contracts, and doing an interview for the show and our future crew.

  “Charlotte Reed?” the receptionist asks as she deftly puts two calls on hold and answers a third with her wireless headset.

  I stand up, almost knocking into Mom's and Hallie's mom's heads since they're still whispering about Susan's wall of fame. “Yes?” I squeak.

  “Susan will see you and your parents now.”

  “Should the rest of us come too?” Keiran's mom asks. “The girls are on the show together. We still can't believe they're going to be on TV! I always knew they were stars, but—”

  “Susan wants to see the lead first,” the receptionist cuts her off and I start to flush. “Then she'll see the rest of you.” She turns back to the phone ringing off the hook and picks it up.

  “What else are the girls doing today?” Brooke's mom asks.

  “Susan will explain,” the receptionist says briskly, covering the headset mouthpiece, but that brush-off won't work on this group. The parents surround her desk in seconds. Keiran, Hallie, and Brooke look mortified. I look back at them apologetically as I hurry through Susan's open door and away from the stampede.

  “Charlie! Mr. and Mrs. Reed! I'm so glad you could make it today.” Susan is sitting behind a large mahogany desk, but as soon as she sees me, she springs up and extends her tanned, toned arm. A diamond tennis bracelet dangles on her delicate wrist. Her hair is down again today, ironed straight, and she's wearing a fitted black pantsuit. “I'm sorry I haven't been down to see you yet today. It's a little hectic around here. Things have been going well, I hope?”


  “Absolutely. We're having a lovely time,” Mom says, sounding as if we've popped over for tea. She takes in the high-tech, sleek-but-cold room around her. “And please, call me Katherine.”

  Susan's office is huge, and one side is completely covered in floor-to-ceiling windows that look out onto Times Square. On the other three walls hang awards and photographs of Susan with more celebrities. There's a large, framed poster of the annual Fire and Ice Charity Ball autographed by last year's celebrity attendees. Susan's desk is metal, and her chairs are orange molded plastic ones that look cheap, but you know they aren't. Otherwise, the office is pretty empty, like she is moving. There are no papers on her desk, just a state-of-the-art iMac, a desk blotter, and a small clock.

  “Have a seat.” Susan motions to the chairs in front of her desk. There are two, but someone has brought in a few folding chairs and Dad sits awkwardly on one. He's pretty tall and his knees hit Susan's desk when he sits down.

  “I wanted to meet with each of you girls one final time,” Susan says efficiently, sitting down and placing her elbows on her desk. “I wanted to make sure you didn't have any other questions before I send you off to sign papers with your lawyer and ours. After that, we wanted to have you film an interview where we'll gather more information about you for the show. Then you can have dinner,” she says with an easy smile. “We made reservations for everyone at Gagliano's, this great Italian restaurant, and the bill is on us.”

  “That works for me.” Dad laughs loudly and I cringe.

  “What kind of interview do you have to do with the girls today?” Mom asks.

  “Just standard questions,” Susan says as she focuses directly on each of us. “Things we need to know about the girls before we start so our producers can shape the show and get a better feel for the subjects they're dealing with.”