Bad Vampire: A Snarky Paranormal Detective Story (A Cat McKenzie Novel Book 1)

by Lauren Dawes

  “So, how does it work?” I asked one sunny afternoon as I launched a crumpled-up ball of paper left-handed into the recycling bin. “You just get furry once a month?”

  “More than once a month if I want to,” he replied.

  “What color is your fur?”

  He pointed to his dark hair. “Same color as this.”

  “Is your wife a werewolf?”

  “Mate, and yes.”

  “Mate.” I tried the word out. “So that means your kids are werewolves too, right?”

  “Yep.”

  I grabbed another piece of scrap paper, crushing it in my palm. “Does it hurt, the shift?”

  He nodded. “It’s like getting your bones broken, scrambled up, and reset, all while getting an all-over body wax finished off with an acid wash.”

  “Stop, you’re making it sound so fun,” I replied, sarcasm heavy in my voice, then grinned. “Do you control the wolf, or does the wolf control you?”

  He took another shot, this one bouncing off the edge of the bin. “Ninety-nine percent of the time, I control it. The only time I let go of that control is when I’m running on our pack’s land. We can’t hurt anyone there, so it’s the only place that’s safe to do it.”

  “Do you enjoy being a werewolf?” I took my next shot, pumping my fist in the air when it landed without hitting the sides.

  “I do. It’s the best feeling, knowing my pack—my family—have my back no matter what.” He took his shot and missed with a curse.

  “I wouldn’t know what that felt like,” I said softly, crushing the paper ball in my fist into a more compact sphere.

  “Family?”

  I nodded and sat back in my chair. “Yeah. I don’t have one anymore.”

  “Sure you do,” he replied. “What do you think we are to you now?”

  “Work colleagues?” I hedged.

  He made an obnoxious game show buzzer sound. “Forget that, Cat. You’re one of us. A family.”

  “A family of misfits,” I shot back with a smile. “But that’s okay, because I’m a misfit too.”

  He laughed and stared pointedly at Reaver, who was laid out on top of my desk. “Yes, you are. I’ve never met a human followed around by a sword before.”

  I glanced over at said sword, giving it a soft smile. “It’s saved my life a lot these last few days.”

  “Which is also fucking strange. Do you know where we got Reaver from?” I shook my head. “A fallen angel. Yeah, we stripped it from him when he was processed for a misdemeanor crime about two months ago.”

  I opened my mouth to ask for more details, then shut it. Some things were better off being mysteries. And some things were better off simply embraced without question. As we played paper hoops, I turned over Brax’s words in my head. I was an orphan for all intents and purposes, and now being an adult, that shouldn’t have such an impact on me, but as a human, I had needs. Love and protection were what I’d always craved. Mrs. Brown had provided a lot of what my mother could no longer give me, but I thought my father had stopped thinking about me and was solely focused on revenge.

  Had I found that love and protection again here at PIG? I smiled to myself and nailed my last shot.

  “You owe me a beer,” I crowed as I did a shuffled version of my victory dance. Brax only laughed and beaned me with one of his paper balls.

  “I’ll let you drain the whole damn bar if you stop dancing like that. I can’t unsee that now, Cat. Seriously.”

  On Friday afternoon, I went to my regular appointment to see Joanna Wong. As I limped into her office, she gave me a wide-eyed look. Once I was settled, she sat down in the armchair opposite me, her notepad balanced on her knee and her pencil at the ready.

  “So, how are you feeling today, Cat?”

  I grinned. “You are not going to believe the week I’ve had.”

  Did you love Cat & Sawyer?

  You can pre-order “Bad Witch” - book #2 in the Cat McKenzie series right now! Keep reading for a sneak peek of “Bad Witch.”

  A rookie cop. A team of supernatural detectives. A power hungry witch on a killing spree.

  My name is Cat McKenzie, and I’m in over my damn head.

  I’d finally come to grips with the fact that not all supernaturals are a**holes when the witch downstairs is murdered and I’m rescued from certain death by the fae assassin responsible for revealing the existence of supernaturals to humans six months ago.

  That’s not the best bit though.

  Said fae wants me and my partner to look into the death of his niece, and he made us an offer we can’t refuse…

  Just like in a bad mob movie.

  Clandestine groups, magical artifacts and a growing headache, all I want to do is get into my fuzzy unicorn pajamas and crawl into bed. Like hell that’s going to happen anytime soon.

  Bad Witch

  Chapter One

  Tell me if you’ve heard this one before…

  You come home from therapy and there’s a vampire at the door.

  No?

  I guess it only happens to me.

  I slowed my steps as I approached my apartment, questions swirling around my head. Alistair de Champ turned when I was about ten feet away, his green eyes glowing in the artificial light of the hallway. At first glance, he looked like any other human would. On closer inspection, though, there was a layer of danger that surrounded him, and right now, my primitive brain was screaming at me to run.

  Run like fucking Forrest.

  I didn’t want a vampire at my front door, and I certainly didn’t want one inside my apartment. Moving closer, he seemed to stop breathing… well, maybe not breathing. He was a vampire, after all, but he did become very, very still.

  Coming to a stop a healthy distance away, I swallowed. “I didn’t take you for a Girl Scout.” I made a show of glancing around at his feet. “No Thin Mints?”

  He flashed me a fang-filled smile that I guessed he thought was comforting, but it only made me want to hide under my bed. As I waited for him to tell me what he was doing there, I let my eyes drift down his body, taking in the expensive charcoal gray suit, the crisp white dress shirt and his blood-red tie.

  Hello, vampire movie cliché!

  Jogging the keys in my hand for a moment, I began walking again. I hadn’t seen him in a little over two weeks, not since my partner Sawyer and I went to visit his mistress on the hunt for information about a ticked off vampire who had it in for me.

  Yup, just another day in the life of Cat McKenzie.

  “Mind telling me what you’re doing here?” I asked cautiously.

  His eyes drifted to the brace on my knee outside my jeans. Dammit, I hated to show weakness, especially to a supe.

  “I have a message to deliver.”

  “Ever heard of a phone?”

  He smiled without warmth. “It’s not that kind of message.”

  “Okay, well, I’m here. What’s the message?”

  Alistair stared at me with all the emotion of a hungry shark. “Perhaps I should come in. I doubt you’d want your neighbors to overhear the conversation.” When he saw me hesitate, he added, “I swear no harm will come to you by my hand if that is what’s concerning you.”

  “A lot of things concern me,” I replied curtly. “Teenage pregnancy. Gen Z’s obsession with vanity, selfies and IG filters. Running out of toilet paper during a zombie apocalypse. Just don’t expect me to offer you a drink.” When I slid the key into the lock, the teeth chattered along the tumbler, echoing like gunshots in my ears…

  Or my death knells.

  Christ, I hoped I was doing the right thing.

  I stepped inside, placing my keys onto the hook on the wall, but Alistair stayed exactly where he was. Staring at me.

  “Are you just going to stand there all night?”

  “I can’t come in until you invite me.”

  I bit my tongue to stop myself from laughing. “Seriously? That’s a legitimate rule?”

  “Unfortunately.” />
  Peering over at the couch, I saw my back-up plan—Reaver—propped up against the arm. It was a perplexing sword that seemed to be rather attached to me, following me around and showing up whenever I really needed it. I’d unwittingly whet with my blood, causing it to become even more attached to me.

  Content that the mysterious angel sword had my back against the big bad vampire, I swept my arm out in an overly exaggerated welcoming gesture. “Then please, won’t you come in.”

  The vampire bobbed his head in thanks, his blond curls voluminous and dancing around his head. I wondered what kind of shampoo he used because his hair was ah-mazing. He held his breath as he stepped over the threshold like he was expecting to spontaneously burst into flames or something. When he didn’t become a fireball, I closed the door behind him.

  “So, to what do I owe the pleasure of you showing up on my doorstep like a stray dog?” I asked, wandering into the kitchen. I pulled open the cutlery drawer and took out a wooden spoon. Shoving it handle-first into my knee brace, I groaned in relief as I scratched the itch that had been bothering me all day long.

  I’d hurt it two weeks ago trying to find out who was making baby vampires. My shoulder—which I’d injured when my truck was hit by a semi, with me in it—had come out of the sling about a week ago. Aside from some stiffness, I was healing well.

  The vampire’s upper lip screwed up in distaste as I jettisoned the cooking utensil on the counter and shuffled toward the fridge.

  “I’m going to pretend you used another simile.”

  I made a waving motion with my hand. “Go right ahead, but know that in here…” I tapped my temple with my index finger, “… I’m imagining you as a cute little teacup pug.”

  He actually growled at me. “My mistress sent me.”

  I paused as I reached for a bottle of water. Roxanne Monroe, mistress of the Buxton Vampire Kiss, was one of those supes who scared my extra pair of big girl pants off of me. “What does she want?”

  Alistair slowly walked around my apartment, stopping to look at some of my ceramic unicorn statues on a shelf next to the TV. Glancing at me over his shoulder, he pointed at a unicorn farting glitter and raised his eyebrows.

  Huffing, I said, “What? Everyone needs a hobby.”

  “Yes, but I thought yours would’ve been guns or something.”

  “I much prefer wooden stakes and holy water.”

  You can pre-order “Bad Witch” - book #2 in the Cat McKenzie series right now!

  Also by Lauren Dawes

  The Half Blood Series

  (Available on Kindle Unlimited)

  Half Blood

  Half Truths

  Half Life

  Half Cast

  Half Bound

  Half Blood: The Complete Collection Books 1-5

  Helheim Wolf Pack Novellas

  Hunter

  Riley

  Dylan

  Oliver

  Casey

  Cat McKenzie Series

  Bad Vampire

  Bad Witch

  Bad Fae

  Bad Wolf

  Bad Kitty

  The Dark Trilogy

  (Available on Kindle Unlimited)

  Dark Deceit

  Dark Desire

  Dark Devotion

  Dark Trilogy Bundle: The Complete Series

  Blood Bound Series

  (Available on Kindle Unlimited)

  Shadowed Lover (2021)

  Shadowed Pain (2022)

  About the Author

  Lauren Dawes is a USA Today Bestselling Author. She writes dark urban fantasy and paranormal romance and is the author of the Half Blood series, the Dark Trilogy and the Blood Bound Series. She likes her vampires dangerous, her shifters vicious and her Norse gods ruthless.

  When she’s not writing, she’s reading, hanging with her young daughter or designing book covers. She currently lives in Brisbane, Australia.

  Visit her at: www.authorlaurendawes.com

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