“Goodnight, Jenna,” I whisper. I turn out her light and close the door.
I didn’t have anything but my shoes and coat when I arrive, so I put both on, lock her front door, and head out towards my car. When I get back to my apartment, I change into sweatpants and climb into my own, comfortable bed.
What a strange night, and not just because of David. It was weird from the very beginning.
Where did these hormones over Jenna come from? We’ve been friends our entire lives, and I’ve never felt this way about her before.
Have I? I wonder. I’ve always been overprotective of Jenna. That’s what made it extra hard when she ditched me for Mike. I thought I’d have her in my life forever, but I was expendable to her.
I used to think it was more of a brotherly thing. Looking back, though, I don’t behave this way towards my actual brother. I’d kick the ass of anyone who did him wrong, but it’s not the same. With Jenna, I have an urge to be near her and always keep her safe.
That’s terrifying. I can’t always be around her. She’s going to face guys like David her entire life, and I won’t be there to protect her. How am I supposed to trust that anyone else would jump in? The bouncer at that bar would, but he seems like an exception, not a rule.
My goal is to be brought up to the Rangers within a year. I’m playing my ass off so they’ll put me on the NHL roster. What happens then?
New York and Hartford aren’t that far apart. It’ll be like when Jenna and I were in college. We’ll see each other for monthly movie nights, and we’ll call each other regularly, but it won’t be like it is now.
I don’t want that. I don’t want to lose what we have.
What do we have? I’ve always defined us as being just friends. Now, I’m not so sure that’s what my body wants.
You’re not what she wants, I remind myself. Jenna needs the kind of guy who will hold her hand, take her out on nice dates, and like, actually be in a relationship with her. She would never be someone’s one-night stand.
I really need to get laid. That’s the only reason I’m thinking about Jenna like this right now. It’s been too long, and she’s a woman.
After the game tomorrow – well, today – I’m going to find a puck bunny and fuck her brains out. There are always girls waiting around in jerseys who only come to games for a chance with one of the players. I usually avoid them because they tend to get clingy, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Puck bunnies are easy pickings. I’ll have Matt help me out. He’s a better judge of character than I am. He can pick me one that’ll leave before I wake up Sunday morning.
I close my eyes and try to sleep, but the image of Jenna in her bed keeps plaguing me. This is getting ridiculous. If my brain keeps this up, I’ll have to avoid Jenna. I do not want to do that. She’s my best friend. I can’t lose her.
But, I can’t start developing hormones for her, either. That would end in disaster.
I force myself to think about the game instead. That’s a much more productive use of my time.
It works, too. Within a few minutes, I manage to fall asleep.
Unfortunately, my subconscious didn’t get the memo.
My dreams are full of Jenna.
Jenna
“What was I thinking?” I say into the phone.
Damien laughs. “You like the guy, Jenna. I don’t know why you’re freaking out.”
“Maybe because I don’t go on dates!”
“Well, that changes today, Jenna. Better get ready.”
I sigh. Damien is no help right now. He doesn’t seem to care that I am totally freaking out.
It has been a week since our night out at the bar. Tonight, I’m supposed to be going on a date with Toby, the first guy I met.
I was shocked when he called me the morning after we met. I know I gave two guys my number, but I didn’t expect them to use it. But, Toby did, and now I’m going on an actual real date with him.
I can’t remember the last time I went on a date. Most of my experience since Mike was casual stuff that barely lasted through the night.
“How do you even act on a date?” I ask Damien.
“Beats me. You know I don’t date.”
“Okay, but you’ve been on dates.”
“So have you. Stop freaking out, Jenna. It’s going to be fine. Be yourself. Make him laugh. Laugh if he tries to be funny. You’ve got this.”
I bite my lip. I’m glad Damien is confident, because I certainly am not. I’m tempted to cancel. I would, but I’m supposed to meet him at a local brewery in twenty minutes. Toby’s probably already on his way. I’d feel awful, cancelling on him this last minute.
“I guess I’m doing this.”
“You are. And you’re going to have a great time. Breathe, Jenna. Let yourself have fun. It’s one date, not a wedding.”
I roll my eyes. Damien doesn’t understand the gravity of the situation. He may not date a lot, but he has a lot more experience in romantic situations. I’m not even good at hanging out with my friends, let alone with guys I might be interested in.
“You’re still freaking out. I can hear it.”
“I am not!”
“You are. There’s nothing I can do to stop it. You just need to grab your coat and get out of your apartment. If you don’t go now, you might never leave.”
“Fine. I’m leaving. Bye, Damien.”
“Bye, Jenna!”
I hang up. He may be frustrating, but talking to Damien did help me a little bit. I feel less stressed about the date.
Talking to Damien always makes me feel better, though. That worries me. I don’t want to get too attached to him. He could get called up to the Rangers at any moment. If that happens, he’ll move to New York, and I won’t have him to lean on anymore.
It won’t be like it was in college. He’ll be a lot busier if he’s in the NHL. He won’t have time for me.
It sucks that I want Damien’s dream to come true, but at the same time, I want him to stay right where he is. I’m selfish like that.
I blow out a breath and put on my coat. Damien was right. If I don’t leave now, I never will.
The brewery is a five-minute walk from my apartment. When I get there, it’s pretty full. Toby isn’t here yet. I find a table for two in the corner to wait for him. He still has five minutes before we said we’d meet, so I’m not worried.
Three minutes after I arrive, Toby walks through the door. He cranes his neck looking for me, so I stand and wave.
My stomach is in knots, but now it’s in a good way. Toby is even more attractive than I remember.
“Hi!” I say when he reaches me.
“Hey, Jenna,” he responds. “How are you?”
“I’m well. Tired, but fine. How about you?”
“Good, good. It was a long week. I’m pretty sure my buddies are still recovering from last weekend.”
I laugh. “They seemed pretty drunk.”
“Yeah. Babysitting them was not fun. I’m never volunteering to be the DD again.”
“I don’t blame you. Being around drunk people sucks when you’re not drunk yourself.”
“Exactly. It wasn’t too bad, though. How did the rest of your night go?
“It was good. My friend and I ended up leaving pretty early.”
“The one who wing manned you?”
“That’s the one.”
“He looks familiar. Is he from around here?”
“Have you been to a hockey game in Hartford in the last month?”
Toby nods. “Yeah, I love going. My friends and I have been like six times this season already.”
“That may be why you recognize him. Damien plays on the team.”
His eyes widen. “Are you serious? You’re friends with a hockey player?”
“Yeah. I’ve known him since we were kids.”
“Damn. You just got a million times cooler in my book. I can’t believe a professional hockey player introduced me to a hot girl. My friends will get a kick out
of that story.”
“Glad I could provide some entertainment!”
“Me, too,” Toby says. “Now, how about a drink?”
“Sure. The beer here is really good. Have you been here before?”
He shakes his head. “I haven’t done much exploring in Hartford other than hockey games and a few bars on birthdays.”
“Ah, you’re missing out.”
I show him to the bar and we each order a craft beer. Mine is kind of fruity and light, while Toby goes for something dark. It’s like we complement each other.
“So, are you from here originally?” Toby asks.
“No. I’m actually from Florida. You?”
“Born and raised. I live in Meriden now, but I grew up in Glastonbury.”
“I’ve heard of both those towns!”
Toby laughs. “You’re not missing much if you never go to either. Although, Glastonbury has a nice little downtown area with locally owned shops and stuff.”
“That sounds nice. I was actually thinking we could head like ten minutes away to this nice shopping center. It’s not too cold outside, so it wouldn’t suck to walk around.”
“I’d be down. Maybe we can grab food there? I’m kind of starving.”
“Yes, please! I barely had a chance to eat today.”
“Busy day?”
I nod and take a sip of my beer. “Yeah, I work at a dentist office as a dental assistant. For some reason, we’ve had nonstop patients the last few weeks. I’m exhausted.”
“I bet. That sounds like it’s a lot. Do you like the work, though?”
“I love it. That makes it work the stress.”
“I feel the same about my job. I’m a year away from finishing med school so I can officially call myself a pediatrician. For now, I work at a pediatric doctor’s office. I’m essentially a lackey since I can’t really do much with patients. I should’ve gotten my nursing degree first so I could do more.”
“I get that. I’m lucky that being an assistant only requires an undergrad degree. I don’t do much with patients, but I help out during oral surgeries and stuff. I feel like I learn more from my job than in my classes.”
Toby is nodding along as I speak. “I feel the same way! I get to take temperatures and get medical histories, which is obviously vital to the practice. The doctor also requests permission from most families to let me observe as he treats them. Most say yes when he tells them I’m almost finished with school. Just watching a real doctor in action is much more valuable than sitting in a classroom, in my opinion.”
“I completely agree! I guess that’s why there are internships and stuff for doctors. Hands-on practice under close observation is the best way to learn in this industry.”
It’s really nice to have someone to talk to about this. I have my friends from class, like Melonie, but it’s not the same. Toby’s work is just different enough that it’s not boring to talk to him about it, but similar enough that I understand what he’s going through.
We continue to chat as we sip our beers. With every passing minute, my nerves disappear. I can’t believe I was so freaked out before. It’s only because I’m so out of practice. Toby is making it easy for me.
Once we’re both empty, Toby pays the tab and we head for his car.
“Where are we going again?”
“West Hartford,” I say.
“Oh! I know that area. I love it out there. I haven’t been in a while.”
“Some friends brought me there when I first started college in Connecticut. It’s been my go-to hangout place since then.”
“It’s really nice.”
We listen to the radio as Toby drives. He keeps it on a classic rock station, which I appreciate. I feel like everyone likes classic rock. If you say you don’t, you’re lying, or you haven’t heard the right classic rock.
It takes us a while to find parking. It’s Friday night and nice for February, so I’m not surprised. We finally find a lot with open spaces. Toby pays for a few hours, just in case.
“Where do you want to eat?” Toby asks.
“There’s a restaurant that serves a lot of craft beer. Want to go there?”
“Is it written all over me that I’m a craft beer guy?”
I bite my lip. “Well, you do give off a hipster vibe.”
He laughs. “I’m okay with that. Although, I don’t have the glasses.”
“That’s true. You have the outfit, though.”
Toby is wearing a flannel, jeans, and a beanie. His beard is well-kept but thick. I find him very attractive. Mike loved wearing button downs with suspenders and stuff. I bet Toby would do the same.
I try to force Mike out of my mind. It sucks that he’s my only reference point, considering how shitty he treated me in the end. At least now I’ll have Toby to reference if things don’t work out between us.
We get to the restaurant and it’s packed. Luckily, there are only two of us, so we manage to get seated pretty quickly. I order a burger and fries. Toby goes for wings. We each order another beer. I’m not trying to go too crazy with the alcohol this weekend. I was so hungover when I woke up on Saturday morning.
It was weird, waking up in my bed. I remember falling asleep on the couch with Damien. We haven’t talked about it, but I know he had to have carried me to my room. That was sweet of him.
“So, what kind of movies do you like?” Toby asks.
Of course, the question also conjures up thoughts of Damien, but I push them away. I should not be thinking about other guys when I’m on a date. Especially not a guy I’ll never have. Not that I want him or anything. My brain is just messy right now. Toby will help, I hope.
“I’ll watch anything,” I admit. “I’m not a big fan of history stuff, but that’s pretty much it. I guess my favorite genre is comedy because I like to laugh.”
“Nice. I’m a comedy guy, too. I also really like horror.”
I cringe. “I can’t do scary movies. I have nightmares for weeks.”
“Well, we should watch one together sometime. I’ll protect you.”
I grin. “I’d like that.”
We continue to chat even when the food comes. After we eat, we walk around the square for almost two hours. The conversation never stops flowing.
It’s amazing. I’m glad I made it on this date. Toby and I could be really good together if we give it a chance.
“It’s getting chilly. We should probably head out,” Toby says.
“Yeah, you’re right.”
“What’s your address? I’ll bring you home.”
I rattle off my street name and Toby heads in that direction. He walks me to the door, but he doesn’t try to kiss me or anything. I respect him for that.
“Can I see you again?” he asks.
“Yes, please.”
Toby smiles. “I’m looking forward to it.”
“Me, too.”
I head inside and lean against my door. That went a lot better than expected.
I can’t wait until I get to see Toby again.
Tomorrow night, though, I have another date. This time with Nick. I hope it goes as well as tonight did with Toby.
I can’t believe two weeks ago I felt like I’d never have anyone again, and now I have two boyfriend prospects.
All thanks to Damien.
Damien
I clutch my phone. Why hasn’t Jenna called me back?
We had a game tonight, but I played like shit. I’ve been thinking about Jenna and her date the entire night.
I understand why she was nervous. David turned out to be an asshole. Is Toby going to be the same?
It’s after eleven. They should be finished by now.
Unless, of course, Jenna decided to end her dry spell.
I squeeze my phone so hard I might break it. Why does the idea of Jenna sleeping with Toby make me want to punch something? I don’t own her. She’s my best friend, not my girlfriend.
I convince myself it’s just that brotherly protectiveness I was t
hinking about last weekend. I want my best friend to be happy and safe.
Which is why I wish she would call me.
We didn’t have express plans to talk after the date. I just assumed she would call me, since she called me before she left.
Why did I convince her to go out? She was ready to cancel. That would’ve prevented a lot of stress on my end.
But, Jenna would’ve been unhappy. Despite her nerves, I could tell she really wanted to go out with Toby.
The thought makes me want to throw my phone across the room.
I open up my messages and start a text to Jenna, but I delete it before I hit send. If she’s still with Toby, I don’t want to be texting her. That would be awkward. He might get the wrong idea about us. Jenna would kill me if I screwed up her chance at a relationship.
My stomach drops. How will our friendship change if she starts seeing someone? Will Toby be threatened by our friendship like Mike was?
Jenna promised that she would never drop me again, but I’m not sure I can trust her. Mike convinced her to leave me behind easily. Would Toby be able to do that, too?
I shake my head. I have to believe in my best friend. We’re adults now. She wouldn’t let some guy come between us.
The pit in my stomach doesn’t dissipate. It’s more than just a fear of losing Jenna. I don’t want her to date anyone.
I ignore the but me that creeps into my brain. That kind of thinking will ruin my life. I can’t date Jenna. I’m not good enough for her. She deserves someone who can commit. That will never be me. Relationships confuse me. I’ve never understood the appeal. I get that it’s what Jenna wants, but it’s not what I want. That means I’ll always just be her best friend.
“Dude, what the hell is going on with you?”
I look up and find Matt standing over me. His hair is still wet from the shower.
“What are you talking about?”
“I can see a lot from the goal. You were not playing your best tonight.”
“People have off days, Matt. It happens. Get over it.”
“Don’t be a dick, Damien. Talk to me.”
“It’s nothing, really. I’ll play better tomorrow.”
Arrogant Puck: A Friends to Lovers Sports Romance (Hockey Heartthrobs Book 2) Page 6
