We still won tonight’s game, but it was no thanks to me. Tonight was the first time since I started with the team that I didn’t score or assist. I was flailing around on the ice for most of the game.
All because my mind was focused on Jenna and her date. Ridiculous. I feel like such an idiot.
“Is it Jenna?”
I snap my head up. “What makes you think that?”
Matt grins. “Remember when things got weird between Sophie and me? My game suffered, too.”
“That was different. You two were… dating. Or whatever.”
“I was trying to date her and she was trying to avoid me. Which kind of sounds like what you’re doing with Jenna.”
“Neither of us is trying to date the other.”
Matt sits down next to me on the locker room bench. I was the first to shower and change out of my gear, but I haven’t left the locker room yet. Matt is usually last to leave. He’s the slowest guy on the team. Must be a goalie thing.
“Are you sure about that?”
“I’m positive. Why are you hounding me about this?”
Matt puts up his hands in surrender. “I’m not hounding you, I’m asking you questions. I want to know what you’re feeling.”
“This isn’t therapy.”
“No, but you can treat it like it is. You’re my friend and I want you to tell me what’s going on. Plus, you’re my teammate, and I can’t have you playing like crap right now. There’s a lot riding on these games.”
I know that Matt is right. The Rangers watch us play. The good guys get brought up to the majors. The mediocre ones stay in the AHL. I want to be good. All my other games have been, but tonight, I was mediocre.
“Fine. Yeah, it’s Jenna. She had a date tonight.”
“Oh, man, I’m sorry.”
“It’s not like that,” I protest.
“Then tell me what it’s like.”
I hesitate. I’m not sure Jenna would appreciate me spreading her business around, but I want Matt’s advice.
“This stays between us, okay?”
Matt nods. “Promise.”
I blow out a breath. I haven’t told anyone what happened between Jenna and David last weekend. I’m still freaked out about it. Jenna may not think it was my fault, but I feel guilty anyway.
Matt listens patiently as I tell him everything, from sitting at Jenna’s apartment to me putting her in her bed after we fell asleep during the movie.
He’s silent for a full minute when I’m finished.
“Shit. That’s a lot more than I expected.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to burden you with all this.”
“It’s not a burden. I’m glad you told me. I feel bad for Jenna. I’ve heard stories like this from Sophie. It makes me want to start a war against my own sex.”
“Exactly! I can’t believe they have to deal with this shit. I want to, like, be with Jenna all the time.”
Matt grins. “Well, I think that’s an admission.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re wrong.”
“Why can’t you admit that you like her as more than just a friend? It’s been obvious to me for years.”
“Because it’s not true. You don’t exactly have the best intuition. I mean, you’re the one who talked to a bunch of girls at a party when you were trying to hook up with Sophie.”
Matt laughs. “I was just talking to them! That’s it! If Sophie has forgiven me for that, you can, too.”
“I’m just saying that you’re not the best guy to be giving girl advice.”
“Out of the two of us, I think I’m the one who should be giving advice.”
Okay, Matt has a point there. He has a fiancée who loves him. What do I have? A best friend I might like as more than a friend? Emotions are stupid. I wish I didn’t have those.
“I don’t want your advice.”
“You’re getting it anyway. You like Jenna, man. There’s nothing wrong with that. I think you should give it a shot and see where it goes.”
“That’s not going to happen.”
“Why not?” Matt asks.
That’s a good question. What am I so afraid of?
I scoff at my own thought. I’m not afraid of anything, I just know who I am and what I want.
“I don’t get why you’re questioning this. I’m the one who tried to convince you not to marry Sophie. Or even date her. You guys are all settling down with one woman for the rest of your lives. That’s great for you, but can you see me doing that?”
“With Jenna, yeah.”
“Forget it. She’s not some magic woman who is going to turn my life around. I’m a free spirit or whatever. I like to be able to see whoever I want to see. Since Jenna isn’t a one-night kind of girl, it’s never going to happen. That’s why I need you to hook me up with a puck bunny. Help a teammate out.”
I had asked Matt last weekend, but he refused to help me. Now I know why. He’s convinced himself that I’m going to be with Jenna.
“Is that really what you want? Mindless sex with a puck bunny?”
“Yes.”
Matt studies me. I can’t tell if he believes me but doesn’t want to, or if he doesn’t believe me at all. Either way, he eventually nods. “Fine. I’ll help you tomorrow night. There are always a few waiting out by the back doors when we leave. They’re probably gone already now.”
I check the time on my phone. It’s almost midnight now. We shouldn’t still be here. The custodial staff gets antsy when we stay too long.
“Thanks, man. I appreciate it. And thanks for the talk. I promise I won’t be so distracted tomorrow.”
We gather our stuff and head out. The back door is empty when we leave. Tomorrow, I want to meet a nice girl to take home, but in the future, I might consider sticking around after everyone leaves. It’s nice to have peace and quiet out here. I don’t mind signing autographs or talking to fans, but it can be exhausting to do it every night.
I laugh. “I get why you’re always last to leave now.”
Matt grins. “It’s worth it to avoid those crowds.”
“Doesn’t your agent get pissed?”
“I sign autographs often enough to appease her.”
“Man, I have a lot to learn from you. California did not treat me right.”
My agent, and my teammates, convinced me to be out there talking to fans after every game, no matter how exhausted I was. I knew things would be different in Hartford, but I didn’t think they’d be this different.
Our cars are parked in a special players-only lot. We part ways when we get there, since we managed to park on opposite sides.
I call Jenna as soon as I’m in my car. To my surprise, she answers.
“Hey, are you okay?” she says.
“Yeah. I wanted to know how your date when.”
“It was amazing!” she tells me, and my heart sinks. She goes on to explain everything they did. It actually sounds like an ideal date. A quick beer, dinner, and walking around a nice shopping area? Low key enough to be stress-free, but still very clearly a date.
“I’m glad you had a good night,” I say.
“I did. Thank you for talking me into going. I needed your pep talk.”
Again, I regret doing that, but I can’t go back in time and change it now.
“I might need you again tomorrow. I have a date with Nick.”
My eyes widen. “Another date?”
“Yeah. I figured I’d get them both out of the way this weekend. I’ll see how it goes with Nick, but I really like Toby a lot.”
Well, fuck. Even if I did want a shot with Jenna – which I obviously don’t – it looks like she’s already chosen her next boyfriend. Toby better treat her right, or he’ll see just how angry a hockey team can get. The guys will have my back. If I tell them we need to teach a guy a lesson, they’ll help me.
“I won’t be able to talk to you beforehand. The game starts at five.”
“Oh. Damn. Well, I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’ll tal
k to you after, though?”
I’m not sure I can handle hearing about another date, but I tell her I’ll call her when I’m leaving the arena.
“Perfect. I’ll talk to you then. Goodnight, Damien.”
“Night, Jenna.”
We hang up, and I bang my hand against the steering wheel. At least I know she made it home safe. It sucks she had such a good time before that, though.
Whatever. This is for the best. She needs a guy who can commit, and Toby seems to be that for her.
I just have to ignore the pain in my chest whenever she mentions him.
How hard can that be?
Jenna
It’s ten minutes after he said he’d pick me up when Nick finally knocks on my door.
“Hi!” he says when I open it. “You ready to go?”
No apology for being late? Whatever. It’s fine. I grab my coat and follow him out to his car.
“So, where did you want to go?” I ask.
“I figured we’d go see a movie.”
Nick doesn’t see me cringe. A movie is the worst thing to do on a date. We can’t talk or anything. How are we supposed to get to know each other?
“That sounds good,” I say. I don’t want to be argumentative on our first date. This will be fine. It’s not a big deal. We talked a lot at the bar last weekend, anyway.
We get to the movie theatre and Nick offers to pick the movie. He goes for a historical biopic, my least favorite, and buys two tickets.
“Did you want popcorn or anything?”
“No, thank you.”
“Okay, good. Shit’s expensive.”
This was a terrible idea. How drunk was I on Friday to think Nick and I would be good together? He has the same basic build and look as Toby, but he’s the complete opposite. Toby never would’ve commented on how much something costs. I also would’ve bought my own drink, popcorn, and candy. I’m not so old-fashioned that I expect a guy to pay for everything on a date.
We get inside and find seats. Nick doesn’t try to talk to me before the previews start. This date is a disaster. If I could, I would leave now. Instead, I practically fall asleep watching the movie.
“What’d you think? I loved it,” Nick says.
“It was good.”
“I’m glad you liked it! What do you want to do now? We could get dinner.”
“Yeah, that’d be nice,” I say. “There’s a really good barbeque place right next door. Want to go there?”
“Sure. I love barbeque.”
At least he has that going for him. I lead the way towards my favorite restaurant in Hartford. Their pulled pork is to die for.
I order a pulled pork sandwich with fries. Nick gets brisket with mashed potatoes and corn. We find a seat and barely talk as we eat. He did pay for dinner, so at least I got a free meal out of this miserable evening.
After we eat, Nick offers to take me home.
“Yeah, sure. Thanks.”
“I had a great time,” he says. He’s still sitting in the driver’s seat of his car. At least Nick walked me to the door.
“Me, too,” I lie. I know it’s not nice, but I hate hurting people’s feelings.
“But, I don’t think we’re going to work out,” Nick continues.
Oh, thank God! I was worried that I’d have to be the one to say it. I’m glad Nick realized we’re not compatible.
“We might work as friends,” he says. “But, I’m not feeling the chemistry. I hope we’re on the same page.”
“We definitely are. I’d be okay trying to be friends. Text me sometime.”
“I will.”
I get out of the car and laugh as I walk to my door. What a bizarre date! This is how it usually goes with the guys I try to date. We hit it off one second, and the next, we’re agreeing to be just friends.
At least I have Toby! He seems genuinely interested me as more than a friend. I can’t wait until I get to go out with him again.
Once in my apartment, I check the score of Damien’s game. It ended a half hour ago, which means he should be getting home soon.
I put my coat back on and head out the door. This isn’t a phone conversation. I want to see Damien’s face when I tell him how terrible my date with Nick went.
I’m only waiting outside Damien’s door for ten minutes when he pulls up.
“Jenna? Is everything okay? What are you doing here?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just wanted to tell you about my date.”
There’s a flicker of something on Damien’s face, but he recovers quickly. I’m sure he’s just tired from the game. I won’t take up too much of his time. Once he hears about this disaster, he’ll be wide awake.
“Come on in, then,” he says. “Let me just put my stuff away.”
I follow Damien into his apartment. It’s cleaner than it was last time I was here. I guess he hasn’t been spending much time here. The team has been away a lot lately. Which sucks, because I always miss him when he’s not in Hartford.
I settle on the couch while he puts his things away. A few minutes later, he joins me in the living room.
“Okay. Sorry about that. Tell me everything.”
So, I do. I start with Nick being late, and finish with the conversation in the car.
“This is how it always goes!” I say. “I don’t know what I do wrong. I thought we had a connection at the bar, but it disappeared when we tried a date.”
“It’s not you,” Damien assures me.
“I’d agree with you if this didn’t keep happening. You know what they say about getting the same result over and over again? It usually means you’re the problem.”
“Come on, Jenna, we both know you’re not the problem. Guys are the worst.”
“You’re not,” I say quietly.
I’m suddenly aware how close we’re sitting to each other on the couch. We tend to get close to cuddling when we’re together. It never occurred to me that this might be weird until just now. Yet, I want to be closer.
“I’m pretty bad, Jenna,” Damien says. He looks over at me. Am I reading into the fire between us? It feels like we’re on the edge of something major. I’m not sure how I feel about that.
“I don’t think so.”
“You will.”
Why does it seem like we’re talking about more than just my failed attempts at relationships?
“Damien,” I whisper. I’m leaning closer. Why am I doing that? What is wrong with me?
“Jenna,” he responds. His eyes meet mine in a question. I answer with a slight nod of my head.
Damien wastes no time. He closes the small remaining distance between us and kisses me.
We’ve never kissed before. Why not? I can tell within seconds that he’s good at it. He goes slow at first, our lips dancing in a previously forbidden dance. Then, he gently opens my lips with his tongue.
I moan against his mouth. Damien’s hands tangle in my hair. He slowly lowers me down so I’m laying on the couch with him hovering over me.
His lips move to my neck. He gently nibbles the skin below my chin.
“Fuck, Damien,” I whisper. How did he know I love it when guys do that? Mike always thought it was weird, but I don’t care. It feels good.
“You’re so beautiful, Jenna,” he says, kissing below my ear. “All those guys are idiots.”
His hands wander up under my shirt. Damien squeezes my breast over my bra. My nipples harden immediately. Does Damien have any idea what he’s doing to me?
Judging by the hardness pressing against my thigh, I’m having the same effect on him.
We make out on the couch for what seems like hours, but it’s probably only ten minutes. Damien does magical things to my neck, chin, and lips while still playing with my breasts.
“I want more,” I moan. “Please, Damien.”
I cup his erection and he groans with pleasure.
“Jenna, I don’t know…”
I meet his eyes. “I need it, Damien. Give it all to me.”
/> Damien studies me like he’s unsure. I understand his hesitation. He knows it’s been a long time since I’ve slept with anyone. I wouldn’t normally do this, but I feel safe with Damien. I know he won’t hurt me.
Girls have needs just like guys do. When our needs aren’t met often enough, we act out. That’s what I’m chalking this up to. It’s not about my weird feelings for Damien. I’m just horny and lonely, and he’s available.
“Are you sure about this, Jenna?”
I grin. “Yes. Now show me how comfortable that bed is.”
My words must convince him. Damien jumps off the couch and pulls me up. He practically runs to his bedroom and shuts the door. Damien pushes me up against the hard wood and kisses me passionately.
“I need you to tell me one more time,” Damien says, pulling away. “Are you absolutely sure?”
“Yes, Damien. I want this. Please, don’t make me beg.”
He grins. “I wouldn’t mind seeing you beg…”
I lower my eyes. “That’s never going to happen.”
I take his hand and pull him over to the bed. If Damien isn’t going to initiate, then I will. I’m out of practice, but I remember the basics.
Damien gives up his hesitation for good. I lay down on the bed and he climbs on top of me.
“Too many clothes,” he mumbles. He grabs the hem of my shirt and pulls it over my head.
I do the same with his. His chest is just as muscular as I expected. I haven’t seen him shirtless in years. I’ve been missing out.
Damien quickly removes my bra. His head dips down to suckle one of my nipples. I arch my back to give him more access.
This is so wrong, which makes it that much better.
“Fuck, yes, Damien,” I moan. His fingers dance at the hem of my jeans. I push on his wrist, encouraging him to go further. Damien takes the hint and undoes my button and zipper. He slides my pants down to my ankles and tosses them on the floor. I’m in nothing but my panties. Those are torn from my body as well, leaving me naked in Damien’s bed.
A shiver runs down my back. I had no idea this is where I’d be after my disaster of a date, but I’m so glad I came to Damien’s apartment.
“You’re perfect, Jenna,” Damien whispers as he kisses his way back up my legs. His lips touch every piece of my skin except where I desperately want him to go.
Arrogant Puck: A Friends to Lovers Sports Romance (Hockey Heartthrobs Book 2) Page 7
