Good or Bad

by Barbara Cartland

In his own room the Earl was asking himself how he could have been such a fool and also so conceited.

  It had never struck him for a moment that any woman, especially somebody as beautiful as Amalita would reject his advances.

  He was used to women falling into his arms almost before he knew their names.

  Women like Hermione pursued him relentlessly.

  He could not remember when he had been refused a kiss or repulsed when he had wanted to make love.

  There was no doubt that Amalita really had been most astonished to see him in her room.

  He was certain that her fear was genuine and he had at first thought that she was playing hard to get and starting a new game of intrigue.

  He had not taken her protests seriously until he was aware that she was trembling.

  Now he asked himself again how he could have been so stupid, how could he have forgotten that in the country this sort of situation did not occur?

  And yet, she had been a married woman.

  As he thought of it, he was suddenly still.

  At the moment he had touched her, he had felt that she was very young, innocent and completely unsophisticated.

  This seemed strange when he remembered hearing as a boy of Sir Frederick’s charm.

  He had heard talk from the servants and even from his father of his love affairs.

  He had admired Sir Frederick tremendously and much enjoyed talking to him when he came to the house.

  He could recall when he was about six or seven years old peeping through the banisters at the guests arriving for dinner.

  After that his Nanny had left him to go for her own supper.

  He had crept out of bed to watch from the Minstrel’s Gallery the party eating in the dining room at Garle Park.

  He had seen two very beautiful women glittering with jewels and fawning on Sir Frederick.

  The Earl had told himself that they admired him, just as he did.

  Sir Frederick was frequently a guest at Garle Park.

  Once when the Earl was a year or two older he had seen him in the garden late at night, kissing a very lovely woman.

  The moon had been shining on them and they were standing beside the fountain and young though he was, the Earl had felt that it was very romantic.

  He thought of Sir Frederick as a White Knight.

  He must have won his Princess after killing the dragon that had frightened her.

  It all came back to him and he also recalled how Sir Frederick had disappeared to the country after he had been married.

  They had seldom seen him again and told him then it was because he was so happy that he had no wish to come to London.

  “When a man is in the Garden of Eden,” the Marquis had said poetically, “he has no wish to go back again to the wilderness!”

  Thinking it over in detail, the Earl remembered that Sir Frederick’s first wife, and he knew that Carolyn was like her, had died.

  He must have then married Amalita.

  Was it possible, because he was much older than she was, that he had left her untouched?

  It seemed too incredible.

  Suddenly, like a light shining in the darkness, the Earl could hear Amalita saying,

  “ – Papa would be very shocked at your being here.”

  She had been speaking about her father, of course, but surely it would have been more natural for her to say,

  ‘“Frederick would be very shocked’!”

  He found himself puzzling over what seemed to be a strange conundrum until he eventually fell asleep.

  *

  When Amalita woke in the morning, she then recalled what had happened the night before.

  It seemed so incredible that she thought it must have been a dream and a not a very pleasant one.

  She felt her heart beating frantically again and a blush coming to her face.

  How could she meet the Earl again?

  ‘What shall I say to him? And what – shall I do?’ she asked.

  The maid who had pulled back the curtains came to the bedside.

  “His Lordship thought, my Lady,” she said, “that you and Miss Maulpin should ’ave your breakfast in bed this mornin’. ’E suggests you rest ’cause you be so late last night.”

  “How kind of his Lordship,” Amalita murmured.

  She was glad, not to rest in bed but because she would not have to go down to breakfast and encounter the Earl.

  She heard a footman put her breakfast tray on a table outside the door and the maid went to collect it.

  Putting it down on a table that she had arranged by the bed, the maid said,

  “I ’opes you’ve got everythin’ you wants, my Lady, but if not, just ring the bell and I’ll fetch you whatever you requires.”

  “I am sure I shall not want anything more,” Amalita replied. “And I shall grow fat if I stay here much longer.”

  The maid laughed.

  “I do ’opes not, my Lady. We was just sayin’ in the servants’ ’all as you’ve got the smallest waist of any lady as has stayed ’ere.”

  As she finished speaking, there came a knock on the door.

  The maid opened it and there was then a muffled conversation with somebody outside.

  She came back carrying a small parcel in her hand.

  “I’ve bin told as to give you this, my Lady,” the maid said.

  Amalita took it from her, wondering what it could be.

  It was too early to have come by post.

  It was wrapped in white paper and tied with a bow of ribbon.

  She thought that perhaps the Marquis had sent her a present.

  She opened the parcel carefully.

  When she had done so, she found that inside there was a single orchid.

  It was pure white and quite perfect..

  As she looked at it in surprise, she saw that there was a card attached to it.

  It read,

  “Forgive me.”

  As she read it, she felt her heartbeats quicken.

  The colour came and went in her cheeks.

  He had apologised.

  This was something that she had not expected for she was sure that he had never done so before.

  Quite suddenly her feelings towards the Earl seemed to change.

  He was no longer a large menacing figure frightening her until she felt that she could not escape from him.

  Instead he was a man who was big enough to admit that he had made a mistake and then to say he was sorry.

  ‘Papa was right,’ she told herself. ‘He is a gentleman and as a gentleman he has done the right thing.’

  She put the orchid down beside her.

  Now she began to feel excited about the day that lay ahead.

  She thought about the party to come in the evening and the very beautiful gowns that she and Carolyn were to wear.

  It was all thrilling.

  The black cloud that had for the moment eclipsed the sunshine had gone.

  She felt happy. Very very happy.

  And all because the Earl had done the right thing.

  The white orchid which was lying beside her was very beautiful.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Amalita looked round the ballroom and thought that nothing could be more attractive and enchanting.

  The women in their beautiful gowns looked exactly like swans.

  Their tiaras glittered as they were swung around the room in the arms of their partners to a dreamy waltz.

  Amalita had put on her mother’s tiara, thinking that it would make her look older.

  She well knew that the Marquis admired her and he had insisted that both she and Carolyn should be standing beside him as he received his guests.

  Amalita was a little afraid that somebody would arrive who would remember that her father had two daughters.

  Then she reassured herself that it had all happened a long time ago.

  Also her father and mother had always preferred to be by themselves in the country.

  It plea
sed her when the older of the Marquis’s friends said such charming things to her and Carolyn about their father.

  They said that they had always believed him to be the most attractive man in London.

  The Marquis kept them with him until he thought that everybody of importance had arrived.

  Then Carolyn was swept off to the ballroom to dance with one young gentleman after another.

  Amalita found that she was never without a partner and the orchestra was excellent, playing all the melodious times that had recently become fashionable.

  Watching the guests with interest in the flower-filled room, Amalita thought nothing could be more romantic.

  Some of the windows opened out into the garden and the Marquis had arranged for Chinese lanterns to be hung from the boughs of the trees and the paths were outlined with small fairy lights.

  Amalita was certain that Carolyn really was the belle of the ball.

  Her gown was pure white, caught up at the side of the bustle with bunches of pink roses and a sash matching the colour of her eyes encircled her small waist.

  In fact she was spectacular.

  Flushed with excitement she looked like a child at its first pantomime.

  Amalita was not surprised when one man after another said to her,

  “Your stepdaughter is surely the most attractive girl I have ever seen!”

  The Earl had presided at the end of the table at dinner and on each side of him there were two of their most distinguished lady guests, a Marchioness and a Countess.

  There was no question tonight of it being a choice between ‘the Good and the Bad’.

  He was looking even more distinguished than usual because he was wearing several decorations.

  A cross hung round his neck on a red ribbon.

  Amalita longed to know what it represented, but she thought, however, that to ask would make her seem very ignorant.

  Soon after the music had started, the Earl asked her to dance.

  For a moment she hesitated, thinking that he should ask Carolyn first.

  Afraid of seeming interfering, she accepted at once his invitation and he took her onto the dance floor.

  He danced very well.

  She only hoped that he would not realise that she was not at all an experienced dancer.

  She had, of course, danced at all the children’s parties they had attended, but they were very few and far between in Worcestershire.

  She had, however, often danced with her father while her mother played the piano.

  “You must be like thistledown in my arms,” he had said, “and that is exactly how your mother felt when I first danced with her. After dancing with her at endless balls every other woman seemed like a sack of potatoes!”

  Amalita wondered now, as he danced with her, what the Earl was thinking.

  When the dance came to an end, he said,

  “I thought your feet never touched the ground and you were flying rather than dancing.”

  They were the first words he had spoken to her since they had gone onto the dance floor.

  As she smiled up at him, he asked in a low voice,

  “Am I forgiven?”

  “Of – course,” Amalita agreed quickly.

  She could not help the colour that then came into her cheeks and her eyes flickered.

  Then she said,

  “Thank you – for the beautiful orchid.”

  “I thought it was like you,” the Earl explained.

  There was no chance of his saying anything more.

  A Peer, who Amalita knew was of great importance in the Political world, came up to the Earl to say,

  “I hope that you are not going to monopolise the most beautiful woman in the room. Please introduce me.”

  With that he swept Amalita onto the dance floor and the Earl walked away.

  As she finished dancing with the Peer, who paid her extravagant compliments, she looked round for Carolyn, but there was no sign of her.

  Amalita thought that maybe she might have gone into the garden and she wondered if she should have warned her not to stay there too long with any one gentleman.

  This, as she knew, could earn her a bad reputation.

  Amalita would have been surprised if she had known where Carolyn was at that moment.

  She had run away from the ballroom into one of the sitting rooms. It was one arranged for those who wished to talk rather than dance.

  She was standing by the fireplace, looking down at the flowers that filled it.

  The door opened and Timothy Lambton came in.

  “I thought I saw you at the other end of the corridor,” he said. “Why are you here? You should be dancing.”

  “I don’t – want to dance this – dance,” Carolyn said in a low voice.

  Timothy went to stand beside her.

  “Why not?” he asked.

  She did not reply and after a moment he said,

  “Do tell me why, Carolyn. Why do you not want to dance this particular dance?”

  “Because,” she replied hesitatingly, “it is – with the – Earl.”

  “And you don’t want to dance with him?”

  She shook her head.

  “Why ever not?” Timothy asked. “What has he said to you?”

  He spoke sharply and, when Carolyn remained silent, he went on,

  “If he has upset you, I will knock him down. I know Cousin David’s behaviour with women only too well and it is something I will not let happen with you.”

  Carolyn gave a little cry.

  “It – is not that, it is not anything that he said, but – your uncle ‒ ”

  Timothy took hold of her arm and then drew her to the sofa.

  As they both sat down, he said in a quiet kind voice,

  “Now, what is all this about? Tell me what has upset you.”

  “I-I don’t – think I ought to – tell you.”

  “I thought you could trust me, Carolyn.”

  “I do – I do,” she said, “but what – he said was – a shock.”

  Timothy then took her hand in both of his and held it tightly.

  “I cannot believe that my uncle would wish to upset you, Carolyn,” he said. “So fell me exactly what he said and then we can sort it out between us.”

  Because he spoke so beguilingly, Carolyn muttered,

  “I went – up to him – after I had – been dancing and said, ‘thank you – thank you for this wonderful party. It is so exciting and I am enjoying myself enormously’.”

  Her voice died away and Timothy asked,

  “And what did my uncle reply?”

  “He – said,” Carolyn replied in a voice that he could hardly hear,

  “‘I hope that the next party I shall give here will be for your marriage. I just know that you and David will be very happy together’.”

  Carolyn’s voice broke on the last words, and she said,

  “Now I – understand what he has been thinking and why I kept – being put – beside the Earl at mealtimes – but I do not want – to marry him – he frightens – me.”

  Her voice was piteous and Timothy was silent.

  Unexpectedly he rose and pulled her to her feet before he said,

  “I want to show you something.”

  She did not ask questions, but allowed him to lead her from the sitting room and down the corridor.

  They did not go in the direction of the ballroom, but the opposite way.

  Timothy led her to a side staircase and still without speaking he took her up it.

  They climbed from the first floor to the second and from the second to the top floor, where the attics were.

  Content to do what Timothy wanted, Carolyn let him lead her along an attic until they came to some steps.

  He opened the door at the top of them.

  Feeling somewhat bewildered, Carolyn wondered why he was taking her out onto the roof.

  It was a flat roof and there was a balustrade on the side of it.

  Timoth
y led her to it.

  Carolyn saw there lay in front of her a most incredible panorama.

  The sky overhead was filled with stars and there was a full moon throwing its light over London.

  Below were the trees of St. James’s Park and beyond were the Houses of Parliament beside the Thames.

  Then she could see the river, silver in the moonlight and winding its way towards the sea.

  The lights on the bridges crossing it were reflected on its smooth surface.

  It was all so lovely that Carolyn could only stare at it until Timothy asked softly,

  “What does this mean to you?”

  “It is – beautiful! The most – beautiful view I have – ever seen!” Carolyn answered. “It makes me – feel as if it is part of my – heart and – of my – soul.”

  She was speaking almost to herself or how she would have spoken to Amalita.

  “That is what I wanted you to feel,” Timothy replied, “and I have something to tell you, Carolyn.”

  “What is – it?” she asked with her eyes still on the river.

  “I have been painting pictures,” he replied, “and my Teacher, who is a well-known artist, is pleased with my work. What I intend to do is to travel all over the world, painting beauty like the scene you are looking at now.”

  “All over the world?” Carolyn questioned.

  “I want to paint every scene that moves me as this is moving you,” Timothy said. “Then I shall put it all into a book for people to see who cannot travel as I intend to do.”

  There was silence.

  Then Carolyn said,

  “I am sure – it is a – wonderful idea for you, but you are going away, are you – going alone?”

  “Not if you will come with me,” Timothy said quietly.

  Carolyn turned towards him, her eyes were very wide in the moonlight.

  “W-with – you?” she whispered.

  “I did not mean to tell you so soon,” Timothy replied, “but I fell in love with you the very moment I saw you. I thought, as you were so young and had seen so little of the world, that I ought to give you the chance to meet other men.”

  His fingers tightened on hers until they hurt.

  Then he sighed,

  “But I cannot risk losing you.”

  For a moment they just gazed at each other.

  Then Carolyn asked in a very quiet voice,

  “What do you want me to do?”

  Timothy smiled.

  “I am asking you to marry me, my darling. I may not be as grand as Cousin David, but I think we feel the same and think the same about beauty and I know that the world would be very beautiful with you.”