Genetech- The Seeds Of Doom

by Kris Schnee

  The cafeteria could have passed for one anywhere, if not for the lunch-lady's obvious cybernetic implants. He got himself some veggie lasagna, feeling almost at home.

  The lady fixed him with an unnerving metal eye when he pulled out a twenty from his wallet. "We don't take funny-money."

  "I'm pretty sure it's real. Want a credit card though?"

  "We take company credits, and gold." She started to lecture him about the evils of fiat currency.

  He interrupted her just as she was launching into a history of the Federal Reserve. "So! Uh, how do I get company credits?"

  She smiled. "I could take your play money and cover for you, at the right exchange rate. Or you could just wait for your bank account to be assimilated."

  A minute later, feeling poorer after that "exchange rate", he took the furthest table away from the lunch line. He sat there grumbling, calming down as he ate. Yeah, he thought, it didn't much matter if there were animal-people running around and he had to work in a secret undersea base. It would be fun, mostly. Aldous was getting sleepy just sitting there with his meal. And then an angry bearded guy showed up.

  "What are you doing?" said the man. He looked like hell -- filthy in a mildewed ski parka, with a hammer at his belt and a sack on his back.

  Aldous yawned. Yeesh, he should get some sleep. "Just getting in."

  "Bah!" The man stomped over to the lunch-lady. "Two Skunk Beers. Cold." He returned and shoved an open bottle under Aldous' nose. A stench woke Aldous up, making him recoil and sit up straight.

  The man said, "That's better. So the bosses saddled me with a mundane loafer who can't keep his eyes open."

  Aldous realized: "You're Dwalin!"

  "So I hear. Drink now, and maybe I can use you tomorrow."

  Aldous was shamed enough by having his new boss find him half-asleep that he drank the nasty beer with Dwalin. It was actually pretty good. Bold flavor. "Sorry," he said. "It's been a strange couple of days."

  "I just got back from saving Antarctica. What happened to you? Did the airline not let you keep the whole can of soda?"

  Aldous stood unsteadily, swigging his beer. "Can we start over tomorrow?"

  Dwalin nodded. "Get yourself down that hall over there, then go to the bottom floor. Call me tomorrow. And don't touch anything on the way."

  Aldous got out of there, feeling his cheeks burn with shame at making a bad first impression. Dwalin's directions proved easier to follow, taking him down a glass staircase to a clear ball in the depths, full of apartments. One of the doors opened as he passed, revealing an empty room. It held little more than a steel-framed bed, a glass desk with an ID card and lanyard laying on it, and some lockers for furniture. Aldous shrugged, flopped onto the bed, and fell asleep.

  * 5 *

  He woke up itchy. When he rolled over onto his back, he winced at a pain from somewhere on his spine. There was a fluffy pillow beside him... with black fur and white stripes... attached to him.

  He leaped out of bed, unable to escape his new tail. The fur felt coarse, a little scratchy against his hand. Tugging it just hurt him, and he could feel its every twitch. The company had poisoned him with their mad science! He pulled out his phone but had no signal. It took him a moment to recall that he was somewhere beneath the Atlantic Ocean.

  The desk had an intercom panel on it, though. He pushed a button and said, trying to sound calm, "I want to talk to Dwalin in Technical Support."

  The phone played thirty seconds of "Also Sprach Zarathustra" before Dwalin came on and said, "Twenty hours' sleep is a good sign."

  "I have a tail!"

  "Good," said Dwalin. "Meet me in the cafeteria."

  The line went dead, leaving a flustered Aldous to snatch the keycard on his desk, stomp his way back upstairs, and feel the tail bouncing behind him with every step. There was no way to hide the thing. In the cafeteria the water overhead looked night-dark. His sense of time was completely thrown off. Dwalin shared a table with two others: a blue-haired woman, and what appeared to be a centauroid lioness. Four-footed torso with an upper chest that had her arms and head, which were just as fuzzy and leonine as her lower body. Aldous grimaced at the thought that he kind of fit in, now, what with the ridiculous thing bobbing behind him. He looked at the blue-haired one and said, "Does everyone here have to be weird?"

  She stared at Aldous with a look of scorn from deep purple eyes. "I had burns on eighty percent of my skin when Genetech found me."

  Aldous' tail hid between his legs. The feeling of the new muscles and the fluff around them startled him. "Sorry. But what happened to me? Is this just something that happens to every new employee? Wait a moment... It was the beer, wasn't it? How?"

  Dwalin nodded. "I think we owe you an explanation. Have a seat."

  Aldous was about to flop onto an aluminum chair when the lioness called out, "Tail!" Aldous stopped himself from squashing his tail and turned the chair around, so that he could lean forward against the back of it. The lioness added, "You have to keep aware of your shape, if you've changed recently. Once you get used to the sensors or whatever, you'll be fine."

  "Sensors?"

  "In my case. I'm part machine." When Aldous listened carefully he thought he heard faint whirring when she moved.

  Dwalin said, "The beer and a few other vittles here have low-level nanites in 'em. When my bosses are more interested in playing games with a newcomer than giving him a thorough scan for hostile nanotechnology, I find beer to be a useful line of defense."

  The lioness explained, "He gave you the beer as a medical test. Each model of nanites usually has just one effect. The beer is a novelty item with low-level nano in it, that fancier kinds override. So if you drank the beer and all you got from it was a tail and glands, that means you're probably not carrying anything nasty and contagious."

  So Dwalin had done this to him for a reason. "Wait a minute. Scent glands?"

  "Yes," said Dwalin.

  Aldous shuddered. "You were drinking the same stuff!"

  "I've been exposed to nanites and worse already, so most kinds don't affect me. I just like the taste."

  Aldous' mind raced. Just yesterday were the interview with Erin, the plane flight and the boat ride. Then he'd slept nearly a full day, and the tail had happened in his sleep. He tried to put aside his own fluffy problem and figure out just what was going on. He didn't like the sound of "contagious" nanotech. He said, "You've got advanced technology here --"

  "It's a work in progress," the lioness said with a toothy grin.

  "And someone is trying to kill you with it?"

  Blue-hair spoke in a thick Slavic accent. "It is world domination they pursue. The final doom of Man."

  "Or not," said the lioness. "Oh yeah -- miss gloom there is Marie. Since there was nobody with changes like mine when I got them, I'm going by Firestar." She looked expectantly at Aldous.

  His brow furrowed. "So you're Firestar the cat-centaur?"

  "Close! I'm the first-taur."

  Dwalin interrupted Aldous' groan. "We have a job to do."

  "Right; sorry," said Aldous. "Tell me, who else has the tech to create animal-people? Nanites with that kind of power could be -- well, incredibly deadly." Anyone who had the technology to turn someone into a creature like Firestar could, more easily, disassemble them cell by cell into a puddle of goo.

  Dwalin grunted. "So you do know something. The answer is, Genetech itself. We're in the East Campus. The West and South divisions work mostly independently under our General Management, and we suspect one of those two is sabotaging us."

  Marie of the blue hair added, "If the West or South division becomes dominant within the larger company, there will be suffering and oppression and probably layoffs."

  Aldous said, "Uh-huh. And what do those other two branches say about this one?"

  Firestar said, "They think we're frivolous, and not aggressive enough in pushing our technology. Our Director Gattart doesn't want to rule the world, I think. He'd rather rant and
flex his muscles at it than actually administer anything."

  "Now," said Dwalin, "Genetech East's Technical Support department -- largely consisting of us -- has been assigned to keep the inter-campus rivalry in check. A few of our clients have been wondering why they're getting conflicting messages from the company. You know that news story where the Arabs accused the Americans of releasing man-eating badgers in Iraq?"

  Aldous nodded; there were occasional paranoid stories in the Mideast's news that made it into Western press.

  Dwalin said, "The badgers were supposed to go to Afghanistan."

  "Did I walk into some kind of corporate civil war?" asked Aldous.

  Firestar reared up on her hindlegs and shrugged with her arms and forepaws. "There's some sibling rivalry, and a few bad apples. We're the ones who keep the trouble from getting any worse."

  Aldous found himself overwhelmed, but he could say honestly, "It's an honor to be trusted with a job like this, sir. I can put my biology and engineering skills to use if there's mad science to investigate. It'll be great to learn about all the technology here while I investigate the sabotage attempts. It'll be like detective work."

  Dwalin scoffed. "That's my mission. What I have for you suits your skills as a newcomer. You're hereby part of the Excellence Or Else Workplace Task Force." He dug out a sheaf of pamphlets decorated with a steel smiley face. "Morale has been low."

  Aldous picked up a pamphlet and saw that the whole stack was actually one document, around fifty pages long. "What have you done to overcome customer expectations?" he read. He looked up at the others. "I can see why, if they have to read this."

  Marie said, "This is abridged."

  Dwalin said, "You can tell people you're working to improve morale -- which is true -- but really the point is to make sure they get the job done and don't mess with the customers too much."

  Aldous slumped against his chair. "So I'm basically a cheerleader."

  Dwalin's expression was hard to read. "I don't know why Management sent you to me, but we'll make the best of it for now, and get you some experience. Now, I'm headed back to Genetech South to do some..." His expression hardened for a moment. "Cleanup work, and see what I can learn there. Aldous, pick one of these two to stay here and hold your hand while the other goes to the West Campus."

  Aldous was vaguely flattered at having the choice, and not too insulted at the thought that somebody would be helping him figure out what his job was. He looked to Marie and Firestar. Marie was the more normal one, who would make him feel like there was some sanity here, but he found himself drawn more to the lioness' attentive slit-pupiled glance. "Firestar, would you mind?"

  "Sure."

  Dwalin said, "All right. If you're intact when I get back, we'll discuss further work."

  * 6 *

  Aldous walked with Firestar down a glass-tube hall, self-consciously clutching his tail and feeling the tickle of his hand against the fur. "How do I get rid of this?"

  "Why do you want to?" Firestar's own thinner tail twitched, showing off a golden tuft at the tip.

  "It's weird."

  "Not around here. We can get you some modified pants; we have a tailor."

  Aldous paused to watch a jellyfish drift by outside. "I don't want to advertise this thing."

  "No problem. Our motto is, 'Don't ask, don't tail'."

  "Well, what if I sit on it and hurt myself?"

  Firestar kept walking. "The medical plan includes dent-tail coverage."

  "Quit that," said Aldous.

  "Quit what?" she said with a grin. "Okay, we're here."

  They'd stopped at a big airlock-style door. Firestar tapped a panel with one of her forepaws to make it whoosh open. Beyond it was another section of cylindrical hallway, this time metal, with a door at the far end. "Airlock?" asked Aldous.

  The lioness nodded. "Remember, you're here for morale-building. Chat them up, get 'em talking, find out what their complaints are." She opened the inner door.

  Aldous looked into a room dominated by a swimming pool, open to the ocean below. Light rippled along the ceiling and the dive gear on the walls. Dense, humid air wafted around him. "Wrong room," he said.

  Three dolphins' heads broke the water's surface. Each had a panel of circuitry on its jaw. One waved a wrench in its teeth and squeakily said, "New guy?"

  Aldous glanced back at Firestar, who had settled on all fours onto the tile floor. Finding no help, he tried to give the interview/pep talk he'd expected to give to a bunch of cubicle-dwellers, or at least surface-dwellers.

  "I'm Aldous, with the Workplace Task Force. I'm here to ask about morale, and, uh, working conditions."

  The dolphins looked to each other in confusion.

  Aldous scratched his head, tail curling indecisively. How to talk to them? "Um. Job good?"

  "Job good!" said one dolphin, and the others nodded, squeaking.

  "Okay. Any problems? Bad things?"

  They considered this. "Want more fish. Want plas-ma tee-vee. Sur-round sound."

  "What exactly do you do here?" he said, half to himself. "What your job? What is?"

  "Fix tun-nels. Fix glass ball things. Sea no squish hu-mans."

  "Engineers! Okay, that's something I can relate to. Got tools? Good tools?"

  "Tools good. Get more fish? Sword-fish?"

  "Sorry. I didn't bring any." They looked blankly at him. He tried, "Me no have fish."

  "Have big tail," said one.

  Another chimed in, "Like big tails. Not lie. Oth-er mam-mals not de-ny. When --" The other dolphins said, "Ssh, ssh."

  Aldous wasn't sure what else he could get across to them. "You see problem, you tell me. Okay?"

  "O-kay, hu-man! Bye now!" The sleek heads ducked beneath the water and were gone... until one surfaced just long enough to squeak, "Hope you swim bet-ter than you talk!"

  Aldous stood there looking at the empty pool. "They were putting me on?"

  Behind him Firestar said, "Cybernetic augmentation doesn't make 'phins stop being smartasses."

  "Is there someone else I could talk to?"

  "How about my favorite department? They're usually pretty boring."

  "I'm sure. So... when do I get to start working for real instead of being pranked?"

  She seemed surprised. "That was legitimate work. You just helped some of our employees have fun, and even got a specific request for a TV."

  * 7 *

  The lioness led Aldous back out of the pool room and down stairs and tunnels to another lab, deeper underwater. A sign labeled it "Integrated Investigation". This cluttered room of machinery seemed to be part chop shop, part medical clinic.

  "Can I touch stuff in here?" asked Aldous, admiring a robotic workstation that was weaving threads of plastic into an elaborate cable.

  "Yeah, but be careful," said Firestar. "Generally you should watch out before touching anything unknown in this company. Or eating or drinking, or wearing anything, or inhaling anything. You don't want to spend a month as a busty skunk-girl, at least by accident."

  "Is that possible?" he said. The fluffy tail behind him wriggled, still catching his attention. He'd have to be careful not to knock anything over with it. Already he'd felt it brushing against the walls or tickling his legs.

  "That's more the Genetic Engineering department. What goes on here is -- well, you can pester Luke over there."

  A big man with glasses and a scruffy jacket was staring blankly at a screen, drumming his fingers on one knee. When Aldous greeted him, he waved. Aldous said, "What do you do here?"

  "This and that. Cyborg stuff." A wall chart showed grey muscles that Aldous realized looked like the material that the nearby robot was weaving.

  Aldous said, "I'm hearing that there's been some trouble around the company lately. Know anything?" By now, Aldous had figured out that he needed to work on how to read people, but he guessed that Luke wasn't Mister Enthusiasm.

  Luke shrugged. "I've been kind of bored lately. Haven't asked around."
/>   "Bored! Here?" said Aldous, too stunned to follow that up.

  Firestar said, "Excuse Aldous; he's new here. Can he look around?"

  "Whatever."

  Aldous went into an area that was walled off with glass; it had a lot less motor oil and stray wiring to hurt himself with. He saw a couple of inner rooms whose walls were frosted glass, and stepped through a doorway. There he saw a fox-furred nurse fussing with equipment around a girl in a hospital bed.

  The girl winced as the nurse adjusted an IV tube running to a needle in her arm. "Can I come back and visit sometime?"

  The nurse sighed. "You won't remember. We can't advertise everything we do, just yet."

  Aldous felt he should leave them alone, but it wouldn't hurt to say hello. He did.

  The nurse just nodded. The girl was cheerier. "Skunky!"

  "What?" Aldous said, and then he remembered the weight curled along his back. "Oh. Heh. Like it?"

  "It's cute. Are you a doctor?"

  "No, I'm kind of an inspector for now. Can I ask why you're here?" The nurse didn't object.

  "I was real sick, an' then this guy talked to my parents and had the doctors chop out all the bad stuff and give me a robot lung an' a robot liver. I hate liver, don't you?"

  "Yeah," he said. He didn't know anyone had invented implants like that yet. He hadn't heard of any clinical trials... which might explain why this surgery was happening twenty leagues under the sea. It was illegal, and being done with only a wink and nod from the government, if that. He looked to the nurse. "So you're using some kind of memory suppressor to hide the details of what we're doing?"