Breathless

by HELEN HARDT

  “See? I’m truly sorry this has been rough for you, but you will get through it, and then you’ll have three beautiful children.”

  She groaned. “And then I’m done. I can’t go through this again, Marj. Three is good.”

  “You may change your mind when you hold your baby.”

  “I don’t know. I sure hope you don’t have to go through this when you get pregnant.”

  “Not something I need to worry about for the near future.” Or ever, it seemed like sometimes.

  “Still nothing with Bryce?”

  “Nope. I saw him today, and he couldn’t have been more frigid toward me.”

  “Give him time.”

  “Time?”

  “Well…yeah. He’s been through just as much as the rest of us, and maybe more, in a way. He’s just not ready right now.”

  “Not ready? I slept with him!” I blurted out.

  Jade’s blue eyes went wide. “Oh. My. God. When?”

  “Last night.”

  “While I was at the hospital?”

  I nodded.

  “Well…?”

  “It was amazing,” I said dreamily. “I’ve been around the block a few times, and I’ve never experienced anything like being with Bryce.”

  “That’s great!”

  “Not so much. He couldn’t wait to get out of here this morning. Except he couldn’t, because he was meeting with Joe and Ryan. I got up to feed the boys and take them to the bus, and then I escaped here as soon as I could. He could hardly look at me, Jade. I felt like a pariah.”

  “But…during?”

  “The fucking?”

  “I was thinking lovemaking, but yeah.”

  It had felt like lovemaking, but I was determined not to get caught up in euphemisms. Not when he’d run like hell afterward. “He was attentive, sweet, everything wonderful you could imagine.”

  “Wow.”

  “That’s it?”

  “I’m just surprised,” she said. “Not that the fucking was good, but that he hightailed it out of there. Bryce is a warm person, from what little I know of him.”

  “He is,” I agreed. “Or was. A lot like Ryan, you know? Always joking and laughing. That side of him seems to have taken a hike.”

  “Coinciding with learning the truth about his father, I’d guess.”

  “Well, of course, and I understand that. I just thought…” I stopped. What had I thought? Fact was, I hadn’t really been thinking at all. I’d let my horniness be my guide, and so had he.

  “You thought what?”

  “Nothing. Maybe I was just in the right place at the right time. Truth is, I was determined to show him I was no longer the little girl with unicorns on her bedroom walls.”

  “I think you’ve done that.”

  “I thought I had too.”

  “Methinks unicorns are no longer the issue,” Jade said.

  “Then what is the issue?”

  “Bryce himself. Maybe he doesn’t want to saddle you with an instant family?”

  “But I love Henry.”

  “True, and he knows that. But there’s his mother, too. She’s become totally dependent on him and Henry.”

  “I have no problem with his mother.”

  “You say that now…” She shook her head. “Talon was an angel while my mom was living here, but I know she got on his nerves.”

  “Evelyn is not Brooke Bailey. In fact, she’s the anti-Brooke.”

  “True again.”

  A thought speared into my mind. Had Talon mentioned Colin to Jade? I didn’t know. I’d check with him before I mentioned to her that I’d run into him at the smoothie shop. The last thing I wanted was to upset her while she was still freaking out about the pregnancy.

  Donny returned, dragging Dale with him. That was my cue to leave. I needed to talk to Talon.

  Chapter Twenty–Two

  Bryce

  I joined Henry and my mother for lunch and then told her I was going for a walk to think about the Steels’ offer.

  Truthfully, I just wanted some alone time. In between daydreams of Marjorie, I’d been ruminating on the call from Ted Morse. What the hell did he want? If he was gunning for money, he was barking up the wrong tree. I didn’t have any. The Steels had the deep pockets in this scenario, and neither they nor I owed the Morses anything.

  I wasn’t responsible for my father’s actions.

  Still, I gulped.

  Ted’s son had been through something unthinkable at the hands of my old man.

  If I had anything close to Steel money, I’d consider giving something to Colin. But his father? Hell, no. He’d tried to frame my best friend for my father’s crimes. He’d get nothing from me.

  I walked along, peering through the windows of the shops on Main. I stopped at the flower shop. In the window was a bouquet of the yellow lilies I’d seen on Marjorie’s kitchen table. I stood there, overwhelmed by the urge to buy flowers for her. I resisted, shoving my hands in my pockets. I didn’t have money to spend on expensive flowers, and I didn’t have the emotional strength to get involved with anyone—especially Marjorie Steel, who deserved everything in the world.

  I wandered by the tattoo shop. I was ink free, but I’d often thought of getting one. Definitely not a phoenix. A dragon, maybe. Or an eagle. Absently, I turned the handle on the door and walked in.

  “Hey,” a multipierced young woman with spiky black hair greeted me. “Can I help you?”

  “Just thinking. Do you have any design books I can look at?”

  She pointed to a table where several thick books sat. “Knock yourself out.”

  I picked up the thickest book and sat down, plunking it on my lap. I thumbed through the pages quickly, waiting for something to catch my attention.

  Something did.

  Not a tattoo I’d consider getting, but the phoenix Ruby’s father had on his forearm, the very tattoo that had both tormented and saved Talon during his months in captivity. Theodore Mathias had gotten the tattoo years ago, using the name Milo Sanchez.

  I quickly turned the page. I couldn’t deny it was a fascinatingly beautiful tattoo, but to the Steels and to me, it meant so much more than that. It was a symbol of an evil man, a man we all wished we could forget.

  Maybe a tattoo wasn’t such a good idea after all. I had no idea what image I was looking for. Most probably went into a shop already knowing what they were looking for.

  If only I could find something that could negate my father.

  Could negate…

  I slammed the book shut. This was stupid. Completely stupid. A tattoo wasn’t some magic charm that could fix my life.

  Maybe it was time to talk to someone. Really talk to someone. I put the book back on the table and walked out. As I opened the door, I met a familiar gaze.

  A gaze that was only familiar to me because of my father.

  Colin Morse.

  His hair had grown out from the shaved head my father had given him. I cleared my throat. “Excuse me.”

  Colin cringed but held his ground.

  Just what I didn’t need. Another reminder of how much I resembled that psychopath who’d sired me.

  What to do? Escape? Or say hello? Or say I’m sorry my father put you through hell?

  Nothing seemed right. This innocent young man not yet three decades old had been brutalized beyond my imagination.

  At the hands of my father.

  He said nothing, just froze, the door still open, staring at me. Did he know his father had contacted me? Did he know what it could be about? I wanted to ask him all these things, but the words lodged in my throat.

  “Hey!” the girl behind the counter yelled. “Shut the door, will you? It’s freaking cold outside.”

  The weather was actually nice for early February, but Haley—as her nametag said—was wearing a black camisole crop top, no doubt to show off the triple piercing in her belly button.

  I stepped back in and allowed Colin to pass. “Sorry,” I said to Haley. Then,
to Colin, because I felt like a fool not acknowledging him, “Getting a tattoo?”

  He nodded.

  “You Colin?” Haley asked.

  He nodded again.

  “Come on in. Trevor’s ready for you. You’re a virgin, right?”

  I swung my head around and stared at Haley.

  “Yeah,” Colin said.

  “A virgin?” I couldn’t help asking.

  “Virgin skin. Never tatted,” Haley explained.

  “Oh.” I nodded. “I guess I’m a virgin too.”

  “Did you see anything you liked?” she asked.

  “Not really. Nothing stood out to me.”

  “Well, you think about it.” She nodded to Colin. “Follow me.”

  I should leave. I should walk right out that door. But I couldn’t. Everything in me forced my body to immobility.

  I wanted to know what Colin was having tattooed on his body. Where he was having it tattooed on his body. And why he was doing it here, in Snow Creek, the home of his brutalizer.

  Once Colin had disappeared into the back, Haley returned. “You still here?”

  “Yeah.”

  She lifted her brow. “And…why?”

  “Curious,” I said.

  “About what?”

  “About which tattoo Colin is getting.”

  “You a friend of his? Because he didn’t say one word to you.”

  “Not a friend, exactly. An acquaintance.”

  “Then what do you care?”

  I didn’t have a lot of money to spare, but I pulled out a twenty-dollar bill from my wallet and pushed it toward Haley. “Just tell me what he’s getting.”

  She took the money and slipped it beneath her crop top. “Sure. It’s not like we have a tattoo artist and client confidentiality thing. You didn’t need to pay me.”

  Fuck. But I didn’t ask for the money back. “So?”

  “It’s something he designed himself. Pretty artistic, actually.” She pulled out a piece of paper and slid it over to me.

  I held back a gasp.

  It was a skull. A skull missing the entire left side of the cranium. All in black except for the eyes of a snake slithering out from the break. I’d seen similar images, but the snake usually had red eyes.

  Not this one.

  Blue eyes.

  Like my father’s.

  Like mine.

  Underneath were words in block letters.

  Save Yourself.

  Chapter Twenty–Three

  Marjorie

  I found Talon in his office, on the phone. He motioned me in, so I sat down across from his desk. The chair was warm.

  Was this where Bryce had sat earlier?

  Maybe, but the warmth had nothing to do with that. It had been hours ago. God, I was being so ridiculous.

  Talon ended his call. “Is Jade okay?”

  I nodded. “The boys are with her, so I left. I need to ask you something.”

  “What?”

  “Did you tell Jade about Colin?”

  “No. Crap. Did you?”

  “No. I wanted to ask you first.”

  “Good. I don’t want anything upsetting her right now. She’s still freaked out about possibly losing the baby.” He sighed. “Frankly, so am I.”

  “You won’t lose the baby.”

  “There are no guarantees, Sis, and she’s had a tough time.”

  “I know. It doesn’t help that Brooke has been in her face, telling her what an easy pregnancy she had.”

  Talon ruffled his fingers through his hair. “That dumb bitch! Sorry. I know she’s my mother-in-law, but damn.”

  “She’s a piece of work,” I agreed. “Jade is trying so hard to have a relationship with her, but Brooke just has no clue how to be a parent.”

  “No shit,” he said. “I’ll take care of Brooke.”

  “Talon…”

  “For God’s sake, Marj. I’m not going to do anything to her. Jade is determined to have a relationship with her, and I support that. But Brooke needs to focus on her daughter for once in her life.”

  “Preaching to the choir here, Tal.”

  “I’ll take care of it.”

  “In the meantime, I feel I should tell you. Colin wants to talk to Jade. He wants me to arrange it.”

  “Yeah. Not going to happen.”

  “I figured that’s what you’d say. Apparently that’s why he’s in Snow Creek.”

  “He could pick up a phone.”

  “He seemed to want to see her in person.”

  “He doesn’t have her number anyway,” Talon went on. “I plan to keep it that way.”

  “Tal, you of all peo—”

  “Stop right there. I’ve no love lost for Colin Morse, but I get it. I’m the only one who probably truly gets it, other than my sons.” He winced. “God.”

  “Tal, don’t.”

  “It’s okay. You can’t hide. Melanie taught me that. But Colin and Jade have a past, one that ended with her heartbroken and humiliated. He can stay the hell away from her.”

  “I tend to agree.”

  “Why did he come to you?”

  “I’m not sure he meant to. He happened to come into the smoothie shop while I was there. And…”

  “And what?”

  “We used to be friends, Tal. He was engaged to my best friend. I thought he was a good guy. I’ve known him since freshman year of college. I was as surprised as Jade when he didn’t show up for their wedding. That wasn’t like him.”

  “Well, I’m glad he didn’t show up. Or Jade and I wouldn’t have met.”

  “Me too. You and Jade belong together. But still…”

  “Look, he got cold feet. He’s not the first guy to be an ass on his wedding day. And now—especially now—he has regrets. Hell, he had regrets when he showed up here and I gave him a fucking black eye.”

  I cleared my throat. “Not your finest moment.”

  “Maybe not, but I have no regrets. He deserved it for hurting Jade.”

  “That’s not why you did it, Tal.”

  He chuckled. “You’re right, Sis. I did it out of jealousy. In the heat of the moment. And I got tased and locked up for it.”

  “You did.”

  “Why are you telling me this? Do you think Jade should talk to Colin?”

  “I don’t know, honestly. I just know that at one time, Colin was a good guy, and now, after all he’s been through…”

  “He doesn’t deserve mercy just because he’s been through hell. I never got a shred of mercy.”

  “Talon, no one knew. You didn’t want mercy.”

  “No, I didn’t. Did you think that maybe he doesn’t either?”

  I scratched my head. “No. I honestly didn’t think of that.”

  “Did you think maybe he’s blaming Jade for what he’s been through? If she hadn’t started a relationship with me, none of this would have happened.”

  Now I felt like a dolt. “No, I guess not.”

  “Don’t blame yourself. But trust me. When you go through something traumatizing, you play the ‘what if?’ game a lot. I did it for years.”

  “I’m sorry, Tal.”

  “Don’t be.”

  “But you have an outlook that I don’t.”

  “And Sis, I’m glad you don’t.”

  I nodded, biting my lip. “Do you think Colin sees Jade as something from his former life, a life he’s desperate to cling to?”

  “Something like that. I don’t know. I’m guessing. But it makes a certain amount of sense, don’t you think?”

  I couldn’t deny it. “So rather than allow him to see Jade, who is part of his former life, he needs to deal with the life he has now.”

  “Yup. And this is coming from someone who didn’t deal with his own shit for decades. That’s way too long, by the way.”

  I nodded. Nothing to say to that. Poor Talon had suffered without help throughout the majority of his life, and I’d been ignorant of everything until only several short months ago.

/>   He went on, “I don’t want anyone fucking with Jade’s emotions right now, and that’s what Colin would do. That’s what Brooke is doing. I’m putting a stop to it. Jade has enough to deal with at the moment.”

  I nodded again. “I get it, and I agree. Colin won’t see Jade.”

  “Or talk to her.”

  “Right. I have his number.” I pulled out the card he’d given me at the smoothie shop.

  “Give it to me. I’ll make sure he’s blocked on Jade’s phone, just in case he has her number.”

  I handed it to him.

  It was the right decision. For Jade.

  But something invisible swept over the back of my neck. Colin wasn’t going to disappear. Something was going to go down.

  This wasn’t over.

  Chapter Twenty–Four

  Bryce

  I’d flipped through that damned book, waiting for a design to speak to me, and now one was screaming my name.

  Colin’s design.

  This was the tattoo I wanted.

  How sick was that? This image was no doubt born of the damage my father had inflicted on its designer. So why the hell was it speaking to me?

  “He designed this himself?”

  “That’s what he says.” Haley shrugged. “It’s not like we check copyrights and trademarks here. Someone wants the Coke logo, that’s what we give them.”

  “Someone actually wanted the Coke logo tattooed on their body?”

  “Sure. We don’t ask questions. We just do the work.”

  “How much does a tattoo cost?”

  “Depends. Usually a minimum of about three hundred.”

  Had I heard correctly? “Dollars?”

  “No. Three hundred potatoes.” She rolled her eyes. “Of course dollars. Jeez.”

  That settled that. No tattoo for me, at least not today. Mom and I needed to be frugal until I started earning income.

  Speaking of income, I had no choice but to accept the Steels’ offer. To do otherwise would make me a selfish ass. I’d just have to stay far, far away from Marjorie.

  With her in the main house and me in the guesthouse, it wasn’t going to be easy.

  I took out my phone and called Joe.