Durarara!!, Vol. 11

by Ryohgo Narita

  She was a headless woman who let her actions speak for her missing face. One who held this strong, secret desire within her heart.

  That was Celty Sturluson in a nutshell.

  With that reflection in the background of her mind, Celty typed a message on her PDA for Namie, whom Shingen had apparently rescued earlier.

  “For now…let me just say one thing to you.”

  “I have no reason to lend an ear to whatever you want to say. Or lend an eye, I suppose, in this case.”

  “…Do you understand the situation you’re in right now?! Do you recall what you did to my head?!” Celty threatened, her shadows oozing outward as she brandished the PDA.

  But Namie looked utterly smug as she replied, “Yes, I’m aware. I also remember that the doctor sitting in the wheelchair was an accomplice.”

  Ugh! Well, that weakens my position…

  Namie Yagiri had spent years studying Celty’s head and was the very person who had made off with it after the first in-person meeting of the Dollars. While Celty’s drive to reclaim her head might have weakened a bit, that didn’t mean she had nothing to get off her chest.

  But given that she had already forgiven Shinra—who had helped Namie hide the head and even did plastic surgery on a teenage girl’s face—Celty really didn’t have it within her to maintain her hatred of this woman. If Celty were a true hero on the side of justice, she might have chastened Namie Yagiri for her human experimentation, but she couldn’t pretend to be perfectly in the right, given that she was a courier who often worked with mafia types.

  “…I’m not actually all that fixated on it anymore, but I might as well ask, Am I correct in assuming that Izaya Orihara has my head now?”

  “I want to ask you that too, Sis,” said Seiji, sneaking a glance at the question on the PDA.

  “Seiji…,” she murmured, looking at her brother with a conflicted expression. She was silent for quite a while, until she exhaled at last in resignation and shot Celty a dirty look. “That’s right… I gave the head to that sarcastic asshole. Right after I ran away from you outside of Tokyu Hands, in fact.”

  “…Right after?”

  “Yes. It was within half a day, I think.”

  Celty clenched her fists. That devious fox. He already had the head placed somewhere during the Saika incident, and he had the gall to demand thirty thousand yen from me… But I’ve never felt its aura as strongly as I did this recent time…

  “I don’t think that freak had it placed in just one spot, though. He moved it around from place to place. Sometimes he brought it into his office and tossed it around like a ball.”

  That…is what he does with someone’s head…? Celty thought, her shoulders twitching. But it was Seiji who expressed his anger first.

  “How…how could he torment her that way…?”

  “Well, uh, ‘her’ in this case would actually be me.”

  “Izaya Orihara…you bastard…” The usually stoic Seiji seethed, clenching his fists. Namie embraced her brother around the back.

  “It’s all right, Seiji. If you want to stab him, I’ll give you all the help you need. In fact, there’s no reason for you to dirty your hands on him at all. I would gladly eat a fifteen-year sentence for you.”

  “Learn to have some principles!”

  “Huh? Principles? A monster freeloading at a human’s apartment has the gall to lecture me about principles? A woman who does illegal courier work on a motorcycle without a license plate?”

  Those barbs cut Celty deep. Shinra thought, The fact that she gets depressed rather than angry here is one of Celty’s cute aspects, but he knew that if he spoke it aloud, the barbs would turn into knives that tore at her flesh instead.

  Conscious of Shinra’s somewhat twisted attention on her, Celty made a show of heaving her shoulders into a sigh, and typed, “All right… Forget it. I’ll hold on to what I want to say to you. Just know that I haven’t forgiven you for that. Trust me, I gave Shinra his punishment.”

  “Oh? Punishment, you say? Let me guess, you punched him once, then made up, and went on to engage in some kind of beastly mating ritual?”

  “How did you know that?!”

  Celty’s shadows burst out of her like steam from a heated kettle. Shinra tried to back her up by saying, “That’s very rude of you, Namie! It wasn’t beastly! If anything, Celty at night is as cute and sweet as a baby rabbi—bwubrulbwobb,” until she stuffed shadows into his mouth to stop him from talking.

  “Wh-wh-why would you think that was a good thing to say at this point?!”

  “Now, wait a moment, Celty! What do you do with my son at night? I think I have a right to know more!”

  “Shut up, you family of creepers!”

  It was into the midst of this argument that Yumasaki cluelessly spoke up.

  “Pardon me—what do you mean by ‘head’? Did Izaya do something again?”

  “Oh. Umm…well…”

  Crap. I’m going to have to explain the whole story, she realized.

  “The truth is, it turns out that Izaya is currently in possession of the head I’m missing…”

  “What?! Celty, you mean that your body’s going out with Dr. Kishitani…while your face is going out with Izaya?! Is this two-timing?! If you ever admit this on your blog, prepare to get flamed in the comments!”

  “Er, no. My head and body have separate consciousness…I guess…”

  “…Ah, meaning…,” Shingen started to say, until a black blade jabbed at his throat. “Wh-what is this all about, Celty?! I haven’t said anything to…”

  “Trust me, I can tell. You were about to drop some kind of disgustingly crude joke at my expense.”

  “Why, this is madness, what proof do you have of that…?” he protested, but the way he was clearly trying to avoid looking at her was proof enough.

  She was about to string Shingen up with shadow when Namie chimed in, her voice dripping with glee. “Yes, that’s right. Izaya and your head were in love.”

  “Huhhh?!” Celty typed in the process of spinning around 180 degrees.

  But Namie was speaking to her brother now. “So I hate to be the bearer of bad news for you, but you must give up on that fickle, unfaithful woman. Did you realize that Izaya and that head speak deeply of their love for each other every night? But while her mouth says, ‘Izaya this, Izaya that,’ her body desires that doctor over there… That’s right, she’s a wretched slut! You’re too good for some tawdry whore like her, Seiji!”

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa, enough of the nonsense accusations!” Celty typed, bumping up the font size for emphasis. Then she paused before continuing, “I mean…it is nonsense…right? The head doesn’t wake up on its own…right?”

  “That’s a good question, isn’t it? And yet, it has nothing to do with you, does it?”

  “Of course it has something to do with me!” she typed, while Shinra leaned forward in his wheelchair and shouted, “It’s got nothing to do with you, right, Celty? You already gave up on that head!”

  “Uh. Oh, um. Y-yeah. Yeah, I wish I could agree…but it was a part of me once, and I guess I feel a bit nervous about it being in Izaya’s hands…”

  “It’s all right! No matter what might be happening to your head, wherever it is, I can make you a hundred times happier!”

  “Shinra…,” she replied, overcome with emotion, but then thought better of it and pulled the PDA back. “No…wait. You almost swept me away with the momentum of that statement—but was what you said even a good thing?”

  “Does it actually matter? It’s fine, Celty. Izaya has almost no interest in anything that’s not human. He probably either used it as an actual ball or, at best, treated it like an expensive vase.”

  “That doesn’t make me feel better about it at all…,” she retorted.

  Meanwhile, Seiji spoke forcefully to his sister. “It’s all right, Sis. It doesn’t matter to me how much love she feels for other people. All I want is for the last person she ever smiles at to be me.�
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  “Seiji… Ugh, it kills me to admit this…but I love how perfectly ‘you’ that faithful sentiment is…”

  What in the world is going on here?!

  “It’s all right, Seiji! Even after that head is gone from the world, I’ll still be here to smile for you!” interjected Mika.

  “Be silent, cat burglar,” Namie spat back. “I hope you lose all nine of your lives and get your guts pulled out for shamisen strings.”

  “What a horrible thing to say! But if I can still play beautiful music for Seiji as a shamisen, then I guess I’d be happy!”

  Are you lot being morbid or romantic? Make up your mind! Celty thought, apparently the only person in the room who seemed willing to call out other people on their nonsense—even if she didn’t fully understand what was happening.

  It was Yumasaki, a third party in the conversation, who put an end to her brave attempt at enforcing normalcy once and for all:

  “Oh, I get it, Seiji. The warlord who ruled the postapocalyptic wasteland said something very similar! He said that as long as the woman he loved was by his side at the end, all was well! That’s what love means!”

  “Thank you…thank you! I’ll do my best to follow this teaching!”

  “You know, you’ve got a pretty strong attraction to two-dimensional elements, falling in love with a dullahan head! If you want, I can give you some kinky doujins about dullahans and folklore monsters whose heads fly off.”

  People make those things?! The world out there is way too big! And so is Yumasaki’s strike zone, for that matter! Celty thought, even more confused than before.

  Shinra asked, “Yumasaki, will you show me those comics later? Just the ones about the dullahan, thank you.”

  “Shinra!”

  “Don’t worry, Celty! It’s not like I’ll take any woman, as long as she’s a dullahan! I just want to try re-creating whatever sexy situation that comic depicts, that’s all! My only purpose is to do sexy stuff with you! Please, my dear!”

  “How dare you say that in front of other people as though you’re being the reasonable one!”

  She let the tendrils of shadow that had been reaching for Shingen divert toward Shinra and forcefully dragged him upward.

  “Ow-ow-ow-ow, I’m sorry, Celty, don’t get so ang… Koff!”

  For just a moment, he looked truly pained, as if Celty’s shadows had gotten into his injury site. Frightened, she instantly dispersed her shadow like mist and hurried over to the wheelchair.

  “I’m sorry, Shinra! I was just doing the usual thing… Are you all right?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s good physical rehab.”

  “I’m really sorry…,” she said, wilting.

  Now that he was free from her shadows, Shingen said, “You know, Celty, for being so bold most of the time, you really become so very soft around Shinra, don’t you? I shall have to add that to my research report for Nebula.”

  “Wait. What research report?”

  “Ha-ha-ha! When I submit observation reports on nonhuman beings like you, I get a bonus! Even reports on romantic feelings like the ones you just displayed!”

  It was Yumasaki who jumped on Shingen’s explanation. “Wait a moment, Dr. Kishitani’s father! There are nonhuman reports?! Like on vampires who look like young girls but have been alive for centuries, or wolf women who play hard to get?”

  “Heh-heh-heh… Between you and me, friend of my son—of course! It’s not my assignment, but I do happen to have seen reports on ancient loli vampires who love video games and beautiful werewolf girls who love to eat.”

  Several of these words, muffled by the gas mask, caused reactions in Yumasaki, his eyes shining bright through his narrow eyelids.

  “Oooh! Dr. Kishitani, you’re a lot more familiar with our kind than I thought! This is incredible! It’s the entrance to the 2-D world! Please, I beg of you! I’d sell half my soul for an introduction to that vampire! Then I can use her supernatural powers to find out who hit-and-ran Kadota and give ’em the old huppety-ho!”

  “Hit-and-ran? Kadota? What is all this? Anyway, even if I wanted to, I don’t have the connections to put you in touch. More importantly, I’d either be docked pay or discharged from my position.”

  Sensing that things were getting even more out of her control, Celty took a deep breath (or made the motion of it anyway) and emitted shadow onto the ceiling, drawing a word balloon like in a comic book, complete with speed lines and large shadow letters.

  “Don’t make things even more complicated!!”

  Ikebukuro

  Meanwhile, the one person who knew the location of the head—Izaya Orihara—was in great danger.

  While in contact with Kasane Kujiragi over the phone, he was attacked by Slon, who was under the control of her “other” Saika, and knocked totally unconscious.

  The over-six-foot-tall Slon slung the lifeless Izaya over his shoulder and headed down the emergency staircase.

  “Sorry, Izaya Orihara,” the Russian man said, his Japanese flawless. “You probably thought you were going to manipulate me into being a double agent against the Awakusu-kai…but you never noticed that I was working for Matushka.”

  Saika.

  The cursed sword that Jinnai Yodogiri had sold to Shingen Kishitani. The weapon that had severed Celty Sturluson’s head from her body.

  As fate would have it, that blade was passed down from a woman named Sayaka Sonohara to the body of her daughter Anri, where it continued to sing its love for humanity. By cutting others, it instilled the curse of its love in them, creating “children” as it continued to infect humanity as a whole—except that Anri did not desire this, and for the time being, she showed no signs of creating new children with her blade.

  However, Saika’s body was not only in the singular blade that Anri Sonohara held.

  At the time that it was sold to Shingen, there were already two cursed blades.

  It had been broken in two, the pieces reforged.

  While this might make them shorter, at the point they were absorbed into a human body, the shape itself was meaningless. In the hands of a skilled practitioner like Anri’s mother, the blade could grow to many times its length on her willpower alone.

  At any rate, one of the “branched” Saikas wound up with Anri Sonohara. The other resided within Kasane Kujiragi’s body.

  At some point in time, Kujiragi had cut Slon, and on her orders, he now knocked out Izaya Orihara to take him to Kujiragi’s base of operations.

  Slon reached the bottom of the emergency stairs, the whites of his eyes violently bloodshot, which was the symbol of Saika’s children. He prepared to load the cargo into his vehicle.

  “Whatcha doing, Mr. Slon?”

  He spun around and saw two men wearing jackets with a dragon emblem stitched onto them. They were members of Dragon Zombie, the motorcycle gang Izaya used as henchmen.

  “…He fell down the stairs and hit the back of his head against the floor. I’m taking him to the hospital,” he made up on the spot. The problem was, he was so comfortable lying to them that nothing in his voice actually suggested any haste or concern.

  The two Dragon Zombie thugs glanced at each other, then asked, “Shall we take him?”

  “No, I can manage on my own.”

  “We can’t have that, sir. You’re hired help from the Awakusu-kai. We can’t have you taking him right to the Awakusu-kai office, for example.”

  So they hadn’t trusted Slon in the first place. Independent of the matter of Saika, Izaya must have warned his other cohorts to be wary of the Awakusu-kai.

  “…Ah, I see. In that case, I’ll ask for your help,” he said, and no sooner were the words out of his mouth than he hurled Izaya’s body at one of the Dragon Zombies.

  “Wha…?!”

  The man wasn’t able to support the shock of all that weight and toppled backward.

  Meanwhile, Slon lunged forward toward the remaining man, caught him with a vicious hook to the chin, then spun back and kicke
d the falling youth in the same spot.

  They weren’t catastrophic blows, but the instant shock to the brain was enough to give them concussions, and the two motorcycle thugs fell unconscious.

  “…It’s a good thing it was you guys,” Slon muttered. “If you were Kine or Sharaku, it would have meant more work for me.” He picked Izaya’s body back up and loaded it into his car.

  He started the car and took off, leaving the two unconscious men behind.

  But the moment he turned the corner, another member of Dragon Zombie poked his head around the side of the building. He pulled a wireless communicator out and started speaking to someone on the other end.

  “…It’s me.”

  “The little fish has been hooked.”

  Fifteen minutes later—Tokyo

  In a quieter residential area, quite a way off from the commercial sector, there was a residence with its own yard.

  Slon pulled his car into the garage of this building, which looked like a completely ordinary home. Then, hidden from the outside, he opened the inner garage door to the house and started to load Izaya inside—when he sensed the sound of motorcycles in the distance.

  They were idling, not riding, but he didn’t feel that they were just waiting for a light to turn.

  Did they follow me?

  He spun around and learned that his suspicion was correct.

  Just outside of the garage entrance was a young woman with a tomboyish air. Her buzz-cut hair and masculine musculature marked her as none other than Mikage Sharaku, one of Izaya’s companions; she and Slon had interacted on multiple occasions before.

  She glanced at the unconscious body in his arms. “I don’t really understand what’s going on here.”

  “…”

  “May I take this to mean an agent of the Awakusu-kai has finally showed his true colors?”

  “Not quite. But the circumstances are not actually that far off,” Slon said. He approached Mikage with Izaya in his arms, preparing to try the same trick as a few minutes before. “I doubt you’re alone. Does your driver use a bike, too? I guess I’ll finish off the both of you and wait for more orders from Matushka.”