by Lenora Worth
Dinah bobbed her head, her curls bouncing.
Tobias gave Josie a quick glance and looked down at his hands. Josie thought that did have a nice ring, but would it ever happen?
Pamela wiped at her eyes. “Dinah, hi. I’m...so glad to meet you. I’m Pamela. Pam.”
Dinah offered her prize to Pamela to look at, then twisted around, her bare feet pressed together on the wooden floor while she turned shy.
“That’s so pretty,” Pamela said, glancing at Tobias before she handed the carving back to Dinah. “Did you carve this?”
“Ja,” he said, looking sheepish.
Pamela’s smile was bittersweet. “I still have the little car you carved for Drew. He kept it on a shelf in his bedroom.”
Tobias only nodded and then shot Josie an apologetic glimpse. He was caught between the friend he’d once had and the woman who’d left him. Her heart couldn’t deny empathy for him.
Theodore cleared his throat. “She looks like—”
He stopped and rubbed a hand down his face. “This is harder than I thought it would be.” Glancing toward his wife, he said in a low voice, “So like him.”
Pamela could only nod. “So precious and beautiful.” She sniffed and touched a hand to Dinah’s curls. “I can’t thank you enough for letting us visit. I understand now how you must feel, thinking we’d...do anything to upset her.” Leaning down, she reached out her hands. “Dinah, would you like to sit in my lap?”
Dinah glanced at Josiah and Raesha, as if unsure.
Josiah swallowed and sighed. “It’s all right, bobbeli. Go ahead and sit with the nice lady.”
Raesha stood. “I have iced tea and cinnamon crumb cake. I’ll get it ready.”
Glad for something to do, Alisha did the same. “I’ll pass out the tea.”
“I’ll help,” Josie offered, but Tobias tugged at her arm, shaking his head slightly. “I’ll do it.”
She didn’t argue with him or Alisha. He might need to move about to purge some of his anger and regret. He was usually calm when she was a mess, but today he had jumped to her defense, his own emotions spilling over.
In spite of her flaws, Tobias saw her heart. Josie could keep that realization close, at least.
She saw his heart, too, in the little carving he’d made for Dinah. The child was at no fault. Tobias knew that and accepted Dinah the way they all had. The way she now did. Had she accepted the child too late to keep her close?
Tobias had stayed close to Josie once he’d found her again. Was that how Gott did it? Did He remain close even when someone couldn’t accept His love? Josie wished she’d been more devout in knowing the Lord watched out for His lost sheep. She could see that now. Tobias was a strong example of such a stance.
Tobias would always be the kind of man who put Gott and his faith first. Who looked after others with an unyielding sacrifice and stood up for what was right. She didn’t deserve him and yet he was here, and he was standing by her and the child who had come between them. That same child who now held a room full of tense, worried people in the palm of her little hand.
Why had Josie held back from truly loving her daughter? She had always loved Dinah, and she’d resented her, too. Josie had brought Dinah here out of sheer desperation and she’d returned here for the same reason—they had nowhere else to go.
Glancing around while Dinah made these sad people smile and laugh, Josie remembered Katy’s words about being almost happy.
She could be completely happy if she only looked at the blessings here right in front of her.
Now she had to show Tobias he could do the same. Could they be happy here together again? No matter what?
Tobias helped Raesha serve the tea and cake while Dinah made everyone laugh with her toddler antics. She chirped like a bird, galloped like a horse and lifted her arms like a butterfly. All the noise woke Daniel, and now he was laughing and crawling behind her. Dinah had never been a fussy baby unless she was sick, but today she seemed to have picked up on the stress in the adults and had decided she’d make them feel better.
Smart child. It had worked to break the ice that gripped all of them.
After about an hour where Dinah moved from lap to lap, Alisha came up to where Josie stood by the kitchen sink. Placing her empty glass down, she turned to Josie. “Josie, you’ve handled yourself well today. I can only imagine how hard this has been for you.”
Josie kept washing dishes, her gaze on the green fields and valleys beyond the house. “I’ve been through a lot, but I know this is where I belong now.”
“And what about Tobias?”
Josie looked at her Englisch friend. Alisha had almost gotten killed over a year ago at Christmas. But Nathan had helped save her and they’d found each other again after many years apart.
Instead of answering the question, she asked one of her own. “Are you and Nathan happy now that you’re back in Campton Creek and married?” she asked, curious.
Alisha’s soft smile said it all. “Yes, we are. We’re going to build a new house not far from our cabin, and we already have our offices set up around the corner from Campton House.”
Shrugging, she said, “I never dreamed I would come back here to practice law. But Nathan loves his work, and now I love mine even more. We like the simple life here.” She touched her stomach. “And...we’re expanding.”
“Expanding?” Confused, Josie looked down and then back at Alisha. “You’re ime familye weg? Pregnant?”
Alisha bobbed her head, her eyes misting. “Only Nathan and a few other people know, but I’m telling you to give you hope, Josie. Nathan and I found each other again, against all the odds.” She glanced at where Tobias was playing on the floor with Daniel and Dinah. “I hope you and Tobias can do the same.”
Josie gave Alisha a quick hug and turned to watch Tobias with the kinder. “He would be a gut daed.”
“And you are a good mother,” Alisha said. “Now, I need to get them back. They’re leaving tonight to go back to Drew. He’s toward the last days now.”
Josie thought she should feel something for Drew, some sympathy or regret. But she only felt pity for the man who had abused several young girls like her. Her only prayer for now was that his parents wouldn’t take Dinah from them.
Walking over to where the Beningtons walked toward the door with Josiah and Raesha, Josie stood next to Tobias, who now held Dinah in his arms. He saw Josie and gave her a soft smile.
“Thank you again,” Pamela said, her expression more serene now. “We have to get back to our son. I know the Amish don’t allow for pictures, but—”
Alisha looked at Josie and then at Raesha. “Drew would like to see a picture of her.”
Josie gulped in air, wishing she could make them all go away, but Tobias took her hand, grounding her.
Josiah glanced at Raesha and then Naomi. Naomi nodded. “We all have little treasures that carry us through the day. I believe one picture should be allowed.”
Alisha turned to the Beningtons. “This is not to be shared with anyone except Drew. I know you’ll respect that because we all want to protect Dinah’s privacy.”
“We will,” Theodore said, his tone humble now. “We will cherish a picture of Dinah forever.”
Josie felt hope stirring in her soul. That statement sounded so final and full of resolve. Had they seen that this was the right place for Dinah?
Raesha sat Dinah in her little rocking chair and chatted with her, out of the way of the phone camera, while Alisha took two quick pictures with Pamela’s phone and then handed it back.
Pamela pulled up the pictures. “Perfect.” She turned to Josie. “I know you don’t think Drew is sorry, but he is and he really did send us here. He wants you and Tobias to be happy.” She looked at the picture of Dinah. “And this will make him happy.”
Tobias never let go of Josie’s hand
, even when she wanted to scream and wail in pain for her child and her family. She didn’t do that and she didn’t run away.
Instead, she straightened her spine and said, “Dinah is dear to all of us. We love her. I hope you will consider that when you talk to Drew.”
Alisha gave the Beningtons a moment to speak. When they said nothing, she glanced at Josiah and Raesha. “I’ll be in touch.”
Pamela turned one last time. “Thank you again for letting us see Dinah.” She touched a hand to Dinah’s. “You are precious.”
Dinah grinned and then dropped her head against Josiah’s shirt. Obviously, the child was tired. Josie rushed to take her.
“I’ll get her tidied up.”
Josie and Tobias held back with Naomi and Dinah when the others walked outside. After they were alone with Mammi, and Dinah was down on the floor with Daniel again, Josie put a hand to her mouth and turned to Tobias. He tugged her into his arms.
“I’ve got you. Always,” he said, his arms holding her close. “I’ve got you.”
Dinah looked up from her toys and pointed. “ToTo and JoJo. Ja.”
“Ja,” Naomi echoed, clapping her hands. “You are a wise one, my little Dinah.”
* * *
Tobias helped Josie finish up, and together they got Daniel and Dinah washed up and ready for dinner. Dinah was a sweet child with an open heart. Daniel gurgled and cooed, his smile as bright as his mamm’s. Tobias wondered what it would be like to hold a child of his own. A bitterness grabbed at his chest. Drew had forced himself on Josie. She’d had a child—without Tobias.
Because Tobias had been too addled to see the truth in front of him. Drew was no friend of his.
When Tobias caught Josie watching him while he admired the kinder, he straightened up and mentally shook himself. He shouldn’t be daydreaming about children, and he had to let go of the piercing bitterness that clouded his vision.
“I should go,” he said, glancing at the sun. “It will be dark soon.”
Naomi heard him. “Tobias, why don’t you stay for supper? You’ve been so kind in helping us through this. Surely we can feed you.”
Tobias couldn’t be sure how to answer, so he deferred to Josie. Telling himself he should get out of here, he heard the words come out of his mouth. “Would you mind?”
Josie sent Naomi a firm glance. But she turned back to him. “You are wilkum to stay, of course. We’re having sandwiches and potato salad. Not much, but none of us has much of an appetite anyway.”
Tobias had been too nervous to eat much at breakfast and his stomach was protesting. “Sounds like a feast to me.”
Josiah and Raesha came back inside. “That was difficult,” her brother said, running a hand down his beard. “Josie, how are you holding up?”
Josie glanced at her brother. Dark circles lined his eyes and he looked as exhausted as she felt. “I’m all right, bruder. I made it through, at least.”
Raesha sank down on a chair. “I’ll get the sandwiches out after I catch my breath. That was the hardest two hours I’ve ever sat through.”
“We all need a little rest,” Naomi said. “What do you think, Josiah? Did we convince them to leave Dinah be?”
Josiah shook his head. “I do not know. I pray so.” He glanced about and said, “I’m going to check on the animals and close up the barn for the night.”
He walked out before anyone could comment. Raesha sent Naomi a concerned frown, her eyes full of torment. “I don’t like seeing him in this way. What should I do?”
Naomi adjusted her chair. “Let him go. Men tend to hold things inside, but he knows you will listen when he needs you.”
She gave Tobias a pointed nod. “Tobias, what about you?”
Surprised, Tobias blushed under that matronly scrutiny. “I am here because...because I hold the guilt for all of this.”
He couldn’t finish. He turned and went out the door, too. But instead of heading to the barn, Tobias took off toward the footbridge and then stalked to the Fisher house.
Naomi was right. Men did hold things inside, and right now he was about to explode with anger and grief for what might have been. He didn’t know if he had the heart to get past any of this.
Chapter Nineteen
Josie didn’t stop to think. She dropped what she’d been about to do and took off after Tobias. Knowing where he’d probably gone, she squinted in the late-afternoon sun and saw a lone figure over on the porch of the Fisher house.
Why did he always go back to that place?
Why had she been doing the same lately?
Were their memories so tied up in tangles that they both needed to go to that house for different reasons?
She made her way slowly through the tall grasses and skinny saplings that lined the old arched bridge. People around here loved bridges of all sizes and shapes. The solid structures brought everyone together and made winters lovely and summers pleasant. This small one had worked to bring her and Tobias together several times.
Was God leading her toward the path home?
Tobias lifted his head when he heard her coming, though he didn’t wave or invite her up onto the porch. Well, it wasn’t his house now, was it?
“Tobias,” she said, her sneakers hitting the old planked porch floor. He barely looked around.
Josie decided she’d had enough of missing out on her dreams. She’d win him back, completely. Somehow. It wasn’t lost on her that she’d fought him with every fiber of her being, and even still she didn’t feel worthy of him. But her heart skipped right over those important details. Having him near today had helped her through dealing with Drew’s parents.
But, right now, Tobias didn’t want to hear her words of encouragement and appreciation.
So she didn’t speak again. She scooted up beside him and stood staring out at the view. This was the best spot on the property to see the fields and valleys and the bridges that took people back and forth to Campton Creek.
Crops waved green and shiny new across the fields. The clean lines of earth formed a sweet symmetry that lifted and shifted over the valley, the highs and the lows merging against the golden shots of sunshine. Off in the distance, wildflowers popped here and there, lending color amid the fresh green and the brown earth.
“This is a beautiful spot,” Tobias finally said. “I’d planned to talk to Josiah again about buying it, but now I don’t know. Maybe it is a bad idea, considering.”
She didn’t speak for a moment. She had to adjust her mindset with the image of him previously wanting to live here and now suddenly wondering if he shouldn’t.
Her heart burning, she asked, “Have you changed your mind, then? Because of all that you now know about me?”
He turned to her, his eyes going dark with understanding. “Josie, no, no. I didn’t mean because of you. You are not at fault. I feel responsible for what happened to you, so I can now see why you pushed me away.”
Did he think that? All this time he’d been here, she had pushed him away, but not because she blamed him. Although if she’d been honest, she did feel angry at him for taking her to Drew’s house that night. Had she been subconsciously holding that against Tobias?
He glanced over at her, apprehension in his eyes. His expression went to stone. “You do blame me. You still don’t want me to stay in Campton Creek, do you?”
They stood looking into each other’s eyes, so many unspoken words between them. Everything went quiet and still, the trees calming. Even the birds seemed to settle and wait.
Finally, Josie gave in to what her heart already knew. “I think buying this farm is a fine idea, Tobias. You should stay here. You have a job and you have found a place to make your own. I don’t have any right to stop you.”
He finally pivoted to face her, the agony etched on his face now turning to relief and hope. “Are you certain sure?”
> Josie wasn’t sure of anything right now, but her heart seemed to know better than her mind. “I am certain sure.”
He let out a breath. “Gut, because I gave your bruder a good-faith payment to hold it for me, and time is running out.”
“You did what?” she asked, her head fuzzy with confusion. “You mean, all this time, Josiah and you cooked up a deal, thinking I’d finally cave?”
Tobias had the good grace to blush. “No. It’s not like that.”
“It sounds like that,” she retorted, trying to decide if she should be extremely mad or very glad. The old, misguided Josie would have lashed out. Today, after everything they’d had to deal with, she couldn’t muster up any anger toward her brother or this man. But she was a bit confused. “My own kin, lying to me.”
“He did not lie. He withheld a business transaction.”
Josie finally smiled, able to accept that she wasn’t all that mad after all. “I will deal with Josiah when I get back home. Are you still staying for supper?”
“Am I still invited for supper?”
“Ja,” she said, liking this new easiness surrounding them. But she knew the underlying problems were still there. “Ja, I think we should all stick together right now. Josiah will need a friend and...we all need you.”
His expression changed and softened with relief. “Josie, do you need me?”
She wouldn’t lie to him ever again. “I think I do, but I’m afraid. I need you to be patient with me, Tobias. I know it’s asking a lot because you’ve already been through a lot. I left you, I wasn’t honest with you, I pushed you away, and now you know the worst there is to know about me. And yet you’re still here. I just need you to be patient.”
“Josie,” he said, taking her into his arms. “I am a very patient man. I’ll talk to Josiah and get this house sale settled. Then I’m going to fill this place, piece by piece, with beautiful things so that if you do decide to move in here one day, you won’t have any bad memories at all. I only want you to have good memories.”
Josie’s heart beat too fast. “What if I can’t let go of those horrible memories? I have not had the best life and a lot of that was my doing.”
