by Lenora Worth
“Tobias,” she said, pulling him close. “I do not deserve you.”
“You’re right,” he replied as he leaned close. “You deserve way better than me.”
She gave him a quick, shy kiss and then turned, taking him by the hand. His gaze on her told her he wanted the kiss to last longer, but someone might see them here. “Get cleaned up. I have to fry the ham.”
“I’ll set the table and help you,” he replied. “Then your brother and I have some important business to take care of.”
She whirled, her fingers on the doorknob. “You are buying the house.”
He nodded. “Are you sure you want me to do that?”
“I am,” she replied, her hidden fears tamped down for now. “I did give Josiah a hard time about keeping secrets from me, but he made a good point. If I’d known, I would have fought against both of you.”
Tobias hurried to wash his hands and face, and grabbed a towel hanging on the hook next to the pump. “You don’t have to fight anyone anymore, Josie. Remember that.”
Josie wanted to remember that, but they might have one more big fight before they could finally work their way back to each other.
The Beningtons could return any day now. She was fiercely afraid of what they would demand from her family.
Chapter Twenty-One
Josiah smiled over at Tobias. “Looks like the Fisher farm belongs to you now, Tobias. I’ll get this paperwork to Alisha Craig, and I’ll take your check to the bank first thing tomorrow.”
Tobias reached across the dining table to give Josiah a handshake. “A fourth up front, then monthly payments, and so on and so on, until I’ll have you paid in full.”
They’d discussed the plan and Josiah had agreed. Since no Realtor was involved, they could make their own rules, but Alisha had drawn up a simple contract that stated the terms of the transaction.
Now it was done.
“I know where you’ll be living,” Josiah replied after shaking his hand. “I’ll come looking for my money if you miss a payment. But you’re wise to pay on the installment plan rather than handing me the rest of your savings. Might need that for another day.”
Josiah had to be referring to Josie. If they got married, Tobias wanted to have some money in the bank to get them going.
“A rainy day,” Tobias replied, thinking of furniture and gardens and children. Would he and Josie have children? He hoped so.
Josiah nodded and gave Tobias a solemn glance. “Do you think Josie will live there with you?”
That was the one thing Tobias couldn’t predict. “I do not know. I’d like to believe our love can overcome even the memories of that house, but I have wondered if I’m doing the right thing.” Looking toward the door, he added, “She told me she wanted me to do this, but she did not say if she wanted this, too.”
Josiah tugged at his beard. “It could be gut for her to start fresh there with new, happy memories. But I warn you—things need to go slow with Josie.”
Tobias stared down at the typed words on the simple contract they’d agreed upon. “Or she might bolt and I’ll lose her all over again.”
“Ja,” Josiah replied. “She did not want to return here, but...we are so glad she did.”
They were alone in the kitchen of the main house. Raesha had taken Dinah and Daniel over to see Naomi and Josie while the men conducted business.
The quiet centered Tobias even as he was anxious to get on with his new life. “All I can do is hope that my love will see her through.”
“Your love and the Lord’s grace,” Josiah replied. “Raesha and I had a lot to work through when I first returned here. Even before we realized we wanted to be together, she was willing to take Josie into her home. She did it for me and because she believed it was the right thing to do. It wasn’t easy, loving Dinah and knowing her real mother would be close by. We’ve all worked hard to be a family, and we were doing fine.”
Tobias looked down at the table. “Until I showed up, and then the Beningtons after that.”
Josiah’s smile was bittersweet. “You did throw a wrench into things, but I believe you are helping Josie to see that she is worthy of love. Her moods have improved now that she’s accepted you being here.”
“But?”
“But we always knew there was the possibility that the boy who did this might show up or try to make trouble one day. When we heard Drew had gone to prison, we all breathed a sigh of relief and Alisha did the right thing by getting in touch with him in prison on our behalf. As Alisha explained to the Beningtons in that first meeting, he immediately refused any claims on Dinah because he knew it would prove him guilty of what he’d done.” Josiah shook his head. “Sometimes, I wish I’d never agreed to finding him and telling him he had a child. If we’d kept her a secret, we’d all be going on with our business and raising Dinah as we’d planned.”
Tobias could see the apprehension in Josiah’s eyes. “I understand that feeling. Drew committed a crime, the worst kind of assault on a woman, but now he wants to make restitution before he dies. So that means even though the law is on our side, his parents could make demands simply because they have the means and they want their grandchild with them.”
“Just another wrinkle to get through,” Josiah said. “So if you truly love my sister, you’ll need to be strong for her. If something happens and we have to give Dinah to them, we will all be devastated, but Josie will not recover. And then we’ll lose her forever.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Tobias said, waving the paper. “This should prove that. If Josie can’t marry me, I will still be here, waiting for her to change her mind.”
Josiah studied Tobias for a moment. “Then I wish you well with your new home, Tobias.”
They shook hands again, then walked over to the grossmammi haus together. Josiah turned to Tobias when they reached the door. “Are you coming in to share the news?”
Tobias nodded. “I want to talk to Josie before I head back to Abram’s house.”
He needed to know how she really felt about this.
* * *
Josie glanced up when the men entered. While Daniel and Dinah had played with some wooden blocks, Raesha and Naomi had grilled her about Tobias buying the farm.
“I’m fine with it,” she’d told them earlier. “He needs a place to live and he wants to grow produce to sell up on the road. That and working with Abram will keep him busy.”
They’d chatted a while about the merits of hard work. Tobias had never been afraid of doing what needed to be done. He went after what he wanted in life, his plans solid and thought-out. Not like Josie, with just dreams and nothing solid to count on.
“And where do you fit in?” Raesha had asked, her smile serene while she kept one eye on the kinder.
“I don’t know yet,” Josie had admitted. “I am glad that Tobias knows the truth now, but we have so much to work through and many decisions to make.”
The door had opened before they could continue, leaving Raesha and Naomi giving her concerned glances.
“The paperwork is complete,” Tobias said with a smile, his gaze moving over Josie. “I now own the land across the footbridge.”
Josie’s heart did that quick jump of fear that always happened when she thought about her old home. She’d gone after Tobias the other day, but she’d been so intent on soothing him that her heart had steadied before she even realized where they were.
Then she remembered him finding her there on the porch a few days ago and holding her while she cried. Remembered how she’d run over there when Josiah had first gone to talk to Tobias about buying the place. What a broken mess she’d been that day, drenched from the rain and terrified of seeing Tobias up close.
But, looking back, she could see the pattern that linked her to the Fisher house.
After she’d been released from the hospital and ha
d been back here for a while, afraid that she’d lose Dinah again, she’d taken Dinah to the old place to hide out. Josiah had found her in an upstairs bedroom. So much had changed since the night Josiah had found her inside the house, holding her baby close.
Sometimes she truly believed Gott had led her to leave Dinah with the Bawell women. This was where Dinah belonged. Josie belonged here now, too. Moving across the way would be like taking an ocean voyage.
No. The place could not be a threat to her anymore. She had to overcome her memories and her fears. Maybe she’d be able to handle all of it, after all, with Tobias by her side.
“Josie?”
She looked up to find her brother and Tobias staring at her. “What?”
“I asked if you are sure about this,” Josiah said, his gaze tender.
“I will be fine,” she said. “The worst is over. Tobias knows my secrets and he’s still here. It will be nice having him next door.”
Tobias shifted on his brogans. “Josie, can we take a walk and talk?”
She stood and looked toward Raesha and Naomi. They both inclined their heads.
Dinah had been playing with blocks in the corner, but she jumped up, teetering. “Go walk.”
“Neh,” Raesha said, grabbing her up to tickle her tummy. “Go bathe.”
“Walk with ToTo,” Dinah retorted, pointing a chubby finger at Tobias.
“Go get bath,” Josiah replied with a big grin. “Like a fish.” He began to make bubble sounds and pretend he was swimming.
Distracted by his antics, Dinah stopped fretting long enough for Tobias and Josie to slip out onto the porch.
The air was fresh with the gloaming, but the sun hadn’t gone all the way down. A hint of coolness filled the warm dusk, its gentle wind flowing across Josie’s face.
“Will you walk with me over to the house?” Tobias asked, his tone full of hope.
Josie glanced at the home she’d once lived in. This was it, then. Time for her to see if she could do this.
“Josie?”
She glanced from Tobias to the property he had just bought. The house glowed white, with a shimmering sheen of creamy sunshine covering it in the same way it had the night she’d first seen Tobias there. Looking at it now, she thought it looked new and shiny and ready for someone to make it a real home.
“Who would ever dream you’d come here and own this house,” she said. “Who would ever dream we’d be standing here together.”
“I dreamed it,” he said, taking her hand. “I dreamed it night and day from the time you left me until now. But the dream isn’t complete, is it?”
Josie’s gaze moved from him to the house. Now that this was real and he was here to stay, planning to live over there, her world shifted yet again and settled back, her heart thudding and jumping. Help me, Lord.
Would she be able to do this? Why did the thing she’d longed for the most still seem just aside of her grasp. Could she find the strength to start a new life here with Tobias, finally?
Tobias waited her out. He’d do that. He’d wait. But would that be fair to him? To have to wait on her to decide? To have to wait on her to change? To wait on whether they’d lose Dinah or not?
“How long are you willing to do this, Tobias?”
He looked confused and defeated. “Do what?”
“Wait on me. You waited back in Kentucky and I never returned. Now you’ve bought this house and you’ll wait for me even longer? Even if I can’t set foot back inside that house? Even if we lose Dinah?”
Tobias tugged her close, his eyes washing her with the same warmth that had settled over the house. “Walk with me, Josie.”
How could she resist him? He’d always been the one. She loved him with a deep, abiding love, but a love she’d held close like a secret, in the same way she held the wooden treasures he’d carved for her close to her heart each night before she went to sleep. The little horse and the beautiful butterfly. Her treasures from this man, the wood warming from her touch in the same way she felt safe and warm whenever he touched her.
He must have sensed the conflict warring in her soul. “You have to know that from now on, I will protect you, I will cover you, I will take care of you,” he said, his tone soft and husky. “I wasn’t there before when you needed me the most, but I am here now and I will make sure no one ever hurts you again.”
She stopped him when they reached the footbridge. “And what about you, Tobias? Who will hold you and protect you? I wasn’t there when you needed me, either, but I hope I can make that up to you now.” Shaking her head, she looked down at her sneakers. “I do not want to hurt you again, ever.”
“I hope that, too, but having you with me now makes up for you having to go away before,” he said. “Look, Josie. Look at us. Here we are on the bridge between your world and mine. I want you in mine and I’m willing to wait for that to happen.”
Then he leaned toward her and kissed her, a soft touch of his lips to hers. Josie’s heart sighed as she held to him, the memory of their time together coming back in a sweet flow of love and need. For a moment, the old doubts crowded in and the tormented memories tried to take over. Her shame, her pain and the realization that she’d convinced herself that she could never marry him almost stopped her in her tracks. She wanted to turn and go, but she had to stop running, didn’t she?
When he pulled away, she stared into his eyes and mustered up her courage. “Why don’t we go and look at the house before it gets too dark.”
Tobias smiled and took her hand.
Josie held her breath, said her prayers and promised herself she would never let this man down again. Crossing this bridge with Tobias was all she’d ever wanted, and maybe it was fitting that they should want to make a home together here in this place.
Did Gott want this to be their home? Or were they trying to change a past that would never leave them alone or let them forget?
She stopped in the yard, the shadows coming toward her like creeping memories, her hand tight inside of Tobias’s. Josie took deep breaths, smelled the scents of honeysuckle and fresh grass, of water and earth, of hope and peace, felt the last of the sun shining on her face.
She closed her eyes and breathed it all in. This moment, if she could just keep this moment.
“Josie?”
She opened her eyes and saw Tobias there. “I’ll be all right. I have you back and we’ll take the rest as it comes.”
“You don’t have to go inside tonight,” he replied. “You’re right. For now, this is enough.”
Then he tugged her close and told her about his dreams for this place.
And for once, Josie didn’t even notice the darkness.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Josie could almost relax now.
It was easy to see her future. While Tobias had not officially asked her to marry him, they were becoming closer every day. He’d been by several times to move things into the Fisher house. Now that he had a serviceable buggy, he’d bought a strong quarter horse to get him around and to help him clear the land behind the house.
Today she watched from her perch on the breezeway as Tobias and several men from the community, including her brother and Abram, helped him to haul logs from some trees they’d cut down on the back corner of the property. Abram wanted to pick the best of the hardwood, of course. The rest would be used for firewood or shredded into mulch that Mr. Hartford would sell at the general store.
Josie took a sip of her lemonade and watched as the sun began its descent toward the west. She’d worked in the hat shop most of yesterday and today. Long days, but she always enjoyed learning how to steam and press the rims and ribbons to make the straw summer hats that the Amish men wore to work. Raesha had started the seamstresses to making prayer kapps, too. They now made them in both white and black sturdy silk or lightweight organdy and muslin, and shipped them out on a
daily basis.
If she and Tobias did marry, she hoped Raesha would let her work part-time to earn some household money.
If.
Such a tiny word for so many things in life. Raesha had sent her home while she finished up some paperwork. When Dinah had begged to come with her, Josie had put her down for a nap inside the main house and left the back door open so she could hear her. Daniel was sleeping in the tiny office behind the front desk of the hat shop.
That gave Josie a few moments to watch the men at work, their figures tiny since they were far from the Fisher house.
When she heard a car roaring up the dirt-and-gravel lane, her heart stilled, frozen against her ribs. Josie hopped up and saw the Beningtons getting out of a fancy taxi.
They were coming toward the house.
She ran inside the grossmammi haus to alert Naomi.
“They’re back,” she said, out of breath.
“Who?” Naomi asked from where she sat reading the local paper.
“Drew’s parents,” Josie said. “Raesha is still at the hat shop. I’ll go and check on Dinah.”
Naomi nodded. “Bring her here with us.”
“I have to warn Raesha,” Josie said, her mind reeling. They were back for a reason. They wanted Dinah.
“Where is Josiah?”
“With Tobias and the others, clearing the land out beyond the house.”
Naomi glanced at the door. “He should be here.”
“I’ll take Dinah and try to let Raesha know they are here.”
She rushed into the room where Dinah sat playing in the crib. “JoJo.”
Josie picked up the child and kissed her cheek. “JoJo is here.”
Then she hurried to the hat shop, surprising the seamstresses and the men working the steam machines when she entered through the back door. When she reached the door between the workroom and the front shop, she saw Pamela and Theodore through the partially opened door, already talking to Raesha.
Carefully opening the swinging door an inch, she listened.
“We just want her to see her father,” Pamela was saying, tears in her eyes. “Drew would like to see her before it’s too late. Please, let us have some time with her and our son together.”
